The service of giving attention to another self

[Night Owl]

The pattern I see in this is: those people are inconsiderate of themselves, they do not give themselves the attention that they need and then turn towards you to fill that need. In return that makes you be inconsiderate of yourself in order to answer this need. But you are wise enough to recognize that this doesn't feel good, that something feels off about it. Instead if you are considerate about yourself and give yourself the attention that you need, you can get free of this cycle and maybe, just maybe inspire them to look and listen at their need. But it's never garanteed. Some people would go to really extreme extent before they attempt to be kind to themselves. But you would at least bring a step into the right direction instead of letting them justify their cycle.

I struggle with this too, and with time find it's sadly best not to give everyone what they want all the time because sometimes, what they need and what they want is completely opposite, and you can feel it when they ask for something that doesn't seem quite in allignment with their wellbeing. We can't please everyone.