How to tune myself?

[APeacefulWarrior]

What I think about now and what is a challenging thought is that I prematurely wasted some kind of large light stack that I planned to use somehow smarter and for greater reasons.

No such thing. From our point of view, the light and/or Intelligent Infinity is basically an infinite renewable resource. And at least from my experience, the more one works with large amounts of love/light, the easier it becomes to keep working with larger amounts. At worst, you only temporarily drained yourself, like a rechargable battery. But you'll recharge soon enough.