01-16-2018, 09:19 PM
Hey Cainite, Sorry this took so long my internet was acting up this afternoon.
I was going to private message but I want to share this link here.
I think I actually found it here originally but can't recall.
Ted and youtube are down for me but it likely will for others my internet has been iffy.
https://www.ted.com/talks/eleanor_longde...in_my_head
Here is a review of it in the mean time.
http://www.schizlife.com/a-review-of-the...r-longden/
Then I loved this study from Stanford University.
https://news.stanford.edu/2014/07/16/voi...nn-071614/
To sum up the last one very poorly in cultures that teach that the voices are to be feared, the voices or hallucinations are experienced as aggressive and violent, in cultures that teach no such fear the voices and hallucinations are often helpful and even nurturing, generally are recognized as family that passed on.
We could say it has something to do with being programmed with fear but it also could be about resonance. We are taught to be fearful so we attract or meet opportunity for unhealthy energies to meet our frequency.
Either way you are not trapped experiencing your symptoms as a damaging influence. We need to get you out of fear.
I think you also need to be much gentler and push yourself less. You are still in a recovery stage and love would tell you not to take on any more challenges at this time. I might be wrong but I felt you were pushing yourself in a way wanting to make up for lost time, that is kind of fear. If it was a loved one going through this addiction recovery would you have encouraged them to put themselves through what you willingly put yourself through yesterday?
I think your mom obviously loves you but I wish she hadn't heaped even more stress on you by her reaction. I know it wasn't willful but I wish you could forget it because it was not your fault you are doing your best.
You will keep doing your best. I have confidence in you. Just go back to nurturing yourself and get stable before you push yourself out in the world if you can.
Lastly I am going to say yesterday was a messed up day. Try and leave it there. I had my first OCD episode in years yesterday. I was scared I left my hair straightner on(that I didnt use yesterday) so I had to turn around drive a few blocks back to the house so it didnt burn my house down. I knew it was highly unlikely and it felt like my old OCD but I entertained it yesterday. I'm not bringing it into tomorrow, it was just a visitor, but other people seemed pretty crazy in the last week so don't judge, don't fear/ Let every day be its own. YESTERDAY was stupid high pressure I am kinda not surprised it effected you.
Anyways I know I have no first hand knowledge of your experience but I know you are super self aware. I know you are strong, I know you have high vibration people here who love you. Even if this drags you down a bit we arent leaving. I'd like it if you resisted falling into a spiral if you can. We all obvious want to be here for you so lean.
I was going to private message but I want to share this link here.
I think I actually found it here originally but can't recall.
Ted and youtube are down for me but it likely will for others my internet has been iffy.
https://www.ted.com/talks/eleanor_longde...in_my_head
Here is a review of it in the mean time.
http://www.schizlife.com/a-review-of-the...r-longden/
Then I loved this study from Stanford University.
https://news.stanford.edu/2014/07/16/voi...nn-071614/
To sum up the last one very poorly in cultures that teach that the voices are to be feared, the voices or hallucinations are experienced as aggressive and violent, in cultures that teach no such fear the voices and hallucinations are often helpful and even nurturing, generally are recognized as family that passed on.
We could say it has something to do with being programmed with fear but it also could be about resonance. We are taught to be fearful so we attract or meet opportunity for unhealthy energies to meet our frequency.
Either way you are not trapped experiencing your symptoms as a damaging influence. We need to get you out of fear.
I think you also need to be much gentler and push yourself less. You are still in a recovery stage and love would tell you not to take on any more challenges at this time. I might be wrong but I felt you were pushing yourself in a way wanting to make up for lost time, that is kind of fear. If it was a loved one going through this addiction recovery would you have encouraged them to put themselves through what you willingly put yourself through yesterday?
I think your mom obviously loves you but I wish she hadn't heaped even more stress on you by her reaction. I know it wasn't willful but I wish you could forget it because it was not your fault you are doing your best.
You will keep doing your best. I have confidence in you. Just go back to nurturing yourself and get stable before you push yourself out in the world if you can.
Lastly I am going to say yesterday was a messed up day. Try and leave it there. I had my first OCD episode in years yesterday. I was scared I left my hair straightner on(that I didnt use yesterday) so I had to turn around drive a few blocks back to the house so it didnt burn my house down. I knew it was highly unlikely and it felt like my old OCD but I entertained it yesterday. I'm not bringing it into tomorrow, it was just a visitor, but other people seemed pretty crazy in the last week so don't judge, don't fear/ Let every day be its own. YESTERDAY was stupid high pressure I am kinda not surprised it effected you.
Anyways I know I have no first hand knowledge of your experience but I know you are super self aware. I know you are strong, I know you have high vibration people here who love you. Even if this drags you down a bit we arent leaving. I'd like it if you resisted falling into a spiral if you can. We all obvious want to be here for you so lean.
![[+]](https://www.bring4th.org/forums/images/collapse_collapsed.png)