10-24-2018, 02:27 PM
Accepting the shadow is probably one of the most difficult parts of self-integration. For myself, I found that I tend to balance things in the extreme and then find the balance in the middle for all things.
So, in a general sense, I can imagine myself as the 'most evil' person or version of myself possible and then I can imagine myself as the 'most good' version of myself and these sort of cancel eachother out. I always look at what is in my mind and then examine that against what I actually observe of myself. I see that even though I contain the potential and thoughts necessary to be 'the most' of either, I actually always fall somewhere more in the middle.
From there I start to shave down attributes. I look at the most extreme things possible, like total sadism for the evil side and total martyrdom for the good side. I see they are both undesirable and cancel eachother out. I start to 'tone down' attributes. With 'extreme love' on one side and 'extreme hate' on the other I find the spectrum of like and dislike, ranging from strong to weak to true neutral.
My being is full of all things and so I think we often get caught up in all of the possible things we might be as we see them in our minds and if we actually trim this down and start to perceive ourselves with a mental image that is actually truer to our humanity we alleviate the psychic pressure we place upon ourselves to be as the idealistic images we cling to.
You aren't a devil or a saint, good or evil, a good person or a bad person, you are just you. Shed your mind of the dross and you'll see that all the things you think make up your personality actually aren't you at all. I'm not talking about ego death either, I'm talking about seeing the ego for what it really is, which is a mirror for the self. If you realize the ego is actually EMPTY and the mind is the source of the content of its illusions you see that the ego is the cart and the mind is the horse. To master the ego it is the mind you must master. Then it will be your most faithful companion.
So, in a general sense, I can imagine myself as the 'most evil' person or version of myself possible and then I can imagine myself as the 'most good' version of myself and these sort of cancel eachother out. I always look at what is in my mind and then examine that against what I actually observe of myself. I see that even though I contain the potential and thoughts necessary to be 'the most' of either, I actually always fall somewhere more in the middle.
From there I start to shave down attributes. I look at the most extreme things possible, like total sadism for the evil side and total martyrdom for the good side. I see they are both undesirable and cancel eachother out. I start to 'tone down' attributes. With 'extreme love' on one side and 'extreme hate' on the other I find the spectrum of like and dislike, ranging from strong to weak to true neutral.
My being is full of all things and so I think we often get caught up in all of the possible things we might be as we see them in our minds and if we actually trim this down and start to perceive ourselves with a mental image that is actually truer to our humanity we alleviate the psychic pressure we place upon ourselves to be as the idealistic images we cling to.
You aren't a devil or a saint, good or evil, a good person or a bad person, you are just you. Shed your mind of the dross and you'll see that all the things you think make up your personality actually aren't you at all. I'm not talking about ego death either, I'm talking about seeing the ego for what it really is, which is a mirror for the self. If you realize the ego is actually EMPTY and the mind is the source of the content of its illusions you see that the ego is the cart and the mind is the horse. To master the ego it is the mind you must master. Then it will be your most faithful companion.
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