01-11-2011, 08:07 PM
Ankh, interestingly enough my situation is remarkably similar to this,
I had an extremely happy childhood, with a great sense of joy and love. At the age of 7 I developed a medical condition for which I got the only solution is circumcision. ( Note that 7 is the age of the first hard Saturn aspect)
After that I changed entirely, and have had really, a quite difficult life. Not outwardly, my schoolwork was certainly not hard and I didn't have to work, I got bullied but not much more than others.
I, as you, developed very serious orange ray issues having to do with basic acceptance of self. I never really properly developed yellow-ray socially, always being a sort of outcast amongst my friends.
My first spiritual pursuit was astrology and through it, I basically became aware of the Law of One. I voraciously studied religion and spirituality due to a deep (then unconscious) desire to heal and return to that previous state.
It has only been recently have I really realized it was my heart center that was the problem.
I have begun doing two things that seem to be working in healing it:
1. Focus on the heart center, both in meditation and not. Previously I focused on third eye, which allows higher spiritual states, but the third eye cannot re-balanced the heart, furthermore, green ray seems to be the ray which can most easily and readily heal the lower chakra problems.
2. Guard, and change your thought process. Any time you see yourself being judgmental, replace it with love.
A good example of this is commercials. Due to the obvious fact that commercials try to manipulate you, there is a tendency to become cynical about the happy people in them. I have felt it's helpful to simply try to identify them and feel their joy, it's easy enough to ignore the commercial message if you need to.
I had an extremely happy childhood, with a great sense of joy and love. At the age of 7 I developed a medical condition for which I got the only solution is circumcision. ( Note that 7 is the age of the first hard Saturn aspect)
After that I changed entirely, and have had really, a quite difficult life. Not outwardly, my schoolwork was certainly not hard and I didn't have to work, I got bullied but not much more than others.
I, as you, developed very serious orange ray issues having to do with basic acceptance of self. I never really properly developed yellow-ray socially, always being a sort of outcast amongst my friends.
My first spiritual pursuit was astrology and through it, I basically became aware of the Law of One. I voraciously studied religion and spirituality due to a deep (then unconscious) desire to heal and return to that previous state.
It has only been recently have I really realized it was my heart center that was the problem.
I have begun doing two things that seem to be working in healing it:
1. Focus on the heart center, both in meditation and not. Previously I focused on third eye, which allows higher spiritual states, but the third eye cannot re-balanced the heart, furthermore, green ray seems to be the ray which can most easily and readily heal the lower chakra problems.
2. Guard, and change your thought process. Any time you see yourself being judgmental, replace it with love.
A good example of this is commercials. Due to the obvious fact that commercials try to manipulate you, there is a tendency to become cynical about the happy people in them. I have felt it's helpful to simply try to identify them and feel their joy, it's easy enough to ignore the commercial message if you need to.
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