01-16-2021, 06:52 PM
As ada said, the subject of discernment in this has been insightful. Thank you for writing this up.
Still, I think it does tie into weed and addiction in general pretty well. When it comes to those really pleasurable experiences that also can offer a brief step into that realm of insight and realization, there seems to also be the danger of getting caught up in the feelings of those experiences and forgetting even the basics of mindfulness. We try to recapture or reenter into that world and pursue conditions to do so--chasing the dragon.
Personally, I've used weed for a couple years and with mixed results. It often really amplifies the feelings of love and helps shake up some of my normal patterns of thought. There are also times where I simply become stuck in a loop, like you said, and it takes some painful steps to release that cycle. And while I may feel in very intense moments of these experiences that I'm gaining quite a bit of insight about parts of myself, I often cannot follow those threads again while in a sober state; which gives the temptation for delving back into that state. Reducing both frequency and dosage and getting into the habit of writing my insights and generally being intentful has been very helpful for feeling like I'm getting something valuable out of the experiences without needing to then jump back into it.
Weed and psychedelics have been wonderful and helped me to really dive into my insecurities, accept myself, and accept death. But it's also made me face some things I just was not able to get past, as well. And then I blame myself for being weak. That's quite sad.
For those who might be having issues with addiction or escapism, I would offer the suggestion to try out just embracing it. If you know you're going to turn to those things again, why punish yourself with violent thoughts about how weak you feel you are, or how undeserving you are? This is not just for substances, but even for addictive thought patterns. If you're going to engage with this thing, then really lean into it and let yourself have it. If you're going to smoke weed and you know you shouldn't, try just accepting yourself and your thoughts so that you can really appreciate the experience. This way you can finally explore what you desire to, rather than running from how you think you should be. Be kind and playful to yourself even when weapons have been drawn.
I can absolutely relate with the feeling of being abandoned by those that "should" be helping me; both mundanely and spiritually. The suggestions to ask for help often just aggravated my sense of loneliness and worthlessness. This is still something I frequently experience. The only thing I've found to be helpful in this is just sitting with those destructive thoughts and trust that they will move on. Something like trusting that what I'm experiencing is just temporary and not intrinsic to my experience. Then I try to just connect with that self-trust that I can let it go.
Still, I think it does tie into weed and addiction in general pretty well. When it comes to those really pleasurable experiences that also can offer a brief step into that realm of insight and realization, there seems to also be the danger of getting caught up in the feelings of those experiences and forgetting even the basics of mindfulness. We try to recapture or reenter into that world and pursue conditions to do so--chasing the dragon.
Personally, I've used weed for a couple years and with mixed results. It often really amplifies the feelings of love and helps shake up some of my normal patterns of thought. There are also times where I simply become stuck in a loop, like you said, and it takes some painful steps to release that cycle. And while I may feel in very intense moments of these experiences that I'm gaining quite a bit of insight about parts of myself, I often cannot follow those threads again while in a sober state; which gives the temptation for delving back into that state. Reducing both frequency and dosage and getting into the habit of writing my insights and generally being intentful has been very helpful for feeling like I'm getting something valuable out of the experiences without needing to then jump back into it.
Weed and psychedelics have been wonderful and helped me to really dive into my insecurities, accept myself, and accept death. But it's also made me face some things I just was not able to get past, as well. And then I blame myself for being weak. That's quite sad.
For those who might be having issues with addiction or escapism, I would offer the suggestion to try out just embracing it. If you know you're going to turn to those things again, why punish yourself with violent thoughts about how weak you feel you are, or how undeserving you are? This is not just for substances, but even for addictive thought patterns. If you're going to engage with this thing, then really lean into it and let yourself have it. If you're going to smoke weed and you know you shouldn't, try just accepting yourself and your thoughts so that you can really appreciate the experience. This way you can finally explore what you desire to, rather than running from how you think you should be. Be kind and playful to yourself even when weapons have been drawn.
(01-16-2021, 02:11 PM)Black Dragon Wrote: ...
I can absolutely relate with the feeling of being abandoned by those that "should" be helping me; both mundanely and spiritually. The suggestions to ask for help often just aggravated my sense of loneliness and worthlessness. This is still something I frequently experience. The only thing I've found to be helpful in this is just sitting with those destructive thoughts and trust that they will move on. Something like trusting that what I'm experiencing is just temporary and not intrinsic to my experience. Then I try to just connect with that self-trust that I can let it go.
![[+]](https://www.bring4th.org/forums/images/collapse_collapsed.png)