Human Relationships and the Concept of Judgment

[Patrick]

You can let others know what you don't like about them (you should also point out what you do like about them though), but without asking them to change who they are just to please you.

I can point out to my wife those little things just so she knows, but she also knows I am not asking her to change. It offers an opportunity for the other-self to change IF they wishes this.

For example, she is very impatient, but since she told me this is something she wishes to work on and ameliorate, I can point it out more often. The other things she does not wish to change, I just mention them if I forgot she did not wish to work on them or if they are new things. Otherwise, the change that is required is within me, to accept those things the other-self does not wish to change (to accept the other-self unconditionally).

If you find after deep contemplation that you cannot manage this unconditional acceptance, then the change required might be a change in relationship.