03-13-2011, 01:41 AM
There's lots of room for disagreement between people, while still accepting and loving.
The real key is not to avoid debate, just avoid making debate about people or egos or proving yourself right. Virtuous debate is a search for the truth, a desire to test ideas, to discuss. This is a great thing if you don't let the ego get involved.
The trick is making sure you don't identify with your position. Anytime you start putting "winning the debate" as a goal over finding the truth I think you're going wrong. (I don't think it's STS though)
A good example is your post. I don't think STS and STO can be simplified quite as you put it. I don't think your conclusions follow from what Ra said either. But I mean this is just my opinion, my interpretation, I'm not particularly upset or worried that you have a different interpretation, and I'm not attached to my own interpretation. We could discuss ideas dispassionately in a loving way as a search for truth and insight, this can be in the form of a debate.
It's a mistake to start turning a debate over ideas into a huge nasty conflict full of negative emotions. But it's equally a mistake to avoid debating or discussing ideas and conflicting opinions because you are scared that asserting yourself is STS.
Gotta get that middle road
The real key is not to avoid debate, just avoid making debate about people or egos or proving yourself right. Virtuous debate is a search for the truth, a desire to test ideas, to discuss. This is a great thing if you don't let the ego get involved.
The trick is making sure you don't identify with your position. Anytime you start putting "winning the debate" as a goal over finding the truth I think you're going wrong. (I don't think it's STS though)
A good example is your post. I don't think STS and STO can be simplified quite as you put it. I don't think your conclusions follow from what Ra said either. But I mean this is just my opinion, my interpretation, I'm not particularly upset or worried that you have a different interpretation, and I'm not attached to my own interpretation. We could discuss ideas dispassionately in a loving way as a search for truth and insight, this can be in the form of a debate.
It's a mistake to start turning a debate over ideas into a huge nasty conflict full of negative emotions. But it's equally a mistake to avoid debating or discussing ideas and conflicting opinions because you are scared that asserting yourself is STS.
Gotta get that middle road