intense feelings of homesickness

[zenmaster]

Great speech, but to me it sort of hinges on the premise that I'm indeed, somehow condemning. Not sure where these other responses, like 'military-like self-disipline' come from either. Sometimes I think we create our own ideological 'battles' to make ourselves feel more just in contrast. The imagination helping out the ego.

I may have taken the contrast too far, you may be right about creating battles in our minds. The discipline part was me extrapolating: if you believe the best way to polarize to STO is to "suck it up" when it comes to pain rather than expressing your emotions and seeking comfort from other-selves then I would assume that you are on more of an ascetic path.

'You' as in 'me' ascetic? Not me. Emotions are an unconscious reaction to something not yet integrated, due to fear for integration of what the emotion is holding back to consciousness, for example. You might want to look at some possible techniques like EFT or Yuen method, or other similar ways of bringing out and acknowledging what the emotions are suggesting. It can be a little strange, but one thing that may be done is just sit with the energy, consciously, and work with it using the breath. The emotions and the breath are both a bridge between body and mind. The consequent dissipation of the emotional energy is hardly due to lack of expression. It's not only expression and conscious acknowledgement, but acceptance. One can 'express' the same emotion over a lifetime or many lifetimes before ever bothering to acknowledge the source. We have as long as we want though. Excuse me, hair shirt itches.