Sexual Revolution

[Brittany]

Abridgetoofar, your perspective is so refreshing! I think it's wonderful that you've put so much thought into what you want out of a sexual relationship, enough to abstain if it doesn't feel like it's for the right reason. Most of the guys I know turn into sex zombies if they go a week without it. It becomes all they can talk about, and they'll start hurling themselves at anyone they think they might have a chance with, because they pursue sex in a compulsive fashion. Even seekers who understand the spiritual principles behind sex will often feel that going too long without it is going to put them into some kind of hole.

I'm not trying to bash men here. I've known women who were just as bad. I'm just relaying my experiences, and hearing you say the things you have gives me tremendous respect for you. I think that once you find what you are looking for, it is going to be very awesome for you!

I've only had sex with one person, though I certainly explored sexual feelings before that. Like you, we just never went all the way. Then when I met my husband we had sex on our first date. It seems foolish, especially since I had turned down other opportunities out of the desire to wait for something meaningful instead of compulsive physical gratification, but when we met we instantly connected on the blue ray level. It really was love at first sight, and has only grown stronger every day since. It seems like we MUST have known each other before this incarnation, to immediately jump into such an intimate, open relationship It seems like when the time was right, a huge magnet just pulled us together.

At times I've regretted sealing myself into having sex with only one person. If anything,the curiosity can drive me mad sometimes. However, I don't think I'm capable of "casual sex." I couldn't just have a fling with a person then go back to my life like it didn't happen. Well, I'm sure I could, but I would be miserable. I've certainly fantasized about it, but I don't think I'm capable of having sex without forming attachment. Sex is one part of the whole in a meaningful relationship to me. Without the relationship behind it, it seems disjointed.

Now, if you had a whole group of people who were all very close to each other, very connected, I could easily conceive of them having an open sexual situation (this seems to be how Ra went about it). However, society has dumped so many preconceived stereotypes on us that I think this would be hard to achieve without severe distortion on this planet at this time. This idea that marriage or even just a solid relationship = ownership has been driven into our heads for centuries on end...it's going to take some serious effort to overcome those programmed biases as a people in general.

Walt and I have taken very small steps in releasing this ownership concept, but he has a hard time understanding how having sex with someone else wouldn't mean there was less love for him. And as much as I'd like to say I'm all open minded and wouldn't care if he loved other women along with me, I would. It would bother me. But we've spent long hours discussing the concepts behind free love, and I'd say we're taking baby steps at least.