Sexual Revolution

[Ankh]

Ahktu, I am glad that you shared this experience so openly. I hope that you can understand my incoherent babble here, as this is very difficult to express.

All my life I have been "falling in love" when I saw a beautiful being inside of another self. (I am not talking about unconditional love that accepts and sees all.) I always thought that it was pain in the a$$, because I could switch the object of that affection over a day, or worse, just by looking at someone else. During my current very long relationship I don't know how many times I dreamt of someone else, and thought that I "fell in love".

Today I (think that I) understand what it is about. In first posts of this thread, we simultaneously wrote similar things - we want to merge with beings, with things... And now that I understand who and what I am (more than before anyway), I see that what we want to do is fusion. All my life I confused it with physical sex and "love", and maybe at some point it is. What it is about, and this is very difficult to put in words, is to inhale the essence of the other self and merge with the core in order to completely to get to know that other self within the seconds. That coalescence has also extremly intense positive "side effects" that can be liken to an explotion - that go far beyond the physical orgasm as we know it here. When I see an entity that "speaks" to my inner self I feel how this entity's sparke attracts me as a magnet. I want to get inside of that self and drink the whole essence. But it is more to it than I can put in words. Anyway, all my life I confused it with sex and transient "fall in love" emotions, thinking that it is something wrong with me, that I am too over-sexualised or something, but being in a relationship sex did not give me satisfaction. When, at least in my case, it all comes down to me not understanding myself.

I still suffer from not being able to walk up to any entity that I feel magnetized to and at least, touch, smell (taste? ) It. But it is how it works here. We are not home and have to adopt to "Earth conditions". These conditions are different, and so is our human individual mind and the group consciousness of the society we live in. Yes we came here to add love and light, and hippie generation tried it very hard. They are a good example of free love, peace and small communities of trying to share everything. Unfortunatly, very, very few of those ideals, if any, survived. Earth is hard on our ideals. I am also pro free love, and free share and non ownership - but I honestly don't know if it works upon this planet at current time. Not even with two so open minded souls like you and Walter. I almost think that it would be somehow better if you tried that idea with someone who is not your friend (in order to not ruin the friendship), so that you and Walter would know, but then again, it has to be someone that you feel magnetized to, right?

I am not sure either, if this what we want to achieve can be achieved at all. If it is possible, can it then be done with others, and not only one? As one is indeed kind of limitary. Not that I do not love my partner, I love him very much, but there are others that is just as bright and sparkling as he is. At this point I am not sure if this is about 2-3 lower nexis at all. On the other hand, we have to work very hard for this merging to occur, so it might as well be about those nexis. This kind of brings Ra's words into my mind, where they said something about being frustrated about things that were easy in the home density did not work here. We might "remember" the simplicity and intensity and the very true nature of merging/fusion, but as I said - we are not home where it can be done that easy. Here, we have to reaaally work for it, if it can be done at all. But whom am I to know such things? I really hope that you continue to share though on how things are proceeding for you two in this matter... L/L