LoO Jesus & non-canonical gospels

[Ankh]

How do we undergo such powerful meditations, then? I don't know.

Step by step, my brother. You will discover your true inner call sooner or later, as it is inevitable. The only question is when, as it is a matter of time. If you want to dance further and enjoy flowers along the road, you are welcome to do it. But it comes the time when you get tired, and long to go home, and when that time comes you'll put your whole desire and will to it, my brother. And then you will find that path.