05-05-2011, 06:07 PM
I just had a thought, what if our mind shows us something that we need to process. You said it yourself, you are into the torture in some kind of way, but can't seem to handle it when it happens for real, for instance, when you see it happens to the bugs and alike. But you can't seem to drop this issue in your fantasies, even if you want it. So, what I was thinking is maybe your mind is trying to heal you in this distorted, sick way. Because we are not supposed to repress things that are coming up into the surface of the consciousness. Sometimes we have to and need to, in order to handle it. But in this case, maybe, it's time to deal with this stuff? I know that it's going to put you down for several days maybe, but if you "give in" and bathe in it, maybe you will come out later more clean and light in the mind/body/spirit wholeness than ever?