09-22-2009, 10:15 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-22-2009, 10:29 PM by peelstreetguy.)
I agree with what Ole says about Salvia. From personal experience I know how dangerous salvia is! It is not for the weak of heart or mind. As Ole pointed out, The shamans never make extracts that are 20x stronger and never smoke it. They usually chew a cigar shaped bundle of leaves, which is called a quid.
Here we do smoke strong extracts. Although I don't regret my experiences with Salvia, I do think smoking strong extract is a mistake for most people.
I decided to give up hallucinagens about a year ago because I became a huge target for the ones who wish to put out my light. While on shrooms a year or so ago, I learned how to open my heart chakra fully. Next time I did them, I was able to sit with open chakras and a lot of light running through me. The pure joy (light) is almost too much for me to handle. After an hour or so, I was attacked. It wasn't pretty. My head started buzzing and my hands felt like they were gonna catch on fire they were so hot and I felt like I was having a panic attack and maybe a heart attack. It persisted for about a half an hour.
So now I don't do that anymore.
I post this because I'm done with Hallucinogens. I post this to share my experiences.
My Explorations and Thoughts on Hallucinogens
By: peelstreetguy
When I became a teenager, I had my first experience with hallucinogens. I took a hit of acid when I was fifteen. Turns out I liked it and all my friends were into it. It was 1985 and I was becoming a headbanger and listening to heavy metal. At this point in time I started taking acid on a regular basis. Even when at school. At one point, I was doing a hit or two about ten times a month at least, for a few months. I was on acid for every concert I went too as well. I never took more than a few hits at a time. I experienced some mild hallucinations from time to time. By the time 1986 rolled around I had been introduced to Mescaline and Magic Mushrooms. I only did the mesc. A few times because it was hard to find. The mushrooms on the other hand were quite available and I started doing them on a regular basis; Although, unlike the acid, I noticed you could not do the mushrooms two days in a row, because you would not get high the second day. So I resolved to doing them every few days. I went on like that for a few months. Never doing more than a gram at a time. Again, some mild hallucinations from time to time, but nothing too intense. By 1988, I had calmed down on the hallucinogens, only doing them occasionally as the opportunities arose. This paragraph is to explain that I'm far from being a novice when it comes to hallucinogens. During that period of my life, I had gone on well over a hundred trips.
During my late 20's, I had my first major experience. This is what happened to me: I took what I thought was mescaline with some friends. I snorted the whole gram. After which my friend exclaimed something to the effect that I was crazy for doing that much. I told him I could handle a gram of mescaline no problem, to which he responded, “It's not really mescaline, it's PCP”. Holy Crap!!! I would have never done any if I would have known that's what it was. I could hardly tell if I was standing or sitting and felt quite strange. After a while the three of us decided to go down to the river. It was about midnight. So we stumbled together arm in arm, holding each other up, walking to the river. When we got there, we sat in the kiddie park for a little while. Then I got the urge to go stand at the edge of the water. So I left them and went right to the shoreline, where I stood staring straight out across the water. I was still in sight of my friends. now I'm not sure what happened next, except that everything went black. I became aware that I was in the middle of nothingness. There was nothing, not even my own body. I was just conscious of my own consciousness. Then I became aware of an evil presence all around me in the blackness/nothingness. At this point I'm pretty sure I would have s*** myself if I was in my body, which I realized I wasn't. I cannot over emphasize how terrified I was. I was a consciousness outside my body, god knows where, surrounded by a super strong evil presence. Man I thought that was it. I was done for! I called out to god and my mother (who had died a few months before) to help me, begging to be back in my body. Then I saw a shot of light and found myself back in my body at the shoreline. I thought only a few minutes had passed. Still quite high and freaked out, I walked over to my friends who informed me that I had been standing completely motionless at the waters edge for an hour and a half!!! I didn't believe them until I saw his watch which proved it. One interesting thing to note, is that I never lost awareness of who I was. When I woke up the next day I was still high. I was extremely worried that it would never wear off. By the next day I was fine. Strangely enough, I was left with a kind of gift as I call it. Although it has waned a bit over the years I seem to have the ability to detect evil. Evil in thoughts, actions and vibration, in myself and others and in places. Obviously I will never do PCP again and I feel strongly that no one should ever use it!
A few months after The PCP, I found myself holding on to a friends large stash of mushrooms. One night I was able to see any cartoon character I thought of on the bathroom wall. I found this quite amusing. I started doing larger doses because I realized when I did about 4 grams I started to see this mist all around. I started to get the idea that it could open up another dimension or allow me to see into another dimension. This is where my major curiosity and exploration into other dimensions starts. I had quite a few trips during that brief period but nothing more worth noting. In retrospect I realize now that those mushrooms were not that potent. After that period, I moved on in life and found a new place to live. I didn't touch any hallucinogens for over 5 years. Just the usual pot smoking and beer drinking.
Moving on, I find myself living in a new place again and meet new people. Turns out, one of these people knows someone that grows mushrooms. I'm interested. I try some. They are very good. Much better than the ones in my past. I only did .7 of a gram and I could see that mist a little bit. This renewed my curiosity about other dimensions. I decided to start experimenting more seriously with the aim of at least seeing into another dimension. I took several trips over the course of a few months. I started with 3.5 grams the first time and increased the dose every trip until I was up to 7 grams for the last trip. During these trips I saw many things. One thing is always the same. If I sat still, I could see this stuff all around in the air. For lack of a better term, I call it ether. It kind of looks like the reaction between oil and water when you mix them and kind of like yellowish light but keep in mind that it seems etheric. It is unaffected by physical means. I have seen entities come and go in this stuff. Some of them appear to be made of it. I saw two salamander man type creatures once. They seemed to be made of the ether. Their vibration seemed neutral to me and they hung around for about an hour or so. When in this state I can feel the vibes of the entities I encounter. Another time I saw this creature that seemed kind of insectoid like but stranger than that. It was right in front of me and I could see it very clearly. It also seemed to be made of the ether being condensed or something of that sort. I could see right through it, like the ether. At that point in time, it was the clearest manifested entity I had ever seen. It's vibe was like it wanted something from me. I felt like the entity was curious about me and wanted to communicate. I also got the feeling that it wanted to join with me or feed off me or something like that. I told it mentally that it could not. I decided I wanted to get rid of it, so I got up and left the room. When I came back it was gone. It was a little unnerving but I stayed cool. I should mention that while sitting mostly still or moving slowly, I can see this other dimension or whatever it is all around. It's like being in two places at once. It's Like another dimension is super imposed upon this one, and the other dimension is see through. If I move rapidly or walk around a lot, I lose the ability to see the other dimension. There is another type of entity that I have encountered many times. Sometimes there are more than one at a time. I don't like these guys. They have an ugly vibe to them. They are sort of, kind of alien insectoid or something; Although not the same as the entity described earlier. These ones are darker than the ether, kind of blackish. I get the feeling that they would do harm if possible. One day I went to a good friends house and tripped with him. We were sitting there having a good time when I spotted one of the blackish ones. To my amazement he was able to see it to. It was big. It took up a lot of the room we were in. My friend got nervous, he told me to stop paying attention to it and maybe it would go away. That's basically what happened, but a little while later more showed up. I think there was three at one time. I decided to see if I could affect one. I started paying attention to one and it got closer to me. I held my arm up and it got closer. I was looking at the main body of the thing when my friend told me that part of it was moving down my arm and it was at my shoulder. Sure enough, I look at my arm and it had sent out some tendril like thing that was encompassing my hand and arm and got to my shoulder. At that moment I made a defensive gesture, waving my arm. As I did this, silver white sparks were being shot off all over my hand while making that defensive gesture. The thing recoiled and took off. I was amazed by the sparks and so was my friend. He could see it too!!! You have to realize this other dimension as I call it, the ether and the entities, do not seem like hallucinations. I can see it all as clear as the keyboard I'm typing on. The only difference is that it is see through and very strange. Of course I have some hallucinations as well. For example, once my hallway seemed a lot longer than normal and on an incline. Another time me and my buddy were marvelling at my wood floor moving all around. Another time I saw a sun with a smiling face on my wall. I could go on and on, but the point I'm trying to make is that the hallucinations seem like hallucinations. The other dimension does not seem like a hallucination and appears to be somewhat interactive.
Keeping with the chronological order of this report, I will move away from the mushrooms for a bit and describe what happened to me when I discovered Salvia Divinorum. It was Summer 2008. Let me say right off that this stuff makes most of my mushroom trips seem like a walk in the park. This stuff is the apitomy of bizarre!!! I bought some of the dried leaf that was twenty times as potent as normal leaf. The first time I tried it, I got a weird feeling in my head, like a type of invisible force field move around my head for one rotation. Like the second hand of a clock going around the clock face. The second time I tried it I got pulled onto my left side as I sat there on the couch. It was like an invisible tractor beam and it pulled me over. I had never experienced anything like that before. It seemed incredible. I didn't feel high or buzzed, this tractor beam (this is what I call it for lack of a better understanding) just pulled me right over and I was stuck against the couch. After that I realized there was really something to this stuff. So then I tried two hits in the pipe instead of one. The result was the strangest thing that I had ever experienced up till that point in my life. I felt a very strong female presence and the room suddenly started to peel up, starting at the far right corner from where I was sitting. The room peeled up and rolled up almost entirely. It stopped just short of it being gone, I guess because the effect wore off at that moment. I got a peek at what was behind it and there was nothing. It was a black void kind of. When I say the room peeled up and rolled up, I mean it literally. It peeled up just like a sticker would and It (reality) seemed to be incredibly thin like a sticker. This blew my mind! It was so real I couldn't believe it. Completely unlike any type of hallucination I've ever experienced. The effect only lasted a few seconds then I was left with a mild sort of strange although not unpleasant buzz for half an hour. Then I was perfectly fine. I noticed that music or video of any kind made me angry while I was under the influence. The next time I did it, I had a Water bong and a slightly bigger dose. I took and held in one hit as long as possible, exhaled and took another hit. While holding in the second hit, it occurred to me that it seemed like I could hold it forever. Then it hit me! My memory of what happened next is clear in some parts and hazy to non existent in other parts. The first thing that happened is that I felt that pins and needles feeling all over my body and especially my head. It feels like giant pins and needles if you can understand that. The feeling intensifies very rapidly to a point where I explode. It feels like I shattered into a million pieces. At this point I lose consciousness. The person watching over me said I slumped over and was unconscious. Just before I lost consciousness I thought I saw the room peel away and there was nothingness besides a little gnome working away at something, but this memory is very hazy at best. I'm not too sure about that part. The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of nothing. I was freaking out! I looked all around and noticed behind me far far away in the blackness/nothingness, The room I used to be in and the person watching over me. I don't remember seeing myself in the room. It looked like my square room lit up far in the distance in the middle of nothingness. I felt really sad and wanted to go back, especially because of my love for the person watching over me. Then I started laughing like I never laughed before. I just realized some kind of cosmic joke or something and I was laughing at myself for having forgot The real reality. Because now it felt like this was the real reality and my normal reality was just an illusion. I Can't tell you how hard I laughed from my heart and how real it was. Like a super reality. After I finished laughing I became aware that I was standing on some sort of platform in the nothingness and I wasn't alone. I felt the strong female presence I had felt in an earlier trip. Standing not far from me was some kind of entity that seemed quite alien to me in appearance. I can't remember what she looked like very well. She was bipedal humanoid shaped. The head and face seemed very strange and I remember the color orange around the rest of the body. I wish I could describe her better but it's very fuzzy in my memory. Anyhow, she speaks to me and says “So,you want to know what it's really like?” When she said this it seemed to be in a mocking sort of way. Not in a nice or cordial way. The next thing I know, Thin giant pages of realities are flying by. Then nothing. I realize that I'm alone again in the middle of nothingness. No platform, no nothing. Then I start to forget who I am. This continues until all I'm aware of is the fact that I exist. That's it! No memory no nothing! I am. That is all! It felt like like I was in that state forever. Time did not exist. The next thing I know, I come to on the couch and quickly realize who and where I am. I was confused for a second then amazed because I had completely forgotten about this existence, This incarnation, this personality. Just as all this is dawning on me, a big vortex of incredibly intense pulsating rings of color appears about eight feet away from me. I see it plain as day like everything else in the room. It is incredibly beautiful, exept for these bizarre red mouths in a ring on the out side. The person watching over me realizes I've come to and says something to me. The mouths all repeat what was said but in a laughing mocking manner. Then I feel that invisible tractor beam and it pulls me from the solar plexus area. It's super strong and it literally pulls me up off the couch and toward the vortex. I can't stop it, It's too strong. So I'm walking into the vortex being pulled by the tractor beam and I'm marveling at the beauty of all the intense fluctuating colors. Then I realize that there is a black hole at the end of the vortex and the vortex is not nearly as long as it seemed from the outside. I'm instantly terrified of going through the black hole and I reach out and grab hold of a nearby piece of furniture and hold on for dear life as the tractor beam keeps up its intensity. The black hole seems to small for me to fit through but I know the tractor beam will do it anyhow. This continues for about five more seconds with me holding on for dear life before the whole thing disappears. I was sure that if I went through that black hole it would have been the end of me. In retrospect, who knows. I think following my gut instincts was the right thing to do. Needless to say, the whole experience was pretty terrifying to me. It left me somewhat traumatized for a while. I'm pretty sure I left my body during that trip. I know it all sounds pretty incredible, but that's what happened.
At this point, I only have two more trips to talk about. They are both mushroom trips. I won't be describing the entirety of them, just the important parts. On October 10 2008, My good friend and I dropped about seven grams each of very potent shrooms. This was to become the best trip I ever had. We were watching a Supertramp concert. I had not eaten supper, so it hit me hard and fast. As I was watching the tv. A huge diamond appears to me, taking up the entire wall the tv is against. It is made of beautiful white/clear light. Inside the diamond are all these beautiful colors of lights moving around. It was so beautiful and I became so full of joy I couldn't believe it. It was so intense the feeling. Tears started streaming down my face profusely. My shirt was wet after because I shed so many tears. While I'm doing that and basking in this incredible joy, I realize that I feel my heart chakra very strongly open, which I had never felt before. I also became aware of an invisible connection or beam between my heart chakra and the diamond. The joy becomes overwhelming and I lean my head back and laugh while the tears continue to stream down my face. As I laugh I see an undulating rainbow come out of my mouth!!! That totally blew me away! I could see it plain as day as well as the diamond. After I stopped laughing I looked back and the diamond was gone. The diamond and the rainbow were as real as any of the entities I've come across. More real if anything. Ever since that experience, I can feel when my heart chakra is open and I'm more aware of it in general. I feel like it's a wonderful gift given to me!!! I often wonder about the significance of the diamond and the rainbow. I met a few other interesting entities that night. While in the bathroom I encountered an entity that appeared to be about two or three feet tall. It was most foreign. I'll try to describe it as best I can. Visually it was constantly shifting, kind of like constant interweaving honeycombs but stranger. On this night I was able to feel vibrations so strongly that I could kind of communicate through feeling and vibration and thoughts. It's like a whole different way of communication. It's really freaky and cool. The entity in the bathroom, which I call the bee entity, had very curious vibes. It seemed very curious about me and somewhat friendly. We exchanged some thoughts/vibes and it's mind was thoroughly strange and alien to me. It also seemed female and I thought it was flirting with me. Yeah, I know, weird! Anyhow I finally left the bathroom and told my buddy about it. I don't think he went to the can for hours. LOL! He did not want to meet her. I met two more entities that night. They were like the complete opposite of each other. First was the nasty one. It was like the ones I talked about which are blackish and have the ugly vibe. This one was big and had a menacing, ugly, more intelligent vibe. I have to admit, it made me very nervous. I didn't tell my friend about it, I just kept thinking at it “go away, you cannot harm us”. The thing was taking up a volume of space about 7 feet by 10 feet by 10 feet. I get the feeling it was much larger and it's body extended outside the room as well. Thank god, it went away. The next entity was smaller. It was about six feet in diameter. I could see the whole entity. The shape was kind of shifting and whitish and had all these little rainbow things around and in it. The rainbows reminded me of Christmas ornaments because it almost seemed as if they were hanging on the entity and it was kind of dancing or flowing. The vibe was pure love and joy from this being. I felt my heart chakra open again and was flooded with joy! The entity left after a few minutes. This trip was incredibly spiritual for me. I'm so happy it happened. Also of note, my friend at one point saw a woman stretched like an arch across the room. He said it was beautiful. That reminds me of Nuit, the Egyptian goddess. He also said that the room was so full of multicolor light for a while that he could hardly stand it because he couldn't make out anything else from his vision.
This brings me to the last trip I did, a few weeks ago. It Started off fine. I was alone and watching a fleetwood Mack concert on dvd. I found it so easy to open my heart chakra and I was sitting there quite blissfully for about an hour. As the dvd ended my significant other came home. We talked for a few minutes then something weird happened. My left hand started to heat up and sweat. It felt like it was going to catch on fire. I thought about my right hand and the same thing happened to my right hand. I managed to shake it off mentally, then I got out another dvd and put it in the player. As I started watching it, I became aware of a vibration of death/fear/evil. Super strong. I didn't see anything. I didn't have to! Next thing I know, my head is buzzing and I feel dizzy. I realized that I was under attack. For a minute or two, I thought I might die. I turned off the dvd. Turned on the lights full blast and started to watch some hockey game on tv that I didn't care about. I was trying to seriously change my head space. It seemed to work. After about an hour I felt like it was gone. I went down stairs to turn off some lights and I encountered one of those insectoid like entities and it seemed to take up the whole room. At that point I realized that I was not in the mood for communication or exploration, so I went back upstairs and continued to watch hockey. I think I willed myself to straighten up and fought the drug for a few hours. During that time I wrote down some thoughts about the drug. This is some of what I wrote: This drug is a being unto itself I suspect. It definitely has its own feel/vibe/being. Know you can use it, but it uses you as much as you use it if not more. It does open doors to other places/things. But it is an entity to itself at the same time. Salvia has it's feel, so do the shrooms have their own feel. I'm convinced they feed off our thoughts/vibes. What we feel is an anaesthetic effect of the organism. Like a spider biting an insect. One side effect is this seeming ability to see/interact with other beings. Which is very dangerous. I feel like I'm infected with an alien organism! It's like it wants to meld with me, but this time I don't give in. The result is mental unease to say the least. The result makes me tired. Now if I fall asleep it will feed off me at will, off my energy. This stuff is an alien parasite! I think it wishes to consume us in order to understand/know us. The anaesthetic effect numbs us and helps it to feed. All our normal defences are put to the side! The filter is gone! I know understand that the mental filter works two ways. It keeps our mental crap in and keeps outside mental influences out. Remember that there are a bunch of things happening at the same time.
I don't know if I agree with my above statements while under the influence, but I suspect I'm close. I do not plan to use any of these so called hallucinogens again. I'm more interested in starting to meditate and see where that brings me. I do not advocate the use of any of the drugs I have mentioned. I'm lucky things turned out ok in the long run. I've seen people completely lose it once the filter is gone. All the crap in their head ( the skeletons in the closet) that they normally keep to themselves is all of a sudden flooding out of their mouths. As well they become affected by negative outside influences and start acting very weird. I've seen it happen to quite a few people. I find that people who are more positively polarized don't have this problem nearly as much.
I decided to write this when I realized that I was through with hallucinogens. I write it hoping to understand it better myself and to shed some light on the subject for others who are curious about hallucinogens. Thank you for reading my report. Comments and insights by anyone who reads this would be appreciated.
Here we do smoke strong extracts. Although I don't regret my experiences with Salvia, I do think smoking strong extract is a mistake for most people.
I decided to give up hallucinagens about a year ago because I became a huge target for the ones who wish to put out my light. While on shrooms a year or so ago, I learned how to open my heart chakra fully. Next time I did them, I was able to sit with open chakras and a lot of light running through me. The pure joy (light) is almost too much for me to handle. After an hour or so, I was attacked. It wasn't pretty. My head started buzzing and my hands felt like they were gonna catch on fire they were so hot and I felt like I was having a panic attack and maybe a heart attack. It persisted for about a half an hour.
So now I don't do that anymore.
I post this because I'm done with Hallucinogens. I post this to share my experiences.
My Explorations and Thoughts on Hallucinogens
By: peelstreetguy
When I became a teenager, I had my first experience with hallucinogens. I took a hit of acid when I was fifteen. Turns out I liked it and all my friends were into it. It was 1985 and I was becoming a headbanger and listening to heavy metal. At this point in time I started taking acid on a regular basis. Even when at school. At one point, I was doing a hit or two about ten times a month at least, for a few months. I was on acid for every concert I went too as well. I never took more than a few hits at a time. I experienced some mild hallucinations from time to time. By the time 1986 rolled around I had been introduced to Mescaline and Magic Mushrooms. I only did the mesc. A few times because it was hard to find. The mushrooms on the other hand were quite available and I started doing them on a regular basis; Although, unlike the acid, I noticed you could not do the mushrooms two days in a row, because you would not get high the second day. So I resolved to doing them every few days. I went on like that for a few months. Never doing more than a gram at a time. Again, some mild hallucinations from time to time, but nothing too intense. By 1988, I had calmed down on the hallucinogens, only doing them occasionally as the opportunities arose. This paragraph is to explain that I'm far from being a novice when it comes to hallucinogens. During that period of my life, I had gone on well over a hundred trips.
During my late 20's, I had my first major experience. This is what happened to me: I took what I thought was mescaline with some friends. I snorted the whole gram. After which my friend exclaimed something to the effect that I was crazy for doing that much. I told him I could handle a gram of mescaline no problem, to which he responded, “It's not really mescaline, it's PCP”. Holy Crap!!! I would have never done any if I would have known that's what it was. I could hardly tell if I was standing or sitting and felt quite strange. After a while the three of us decided to go down to the river. It was about midnight. So we stumbled together arm in arm, holding each other up, walking to the river. When we got there, we sat in the kiddie park for a little while. Then I got the urge to go stand at the edge of the water. So I left them and went right to the shoreline, where I stood staring straight out across the water. I was still in sight of my friends. now I'm not sure what happened next, except that everything went black. I became aware that I was in the middle of nothingness. There was nothing, not even my own body. I was just conscious of my own consciousness. Then I became aware of an evil presence all around me in the blackness/nothingness. At this point I'm pretty sure I would have s*** myself if I was in my body, which I realized I wasn't. I cannot over emphasize how terrified I was. I was a consciousness outside my body, god knows where, surrounded by a super strong evil presence. Man I thought that was it. I was done for! I called out to god and my mother (who had died a few months before) to help me, begging to be back in my body. Then I saw a shot of light and found myself back in my body at the shoreline. I thought only a few minutes had passed. Still quite high and freaked out, I walked over to my friends who informed me that I had been standing completely motionless at the waters edge for an hour and a half!!! I didn't believe them until I saw his watch which proved it. One interesting thing to note, is that I never lost awareness of who I was. When I woke up the next day I was still high. I was extremely worried that it would never wear off. By the next day I was fine. Strangely enough, I was left with a kind of gift as I call it. Although it has waned a bit over the years I seem to have the ability to detect evil. Evil in thoughts, actions and vibration, in myself and others and in places. Obviously I will never do PCP again and I feel strongly that no one should ever use it!
A few months after The PCP, I found myself holding on to a friends large stash of mushrooms. One night I was able to see any cartoon character I thought of on the bathroom wall. I found this quite amusing. I started doing larger doses because I realized when I did about 4 grams I started to see this mist all around. I started to get the idea that it could open up another dimension or allow me to see into another dimension. This is where my major curiosity and exploration into other dimensions starts. I had quite a few trips during that brief period but nothing more worth noting. In retrospect I realize now that those mushrooms were not that potent. After that period, I moved on in life and found a new place to live. I didn't touch any hallucinogens for over 5 years. Just the usual pot smoking and beer drinking.
Moving on, I find myself living in a new place again and meet new people. Turns out, one of these people knows someone that grows mushrooms. I'm interested. I try some. They are very good. Much better than the ones in my past. I only did .7 of a gram and I could see that mist a little bit. This renewed my curiosity about other dimensions. I decided to start experimenting more seriously with the aim of at least seeing into another dimension. I took several trips over the course of a few months. I started with 3.5 grams the first time and increased the dose every trip until I was up to 7 grams for the last trip. During these trips I saw many things. One thing is always the same. If I sat still, I could see this stuff all around in the air. For lack of a better term, I call it ether. It kind of looks like the reaction between oil and water when you mix them and kind of like yellowish light but keep in mind that it seems etheric. It is unaffected by physical means. I have seen entities come and go in this stuff. Some of them appear to be made of it. I saw two salamander man type creatures once. They seemed to be made of the ether. Their vibration seemed neutral to me and they hung around for about an hour or so. When in this state I can feel the vibes of the entities I encounter. Another time I saw this creature that seemed kind of insectoid like but stranger than that. It was right in front of me and I could see it very clearly. It also seemed to be made of the ether being condensed or something of that sort. I could see right through it, like the ether. At that point in time, it was the clearest manifested entity I had ever seen. It's vibe was like it wanted something from me. I felt like the entity was curious about me and wanted to communicate. I also got the feeling that it wanted to join with me or feed off me or something like that. I told it mentally that it could not. I decided I wanted to get rid of it, so I got up and left the room. When I came back it was gone. It was a little unnerving but I stayed cool. I should mention that while sitting mostly still or moving slowly, I can see this other dimension or whatever it is all around. It's like being in two places at once. It's Like another dimension is super imposed upon this one, and the other dimension is see through. If I move rapidly or walk around a lot, I lose the ability to see the other dimension. There is another type of entity that I have encountered many times. Sometimes there are more than one at a time. I don't like these guys. They have an ugly vibe to them. They are sort of, kind of alien insectoid or something; Although not the same as the entity described earlier. These ones are darker than the ether, kind of blackish. I get the feeling that they would do harm if possible. One day I went to a good friends house and tripped with him. We were sitting there having a good time when I spotted one of the blackish ones. To my amazement he was able to see it to. It was big. It took up a lot of the room we were in. My friend got nervous, he told me to stop paying attention to it and maybe it would go away. That's basically what happened, but a little while later more showed up. I think there was three at one time. I decided to see if I could affect one. I started paying attention to one and it got closer to me. I held my arm up and it got closer. I was looking at the main body of the thing when my friend told me that part of it was moving down my arm and it was at my shoulder. Sure enough, I look at my arm and it had sent out some tendril like thing that was encompassing my hand and arm and got to my shoulder. At that moment I made a defensive gesture, waving my arm. As I did this, silver white sparks were being shot off all over my hand while making that defensive gesture. The thing recoiled and took off. I was amazed by the sparks and so was my friend. He could see it too!!! You have to realize this other dimension as I call it, the ether and the entities, do not seem like hallucinations. I can see it all as clear as the keyboard I'm typing on. The only difference is that it is see through and very strange. Of course I have some hallucinations as well. For example, once my hallway seemed a lot longer than normal and on an incline. Another time me and my buddy were marvelling at my wood floor moving all around. Another time I saw a sun with a smiling face on my wall. I could go on and on, but the point I'm trying to make is that the hallucinations seem like hallucinations. The other dimension does not seem like a hallucination and appears to be somewhat interactive.
Keeping with the chronological order of this report, I will move away from the mushrooms for a bit and describe what happened to me when I discovered Salvia Divinorum. It was Summer 2008. Let me say right off that this stuff makes most of my mushroom trips seem like a walk in the park. This stuff is the apitomy of bizarre!!! I bought some of the dried leaf that was twenty times as potent as normal leaf. The first time I tried it, I got a weird feeling in my head, like a type of invisible force field move around my head for one rotation. Like the second hand of a clock going around the clock face. The second time I tried it I got pulled onto my left side as I sat there on the couch. It was like an invisible tractor beam and it pulled me over. I had never experienced anything like that before. It seemed incredible. I didn't feel high or buzzed, this tractor beam (this is what I call it for lack of a better understanding) just pulled me right over and I was stuck against the couch. After that I realized there was really something to this stuff. So then I tried two hits in the pipe instead of one. The result was the strangest thing that I had ever experienced up till that point in my life. I felt a very strong female presence and the room suddenly started to peel up, starting at the far right corner from where I was sitting. The room peeled up and rolled up almost entirely. It stopped just short of it being gone, I guess because the effect wore off at that moment. I got a peek at what was behind it and there was nothing. It was a black void kind of. When I say the room peeled up and rolled up, I mean it literally. It peeled up just like a sticker would and It (reality) seemed to be incredibly thin like a sticker. This blew my mind! It was so real I couldn't believe it. Completely unlike any type of hallucination I've ever experienced. The effect only lasted a few seconds then I was left with a mild sort of strange although not unpleasant buzz for half an hour. Then I was perfectly fine. I noticed that music or video of any kind made me angry while I was under the influence. The next time I did it, I had a Water bong and a slightly bigger dose. I took and held in one hit as long as possible, exhaled and took another hit. While holding in the second hit, it occurred to me that it seemed like I could hold it forever. Then it hit me! My memory of what happened next is clear in some parts and hazy to non existent in other parts. The first thing that happened is that I felt that pins and needles feeling all over my body and especially my head. It feels like giant pins and needles if you can understand that. The feeling intensifies very rapidly to a point where I explode. It feels like I shattered into a million pieces. At this point I lose consciousness. The person watching over me said I slumped over and was unconscious. Just before I lost consciousness I thought I saw the room peel away and there was nothingness besides a little gnome working away at something, but this memory is very hazy at best. I'm not too sure about that part. The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of nothing. I was freaking out! I looked all around and noticed behind me far far away in the blackness/nothingness, The room I used to be in and the person watching over me. I don't remember seeing myself in the room. It looked like my square room lit up far in the distance in the middle of nothingness. I felt really sad and wanted to go back, especially because of my love for the person watching over me. Then I started laughing like I never laughed before. I just realized some kind of cosmic joke or something and I was laughing at myself for having forgot The real reality. Because now it felt like this was the real reality and my normal reality was just an illusion. I Can't tell you how hard I laughed from my heart and how real it was. Like a super reality. After I finished laughing I became aware that I was standing on some sort of platform in the nothingness and I wasn't alone. I felt the strong female presence I had felt in an earlier trip. Standing not far from me was some kind of entity that seemed quite alien to me in appearance. I can't remember what she looked like very well. She was bipedal humanoid shaped. The head and face seemed very strange and I remember the color orange around the rest of the body. I wish I could describe her better but it's very fuzzy in my memory. Anyhow, she speaks to me and says “So,you want to know what it's really like?” When she said this it seemed to be in a mocking sort of way. Not in a nice or cordial way. The next thing I know, Thin giant pages of realities are flying by. Then nothing. I realize that I'm alone again in the middle of nothingness. No platform, no nothing. Then I start to forget who I am. This continues until all I'm aware of is the fact that I exist. That's it! No memory no nothing! I am. That is all! It felt like like I was in that state forever. Time did not exist. The next thing I know, I come to on the couch and quickly realize who and where I am. I was confused for a second then amazed because I had completely forgotten about this existence, This incarnation, this personality. Just as all this is dawning on me, a big vortex of incredibly intense pulsating rings of color appears about eight feet away from me. I see it plain as day like everything else in the room. It is incredibly beautiful, exept for these bizarre red mouths in a ring on the out side. The person watching over me realizes I've come to and says something to me. The mouths all repeat what was said but in a laughing mocking manner. Then I feel that invisible tractor beam and it pulls me from the solar plexus area. It's super strong and it literally pulls me up off the couch and toward the vortex. I can't stop it, It's too strong. So I'm walking into the vortex being pulled by the tractor beam and I'm marveling at the beauty of all the intense fluctuating colors. Then I realize that there is a black hole at the end of the vortex and the vortex is not nearly as long as it seemed from the outside. I'm instantly terrified of going through the black hole and I reach out and grab hold of a nearby piece of furniture and hold on for dear life as the tractor beam keeps up its intensity. The black hole seems to small for me to fit through but I know the tractor beam will do it anyhow. This continues for about five more seconds with me holding on for dear life before the whole thing disappears. I was sure that if I went through that black hole it would have been the end of me. In retrospect, who knows. I think following my gut instincts was the right thing to do. Needless to say, the whole experience was pretty terrifying to me. It left me somewhat traumatized for a while. I'm pretty sure I left my body during that trip. I know it all sounds pretty incredible, but that's what happened.
At this point, I only have two more trips to talk about. They are both mushroom trips. I won't be describing the entirety of them, just the important parts. On October 10 2008, My good friend and I dropped about seven grams each of very potent shrooms. This was to become the best trip I ever had. We were watching a Supertramp concert. I had not eaten supper, so it hit me hard and fast. As I was watching the tv. A huge diamond appears to me, taking up the entire wall the tv is against. It is made of beautiful white/clear light. Inside the diamond are all these beautiful colors of lights moving around. It was so beautiful and I became so full of joy I couldn't believe it. It was so intense the feeling. Tears started streaming down my face profusely. My shirt was wet after because I shed so many tears. While I'm doing that and basking in this incredible joy, I realize that I feel my heart chakra very strongly open, which I had never felt before. I also became aware of an invisible connection or beam between my heart chakra and the diamond. The joy becomes overwhelming and I lean my head back and laugh while the tears continue to stream down my face. As I laugh I see an undulating rainbow come out of my mouth!!! That totally blew me away! I could see it plain as day as well as the diamond. After I stopped laughing I looked back and the diamond was gone. The diamond and the rainbow were as real as any of the entities I've come across. More real if anything. Ever since that experience, I can feel when my heart chakra is open and I'm more aware of it in general. I feel like it's a wonderful gift given to me!!! I often wonder about the significance of the diamond and the rainbow. I met a few other interesting entities that night. While in the bathroom I encountered an entity that appeared to be about two or three feet tall. It was most foreign. I'll try to describe it as best I can. Visually it was constantly shifting, kind of like constant interweaving honeycombs but stranger. On this night I was able to feel vibrations so strongly that I could kind of communicate through feeling and vibration and thoughts. It's like a whole different way of communication. It's really freaky and cool. The entity in the bathroom, which I call the bee entity, had very curious vibes. It seemed very curious about me and somewhat friendly. We exchanged some thoughts/vibes and it's mind was thoroughly strange and alien to me. It also seemed female and I thought it was flirting with me. Yeah, I know, weird! Anyhow I finally left the bathroom and told my buddy about it. I don't think he went to the can for hours. LOL! He did not want to meet her. I met two more entities that night. They were like the complete opposite of each other. First was the nasty one. It was like the ones I talked about which are blackish and have the ugly vibe. This one was big and had a menacing, ugly, more intelligent vibe. I have to admit, it made me very nervous. I didn't tell my friend about it, I just kept thinking at it “go away, you cannot harm us”. The thing was taking up a volume of space about 7 feet by 10 feet by 10 feet. I get the feeling it was much larger and it's body extended outside the room as well. Thank god, it went away. The next entity was smaller. It was about six feet in diameter. I could see the whole entity. The shape was kind of shifting and whitish and had all these little rainbow things around and in it. The rainbows reminded me of Christmas ornaments because it almost seemed as if they were hanging on the entity and it was kind of dancing or flowing. The vibe was pure love and joy from this being. I felt my heart chakra open again and was flooded with joy! The entity left after a few minutes. This trip was incredibly spiritual for me. I'm so happy it happened. Also of note, my friend at one point saw a woman stretched like an arch across the room. He said it was beautiful. That reminds me of Nuit, the Egyptian goddess. He also said that the room was so full of multicolor light for a while that he could hardly stand it because he couldn't make out anything else from his vision.
This brings me to the last trip I did, a few weeks ago. It Started off fine. I was alone and watching a fleetwood Mack concert on dvd. I found it so easy to open my heart chakra and I was sitting there quite blissfully for about an hour. As the dvd ended my significant other came home. We talked for a few minutes then something weird happened. My left hand started to heat up and sweat. It felt like it was going to catch on fire. I thought about my right hand and the same thing happened to my right hand. I managed to shake it off mentally, then I got out another dvd and put it in the player. As I started watching it, I became aware of a vibration of death/fear/evil. Super strong. I didn't see anything. I didn't have to! Next thing I know, my head is buzzing and I feel dizzy. I realized that I was under attack. For a minute or two, I thought I might die. I turned off the dvd. Turned on the lights full blast and started to watch some hockey game on tv that I didn't care about. I was trying to seriously change my head space. It seemed to work. After about an hour I felt like it was gone. I went down stairs to turn off some lights and I encountered one of those insectoid like entities and it seemed to take up the whole room. At that point I realized that I was not in the mood for communication or exploration, so I went back upstairs and continued to watch hockey. I think I willed myself to straighten up and fought the drug for a few hours. During that time I wrote down some thoughts about the drug. This is some of what I wrote: This drug is a being unto itself I suspect. It definitely has its own feel/vibe/being. Know you can use it, but it uses you as much as you use it if not more. It does open doors to other places/things. But it is an entity to itself at the same time. Salvia has it's feel, so do the shrooms have their own feel. I'm convinced they feed off our thoughts/vibes. What we feel is an anaesthetic effect of the organism. Like a spider biting an insect. One side effect is this seeming ability to see/interact with other beings. Which is very dangerous. I feel like I'm infected with an alien organism! It's like it wants to meld with me, but this time I don't give in. The result is mental unease to say the least. The result makes me tired. Now if I fall asleep it will feed off me at will, off my energy. This stuff is an alien parasite! I think it wishes to consume us in order to understand/know us. The anaesthetic effect numbs us and helps it to feed. All our normal defences are put to the side! The filter is gone! I know understand that the mental filter works two ways. It keeps our mental crap in and keeps outside mental influences out. Remember that there are a bunch of things happening at the same time.
I don't know if I agree with my above statements while under the influence, but I suspect I'm close. I do not plan to use any of these so called hallucinogens again. I'm more interested in starting to meditate and see where that brings me. I do not advocate the use of any of the drugs I have mentioned. I'm lucky things turned out ok in the long run. I've seen people completely lose it once the filter is gone. All the crap in their head ( the skeletons in the closet) that they normally keep to themselves is all of a sudden flooding out of their mouths. As well they become affected by negative outside influences and start acting very weird. I've seen it happen to quite a few people. I find that people who are more positively polarized don't have this problem nearly as much.
I decided to write this when I realized that I was through with hallucinogens. I write it hoping to understand it better myself and to shed some light on the subject for others who are curious about hallucinogens. Thank you for reading my report. Comments and insights by anyone who reads this would be appreciated.
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