The mysterious nature of time

[AnthroHeart]

Yes, basically I built up my tolerance to handle large amounts of emotional energy through initially building my sexual desire energies. I also had to build up my ability to keep them balanced (otherwise this amount of emotional energy could tear my body apart). What I have now is raw dense emotional energy that is somewhat unrefined. When I focus on happy, I get just a vague mildly pleasant feeling. So I program this energy to the amount of focus and intensity that is right for me, with regard to what happy means to me.

When I focused on the lower frequency emotions (though they are still dense), my mind was drawn to the feeling of despair. But I don't experience it as something that takes me over. I actually can take solace in it, though only to a certain point because it has a tendancy to suck one in. So at this point there isn't an emotion that makes me feel "bad". Here, it's about exploring the nature of emotions rather than trying to ruin my day with them.

So I experiement with tightening down, or expanding certain emotions like jealousy which led me to longing. More expansive emotions are less tied to identity, and are more timeless in feel. Note that longing still has attachment. More expansive than this would be contentment.

I've gone by my own experience in feeling the energy. It's stored in the chakra's field. I use my 3rd eye singularity to direct the energy, create new emotional energy, or take in emotional energy that's already out there.

I'm working on the basic emotions like anger, sadness, happy, jealousy, joy. Later I might refine them more into more sophisticated ones like frustration. So now I'm programming/painting/sculpting this raw emotional energy into patterns that best represent myself around these emotional "archetypes" (as I can best think of).

Love and Light,

-Gemini Wolf