Caring/Compassion/Sensitivity/Tact vs Lying/Faking

[Bring4th_Austin]

Here's what I would say:

"Sorry you feel that way, I don't hate you, I feel warmly toward you. I hope you reconsider quitting the forum. When I made my comment I was presenting my own opinion about what you said and I didn't mean to insult you or batter you. What do you think about that? What part of what I said seemed hateful to you?"

So, I definitely believe in sticking by my opinions, but I don't think this requires being mean. I'd do my best to clear up any misunderstandings and to let you know that I don't hate you. If my attempts didn't work then I'd just say oh well and move on.

It's true that sometimes people are just going to be offended and it's entirely because of their own distortions and there's nothing people can do about it. I just don't think this is the case with unity. I think he could explain himself better and communicate more effectively so that people would be less offended and there would be fewer misunderstandings.

For the record, I absolutely agree that hiding your opinions/view/truths or lying about them is bad practice. I believe in tact, not lying.

All well and good, and that method seems to be a good way to prevent "unwanted" catalyst in another person, but perhaps now you see my point? You said:

The only part of communication that matters is how it is perceived.

Communication is not JUST about perception. If the only thing that mattered in communication were perception, then the fact that you didn't intend to insult me would mean nothing. The fact that I was insulted would be the only thing that mattered, and you would be a dastardly insulter.