12-10-2011, 06:00 PM
(12-10-2011, 10:04 AM)Tenet Nosce Wrote: Anyway, this has been happening every year starting at the beginning of August (his birthday) like clockwork, and proceeds until the end of the year. Every year I try to use this as catalyst for coming to a state of forgiveness and compassion for this individual within myself. And yet it persists.
I really don't know what else I am supposed to "get" from this catalyst. Other than to possibly just accept that I am going to be hearing from this individual periodically and that he will be psychotically stalking me for the rest of his (or my) life.
If I may, I would like to offer my opinion.
It may be that you aren't supposed to get anything else at all. He is still having a problem, which is his problem.
It could just be a simple matter of setting boundaries (without emotions involved such as resentment or anger or anything unresolved). You have gotten what you needed from the situation, and in order to not be attached to what he is perpetuating, you set the boundary that you won't enable him by talking with him, and also won't allow his energy into your life, by not talking with him.
I don't know how you go about setting up the boundary--it might involve your family and getting them to agree to respect your wishes and privacy. They don't have to lie or hide you, just tell the truth: you don't wish at this time to communicate with him and wish him well, and they do not give out your phone number. For that matter, if he calls you again you could tell him that, then change your number.