I perceive myself to be an old soul, and a 6th density wanderer. I'm only 23 years old, but I feel coming into this life I knew it would be a great challenge for me. I'm very tired of the lessons here, and the superficiality of our civilization. There are many good people here, don't get me wrong, but I feel, as it was mentioned in one my other threads, that we spiritually-aware, or awakened people, are spread out so far to serve as anchors of light for those who are lost in this darkness.
But, perhaps all of this grief just adds on to what I've been observing. I'm a very healthy person, 5'8" 130lbs, very light, ya know, but I feel my body can sometimes hardly carry itself. I'm very quick on my feet, but my left knee cracks nearly always when it's bent vertically; my right knee will crack some of the time when it is pivoted horizontally. My wrist has recently started cracking when shaking someones hand. My back is weak. I can sit up straight, but I've always been known to slouch no matter how hard I try and focus on keeping it straight. I can barely do crunches without my feet being held down by something. It's hard for me to meditate with my spine straight, unless I'm in a chair, and it's virtually impossible for me to get into the lotus position. And when I close my eyes in a position I'm comfortable in, I feel lopsided. Like there is more of "me" on the left side of my body, or that my spine is not perfectly between the two halves of me.
I need light energy to focus, get excited, be motivated, be proactive, be creative, be fun, smile, and enjoy life here. I've recently started sungazing, and the first time I did it, I could feel it altering my body. My brain, my nose, my throat, my chest, my stomach, I could feel changing or altering its vibration. I very much enjoy those feelings, and the fact that it came from something so beautiful and natural and right in front of us! Like a source I could see.
LoL I just thought it was funny. My spirit wants to accomplish so much here, but all this negativity and the circumstances in my life makes me feel so lazy in this chemical-body. It's a healthy body, but it's so heavy! I feel like I can only do so much with it. Bah!
I wish I could just turn on the fan with my mind instead of walking to the other side of the room! hahaha
Can anybody else sympathize with this? I wish I met more people like ya'll around where I live. I could use good company during this struggle of mine. But we are where we are for a reason!
But, perhaps all of this grief just adds on to what I've been observing. I'm a very healthy person, 5'8" 130lbs, very light, ya know, but I feel my body can sometimes hardly carry itself. I'm very quick on my feet, but my left knee cracks nearly always when it's bent vertically; my right knee will crack some of the time when it is pivoted horizontally. My wrist has recently started cracking when shaking someones hand. My back is weak. I can sit up straight, but I've always been known to slouch no matter how hard I try and focus on keeping it straight. I can barely do crunches without my feet being held down by something. It's hard for me to meditate with my spine straight, unless I'm in a chair, and it's virtually impossible for me to get into the lotus position. And when I close my eyes in a position I'm comfortable in, I feel lopsided. Like there is more of "me" on the left side of my body, or that my spine is not perfectly between the two halves of me.
I need light energy to focus, get excited, be motivated, be proactive, be creative, be fun, smile, and enjoy life here. I've recently started sungazing, and the first time I did it, I could feel it altering my body. My brain, my nose, my throat, my chest, my stomach, I could feel changing or altering its vibration. I very much enjoy those feelings, and the fact that it came from something so beautiful and natural and right in front of us! Like a source I could see.
LoL I just thought it was funny. My spirit wants to accomplish so much here, but all this negativity and the circumstances in my life makes me feel so lazy in this chemical-body. It's a healthy body, but it's so heavy! I feel like I can only do so much with it. Bah!
I wish I could just turn on the fan with my mind instead of walking to the other side of the room! hahahaCan anybody else sympathize with this? I wish I met more people like ya'll around where I live. I could use good company during this struggle of mine. But we are where we are for a reason!
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