12-11-2009, 06:19 PM
Themes...lessons...ups and downs...repeating over and over and over and...
I find it hard to care anymore...about anything. I feel emotions come over me when I am reminded of some past events and people, let the emotion wash over and through me, and do not care to fully understand what happened. I no longer care about the concept of progression...of soul growth. I no longer care about any of the beauty or positive things I see in my life, nor am I shaken or fearful of the negative. This life, is very tiring...
...and I'm beginning to not care about the fact that I'm tired of it all.
Detachment? Apathy?
I don't think either of those words are completely accurate. I'm observing...watching every moment. I am pulled and pushed with every emotion, every event and every person I come across...sometimes roughly, sometimes gently...sometimes lovingly, sometimes with spite. All I can do is watch how everything plays out...
...and I'm not sure I care about seeing how it all plays out.
I am, disinterested...with who and what I am, and with what everything is all about.
I am at peace.
(this is presented as contemplative WD-40 for the gears that grind in your head. I do not desire any advice or cheering up..and if you think I do, you've missed the point of what I wrote above. Godspeed!)
I find it hard to care anymore...about anything. I feel emotions come over me when I am reminded of some past events and people, let the emotion wash over and through me, and do not care to fully understand what happened. I no longer care about the concept of progression...of soul growth. I no longer care about any of the beauty or positive things I see in my life, nor am I shaken or fearful of the negative. This life, is very tiring...
...and I'm beginning to not care about the fact that I'm tired of it all.
Detachment? Apathy?
I don't think either of those words are completely accurate. I'm observing...watching every moment. I am pulled and pushed with every emotion, every event and every person I come across...sometimes roughly, sometimes gently...sometimes lovingly, sometimes with spite. All I can do is watch how everything plays out...
...and I'm not sure I care about seeing how it all plays out.
I am, disinterested...with who and what I am, and with what everything is all about.
I am at peace.
(this is presented as contemplative WD-40 for the gears that grind in your head. I do not desire any advice or cheering up..and if you think I do, you've missed the point of what I wrote above. Godspeed!)