Wisdom Vital To Evolution

[abstrktion]

(side note: Unfortunately, sometimes we even make those we love dishonest when they fear to hurt us. Blue-ray can't occur when we are manipulating through fear and making sure people only tell us what we want to hear--sometimes we make others lie to spare us pain because we cannot face Truth that we very often know inside anyways. I'd say men use their anger to manipulate and women very often use their tears.)

I'm interested in this side note. You say that blue-ray can't occur when we are manipulating through fear, etc. But that begs the question of whether green-ray can occur under these circumstances.

You also say that "dishonesty comes from fear." What kind of distinctions, if any, would you make between lack of honesty and what you are calling 'dishonesty'?

In the side note, I was thinking that the one manipulating was clearly out of green; but the other might be in green, but would lie to avoid hurting the one doing the manipulating through emotion. The lie/denial would pull that one out of blue.

Lack of honesty might mean simply not saying anything.
Dishonesty would be a choice to deliberately tell a lie--this dishonesty might actually come from a place of deep love for the other person or it could come from fear of the rejection/anger of the other person.

A couple situations...

1) Child lies to a parent to avoid getting in trouble. (fear)
2) Child decides not to tell the parent something that would upset the parent because the parent already has enough on his/her plate and the child is sensitive to the parent. (love)

One spouse questions the other about the other's feelings for a third party.
1) The spouse being questioned lies/denies to avoid trouble and maintain the status quo. (fear)
2) The spouse knows that his/her true feelings would make the other spouse sad and uncomfortable; s/he lies/denies to avoid causing the spouse pain. (love).

1) A homosexual child tells his/her parent that s/he's straight to avoid a family blowout. (fear)
2) A homosexual child chooses not to reveal his/her sexuality because s/he knows it would upset an elderly relative who wouldn't understand anyway. (love)
3) A homosexual child so wishes not to cause pain to beloved parents that s/he tries to deny to him/herself actually being homosexual (can't be in blue and in denial about self, IMO)

I don't have really firm opinions on this, so please elaborate on your own. I'm trying to understand blue-ray directness and honesty, both with self and others, so your ideas would be very welcome.