(01-23-2009, 11:26 PM)irpsit Wrote: If you feel you have a good relationship, that is has quite a strong service to others component, then you would of course, following your heart STO energy to not be positive to contemplate a break-up in that relationship, since that would probably be more self-oriented than oriented to the share of joys and tears that the relationship would have..
Am I somewhat correct?
I am speaking of situations where it did not occur any stagnation and where any conflict is small and short-lived.
I think this is critical when we are parenting kids.
The ideal would be to have some extended family, which is my utopian ideal of a future STO community/society.
Hi irpsit!
I know that Ra has stated that any 2 people in a relationship have the potential for experiencing wonderful growth...so that is always an option. Ra also stated that, ideally, the relationship is based on the mutual desire to be together...it is an association entered into by the free will of the participants.
I had a friend who had 2 children by 2 different husbands, and both men wanted her back. She was having a tough time deciding; she loved both of them but in different ways. She was concerned that she might make the 'wrong' decision karmically. I told her that she could learn and grow either way...it would just be in a different way depending on which man she picked. Whatever she didn't learn this time around, could be learned another time. But either choice could result in fruitful growth if both parties decided to give it their all.
I don't recall Ra/Q'uo ever putting any kind of judgment on people's personal decisions about whether to continue or end a relationship, but being that so much importance is placed on honoring the free will of other-selves, I would surmise that an important factor in making the decision to stay together or end the relationship would be: Do BOTH parties harmonize with the decision? Is the decision based on honoring the free will of the other-self? (as opposed to an STS arrangement in which one person is controlling or abusing the other.)
If both parties are in agreement that it's just time to move apart, that would not necessarily be a selfish decision - it might very well be a loving and considerate decision.
In other words, it's not whether to stay or break up that determines whether it's selfish or loving, but whether BOTH people harmonize in the decision. Both people might feel it is best for both to either stay together or separate...whereas, in a STS-oriented relationship, one is dominating the other...in that case, certainly the STO person has the right to leave such a relationship. But you specified an STO-based relationship...in that case, I think the important issue is whether BOTH people are served by the decision. If one person wants to leave and the other not...then...I would suggest going within and asking what it is that they are uncomfortable with...what catalyst is making them want to leave? Or, maybe the other person feels the same way and just isn't communicating it. I had another friend who was unhappy in her marriage, and when she finally communicated her feelings to her husband, he told her he was sooo relieved...he felt the same way but didn't want to hurt her. So they parted ways but remained good friends...in their case, it was for the best for both of them.
As with all important decisions, only you can know what is best for you, by seeking guidance within. We can offer ideas and suggestions, that you might wish to consider. I don't know if I am remotely addressing your question...if not, just discard.
(01-12-2009, 03:01 PM)3D Sunset Wrote: Thank you, DreamingPeace, for starting the thread and, thanks for all the posts thus far.
You are quite welcome! And thank you for sharing!
(01-12-2009, 03:01 PM)3D Sunset Wrote: As the father of three children ages 12, 9, and 7 and I have been very interested in this question and actaully started a thread on the DivineCosmos Law of One forum to discuss the subject as well.
I have mentioned the Law of One by name and the main concepts to my kids (my wife also reads LOO but less so than me, she is more attuned to Yogananda/Roy Eugine Davis and SRF/CSA). I try to present the concepts in a moment where they apply, on a one-on-one basis, and I present them as a philosophy of life, not the philosophy.
Wow, what lucky children you have! A dad into the LOO and a mom into Yogananda/SRF!
(01-12-2009, 03:01 PM)3D Sunset Wrote: Fundamentally, I focus on the Golden Rule with the added perspective that, according to some philosophies, when you do unto others you actually are doing unto yourself. Although that resulted in some perplexed looks the first times I said it, they now at least understand the concept.
Can't get any better than the Golden Rule!
(01-12-2009, 03:01 PM)3D Sunset Wrote: Probably the only TV we watch is Ghost Whisperer on Friday nights. This is a great vehicle to exploring many concepts related to death, dying and the purpose of life. It also provides my wife and me an opportunity to discuss our thoughts on how this life fits in to the bigger picture of spiritual evolution.
I've never seen Ghost Whisperer (we don't have cable), but when our son was 8, we introduced Star Trek Next Generation. We had kept him away from all violence up until that point (not even violent cartoons!) but age 8 seemed a good time to introduce ST. The violence was minimal, and each episode dealt with some heavy-duty concepts like free will, the Prime Directive (straight out of the LOO!), and all sorts of ethical dilemmas. Since we homeschooled, I used to say, "Star Trek is our character-building curriculum."
(01-12-2009, 03:01 PM)3D Sunset Wrote: Ultimately, what we try to do is present them with ideas from many religions and philosophies to allow them a foundation on which to build their own belief structures and to see how all religions have many of the same beliefs. We think that it is important that, as parents, we give them this freedom to choose their path and think things through for themsleves, thus maintaining their free will, but still giving them a framework in which to think and evolve.
I agree! That is exactly what we did! My husband read Autobiography of a Yogi to him, I taught him about reincarnation, crystal healing, and all sorts of other stuff, I took him to Christian churches on some Sundays and New Age/Pagan gatherings on others, and we enrolled him in a Christian homeschool co-op...which worked out great until he started asking too many questions. =( But overall, I think he got a pretty eclectic exposure to different styles of spirituality.
My only regret is that I didn't emphasis meditation enough. If I had to do it over again, I would have made it a daily practice. We had our little rituals and prayers, and always had a prayer and some OMing at bedtime, but I didn't really convey the importance of meditation...it was difficult to do with a child whose mind is racing and is excited about playing with his new radio-controlled car tomorrow...and I thought when he was a teenager, it would be easier...but of course by then they have other interests!
I also regret not being more diligent about working with him on his dreams. Again, the hustle and bustle of our lives made that difficult. If I had to do it over again, I would make those practices more important.
And now I have a question for you, 3D, and any other parent:
How do you balance honoring their free will with necessary discipline? I never did figure that one out!