12-25-2009, 11:39 PM
Hi Ahktu. Thank you for keeping your discussion from including explicit material.
I can't stand pain. I try to avoid it in my own life and to help others to not have to suffer it. Therefore I cannot relate to the masochism content of your experiences.
I also cannot comprehend the contradiction between the masochism descriptions and the theory that they have something to do with empathy. That seems to me to be a dead end theory, but I believe you have a better one already.
That sounds very much like the core definition of an addiction: behavior that is clearly harmful to self and others, yet is compulsively repeated in an effort to find control over or relief from certain emotional states.
From these descriptions is does indeed sound like you've accurately identified the fundamental issue as one of power, rather than of pain.
At work and then again at home, you must take a position of power and control because others abdicate reasonable responsibility. You go from being out of control - forced to be the boss - to being out of control - forced to be the servant.
Another adult at home should be able to clean the fridge and restock appropriate food on at least a weekly basis. This is a reasonable expectation for any housemate who is a teenager or older.
At work, you are also in a position of dominant control that seems to be uncomfortable for you.
You are forced to take the lead as the dominant role. Therefore, to try to relieve the stress of this imbalance, you then seek to be forced to take the submissive role.
Interesting that you married someone else who also feels that a life is outside the control of the one living that life.
What do you think could be a healthier balance of orange ray energy? This chakra is not only about control in terms of hierarchy, but also about creativity, joy, and love. Do you like living in your service-to-self hierarchy, at both home and work, in which you either dominate or are dominated? Would you prefer to live a nonhierarchical life in which those who are equipped to lead do so, as a shared joy rather than an imposed demand?
Yes.
As you see from the variety of responses, you came to the right place.
I can't stand pain. I try to avoid it in my own life and to help others to not have to suffer it. Therefore I cannot relate to the masochism content of your experiences.
I also cannot comprehend the contradiction between the masochism descriptions and the theory that they have something to do with empathy. That seems to me to be a dead end theory, but I believe you have a better one already.
Quote:at times the need to feel it has caused a nearly insatiable craving.... it seemed like I’d entered an altered state of consciousness
That sounds very much like the core definition of an addiction: behavior that is clearly harmful to self and others, yet is compulsively repeated in an effort to find control over or relief from certain emotional states.
Quote:I don’t need it to enjoy sex
From these descriptions is does indeed sound like you've accurately identified the fundamental issue as one of power, rather than of pain.
At work and then again at home, you must take a position of power and control because others abdicate reasonable responsibility. You go from being out of control - forced to be the boss - to being out of control - forced to be the servant.
Another adult at home should be able to clean the fridge and restock appropriate food on at least a weekly basis. This is a reasonable expectation for any housemate who is a teenager or older.
At work, you are also in a position of dominant control that seems to be uncomfortable for you.
You are forced to take the lead as the dominant role. Therefore, to try to relieve the stress of this imbalance, you then seek to be forced to take the submissive role.
Interesting that you married someone else who also feels that a life is outside the control of the one living that life.
What do you think could be a healthier balance of orange ray energy? This chakra is not only about control in terms of hierarchy, but also about creativity, joy, and love. Do you like living in your service-to-self hierarchy, at both home and work, in which you either dominate or are dominated? Would you prefer to live a nonhierarchical life in which those who are equipped to lead do so, as a shared joy rather than an imposed demand?
Quote:Do you think this behavior could do serious spiritual damage
Yes.
Quote:any serious input would be appreciated
As you see from the variety of responses, you came to the right place.