Parenting and the LOO

[3D Sunset]

How do you balance honoring their free will with necessary discipline? I never did figure that one out!

Hi DreamingPeace,

Great question! I've referred to this quote from Ra several times.

The Law of One, Book II, Session 42
Questioner: Using the teach/learning relationship of parent to child, what
type of actions would demonstrate the activation of the energy centers in sequence from red to violet?

Ra: I am Ra. The entity, child or adult, as you call it, is not an instrument to be played. The appropriate teach/learning device of parent to child is the open-hearted being-ness of the parent and the total acceptance of the beingness of the child. This will encompass whatever material the child entity has brought into the life experience in this plane. There are two things especially important in this relationship other than the basic acceptance of the child by the parent. Firstly, the experience of whatever means the parent uses to worship and give thanksgiving to the one infinite Creator, should if possible be shared with the child entity upon a daily basis, as you would say. Secondly, the compassion of parent to child may well be tempered by the understanding that the child entity shall learn the biases of service-to-others or service-to-self from the parental other-self. This is the reason that some discipline is appropriate in the teach/learning. This does not apply to the activation of any one energy center for each entity is unique and each relationship with self and other-self doubly unique. The guidelines given are only general for this reason.

In typical Ra fashion, he has used the term "discipline" ambiguously! Does he mean "discipline" in the sense you mean, or disciplined teach/learning on the parent's part. Ah well, my answer to your question is the same regardless. So what do I do? In my idyllic vision, it goes something like this:

When my child has transgressed in whatever way and for whatever reason, I first ask for their perspective on the situation. I make sure that they have a chance to have to have their say, and I listen to everything they say. I then review with them why what they did was wrong, and why they knew (or should have known) that it was. I next ask them if they agree that they transgressed. In time, we work through this and either we agree that there was indeed no transgression and I was mistaken (rare, but it has happened), or that they did indeed transgress in which case we discuss and mutually agree on the appropriate discipline.

The more crude, real-world version is usually more like this:

My wife or I identify the transgression. Presumed guilty kid yells at us and runs to their room (backyard, dollhouse, etc.). Everyone calms down, we coax presumed presumed guilty kid into whatever room we are in. Everyone has their say about what happened (usually some amount of yelling is involved on kids part, occasionally on ours too). We discuss why what happened was wrong. Kid disagrees and feel persecuted. We work on it. Kid usually acquiesces, probably in order to just have this experience end, but it helps us feel better as parents to hear them say so, even if they don't really believe it. We ask what appropriate punishment would be. Eventually everyone agrees that "letting this one pass" won't allow us to fell good about ourselves as parents. Converge on a consensus, hug and part friends until the next such altercation.

Or something like that. Does this resonate with you?

3D Sunset