06-09-2012, 04:47 PM
Before I tell my story, perhaps an introduction is in order. My name is Michael, and I've been observing these forums for awhile, taking what I needed from the posts of all the beautiful souls which post them here. I decided its time to contribute to the very bright and inspiring aura I feel when I visit this forum.
My story of awakening begins, as with SO many, with a venture into the conspiracy aspect of the world. It began when my ex showed me a video by the wonderful Peter Joseph, "Zeitgeist". At the end, I wasn't really surprised, as it made sense to me from what I had already experienced in life. What did surprise me, was when I found out how deep the rabbit hole goes: Monsanto, base on mars, human made UFOs, propaganda.
However, even though it surprised me, I was never fearful of it. In fact, my whole life I've always had this feeling inside of me, as if everything is going to be all right. I've always just known that this world we perceive is vastly more complex then we could ever imagine. I've sat down many a night and told myself that if this life is indeed all there is in the universe, if all of creation arranged itself like this just so that I can get a job I hate, buy a house I don't need and squirt out a baby or 2, then I should just end it right now because that's not the universe I want to be a part of. Regardless, in these dark hours there was always a reassuring deep within my soul, a warmness, that always reminded me that indeed the universe is infinitely complex.
My next stop was cannabis. I began smoking after years of pondering the conspiracy theories (read, facts), realizing when I was a senior in college that nobody will tell me what I can and cannot do with my own time. Cannabis allowed me to have an open mind, and additionally the free time to sit down and watch a documentary. I usually watch solely documentaries when smoking. Also, later in life I discovered the art of using cannabis in conjunction with meditation, allowing this mystical plant to take me on the journey it wished to.
One night me and a friend were having a very deep conversation after we had smoked. At one point, my friend © had a bit of a revelation. So big in fact, he couldn't really convey it to me. He essentially described a portion of the Ra material. Neither of us had EVER even heard of the LOO. He asked me to imagine I was an infinite being and through infinity had discovered all forms of knowledge. What was there left to do? He said that the creator, having known everything there is to know, needed something. Therefore, he split himself up into infinitely many parts so that he could have infinitely many experiences of knowing himself. He could know what it feels like to lose someone, what it feels like to be a couch resting on the floor, or what it feels like to be an atom of Cesium in the center of a star going supernova.
Needless to say, my friend was blowing my mind. I didn't believe a word of it, and acted a devils advocate countering with "scientific" knowledge. Even so, he always defended it and held the idea ever tighter even as I challenged his belief. Soon after I got home, I watched a documentary and oddly enough David Wilcocks 2012 movie was somehow in my watch later playlist on YouTube. So I checked it out, and 3 days later I had read all of the Ra material and my entire world was in harmony. I can't really explain how I felt while reading the Ra material, other than a deep connection to it. Almost as if I was remembering it rather then reading it.
A year later, and now I've just graduated college and have never been more at peace in life. I finally understand why I've always had trouble as a child. I've never had that many friends, but the few I have had have been very dear to me. The concept of homelessness never made sense to me. Ive always felt I am here to give everything for other people. After all, if we live in infinity, Why does it matter what car we drive in this world?
Now I know, whatever I am doing, the important thing is I am always BEing. No matter what I am doing, I now understand it is exactly what I should be doing. I try to live life now as a beacon of light to remind others of the light within themselves. As long as I can be happy and in tune with the allness that is oneness, I am doing what I came here to do.
Even so, I still have some questions. I recently graduated with a degree in Mechanical Engineering. Now though, I realize that's not what I want to do. I always wanted to help people with science to make their lives easier, but now I realize I want to help people with love to make their lives fuller. And when I consider that people have already invented the energy to take ships to other star systems in mere hours, it's obvious the worlds problems are being caused on purpose. Also, I frequently feel as if I'm too late, as the Harvest is near.
I feel a desire to move. I feel a connection to the Colorado area, but I'm not sure why. Where I live, I feel like I have to guard my beliefs. Many people when they hear these conspiracy and UFO talk and LOO talk, they feel like it's their responsibility to keep this information down and judge it. So I feel like I have to protect my beliefs and not make them known to everyone. I feel as if I am surrounded by people who neither understand nor care too. I love them all, every single one of them, anyway; however, It's frustrating to know so much about the way the world is (beliefs and facts) and see soo many people stumbling in darkness.
I KNOW I'm not alone. It would be impossible for me to ever be alone. I frequently meditate on the togetherness of everything and am always brought to tears by the love I feel from everything, even myself. Nevertheless, it is so easy for me to forget sometimes and feel soo alone. I feel like I want people around me with similar ideas, but then who would I be helping?...
Now I am at a point where the last 6 years in school have brought me debt along with outdated engineering knowledge from the 40s. Funny aside, the first day I begin paying my student loans back is on December 21, 2012. Guess I won't ever have to pay those back
(maybe...)
There isn't really anything I want for myself anymore. I know I have everything. I guess if I could have anything it would be a small piece of land for a small community where we would grow our own everything and spend time together in love.
I don't know if I am a wanderer, but I am awake finally. This was/is my story. As always, take what you need and leave the rest behind. Please offer any guidance you feel inclined to. I desire your comments.
My story of awakening begins, as with SO many, with a venture into the conspiracy aspect of the world. It began when my ex showed me a video by the wonderful Peter Joseph, "Zeitgeist". At the end, I wasn't really surprised, as it made sense to me from what I had already experienced in life. What did surprise me, was when I found out how deep the rabbit hole goes: Monsanto, base on mars, human made UFOs, propaganda.
However, even though it surprised me, I was never fearful of it. In fact, my whole life I've always had this feeling inside of me, as if everything is going to be all right. I've always just known that this world we perceive is vastly more complex then we could ever imagine. I've sat down many a night and told myself that if this life is indeed all there is in the universe, if all of creation arranged itself like this just so that I can get a job I hate, buy a house I don't need and squirt out a baby or 2, then I should just end it right now because that's not the universe I want to be a part of. Regardless, in these dark hours there was always a reassuring deep within my soul, a warmness, that always reminded me that indeed the universe is infinitely complex.
My next stop was cannabis. I began smoking after years of pondering the conspiracy theories (read, facts), realizing when I was a senior in college that nobody will tell me what I can and cannot do with my own time. Cannabis allowed me to have an open mind, and additionally the free time to sit down and watch a documentary. I usually watch solely documentaries when smoking. Also, later in life I discovered the art of using cannabis in conjunction with meditation, allowing this mystical plant to take me on the journey it wished to.
One night me and a friend were having a very deep conversation after we had smoked. At one point, my friend © had a bit of a revelation. So big in fact, he couldn't really convey it to me. He essentially described a portion of the Ra material. Neither of us had EVER even heard of the LOO. He asked me to imagine I was an infinite being and through infinity had discovered all forms of knowledge. What was there left to do? He said that the creator, having known everything there is to know, needed something. Therefore, he split himself up into infinitely many parts so that he could have infinitely many experiences of knowing himself. He could know what it feels like to lose someone, what it feels like to be a couch resting on the floor, or what it feels like to be an atom of Cesium in the center of a star going supernova.
Needless to say, my friend was blowing my mind. I didn't believe a word of it, and acted a devils advocate countering with "scientific" knowledge. Even so, he always defended it and held the idea ever tighter even as I challenged his belief. Soon after I got home, I watched a documentary and oddly enough David Wilcocks 2012 movie was somehow in my watch later playlist on YouTube. So I checked it out, and 3 days later I had read all of the Ra material and my entire world was in harmony. I can't really explain how I felt while reading the Ra material, other than a deep connection to it. Almost as if I was remembering it rather then reading it.
A year later, and now I've just graduated college and have never been more at peace in life. I finally understand why I've always had trouble as a child. I've never had that many friends, but the few I have had have been very dear to me. The concept of homelessness never made sense to me. Ive always felt I am here to give everything for other people. After all, if we live in infinity, Why does it matter what car we drive in this world?
Now I know, whatever I am doing, the important thing is I am always BEing. No matter what I am doing, I now understand it is exactly what I should be doing. I try to live life now as a beacon of light to remind others of the light within themselves. As long as I can be happy and in tune with the allness that is oneness, I am doing what I came here to do.
Even so, I still have some questions. I recently graduated with a degree in Mechanical Engineering. Now though, I realize that's not what I want to do. I always wanted to help people with science to make their lives easier, but now I realize I want to help people with love to make their lives fuller. And when I consider that people have already invented the energy to take ships to other star systems in mere hours, it's obvious the worlds problems are being caused on purpose. Also, I frequently feel as if I'm too late, as the Harvest is near.
I feel a desire to move. I feel a connection to the Colorado area, but I'm not sure why. Where I live, I feel like I have to guard my beliefs. Many people when they hear these conspiracy and UFO talk and LOO talk, they feel like it's their responsibility to keep this information down and judge it. So I feel like I have to protect my beliefs and not make them known to everyone. I feel as if I am surrounded by people who neither understand nor care too. I love them all, every single one of them, anyway; however, It's frustrating to know so much about the way the world is (beliefs and facts) and see soo many people stumbling in darkness.
I KNOW I'm not alone. It would be impossible for me to ever be alone. I frequently meditate on the togetherness of everything and am always brought to tears by the love I feel from everything, even myself. Nevertheless, it is so easy for me to forget sometimes and feel soo alone. I feel like I want people around me with similar ideas, but then who would I be helping?...
Now I am at a point where the last 6 years in school have brought me debt along with outdated engineering knowledge from the 40s. Funny aside, the first day I begin paying my student loans back is on December 21, 2012. Guess I won't ever have to pay those back
(maybe...)There isn't really anything I want for myself anymore. I know I have everything. I guess if I could have anything it would be a small piece of land for a small community where we would grow our own everything and spend time together in love.
I don't know if I am a wanderer, but I am awake finally. This was/is my story. As always, take what you need and leave the rest behind. Please offer any guidance you feel inclined to. I desire your comments.
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