Making Sense of Obstacles (Catalyst)

[Lorna]

I go to my higher self for a lot of advice. So I asked him/her if I should do it, and the answer i recieved was "Not yet". Not a "not yet" as in "you will live to a ripe old age Jacob" it was a "you can do it, but you have some stuff to do first".

isn't it great how free will so often gets in the way of a clear answer

can i ask why you think that your time here might be short airwaves? from time to time i have thought similarly - not suicidally - but that i may not live a full lifespan. fairly recently i came to the realisation that those periods usually coincided with times when i was physically / emotionally not taking care of myself as i should, and this way of thinking was revealing of a deep seated fear of myself being to 'blame' for potentially shortening the lifespan of this 3d vehicle in which i inhabit. these thoughts still come now and again but they are not so dark.

it may be worth exploring whether there is any pattern to your thoughts about having a shorter than normal lifespan, it may help you get to the root of it all.

you mention being a smoker - do you want to continue smoking? i really thought i did, i felt emotionally dependent rather than chemically dependent on ciggies, till i read one of allen carr's easy way books. if packing that in was something you've considered i'd definitely recommend his books.