Advice please...

[Sagittarius]

Hello,

I have a problem and I just couldn't find a solution so it occured to me to ask you lovely people.

Ok so we had our yearly perfomance meetings last week and mine was awful. I got ripped to shreds. According to my manager I'm weird and talk about topics people cannot contribute towards, I'm in the wrong job, I'm pretty shite at what I do, I'm a loner and snob and a whole lot of other things which made me very depressed, and I was a complete mess with tears running down my face.

There were some blatant lies in there as well which I disputed but I was told it would remain on the record.

Frankly alot of it was complete fabrication and just plain aggressive. There are various reasons they did this , but mostly I believe it's because they think I'm a snob and that I ignore them and feel I'm better than them. Introverts are often mistaken for snobs and I've been called a snob many times when people have misinterpreted my shyness. Over the weekend I repeated "I love myself unconditionally" at every waking moment to attempt to neutralise the negative judgement thrown at me.

I just can't understand this sort of bullying behaviour.

So now I've come in and my managers manager has sent me a request to rate/judge my managers performance including their sensitivity and empathy and understanding of staff.

As I didn't want anyone else to feel as horrible as I did, and I don't think we should be 'judged' by anyone else, I just went through and gave them top marks for each. Then I realised I was lying. But I want to forgive and be compassionate....

I'm confused. I can't pretend I have uncondtional love at the moment. I'm very hurt. But I don't want to hurt back...or judge....or lie.

What should I do as I really don't know...any advice would be good. You guys are amazing at throwing different perspectives on things. Thanks

Speak the truth.