Advice please...

[Brittany]

Being compassionate does not involve making a doormat out of yourself. To keep all your feelings inside and lie about how you feel is to shut down your blue ray, and it's also a great way to give yourself a tumor. You can love someone very much and still call them on their crap. It doesn't mean you have to respond in a hateful and aggressive way. Just be open and honest with how you feel. If you're not, you're denying love and understanding to a very important person- yourself.

I would suggest you get out there and start talking to people and let them see what you're really like, helping them to realize you're not quiet just because you think you're better than everyone. Yes, you might be uncomfortable doing so, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. Saying "I CAN'T talk to people" is self-defeating. If a guy that lost both his legs can learn to walk again, a shy person can learn to speak up from time to time...you just have to want it badly enough. Socializing DOES get easier with time and practice...it's something I've had to do myself, working with the public and all. You don't have to be a party animal, but try to put yourself behind the eyes of the other person. Not everyone is exceptionally empathetic and able to pick up on subtle social cues. What image ARE you putting out to these guys?

Last year at my job I got transferred to a different department, and my supervisor seemed to hate me for absolutely no reason. It was like she went out of her way to piss me off and make me feel bad. I actually ended up getting a second job, hoping to leave my first job entirely, just because of that woman. Then, lo and behold, I meet someone just like her at my second job. This girl who automatically has some huge beef with me when I didn't do anything at all to her. At that point I realized the catalyst was going to follow me wherever I went, so I went back to my first job and figured out what in this woman was a mirror of me. I was horribly surprised when I realized how much like her I was. I had been acting like a major b!tch and had been completely oblivious to my own behavior, so it was placed outside of me for me to look at. Once I finished the integration work, the behavior of that woman towards me changed completely and we became friends. It is actually quite shocking to me, how much I've seen the behaviors of others change when I viewed the mirror they offered me with honesty and humility. You can literally change the world around you in this way.