I love Peregrine's answer and his question at the end.
Your dream and the events before moved me. For many years I was very supportive of someone, one of my siblings got married to. This was a strong person with many qualities, generosity among others, but also easily roused with sudden bursts of anger sometimes, and demeaning words for others. For many years, because of my love for my sibling, I stayed very calm, and supportive of a behavior which was not always kind. I couldn't find a way to act differently through certainly lack of courage, but also fear of worsening effect for my sibling . I stopped behaving this way more than a decade ago. It brought me freedom, and in a way, it helped my sibling way more than what I was doing before. Curiously I still have much compassion for this person who has not changed a lot, but does also treat me better today than before.
I don't know if this relates or not to you, but reading what you wrote made me feel again how these jokes and behaviors can be so hurtful. It's a difficult way to tread between letting a thing go by, or acting against it. I was really moved by your post.
Your dream and the events before moved me. For many years I was very supportive of someone, one of my siblings got married to. This was a strong person with many qualities, generosity among others, but also easily roused with sudden bursts of anger sometimes, and demeaning words for others. For many years, because of my love for my sibling, I stayed very calm, and supportive of a behavior which was not always kind. I couldn't find a way to act differently through certainly lack of courage, but also fear of worsening effect for my sibling . I stopped behaving this way more than a decade ago. It brought me freedom, and in a way, it helped my sibling way more than what I was doing before. Curiously I still have much compassion for this person who has not changed a lot, but does also treat me better today than before.
I don't know if this relates or not to you, but reading what you wrote made me feel again how these jokes and behaviors can be so hurtful. It's a difficult way to tread between letting a thing go by, or acting against it. I was really moved by your post.