My father is a pedophile

[GreatSpirit]

It's an extremely sensitive issue which I haven't told many people, but my father is an unconvicted pedophile. It's been on my mind a lot now since I started talking to him again about 2 years ago after almost a year of hiatus.

He molested my sister from my mom's first marriage, which is the only confirmed molestation. He probably molested my older brother from his first marriage, which is why they left him and never spoke to him again. As far as I know, he didn't molest me or my older full blood brother. When he got remarried about 15 years ago, my step-sister was having a teenage fit and he said that she accused him of molesting my younger step-sister, who had to have been about 12 or 13 at the time. That really shocked me. My dad said he told my ex step-mother that he molested my sister. As for it being true, I do not know, but if he lied about it, then they would've never known and it would be probably true that he molested my step-sister as well.

But what REALLY forced me to re-examine his pedophile urges is that he likes to be around my step-brother's child who is a girl and he keeps a picture of her by his bedside. When he bought his computer, I found searches in his internet history like "nude underage girls" and I called him on it and he got all nervous.

He is mentally ill (bi-polar/pedophile/suicidal) and has the mentality of a 10 year old. He is a professional liar and user and is constantly in and out of mental hospitals to keep his disability checks. My older brother refuses to associate with him. The man has lived on disability for over 20 years, so he contributes nothing to society whatsoever and watches TV and eats all day in his apartment. He even had the audacity to get rid of his car so he could get all the cable TV channels and think he can have me give him rides to the food store/tobacco store every weekend. WRONG!!!! The man deserves to be in prison for the lives he's destroyed, and this is my own father! I only see a very dim light in him.

I don't even enjoy his company anymore because of the vibe I get from him. Thankfully, he is in bad health and smokes constantly so I know he only has a couple years left. Very VERY surprised he is still alive.

I have made a decision where I wish to not be in his presence any longer. I may consider phone conversations in the future. I was his only son that still gave a s*it about him and he has not changed, so I must leave him to his demise to die alone and reflect on his life.

In addition, besides the world as it is, HE is the main reason why I will never have children because its just unconscionable for me to bring a child into this hell hole of a world we live in, and now along with possible mental illness.

Thank you for listening.

[Monica]

Oh gosh, what a difficult situation to be in! Do you have reason to think he may still be molesting anyone? Have those whom he molested come forward to confront him? Maybe you could get together with all the victims and discuss the situation with them.

[Oceania]

noone does anything about him? he shouldn't be around any kids!!! wtf?

[Cyan]

Difficult catalyst this.

[Karl]

You could probably get him put in prison but that would probably cost the government/tax-payers more than his disability checks.

[BrownEye]

He probably does not understand why he does what he does.

His perspective may be very "different", rather than "evil".

Or he may not even have a valid perspective at times if he goes through occasional possession.

Either way, both the victim and the perpetrator are actors in a scene. Both parties have at one level agreed to this conduct for a form of experience. When these people do not have an expanded consciousness they are not aware of their higher level choices.

I have strong lower instincts, and would do serious damage to anyone that tried this with my family, regardless of my understanding.

[Monica]

If there is any chance he still has access to any victims, he must be stopped! Action must be taken! if he is now just an impotent old man, then you have more options. I think calling on all the past victims is the most logical next step. Simply avoiding him in your life won't help resolve anything for the other victims.

[Cyan]

Is there, in your mind, an area where you think you in anyway may be wrong and he may, in anyway be right.

If not then dont bother, your anger has clouded your eyes so much that no good will come out of it in any case.

[xise]

He probably was molested himself.

[Monica]

He probably was molested himself.

Most assuredly.

That reminds me...I just remembered that another member posted a similar thread awhile back...he was in a similar situation. Does anyone remember? Some of the comments and suggestions in that thread might be helpful here.

[Oceania]

what does him being on disablity have anything to do with this? dude's around a kid, that should be all anyone cares about. and since when did having a disability become a sin itself?

[xise]

When has disability not been a sin?

If I had a penny for every time a District Attorney or Judge referred to the fact that "the defendant is on disability" with sheer disgust in their voice (totally unrelated to the case except in terms of sentencing where it's only tangentially relevant to their contribution to soceity), I'd be a rich rich man.

But I think it was mentioned because this is apparently a case of disability fraud:

He is a professional liar and user and is constantly in and out of mental hospitals to keep his disability checks.

[GreatSpirit]

Thank you for all the comments I had a talk with my mom about this today and she mentioned that its a good idea that I talk with my step-sister and step-brother. I grilled her for not doing enough to stop him when she had the chance back in the 80s. The confirmed molestation of my older sister was like 1980 so it's too far in the past for the law to do anything about it now.

The thing is...he does still have access to my little step niece, and she's only around 7 or 8. My mom also thinks he never told my step-mom about his behavior either. But I have no proof that he molested other people and I'd feel like such an idiot if I was wrong but my intuition rarely fails me.

From a higher perspective, he would've known he had the potential to do such things, possibly knowing he would commit them. But that won't sit well with the law in the "real" world. He did do a lot of drugs and alcohol throughout his life so maybe he could have some evil energy attached to him because of that, as his old landlord suggested to me, which was totally awkward but makes complete sense.

All in all, my father is the epitome of "I did something bad and got away with it!"

I still need to think long and hard about this one.

[Oceania]

GreatSpirit, are you gonna speak to her parents? i'd do so asap. the longer this is undealt with the bigger the chance he's already done something. that kinda damage is hard to undo.

[BrownEye]

My mom also thinks he never told my step-mom about his behavior either. But I have no proof that he molested other people and I'd feel like such an idiot if I was wrong but my intuition rarely fails me.

Do we actually need proof to step up and speak our mind?

[xise]

My mom also thinks he never told my step-mom about his behavior either. But I have no proof that he molested other people and I'd feel like such an idiot if I was wrong but my intuition rarely fails me.

Do we actually need proof to step up and speak our mind?

If he has molested even one person, that's cause enough to tell someone who allows him access to children. I don't see how whether he molested more than one person is very important in your decision whether to warn the parents?

[Monica]

The thing is...he does still have access to my little step niece, and she's only around 7 or 8. My mom also thinks he never told my step-mom about his behavior either.

Then you must speak up. There's no other option. You have knowledge that could protect this child. Her parents must be notified immediately so that they can keep the child away from him.

But I have no proof that he molested other people and I'd feel like such an idiot if I was wrong but my intuition rarely fails me.

You don't need proof of any others. You said you have one confirmed case. That is enough. Actually, just finding out that he had been searching for kiddie porn on the internet is enough, even if he had never acted on it. Your step-niece should not be around someone who searches for kiddie porn. Her parents must be notified!

From a higher perspective, he would've known he had the potential to do such things, possibly knowing he would commit them. But that won't sit well with the law in the "real" world.

Knowing that we all have soul contracts on the higher levels just helps us understand these situations and helps us forgive ourselves and others. It doesn't negate the necessity of taking direct action, if we are in the position to do so.

Remember what Ra said about the proper response to a starving person? Feed them. Understanding that the starving person took on that catalyst doesn't absolve us of doing what we can to feed them.

Think of your great-niece as the starving person, and you have food. Your knowledge is the food. Feed her. Save her from a possible, or even probable, molestation.

He did do a lot of drugs and alcohol throughout his life so maybe he could have some evil energy attached to him because of that, as his old landlord suggested to me, which was totally awkward but makes complete sense.

That's all the more reason the child must be protected.

[Oceania]

yeah exactly, no thinking long and hard! you have to act right now like your niece is in a burning house. you don't stop to think there, you go in and get her to safety.

[BlatzAdict]

the roof the roof the roof is on fire

---

yeah exactly, no thinking long and hard! you have to act right now like your niece is in a burning house. you don't stop to think there, you go in and get her to safety.

that's what she said

[reeay]

The child's safety is priority.

You could also call a hotline to consult with someone.

National Sexual Assault hotline
1-800-656-4673
https://ohl.rainn.org/online/

Some resources here:
http://www.rainn.org/

Added:
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline (if there is suspected or imminent abuse)
1-800-422-4453
http://www.childhelp.org/pages/hotline-home

You could also call your local Child Welfare agency to talk to a social worker (anonymously) to see what may be done.

[GreatSpirit]

Working on it. I experienced a little synchronicity the other night while going to sleep thinking about what to do, and the TV in the background saying molester and I got up and watched the story about a molester getting caught from crimes like 20 years ago.

In my father's defense, I do think it is probable if he molested anyone else after my sister, he would've been caught. I mean he did live my step bros/sis' for like 10 years and no one said anything except when my step-sister was having that fit one time and accused him of molesting my youngest sister.

But my intuition is telling something else. I remember my mom threatened to call the authorities on him one time because he had some girl and her two kids, one being a small girl staying with him in his apartment awhile ago. He had them leave but who knows what happened.

[Aloneness]

I have some vague memories of my father which made me believe he is a pedophile. I'm so confused because I don't want to have a past like that, I don't want to have a past at all. I'd like to think of him as a caring father, especially now when my sister is still living with him. I'm not sure if he's a caring father to her, but I didn't really do anything about it while I was living with them, aside from just being there. It makes me feel horrible and I'm still uncertain if I should undertake some sort of action.

[ChickenInSpace]

I believe the most loving approach to this would be to forgive your father any and all weakness.

For him, it should be very fruitful to be shown that he can polarize fairly easily to service to others since pedophilia is quite connected to STS.

While emotionally roaring this all gives great chance to take a step back and work on ourselves as well as actors in the drama. I feel love for you and your father.

Hopefully this can give a bit of nuance to any debate.

[Hototo]

For him, it should be very fruitful to be shown that he can polarize fairly easily to service to others since pedophilia is quite connected to STS.

*sighs*

Are we still at this level? really?

*crosses fingers and hopes some other posters stop in and stop this charade before it spins out of control, again*



Edit: Do I need to change the plackard from Homosexuals to Pedophiles to drive the point across?

[Aloneness]

I believe the most loving approach to this would be to forgive your father any and all weakness.

For him, it should be very fruitful to be shown that he can polarize fairly easily to service to others since pedophilia is quite connected to STS.

While emotionally roaring this all gives great chance to take a step back and work on ourselves as well as actors in the drama. I feel love for you and your father.

Hopefully this can give a bit of nuance to any debate.

We haven't really talked about it directly but I've mentioned that I'd forgiven him, aswell as myself for what we've done to each other.
It's a rather delicate situation.. Thanks for your insightful feedback.

[volicon]

Do I need to change the plackard from Homosexuals to Pedophiles to drive the point across?

I don't think pedophilia is in the same rank with homosexuality, racism and religious oppression. Your race and your sexuality do not infringe upon others' free will. You religion may or may not do so. Pedophilia definitely does.

As to the OP, I think alarming the parent of the child in danger is the most urgent action to be taken. Any latency in doing so increases the risk of the child being molested.
After that, the past victims can be gathered to bring him to justice. His pedophilia can be a powerful catalyst for his spiritual growth if it is used to open his eyes to the consequences of his actions. If left untouched, the catalyst may turn into poison, leaving him unaware of the cost of the infringement of free will of others, meaning him being pushed down even further down into selfishness, or STS.

[GentleReckoning]

Hopefully our society decides that it's healthier to help people that have pedophilic tendencies to heal/deal with their distortions as opposed to deciding they are broken and should be ostracized.

[Hototo]

Hopefully our society decides that its healthier to help people that have STO tendencies to heal/deal with their distortions as opposed to deciding they are broken and should be controlled.

Prejudice works all ways.

[ChickenInSpace]

It is what it is. Use the opportunity to grow as we've learned to from so much else.

The comment about STS was in no way a try to villify something in respect to another but can see how it can be interpreted this way. I wanted to shed light on power which is what you can harvest from such desires and asserting yourself over a weaker individual.

Also, the connection is not absolute.

To be honest, there's no clear infringement on another persons free will in pedophilia. It's common in the cases of pedophilia acted upon but by no means law.

Consider the possibility of a child wanting to be in service and knowingly enter such an act. This would from the childs perspective be STO. Depending on the receptor of such an attitude the whole thing can be within STO framework.

These are more than uncommon but doesn't mean it never happens.

[Hototo]

It is what it is. Use the opportunity to grow as we've learned to from so much else.

The comment about STS was in no way a try to villify something in respect to another but can see how it can be interpreted this way. I wanted to shed light on power which is what you can harvest from such desires and asserting yourself over a weaker individual.

Also, the connection is not absolute.

To be honest, there's no clear infringement on another persons free will in pedophilia. It's common in the cases of pedophilia acted upon but by no means law.

Consider the possibility of a child wanting to be in service and knowingly enter such an act. This would from the childs perspective be STO. Depending on the receptor of such an attitude the whole thing can be within STO framework.

These are more than uncommon but doesn't mean it never happens.

Here is the simple deal:

If you say to two people that think they are able to make their own decisions that they do not have the right to express love for one another because it makes you uncomfortable. You're REALLY in need of help.

Logical question here is how do people define "a child".