Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies

[Monica]

Was she intentionally challenging those men, so that she could then find an excuse to criticize men? Or was she reveling in her own youth and beauty, oblivious to the effect she was having on men?

Wow, some old catalyst just jumped up at me. All these years, I assumed it was the former, and I could be right, but what if it was the the latter? That changes the equation dramatically. Thanks for the insight on intent!

I can speak from experience on this. When I was a teenager in the 70s, I wore short shorts and midriff-baring halter tops in the summer, as was the style. I thought nothing about it. I routinely walked downtown dressed like that.

When I was 16, my sister's husband tried to seduce me. I was shocked and refused him, of course, but it caused a family scandal. He blamed his actions on the way I dressed!

I honestly had no intention of teasing him. He was my sister's husband! I was comfortable at home, and though of him the way I thought of my brothers. It never, ever entered my mind that he would be attracted to me in that way, because I didn't think of him as someone I wanted to attract! I most definitely was trying to attract teenage boys, of course! But not married men in their 20s! (which was old to me at the time, ha.) And married men that were part of my family, no less!

I was obviously naive. Not about the feminine power - I was fully aware of that, as it related to the boys I was interested in - but I was naive about older men whom I thought were supposed to behave in a mature way.

Around that same time, another incident occurred that reinforced my coming-of-age enlightenment - my best friend's dad touched me inappropriately one day in the car when he was taking me home after I'd spent the night at my friend's house. This totally shocked me! This was a DAD!!! My own dad was old and sexless (or so I thought!) so having an encounter with a 'dirty old man' really did a number on my head!

I told my mom and she wouldn't let me spend the night there anymore. I never did tell my friend.

Anyway, I did nothing to warrant that. I dressed like all the other girls of my generation. I even remember what I was wearing that day, and it wasn't even anything skimpy.

[Monica]

just writing this out is already doing wonders for my mental state. I do not consider myself a changed man so much as a man on the road to change,

Somehow I missed this last couple of statements when I first read it...thanks so much for sharing, Eric!

[Lavazza]

Edit: edited

[Monica]

although according to some surveys, as many as 1 in 5 men suffer from porn addiction to some degree.

My guess is that it's actually much higher than that. My observation (though admittedly limited) is that men who don't engage in porn are the exception. I wonder how they defined addiction. It may be true that 1 in 5 are addicted, but I'd venture to say 4 out of 5 do it. Just a guess.

They're overwhelmingly Christian based, which I think is bad for two reasons.

I wonder how effective their approach is. I wonder if they even recognize it as an addiction, or do they just suppress it.

There are religion-neutral websites and forums however, although they are a minority.

Well, it's a start! Could you post 1 or 2 that seem good? Some on this forum might find them helpful.

That's the really scary thing about realizing that you have more than just a passing interest in porn viewing- like any other addiction it *can* spiral out of control to such an extent as to become extremely destructive to your every day life.

Can you elaborate?

someone recommended that the best way to take it off your mind is by replacing it with something. Take kick boxing classes at night, for example. Or find a creative outlet- do something that fills the void, basically. If you want to stop something like this, make sure you start something too.

Good advice!

---

although according to some surveys, as many as 1 in 5 men suffer from porn addiction to some degree.

My guess is that it's actually much higher than that. My observation (though admittedly limited) is that men who don't engage in porn are the exception. I wonder how they defined addiction. It may be true that 1 in 5 are addicted, but I'd venture to say 4 out of 5 do it. Just a guess.

They're overwhelmingly Christian based, which I think is bad for two reasons.

I wonder how effective their approach is. I wonder if they even recognize it as an addiction, or do they just suppress it.

There are religion-neutral websites and forums however, although they are a minority.

Well, it's a start! Could you post 1 or 2 that seem good? Some on this forum might find them helpful.

That's the really scary thing about realizing that you have more than just a passing interest in porn viewing- like any other addiction it *can* spiral out of control to such an extent as to become extremely destructive to your every day life.

Can you elaborate?

We've explored how a man's porn habits might be harmful and hurtful to his mate and thus to his relationship. But we've only touched ever so slightly on any harmful effects to a single man. We've mentioned that it might give the man unrealistic expectations of women and thus hurt future relationships (or even the ability to get involved in a relationship at all). But, if someone is to make a decision to let go of an addiction, first they must recognize that it is an addiction, which implies that it is harmful in some way. We all know the pitfalls of drug addiction. We all know that addiction to cigarettes can cause lung cancer. What are the pitfalls of porn addiction? In what way is it destructive to a man regardless of whether he's in a relationship or not?

someone recommended that the best way to take it off your mind is by replacing it with something. Take kick boxing classes at night, for example. Or find a creative outlet- do something that fills the void, basically. If you want to stop something like this, make sure you start something too.

Good advice!

[Lavazza]

Edit: edited

[Monica]

And most eye-opening, my complete change in thought processes once I had 'finished' my activities.

What do you mean?

Which brings to mind the area of erotic reading material. I have no idea if this is a valid comparison, but many women read romantic novels all the time- is that the same? Just food for thought, I don't know if it is.

Oh wow, I never thought of that! I haven't read a romance novel since I was 16, and I have zero interest in them now, so I really have no idea. But that's an interesting thought. Maybe one of our courageous female members might like to offer a perspective on this...Or, are there any men out there who have been affected by their partner's obsession with romance novels? Did you feel that you couldn't measure up to the handsome stud in the book? or something like that? Is this the reverse of what women experience with men indulging in porn?

you'll just continue finding harder and harder material- more divorced from reality as you go in the hunt for that new and shocking scenario or image.

We've ascertained that men tend to be aroused by visual stimuli more easily than women. But we haven't addressed why they would find 'shocking' images appealing. Anyone want to take on this question?

So you begin to get this distorted view of reality, be it the objectification of people or the loveless nature of what you think sexual relations is. For someone with a significant other, this will probably become an alienating problem after a while, even if it starts only subtly. I've read about men who find themselves no longer satisfied with their partners because they aren't having the type of sex they see on the screen. Or even scenarios where they have to watch porn while having sex in order to enjoy themselves. Of course this would be confusing and emotionally harmful for everyone involved. For the single man, I suppose it could lead to a hollow feeling inside since real satisfaction is never achieved. Very likely a form of depression would grow, and of course they would be seeking out real companionship less.

Very insightful! Everything Lavazza just described...is there any doubt as to its inherent polarizing effect? Words of alienation...lovelessness...objectification...Aren't these all hallmarks of STS?

[origin]

What helped me when I was in that situation was to ponder why I was blocking the receiving of love. In my case, I realized that I didn't really love myself. How could I receive love fully when I didn't love myself?

Interestingly, when I realized that and made progress in that area, guess what! miraculously, my mate seemed to have a corresponding breakthru as well. Was that mere coincidence? I don't think so! Our energies fed each other and mirrored each other. Likewise, whenever he had a breakthru of some sort, it triggered a corresponding response in me.

What I should reveal is that our relationship, in a larger sense, has evolved in many ways since we've been together (going on 6 years now). In our first two years together, we worked through some huge blockages---I could barely even have sex with him---everything felt shameful, dirty and guilt-ridden. Luckily, we got over this hurdle, but back then we could barely make love without me being brought to tears (and not in a positive way). We have positively had breakthroughs and I suppose that it is always, as you mentioned, a process.

So, I would suggest that you not fret about whether your partner is reciprocating in the way that you would like, and just focus on being fully in the moment, and just LOVE him, while loving yourself and opening yourself to RECEIVING love as well...and let the magick unfold! It will! The important thing is that you have commitment to each other...the rest will naturally develop as each of you evolves, and you can help each other, not just in the bedroom, but in your everyday interactions. Just being there for each other, loving each other, accepting each other, while nurturing and loving yourselves, will translate into greater energy exchange in the bedroom.

That makes so much sense, Monica. I have to admit that I've been going through a more intense period of self-discovery since the year began. I've been strengthening myself and actually learning to love myself more. This has really been the biggest blockage that I've been going through for many years; I continue to work through this every day.

Here's another suggestion: you might consider throwing caution to the winds and surrender yourself to joyful abandon...try doing it every day for awhile and see what happens! Without any judgement or expectation on the 'quality' of the experience, just be there in the moment, and accept it for what it is...you just might be surprised! And he might be so appreciative that his heart chakra might just open!

Sounds like fun! I'll give it a try.

[Edited]: Perhaps you may want to consider a non-sexual activity where his heart is completely open in. For example: If he likes Horse Riding then buy two rides for him and go together. His heart will be open and excited and you will get your emotional fulfillment being with him when he is so open and happy. It is a win win and a recipe for a great sex later on

This is an interesting suggestion! He's passionate about cycling and nature/hiking. I've noticed that when we've done this two activities together in the past, it has always brought us closer.

Still, my best advice is to focus on the love you share, do fun things together, share your feelings and learn to honor and respect eachother in all ways. Work on the love relationship rather than the sex relationship. I believe that if you tend the garden of your love well, that the sexual flowers within it will bloom in their own good time.

Thank you Pablísimo! That resonates for me very much---to work on the love relationship. Work has definitely changed the dynamic of our relationship immensely for about six months now. Our schedules are very different and it has been a struggle to continue to nurture love beyond the blooming sexual flowers.

love and light,
origin

[Peregrinus]

Well, I am back to being celibate. Wait... I have been celibate for nearly eight months. Ok, I'm back to being celibate without masturbation. Why? I have devoted myself to the the will of the One Creator. The first thing it desired of me was that I went to the store, bought some fresh and tasty ingredients, and made myself a veggie wrap, the first one I ever have had in my life, and the best tasting one I have ever had, I might add. Apparently the One Creator had a desire for Monterey Jack cheese in that wrap, because I have never had that desire... this was after a two day fast. Alright alright, I digress; back to celibacy and the m theory.

I desire to serve the One Creator's will, not that of my own, and have dedicated myself to being an instrument of its will. Thus I am allowing my ego's wants and desires to be removed. Although (I have noticed) this ape mind does indeed desire sexual release, I desire to move more into the indigo ray, and am thus saving my energies for that. I have always understood it is mind over matter, mind over the body, and this is another step. I've cut out coffee now too; the catalyst comes harder and faster, and I am coming to new understandings at a steady pace. I am now a vice-less man, the first time in this incarnate experience since I was a child.

[Pablísimo]

Here is a tragic yet inspiring story

That article really got to me. The emotional anguish and physical pain that girl went through really moved me and I could not read it in a single sitting. As "evolved" as I try to be, I think I would have a hard time with that catalyst and her suffering really touched me.

It does make me wonder, though, if on a soul level it is actually something very good for her. I mean, I don't really know this person but I got the impression from the article that she was a bit shallow about physical appearances and was was very focused on physical beauty, especially if her first coherent response was "Kill me." Perhaps this catalyst has ended her TV career but it no doubt caused her to do a fair amount of soul searching and forced her to grow as a person and try to figure out just what is really important. The story ended on an inspiring note and she has clearly healed a great deal. Given the coming harvest, she may be able to make far more progress now polarizing positively. Perhaps she was on a shallow path and her higher Self activated a soul contract, sort of how Roosevelt's infirmity described. That thought was the only one that settled my troubled heart after reading that article. Thank you for sharing -- it was perfectly timed in this discussion.

Yes. I think it's very likely a highly personal thing, but here is my speculation. Pornography in itself creates the desire for more pornography, since after a while what you previously thought was hot will become less satisfying. So you get more, and more... and more. And due to the infinite nature of the internet from the perspective of one person, you'll just continue finding harder and harder material- more divorced from reality as you go in the hunt for that new and shocking scenario or image. I think that it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain a mental balance when this happens. Intellectually you know that women are not like that in real life, but it doesn't stop you from seeing through that filter in an unconscious way. So you begin to get this distorted view of reality, be it the objectification of people or the loveless nature of what you think sexual relations is. For someone with a significant other, this will probably become an alienating problem after a while, even if it starts only subtly. I've read about men who find themselves no longer satisfied with their partners because they aren't having the type of sex they see on the screen. Or even scenarios where they have to watch porn while having sex in order to enjoy themselves. Of course this would be confusing and emotionally harmful for everyone involved. For the single man, I suppose it could lead to a hollow feeling inside since real satisfaction is never achieved. Very likely a form of depression would grow, and of course they would be seeking out real companionship less. When they did find a partner there might be all sorts of awkwardness happening since the reality of the situation turns out to be much different than he had seen on TV thousands of times before. These are speculations of course, I think it could probably manifest in any number of other ways. And I also speak to extremes- there are many gray areas in between the non-addicted and the addicted to the point of utter obsession.

Lavazza, I found your post to be particularly insightful about this problem and more than anything else I've yet read in this thread clarified the STS aspects of this problem. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

Monica asked a question a while back...

We've ascertained that men tend to be aroused by visual stimuli more easily than women. But we haven't addressed why they would find 'shocking' images appealing. Anyone want to take on this question?

That made me think back on Biu's comments on the simulated rape porn. What you described is a sort of steady, gradual descent into harder and harder material as you get more divorced from reality. I wonder if this is the answer to her question? I have to admit that while I can see why people like porn to a degree, I can't imagine finding simulated rape even remotely stimulating no matter how hot the girl was. Maybe it's not the kind of thing that happens over night, maybe the descent is so gradual and so subtle that you just wake up one day and find that suddenly a barnyard gangbag is stimulating. Unfortunately I don't have much I can really say on the topic, but your post sparked that thought in me and I thought I would share it.

I did find a few links while looking for more info on the topic. Here are two non-religious treatment programs. One is $47 a month for 6 months and the other is $19.95 for an ebook:

http://www.candeocan.com/
http://endpornaddiction.com/

I can't vouch for them but I did find some good reviews.

I also found something else that might be of a wider interest. Apparently there is a debate series that tours major colleges in the US. On one side you have two famous porn stars (Ron Jeremy is always one) and on the other the guy who runs a Christian xxxchurch outreach program for porn addicts and a former porn producer turned evangelical Christian.

Here's a flyer:
http://www.wolfmanproductions.com/porn.html

While the debate standards are not quite as high as I would have hoped, I found a copy on Youtube in 10 parts that was quite interesting because it discusses a lot of the themes we have been talking about here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3dDXppgUpI

I found part 4 to be the most moving. It discuss how some of the women involved suffer long after their brief stint in porn:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVgEMmRTSJA

Anyway, just more food for thought.

Love to all

---

Well, I am back to being celibate. Wait... I have been celibate for nearly eight months. Ok, I'm back to being celibate without masturbation. Why? I have devoted myself to the the will of the One Creator.I desire to serve the One Creator's will, not that of my own, and have dedicated myself to being an instrument of its will. Thus I am allowing my ego's wants and desires to be removed. Although (I have noticed) this ape mind does indeed desire sexual release, I desire to move more into the indigo ray, and am thus saving my energies for that. I have always understood it is mind over matter, mind over the body, and this is another step. I've cut out coffee now too; the catalyst comes harder and faster, and I am coming to new understandings at a steady pace. I am now a vice-less man, the first time in this incarnate experience since I was a child.

Wow, Peregrinus, that is quite a step. Celibacy never felt right to me at all, and indeed was one of the biggest problems I had with Hinduism. I tried suppressing my sexual desires for a while, but it actually harmed my spiritual capacity because it caused my mind to dwell on baser things and was ultimately a distraction. I was very happy to find a sacred and harmonious exploration of sexuality in the Law of One. For me, sexuality is now part of my spiritual path and sharing sexual love and other intimacy with my partner has helped expand my heart to a great degree.

That said, my path is only right for me and you must walk the path that is right for you. I lovingly respect and honor your choices.

Hinduism affected me DEEPLY and I struggled for years to understand how celibacy could be helpful and I just never figured it out. I actually wished that more discussion of Don Elkin's rationale for celibacy had gone into Book V because I couldn't quite grasp what his thinking was from the bits and pieces where it was discussed. I never quite reconciled the idea of a celibate man receiving such involved teaching on sexual energy transfers, having a loving partner at the time, and that choice not being affected.

Would you mind sharing with me your reasons why celibacy is a helpful path for you and how exactly it helps with Indigo ray work? I am not judging you or condemning that decision, I just really want to understand it. It might finally answer some questions I had forgotten I had. If you are not comfortable sharing your reasons, I accept that, of course.

Another related thought is do you have a plan for overcoming "Horny Monk Syndrome"?

Love to all

[Peregrinus]

Wow, Peregrinus, that is quite a step. Celibacy never felt right to me at all, and indeed was one of the biggest problems I had with Hinduism. I tried suppressing my sexual desires for a while, but it actually harmed my spiritual capacity because it caused my mind to dwell on baser things and was ultimately a distraction. I was very happy to find a sacred and harmonious exploration of sexuality in the Law of One. For me, sexuality is now part of my spiritual path and sharing sexual love and other intimacy with my partner has helped expand my heart to a great degree.

That said, my path is only right for me and you must walk the path that is right for you. I lovingly respect and honor your choices.

Hinduism affected me DEEPLY and I struggled for years to understand how celibacy could be helpful and I just never figured it out. I actually wished that more discussion of Don Elkin's rationale for celibacy had gone into Book V because I couldn't quite grasp what his thinking was from the bits and pieces where it was discussed. I never quite reconciled the idea of a celibate man receiving such involved teaching on sexual energy transfers, having a loving partner at the time, and that choice not being affected.

Would you mind sharing with me your reasons why celibacy is a helpful path for you and how exactly it helps with Indigo ray work? I am not judging you or condemning that decision, I just really want to understand it. It might finally answer some questions I had forgotten I had. If you are not comfortable sharing your reasons, I accept that, of course.

Another related thought is do you have a plan for overcoming "Horny Monk Syndrome"?

Of course I do not mind explaining myself brother. By not depleting energy which is used towards, and released in, the act of sex or masturbation, this conserved energy is that which may be used in a conscious manner towards my goal, which is to be an instrument of the One Creator's will, without thought of self.

To be sure, I AM, like all, a healer, though for me this is one manner in which I desire to be of additional earthly service; thus in order to be able to heal, one must work through either the green ray, which makes healing possible, or work through the indigo ray, which makes all possible, including healing.

It is in my determination to work in the indigo ray, like Don did, for this is where I feel I must go, and is no small feat within the veil.

Horny monk syndrome... All of this earth is an illusion, thus like anything else, the mind can overcome it. I have overcome great physical pain in my past, and anything else that I have desired to overcome, so this will be no different. This is my choice, and each time temptation is presented to me, it provides a catalyst, thus I can use it to further increase distillation of emotions/experience.

To quote Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you are right". Little did he know HOW true that is.

[Lavazza]

Edit: edited

[ayadew]

If we take this discussion in reverse, speaking of "sexual non-addiction"... what would this imply? I've had an extremely low 'libido' since my difficult experience. There's simply no sexual desire. I feel quite stable today, but definitely not on the energy levels I had before.

My red energy-ray is in disorder I suspect.

[fairyfarmgirl]

Sometimes, when one has reached a level of expansion. Sexual relations is something that is naturally set aside without fanfare or thought... just one day one awakens and no longer desires to do as one did before... this sometimes happens and sometimes the decision is made to consciously cultivate transpersonal and estatic sexual relations with another--- but it is different now....

fairyfarmgirl

[Pablísimo]

Of course I do not mind explaining myself brother. By not depleting energy which is used towards, and released in, the act of sex or masturbation, this conserved energy is that which may be used in a conscious manner towards my goal, which is to be an instrument of the One Creator's will, without thought of self.

Thank you for your openness and honesty, Peregrinus, this is valuable information.

I think I see it now. So, if I understand what you are saying correctly, it's not so much that the celibacy changes your fundamental personality, it is rather a mechanism to conserve spiritual energy that would normally be released in sexual activity. You can then consciously use this stored energy to effect healing through the indigo ray, the gateway to intelligent infinity. Please correct me if I am off-base, but if this is so I consider this to be a much better reason for celibacy than I have ever heard before. And rather selfless at that.

To be sure, I AM, like all, a healer, though for me this is one manner in which I desire to be of additional earthly service; thus in order to be able to heal, one must work through either the green ray, which makes healing possible, or work through the indigo ray, which makes all possible, including healing.

It is in my determination to work in the indigo ray, like Don did, for this is where I feel I must go, and is no small feat within the veil.

I confess I don't fully understand the difference between healing in indigo vs healing in green ray, but I believe this information was covered in the LOO and I will do some searching on it to clarify.

Horny monk syndrome... All of this earth is an illusion, thus like anything else, the mind can overcome it. I have overcome great physical pain in my past, and anything else that I have desired to overcome, so this will be no different. This is my choice, and each time temptation is presented to me, it provides a catalyst, thus I can use it to further increase distillation of emotions/experience.

This sounds very similar to some of the reasoning behind fasting, to transcend physicality and realize that you are ultimately a spiritual being in a material illusion. Clearly you have a very strong will and I hope that this aids you in this journey. I would wager that this catalyst will be quite difficult at times. For me, a total lack of sexual release led my mind to dwell more frequently on sex and crowded out my other thoughts. It sounds like you, on the other hand, are going to transmute those baser thoughts for a higher purpose. I salute the purity of your intent and wish you well in this endeavor.

To quote Henry Ford, "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you are right". Little did he know HOW true that is.

Great quote! And so very, very true in so many ways.

Just as an aside, it is my understanding that there are a number of drugs that unintentionally, and a few that INTENTIONALLY, reduce sexual desire in men. There is also surgical castration, which achieves the same thing.

Now, I'm not seriously suggesting that you or anyone use these methods, being that I am naturally averse to both surgery and manufactured drugs, but I'm wondering if you think it would be just as effective for the spiritual work you plan to do with celibacy? That is, is that same sexual energy available in a body that hormonally does not crave sex? Or is it more of a transmutation of desire itself that, if the desire were removed, would not allow the sexual energy to build in the first place?

Love to all

[Monica]

What I should reveal is that our relationship, in a larger sense, has evolved in many ways since we've been together (going on 6 years now). In our first two years together, we worked through some huge blockages---I could barely even have sex with him---everything felt shameful, dirty and guilt-ridden. Luckily, we got over this hurdle, but back then we could barely make love without me being brought to tears (and not in a positive way). We have positively had breakthroughs and I suppose that it is always, as you mentioned, a process.

Then you are doing great! To overcome the shame association with sex, and get to the point where it is enjoyable at all, in just 6 years is quite an accomplishment! That is HUGE! Many people (more commonly women, I would presume) live their entire lives struggling with this issue.

In many cases, the women were either abused as children, or brought up in a religious environment in which sex was viewed as 'dirty' or brought in some past life baggage (from puritanical times or some other religious stigma) or a combination of all of the above. This is some heavy stuff! Religious programming can be very deep, so if you have already cleared a lot of that in just 6 years, I think you should give yourself (and your mate) a hug of appreciation! Congratulations!

To go from guilt-ridden sex to open, free lovemaking is a beautiful transformation indeed. Be patient with yourself as you heal from whatever it was that caused you to feel guilt/shame about something so free and beautiful.

Suggestion: If you do happen to know the root of it, actively choose to forgive whoever negatively affected your views/feelings about sex. While that(those) person(s) might not seem at all connected to your present concerns, and you may even feel that the past issues of shame/guilt are long resolved, there may still be a connection there that could be rippling out to your present concerns.

For example, the ex-boyfriend I mentioned (the one who was addicted to porn) affected me (how could he not?) and actively forgiving him had a huge impact on the relationship that came afterwards.

Miraculously, I somehow escaped shame issues even though I was brought up Catholic, but I know some of my sisters weren't so lucky, (Must have been that my Pagan past lives prevailed, ha!) But the battles with a porn-addicted boyfriend was a major catalyst in my case.

Whatever the reason, the solution is always the same: Forgiveness of self and other-self. And, if I may suggest, gratitude and appreciation for how much you and your mate have accomplished thus far!

I have to admit that I've been going through a more intense period of self-discovery since the year began. I've been strengthening myself and actually learning to love myself more.

Wonderful!

This has really been the biggest blockage that I've been going through for many years; I continue to work through this every day.

Loving and nurturing myself has been a huge issue for me as well!

[Peregrinus]

I think I see it now. So, if I understand what you are saying correctly, it's not so much that the celibacy changes your fundamental personality, it is rather a mechanism to conserve spiritual energy that would normally be released in sexual activity. You can then consciously use this stored energy to effect healing through the indigo ray, the gateway to intelligent infinity. Please correct me if I am off-base, but if this is so I consider this to be a much better reason for celibacy than I have ever heard before. And rather selfless at that.

Your perception is indeed correct brother. To be the selfless instrument of the One Creator is what I hope may be the highest offering of myself I may make. What the One creator desires of me is therefore not my will, but its will. Healing ability will come, or not, if it is the One Creator's will for me. I simply strive to be of the purest intent.

This sounds very similar to some of the reasoning behind fasting, to transcend physicality and realize that you are ultimately a spiritual being in a material illusion. Clearly you have a very strong will and I hope that this aids you in this journey. I would wager that this catalyst will be quite difficult at times. For me, a total lack of sexual release led my mind to dwell more frequently on sex and crowded out my other thoughts. It sounds like you, on the other hand, are going to transmute those baser thoughts for a higher purpose. I salute the purity of your intent and wish you well in this endeavor.

The catalyst comes harder and faster, cutting to the bone when one makes the decision to become an instrument of the One Creator. Each day, since setting my intention, I go through far more catalyst than I used to, and because my ego is not in play (nearly as much), distilling this catalyst is coming to me easier. Clearly I am still have the bipedal ape mind, and I do understand/expect to have the continuing cycles of up/down as we must all experience in this illusion, but I have let go of expectation. I trust in the Father's will for me and choose to live in the moment, and oh how glorious that is becoming!

Just as an aside, it is my understanding that there are a number of drugs that unintentionally, and a few that INTENTIONALLY, reduce sexual desire in men. There is also surgical castration, which achieves the same thing.

Now, I'm not seriously suggesting that you or anyone use these methods, being that I am naturally averse to both surgery and manufactured drugs, but I'm wondering if you think it would be just as effective for the spiritual work you plan to do with celibacy? That is, is that same sexual energy available in a body that hormonally does not crave sex? Or is it more of a transmutation of desire itself that, if the desire were removed, would not allow the sexual energy to build in the first place?

Inherently some of the most sexually frustrated and depraved men in history have been eunuchs. I would believe this is because even if the physical aspect is removed, the red ray activity still permeates the physical world, and thus the body, heart, and mind of the physical vehicle. Personally I would not do anything to defile the One Creator's creation, this temple of it's beauty, and have not even vowed celibacy, for I believe as well that castration by any means is and would be an act of personal intent, not one of selfless transparent intent.

I am simply "being", using my heart, mind, and energy in as pure and highest intent as I can. Should the One Creator desire something other for me, I have no doubt it will resonate in me.

I just yesterday found myself in the right place, at at exactly the right time (three minutes earlier or later and I would have missed it), to experience a once in a lifetime event which will never again take place again in the same place, a place I rarely go and didn't need to go to... and presented to me, in my face as it were, was a purpose to which I may serve in a larger way. I thank my higher self and the One Creator for allowing me to have been given this opportunity, and I endeavour to serve to the best of my earthly abilities.

[kylissa]

I am finding this thread to be quite enlightening, thank you all.

[Pablísimo]

Your perception is indeed correct brother. To be the selfless instrument of the One Creator is what I hope may be the highest offering of myself I may make. What the One creator desires of me is therefore not my will, but its will. Healing ability will come, or not, if it is the One Creator's will for me. I simply strive to be of the purest intent.

The catalyst comes harder and faster, cutting to the bone when one makes the decision to become an instrument of the One Creator. Each day, since setting my intention, I go through far more catalyst than I used to, and because my ego is not in play (nearly as much), distilling this catalyst is coming to me easier. Clearly I am still have the bipedal ape mind, and I do understand/expect to have the continuing cycles of up/down as we must all experience in this illusion, but I have let go of expectation. I trust in the Father's will for me and choose to live in the moment, and oh how glorious that is becoming!

I am simply "being", using my heart, mind, and energy in as pure and highest intent as I can. Should the One Creator desire something other for me, I have no doubt it will resonate in me.

Hi Peregrinus! I haven't had much time over the last several days to post, but I wanted to thank you for sharing those insights so openly and honestly. I really do feel that I now have a better (albeit still incomplete) understanding of an issue that was always baffling to me. More puzzle pieces for me to understand this Mystery of Existence.

You have chosen a difficult road -- finding the balance between being an instrument of the Creator's will and avoiding the path to martyrdom. To distill such powerful catalyst and use it for selfless service rather than be overwhelmed by it.

All I can say now is that I wish you well on your path and thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts with us all so that we can benefit from your experience.

Namaste, Peregrinus, Namaste.

Love to all

[Gribbons]

We're probably going to get married. But I find myself sometimes thinking about the sex I would have with my ex, who has the biggest, most perfect butt that I can imagine, and she also has *emphasis* much bigger boobs. While sex is a body/spirit connection, I can't help but think if she had her body, I would love her that much more, and it would rid me of my desire for my ex completely.

My question is that I remember reading somewhere that in the 4D we can change appearances. Would it also be plausible to think that she could could, let's say, increase her "feminine goods" mass at that point? Or am I just lusting for extra bodily comfort that I can't enjoy again?

[Monica]

We're probably going to get married. But I find myself sometimes thinking about the sex I would have with my ex, who has the biggest, most perfect butt that I can imagine, and she also has *emphasis* much bigger boobs. While sex is a body/spirit connection, I can't help but think if she had her body, I would love her that much more, and it would rid me of my desire for my ex completely.

My question is that I remember reading somewhere that in the 4D we can change appearances. Would it also be plausible to think that she could could, let's say, increase her "feminine goods" mass at that point? Or am I just lusting for extra bodily comfort that I can't enjoy again?

Gribbons, why do you think of your partner's body as 'goods?'

I think you may find reading this entire thread to be very helpful.

[peelstreetguy]

Monica, I fear you might have confused our new brother, Gribbons, by adding his thread to this one. Hopefully he finds it in here. I understand why you did it and it makes perfect sense. I'm just not sure he will pick up on it....

To Gribbons,

My brother, you are suffering from the red ray lust of 3D. I can understand where you are comming from. I have been trying to raise the lust vibration for many years, with some success. I might add that we are not alone in this imbalance. Men are paticularly vulnerable, for obvious reasons.
I guess you have to ask yourself, what's more important. The perfect body type you like, or the love being given, and shared.
Forget about the 4D thing! If you make it to 4D, you won't care what she looks like. It is a HIGHER , PURER LOVE.
I hope I helped you a bit. I have quite a bit of experience with this topic. If you want we can explore this in a little more depth.
I suggest that you learn about the energy body and the chakras. This will provide you with a better perspective. We all have our battles to fight to become balanced. Informing yourself about the true nature of the battle can only help.

Oh yeah, Welcome to the forum.

[Gribbons]

We're probably going to get married. But I find myself sometimes thinking about the sex I would have with my ex, who has the biggest, most perfect butt that I can imagine, and she also has *emphasis* much bigger boobs. While sex is a body/spirit connection, I can't help but think if she had her body, I would love her that much more, and it would rid me of my desire for my ex completely.

My question is that I remember reading somewhere that in the 4D we can change appearances. Would it also be plausible to think that she could could, let's say, increase her "feminine goods" mass at that point? Or am I just lusting for extra bodily comfort that I can't enjoy again?

Gribbons, why do you think of your partner's body as 'goods?'

I think you may find reading this entire thread to be very helpful.

Haha, I was actually trying to euphemize the areas of a female a male might see as being personally stimulating or pleasurable to him in nature. Given our lack of implied features.

Yes, I'll have to read through this entire thread. Thank you.

Oh, I just saw your post peelstreetguy. I believe you are correct in that lust is a suffering caused by blockage in the red ray. It may have to do with me just being a male, but from I can tell from my experiences, I feel I store a lot of energy in the phallus. I can distinctly remember jumping up and down on my sister's bed wearing her silk panties watching a movie with attractive women in it when was 3 years old. (I think the movie had something to do with witches? Which probably oddly enough explains my huge attraction towards women interested in magic. A spiritual girl is really who I love, but the magical element turns me on I guess. But I digress.) I was wild. I wasn't ashamed really. I did lock the door, and would try to disguise what I was doing should someone knock, but, it didn't stop me and I had nothing in my head saying not to, or to do, I just did, so I see it as being a legitimate expression of Myself. It may just be the phallic stage Freud speaks of, but, no disrespect to Peregrinus or anyone else, I could never be celibate. Maybe it's because I'm youthful, but I know I love sex, and so does my partner. If the spiritual bond remains and strengthens, I don't see any reason why I'd ever give up such a beautiful, engaging, and cathartic expression of love.

[Ali Quadir]

My question is that I remember reading somewhere that in the 4D we can change appearances. Would it also be plausible to think that she could could, let's say, increase her "feminine goods" mass at that point? Or am I just lusting for extra bodily comfort that I can't enjoy again?

What if your girl doesn't want to? She's expressing who she is right now.

It's not her lack... It's yours dude.... You've associated the perfect bottom and chest with divine love. You could have associated bright feathers with divine love. But you took a more mammalian approach. It's just chemicals in your brain being triggered by signals that you've entrained yourself to in puberty.

The idea that this is a truth outside of you is potentially very damaging to your relationship.. I would get over it if I were you... It's something inside of you..

[Gribbons]

You're absolutely right. I know I'm selfish in thinking all of this. Must be a mammalian insecurity I'll have to discover in meditation. Thank you.

[Steppingfeet]

You've associated the perfect bottom and chest with divine love. You could have associated bright feathers with divine love. But you took a more mammalian approach. It's just chemicals in your brain being triggered by signals that you've entrained yourself to in puberty.

Ha! Great and humorous point!

It is as you say, Ali, biological and cultural programming. Some necessary, some not, but both mechanisms only.

Gribbons, as with any sensation, desire, craving, emotion, energy, or force within the self - it is just that: within the self.

You are not these energies, you only experience these energies.

As powerful and consuming as they may seem to be, if you are able to collect your attention and enter into spacious, empty silence, you may find that you can sit and watch these urges rise and fall without participating in them.

As you maintain this practice, you will gradually become more present in the moment, able to be conscious when these urges rise. You will not interfere with or repress these urgings - there is no right or wrong in them - you will simply watch them with loving, focused awareness, knowing that You are not the sensations of red ray lusting. Thus will that energy rise to higher and more universal expression.

This inner space and peace brings with it a self-sufficiency that does not reach outside the self for increased satisfaction, happiness, or identity-enhancement. Instead, from this stillness within will arise the desire not to get for yourself, but to give, to radiate unconditionally the love you feel is palpable within the moment.

In this stillness, you will also connect with the stillness within others, and the outer appearances, whether perceived as sexy or not, will be embraced as beautiful, perfect gestures or expressions of the other self's spirit within.

In short, you will begin to see that behind the many faces, there is only One, and though infinite in variety, single in beauty.

Love/Light, GLB

PS: That's written as much to myself as it is to you. : )

[Ali Quadir]

PS: That's written as much to myself as it is to you. : )

I empathetically support this statement It's almost silly how much power the female body has over a man. Biological reflexes are very strong. And not something to be ashamed of. But they are something we must recognize for what they are to avoid them having so much influence in our choices that we are reduced to automatons.

It would be a real shame to lose someone we truly love because we can not look past what's essentially a detail in the grand scheme of a romance. The transcendental presence of the other. Love is blind, and that's a good thing, since we all carry our flaws with us. Love may be blind, but not stupid Through love we can see the other undistorted, perfect. Flaws make no difference

There is a japanese concept "Wabi sabi" which means the perfection in the imperfect.

[fairyfarmgirl]

I highly recommend reading some of Daniel Odier's work.
--fairyfarmgirl

[Steppingfeet]

It's almost silly how much power the female body has over a man. Biological reflexes are very strong.

Tell me about it! Between the object which stimulates (whether proportion or curvature or personality temperament or bright feathers), and the stimulation itself, must exist a time span of .00000045 seconds. It is instantaneous. My mind could be subsumed in the deepest philosophical consideration when along comes a brightly feathered creature and the animal brain says, "Alert! Alert! Pursue. Hunger. Want. Obtain."

What we do with that stimulation is that which is of consequence, of course. I am simply agreeing and attesting to its presence and power. If one is not conscious, those base signals can override and take hold of the will, causing decisions to be made and actions to be taken.

And not something to be ashamed of. But they are something we must recognize for what they are to avoid them having so much influence in our choices that we are reduced to automatons.

Precisely!

And FFG, were you the one that recommended Daniel Odier earlier on in this thread? Someone recommended his work "Tantric Quest" in this thread and I subsequently purchased and *loved* the book. It's very Law of One compatible. If that was you, thank you!! Or if another, thank you, other!!

Love & Light,
GLB

[LsavedSmeD]

I have to say the strongest and most powerful urge in my life has to do with girls, it's a powerful lesson to use temperance in the matter but at the same time the physical beauty is completely confounding in some cases - something that I must learn.

[fairyfarmgirl]

Quote
And FFG, were you the one that recommended Daniel Odier earlier on in this thread? Someone recommended his work "Tantric Quest" in this thread and I subsequently purchased and *loved* the book. It's very Law of One compatible. If that was you, thank you!! Or if another, thank you, other!!

Yes, It was I, Fairyfarmgirl.

I continue to re-read the book Tantric Quest by Daniel Odier. There is much to be learned from the teaching. It is a spiral ever expanding with new understandings and insights with each time one re-reads.

I have the same experience with Peace Pilgrim.

Both works have what I call a living Voice. The Voice of the text is living.
fairyfarmgirl