Parenting and the LOO

[Monica]

Are any of you parents out who have raised your kids using LOO principles? Did you share the teachings with your kids? If so, at what age? Did you integrate the LOO with a traditional religious tradition as well? Did your kids embrace the teachings, or did they rebel in their efforts to find their own path? How do you instill values without dogma?

It seems to be natural for many teens to go thru a phase in which they flirt with other spirituality, and maybe even reject the spirituality of their parents. This is understandable when the spirituality of their childhood was a rigid doctrine. I would expect that inclination to be lessened if spirituality is presented without rigidity, and the choices of the child honored and respected.

I'm interested in hearing about the experiences of other parents who have incorporated the LOO in their parenting.

[Bring4th_Steve]

I'm interested in hearing about the experiences of other parents who have incorporated the LOO in their parenting.

This is a particularly interesting topic to me, because I've "inherited" a teenager when I remarried a couple years ago. While she is now 17, I was curious to find out what she really felt inside about her spirituality. She is Latina, and has grown up Catholic. But as she became a teenager, her and her mother dropped off from religion.

I found it kind of interesting, though, that she is open to LOO ideas involving the coming new age, but she is in no way motivated enough to pick up LOO, Autobiography of a Yogi, or some other esoteric material even though I leave it laying around the house. She's too caught up with friends and school to seem to want to care about spirituality. But isn't that typical for many youths who live in the moment of MySpace pages and text messaging? After dancing around some topics with her while I had her intention in the car, I could tell by her half-hearted answers that she didn't want to engage any further, so I just ended the discussion.

Since I got remarried (to the teenager's mom), I had two more children who are now 16 mos. and 3 mos. I plan on fully schooling them in LOO material. Thankfully, my wife is totally fine with a non-religious upbringing as she is spiritual, but unfortunately not a LOO reader. While I plan to validate the existence and importance of Jesus during his 3rd density incarnation, I feel obligated to also explain how there have been many distortions of how Jesus was documented and portrayed. I feel like I want to concentrate on his lessons of living in love, and not on the drama and parables that otherwise cloud these basic lessons.

So I've still got a few years of reviewing the LOO series and meditating in order to make sure I can offer these two kids a helpful service! By the time they are old enough to understand it, 2012 will be here, which invites its own mystery of how that will impact my parenting as it relates to LOO.

I take it you have childen, DreamingPeace? Are they old enough to begin thinking about these types of topics?

Steve

[Monica]

Your step-daughter (is that the right term?) sounds very typical, actually!

I think it may be all you can expect that she is at least receptive to hearing about the LOO. That's huge! Rejoice in that!

How wonderful that you have 2 very young children who can be brought up with LOO teachings! And it's wonderful that your wife is receptive. My husband is not into the LOO directly, though I've shared much with him. And he is into much other esoteric info. For example, since you mentioned Yogananda's book...he read that to our son when he was around age 12.

We were both raised Catholic and left organized religion upon adulthood, so we made a conscious decision to not subject our child to rigid dogma. We exposed him to a wide variety of esoteric teachings from an early age. We took him to various spiritual services, including Christian churches, Pagan gatherings, New Age meditations, etc.

My only regret is that perhaps we didn't provide him with enough of a foundation regarding prayer and meditation. I had envisioned teaching him to meditate at an early age, but the truth is that he was such a active child that he never responded well to doing any kind of inner work until he was a teenager, at which time I took him to classes on psychic healing and the like. So, while he did get much value from those, I do regret that I didn't teach him more about personal faith. Now a college student, he is questioning what he believes, whether there even is a God, whether any of the psychic phenomena etc. has any basis in reality, and currently rejecting a lot if "Mom's crazy Law of One stuff." But that's pretty typical at this age. So that's ok. I trust that he will find his way to what is appropriate for him.

[SJD]

My first post on this site!

My daughter and her two children have lived with my wife and me for three years, after her divorce.
My eleven year old grandaughter in particular can be quite head-strong and ornery.
I try to remember that she is as much a manifestation of the Infinite One as is anyone.
I try to remember that she is a part of me and I am a part of her.

It helps. Steve D.

[fairyfarmgirl]

Good Greetings All:

Some ways that I find of assistance in engaging "covered" youth and children in uncovering their true nature of oneness (which I am still uncovering LOL) is to be open and receptive to the small teaching moments in which to illustrate the concepts of oneness and the soul.

Nature is a great way to illustrate this. Our Tree sisters and brothers also show oneness--- each part of the tree work to create unity of the one-- the tree--- the one--- the forest--- the one the Earth etc.

Another example is to look up at a hanging ceiling with all its tiles--- are not each tile an individual tile but part of the whole-- the one of the ceiling... Is the ceiling not part of the the one the whole of the room... It is the same with people and this reality that we currently live in... all is One. At a later time introduce the mindboggling concept of multiverse and infinite number of realities etc. and how LOL this is parts of the Whole, the ONE.

Cooking a meal also demonstrates unity. Each ingredient represents a part of the whole, the one.

As far as teaching chapter and verse of the LOO, that is like going to church...which to many young people and old ones at that would be termed as boring.

So when I teach oneness I begin with demonstrating it by my own actions and deed and through the small and wonderful teaching moments that happens hundreds of times in a day... As each moment presents itself terminology and ideology of LOO can be introduced in very small doses. it can just be 20 seconds... it does not have to be a huge time... in 20 seconds an AHA! moment of understanding and uncovering the innate truth is possible.

Further, the prayer "I hail you in the name of the Infinite and One True Creator! I bathe you in Love and Light!" is very helpful to children who travel away and find themselves awakening from a nightmare or the nightmare is standing present in their room (unwanted energies). Teaching them to say this prayer with conviction over time leads them to understand that they are creators of their reality and this is a concept of Oneness. It also sends the unwanted energies packing and lets the grownups in the household get some sleep! LOL


fairyfarmgirl

[ChakRAmon]

In regards to the wonderful and sometimes no so seemingly wonderful world of parenting. Hey Elizabeth! Great to see you here! Just came on board yesterday and was so excited to see a website solely dedicated to the art and study and practice of the Law of One and so many wonderful similar things taught so well in Secrets of the UFO.

I am having to watch my youngest and her husband (with two kids) behave in a very self-destructive manor right now. In past times I would be angry and scared and say negative words of judgment to them, but I now know that they cannot actually ever really hurt their eternal Selves in a 3rd density realm of very vivid, but completely safe, illusions in a construct where free will is so completely honored by the One Infinite Creator.

So I will use this catalyst as an opportunity to send them caring conscious intention (sending them money has only enabled their downward spiral) and do exactly what you said in post above - immerse them daily in the Love and the Light of the One Infinite Creator, for there is nothing so simple and yet so infinitely profound as those powerful simple words that consciously agree with how all of Creation works in the first place, in the Love (unwavering and unconflicted conscious intent) and the Light (the "material" result of willful intention) of the One Infinite Creator.

I rest in the knowledge that I can simply claim their higher selves, even as they so willfully choose certain seemingly destructive catalysts that I, as a parent, would rather they not choose, but who am I to deny them their sacred inherent right of free will. From this day forward I choose to smile instead of frown, for the frown claims that the illusion is real (pure insanity) and the smile leads to the knowledge of the Buddha....
Love/Light, ChakRAmon (Chris)

[fairyfarmgirl]

In regards to the wonderful and sometimes no so seemingly wonderful world of parenting. Hey Elizabeth! Great to see you here! Just came on board yesterday and was so excited to see a website solely dedicated to the art and study and practice of the Law of One and so many wonderful similar things taught so well in Secrets of the UFO.

I am having to watch my youngest and her husband (with two kids) behave in a very self-destructive manor right now. In past times I would be angry and scared and say negative words of judgment to them, but I now know that they cannot actually ever really hurt their eternal Selves in a 3rd density realm of very vivid, but completely safe, illusions in a construct where free will is so completely honored by the One Infinite Creator.

So I will use this catalyst as an opportunity to send them caring conscious intention (sending them money has only enabled their downward spiral) and do exactly what you said in post above - immerse them daily in the Love and the Light of the One Infinite Creator, for there is nothing so simple and yet so infinitely profound as those powerful simple words that consciously agree with how all of Creation works in the first place, in the Love (unwavering and unconflicted conscious intent) and the Light (the "material" result of willful intention) of the One Infinite Creator.

I rest in the knowledge that I can simply claim their higher selves, even as they so willfully choose certain seemingly destructive catalysts that I, as a parent, would rather they not choose, but who am I to deny them their sacred inherent right of free will. From this day forward I choose to smile instead of frown, for the frown claims that the illusion is real (pure insanity) and the smile leads to the knowledge of the Buddha....
Love/Light, ChakRAmon (Chris)

Good Greetings ChakRAmon-Chris:

Yes, it is often difficult to watch our young make poor choices and not sit in judgement of Self or them for our and their choices....

I struggle with this often and my kids are under the age of 8... but very wise beyond their years in some instances...

My beloved husband's brother, is in recovery after he finally hit rock bottom... the place where he knew he could go no further. I had assisted the rest of the family in not enabling the behavior... and waited for that opportunity.. that opening of the heart in which to infuse the other and the Self with Light and Love. Feel this moment arriving soon for your beloved child and grandchildren... it is coming soon... It is very helpful to begin a prayer group for the specific purpose of generating the energy needed for the healing assistance... it only takes a small crack... an opening where the in breath of light infuses with that which is being transformed and magic begins.. the miracle of healing.

My husband's brother is doing very well... 7 months ago a moment occured that I felt and I was there in spirit to infuse with that in breath of Light with a group of wonderous souls who joined with me for this purpose and intent. He now attends a meeting a day and has come to understand that he wandered away from himself for awhile and is getting reacquainted... how long will this last... this is up to him. I do know this he has chosen to do this and is happily doing so.

As far as your grandchildren are concerned it is always a wise parent who is available to assist those who are in need...

fairyfarmgirl

[3D Sunset]

Thank you, DreamingPeace, for starting the thread and, thanks for all the posts thus far.

As the father of three children ages 12, 9, and 7 and I have been very interested in this question and actaully started a thread on the DivineCosmos Law of One forum to discuss the subject as well.

I have mentioned the Law of One by name and the main concepts to my kids (my wife also reads LOO but less so than me, she is more attuned to Yogananda/Roy Eugine Davis and SRF/CSA). I try to present the concepts in a moment where they apply, on a one-on-one basis, and I present them as a philosophy of life, not the philosophy.

Fundamentally, I focus on the Golden Rule with the added perspective that, according to some philosophies, when you do unto others you actually are doing unto yourself. Although that resulted in some perplexed looks the first times I said it, they now at least understand the concept.

Probably the only TV we watch is Ghost Whisperer on Friday nights. This is a great vehicle to exploring many concepts related to death, dying and the purpose of life. It also provides my wife and me an opportunity to discuss our thoughts on how this life fits in to the bigger picture of spiritual evolution.

Ultimately, what we try to do is present them with ideas from many religions and philosophies to allow them a foundation on which to build their own belief structures and to see how all religions have many of the same beliefs. We think that it is important that, as parents, we give them this freedom to choose their path and think things through for themsleves, thus maintaining their free will, but still giving them a framework in which to think and evolve.

Just a few thoughts for now. I look forward to participating in this thread.

3D Sunset

[irpsit]

Hello everyone,

I am new in the group.
I would like to ask one question in regard to the current topic.

If you feel you have a good relationship, that is has quite a strong service to others component, then you would of course, following your heart STO energy to not be positive to contemplate a break-up in that relationship, since that would probably be more self-oriented than oriented to the share of joys and tears that the relationship would have..
Am I somewhat correct?
I am speaking of situations where it did not occur any stagnation and where any conflict is small and short-lived.

I think this is critical when we are parenting kids.
The ideal would be to have some extended family, which is my utopian ideal of a future STO community/society.

Best and Light/Love energies for all,

Thank you, DreamingPeace, for starting the thread and, thanks for all the posts thus far.

As the father of three children ages 12, 9, and 7 and I have been very interested in this question and actaully started a thread on the DivineCosmos Law of One forum to discuss the subject as well.

I have mentioned the Law of One by name and the main concepts to my kids (my wife also reads LOO but less so than me, she is more attuned to Yogananda/Roy Eugine Davis and SRF/CSA). I try to present the concepts in a moment where they apply, on a one-on-one basis, and I present them as a philosophy of life, not the philosophy.

Fundamentally, I focus on the Golden Rule with the added perspective that, according to some philosophies, when you do unto others you actually are doing unto yourself. Although that resulted in some perplexed looks the first times I said it, they now at least understand the concept.

Probably the only TV we watch is Ghost Whisperer on Friday nights. This is a great vehicle to exploring many concepts related to death, dying and the purpose of life. It also provides my wife and me an opportunity to discuss our thoughts on how this life fits in to the bigger picture of spiritual evolution.

Ultimately, what we try to do is present them with ideas from many religions and philosophies to allow them a foundation on which to build their own belief structures and to see how all religions have many of the same beliefs. We think that it is important that, as parents, we give them this freedom to choose their path and think things through for themsleves, thus maintaining their free will, but still giving them a framework in which to think and evolve.

Just a few thoughts for now. I look forward to participating in this thread.

3D Sunset

[Monica]

If you feel you have a good relationship, that is has quite a strong service to others component, then you would of course, following your heart STO energy to not be positive to contemplate a break-up in that relationship, since that would probably be more self-oriented than oriented to the share of joys and tears that the relationship would have..
Am I somewhat correct?
I am speaking of situations where it did not occur any stagnation and where any conflict is small and short-lived.

I think this is critical when we are parenting kids.
The ideal would be to have some extended family, which is my utopian ideal of a future STO community/society.

Hi irpsit!

I know that Ra has stated that any 2 people in a relationship have the potential for experiencing wonderful growth...so that is always an option. Ra also stated that, ideally, the relationship is based on the mutual desire to be together...it is an association entered into by the free will of the participants.

I had a friend who had 2 children by 2 different husbands, and both men wanted her back. She was having a tough time deciding; she loved both of them but in different ways. She was concerned that she might make the 'wrong' decision karmically. I told her that she could learn and grow either way...it would just be in a different way depending on which man she picked. Whatever she didn't learn this time around, could be learned another time. But either choice could result in fruitful growth if both parties decided to give it their all.

I don't recall Ra/Q'uo ever putting any kind of judgment on people's personal decisions about whether to continue or end a relationship, but being that so much importance is placed on honoring the free will of other-selves, I would surmise that an important factor in making the decision to stay together or end the relationship would be: Do BOTH parties harmonize with the decision? Is the decision based on honoring the free will of the other-self? (as opposed to an STS arrangement in which one person is controlling or abusing the other.)

If both parties are in agreement that it's just time to move apart, that would not necessarily be a selfish decision - it might very well be a loving and considerate decision.

In other words, it's not whether to stay or break up that determines whether it's selfish or loving, but whether BOTH people harmonize in the decision. Both people might feel it is best for both to either stay together or separate...whereas, in a STS-oriented relationship, one is dominating the other...in that case, certainly the STO person has the right to leave such a relationship. But you specified an STO-based relationship...in that case, I think the important issue is whether BOTH people are served by the decision. If one person wants to leave and the other not...then...I would suggest going within and asking what it is that they are uncomfortable with...what catalyst is making them want to leave? Or, maybe the other person feels the same way and just isn't communicating it. I had another friend who was unhappy in her marriage, and when she finally communicated her feelings to her husband, he told her he was sooo relieved...he felt the same way but didn't want to hurt her. So they parted ways but remained good friends...in their case, it was for the best for both of them.

As with all important decisions, only you can know what is best for you, by seeking guidance within. We can offer ideas and suggestions, that you might wish to consider. I don't know if I am remotely addressing your question...if not, just discard.

---

Thank you, DreamingPeace, for starting the thread and, thanks for all the posts thus far.

You are quite welcome! And thank you for sharing!

As the father of three children ages 12, 9, and 7 and I have been very interested in this question and actaully started a thread on the DivineCosmos Law of One forum to discuss the subject as well.

I have mentioned the Law of One by name and the main concepts to my kids (my wife also reads LOO but less so than me, she is more attuned to Yogananda/Roy Eugine Davis and SRF/CSA). I try to present the concepts in a moment where they apply, on a one-on-one basis, and I present them as a philosophy of life, not the philosophy.

Wow, what lucky children you have! A dad into the LOO and a mom into Yogananda/SRF!

Fundamentally, I focus on the Golden Rule with the added perspective that, according to some philosophies, when you do unto others you actually are doing unto yourself. Although that resulted in some perplexed looks the first times I said it, they now at least understand the concept.

Can't get any better than the Golden Rule!

Probably the only TV we watch is Ghost Whisperer on Friday nights. This is a great vehicle to exploring many concepts related to death, dying and the purpose of life. It also provides my wife and me an opportunity to discuss our thoughts on how this life fits in to the bigger picture of spiritual evolution.

I've never seen Ghost Whisperer (we don't have cable), but when our son was 8, we introduced Star Trek Next Generation. We had kept him away from all violence up until that point (not even violent cartoons!) but age 8 seemed a good time to introduce ST. The violence was minimal, and each episode dealt with some heavy-duty concepts like free will, the Prime Directive (straight out of the LOO!), and all sorts of ethical dilemmas. Since we homeschooled, I used to say, "Star Trek is our character-building curriculum."

Ultimately, what we try to do is present them with ideas from many religions and philosophies to allow them a foundation on which to build their own belief structures and to see how all religions have many of the same beliefs. We think that it is important that, as parents, we give them this freedom to choose their path and think things through for themsleves, thus maintaining their free will, but still giving them a framework in which to think and evolve.

I agree! That is exactly what we did! My husband read Autobiography of a Yogi to him, I taught him about reincarnation, crystal healing, and all sorts of other stuff, I took him to Christian churches on some Sundays and New Age/Pagan gatherings on others, and we enrolled him in a Christian homeschool co-op...which worked out great until he started asking too many questions. =( But overall, I think he got a pretty eclectic exposure to different styles of spirituality.

My only regret is that I didn't emphasis meditation enough. If I had to do it over again, I would have made it a daily practice. We had our little rituals and prayers, and always had a prayer and some OMing at bedtime, but I didn't really convey the importance of meditation...it was difficult to do with a child whose mind is racing and is excited about playing with his new radio-controlled car tomorrow...and I thought when he was a teenager, it would be easier...but of course by then they have other interests!

I also regret not being more diligent about working with him on his dreams. Again, the hustle and bustle of our lives made that difficult. If I had to do it over again, I would make those practices more important.



And now I have a question for you, 3D, and any other parent:

How do you balance honoring their free will with necessary discipline? I never did figure that one out!

[ayadew]

How do you balance honoring their free will with necessary discipline? I never did figure that one out!

Is not understanding the most important you can teach someone else? To be a catalyst of inspiration, so that another may think and realise for themselves "this is important".
Have them understand how we see time in this reality. Then how one must plan time and action to survive in our current society, to continue to be together with your loved ones. This understanding might then grow to them helping you with daily shores etc.

I am no parent. But I wish to inspire children, and perhaps my future children, to think objectively, to have them realise that there is much beyond what you see, what others wish you to do, what others expect you to do, and have them love themselves as they are now, not an image of what they wish to be because negative powers impares doubt on them.

Everything is what you chose it to be ultimately, in this density. This is a very important lesson that yields much understanding I believe. I learned it very late. If a child realises this, then you have greatly helped their understanding of free will.

So balance discipline so that it might develop their own perception of free will. Then discipline will not be necessary, it it ever was necessary to begin with. In a perfectly harmonized world, it would not be.

[3D Sunset]

How do you balance honoring their free will with necessary discipline? I never did figure that one out!

Hi DreamingPeace,

Great question! I've referred to this quote from Ra several times.

The Law of One, Book II, Session 42
Questioner: Using the teach/learning relationship of parent to child, what
type of actions would demonstrate the activation of the energy centers in sequence from red to violet?

Ra: I am Ra. The entity, child or adult, as you call it, is not an instrument to be played. The appropriate teach/learning device of parent to child is the open-hearted being-ness of the parent and the total acceptance of the beingness of the child. This will encompass whatever material the child entity has brought into the life experience in this plane. There are two things especially important in this relationship other than the basic acceptance of the child by the parent. Firstly, the experience of whatever means the parent uses to worship and give thanksgiving to the one infinite Creator, should if possible be shared with the child entity upon a daily basis, as you would say. Secondly, the compassion of parent to child may well be tempered by the understanding that the child entity shall learn the biases of service-to-others or service-to-self from the parental other-self. This is the reason that some discipline is appropriate in the teach/learning. This does not apply to the activation of any one energy center for each entity is unique and each relationship with self and other-self doubly unique. The guidelines given are only general for this reason.

In typical Ra fashion, he has used the term "discipline" ambiguously! Does he mean "discipline" in the sense you mean, or disciplined teach/learning on the parent's part. Ah well, my answer to your question is the same regardless. So what do I do? In my idyllic vision, it goes something like this:

When my child has transgressed in whatever way and for whatever reason, I first ask for their perspective on the situation. I make sure that they have a chance to have to have their say, and I listen to everything they say. I then review with them why what they did was wrong, and why they knew (or should have known) that it was. I next ask them if they agree that they transgressed. In time, we work through this and either we agree that there was indeed no transgression and I was mistaken (rare, but it has happened), or that they did indeed transgress in which case we discuss and mutually agree on the appropriate discipline.

The more crude, real-world version is usually more like this:

My wife or I identify the transgression. Presumed guilty kid yells at us and runs to their room (backyard, dollhouse, etc.). Everyone calms down, we coax presumed presumed guilty kid into whatever room we are in. Everyone has their say about what happened (usually some amount of yelling is involved on kids part, occasionally on ours too). We discuss why what happened was wrong. Kid disagrees and feel persecuted. We work on it. Kid usually acquiesces, probably in order to just have this experience end, but it helps us feel better as parents to hear them say so, even if they don't really believe it. We ask what appropriate punishment would be. Eventually everyone agrees that "letting this one pass" won't allow us to fell good about ourselves as parents. Converge on a consensus, hug and part friends until the next such altercation.

Or something like that. Does this resonate with you?

3D Sunset

[Monica]

My child is now in college, so it doesn't matter any more for us. But I was just wondering how other parents have handled these free-spirited 4D-activated kids. It seems that acquiescence was not part of my child's repertoire.

[fairyfarmgirl]

My child is now in college, so it doesn't matter any more for us. But I was just wondering how other parents have handled these free-spirited 4D-activated kids. It seems that acquiescence was not part of my child's repertoire.

Good Greetings All:

My wee ones are not compliant children either! We spend a lot of time trying to avoid feeling frusterated and trying not to yell when they do things that are unsafe-- We are doing the best we can and continually learning to do things differently to meet the changing demands of the kiddos... It helps that we found a reliable sitter that we can afford so now my hubby and I have some downtime in order to distance ourselves from the drama that the wee ones love to create LOL!

We have also found if we laugh it diffuses the situation!

fairyfarmgirl

[rva_jeremy]

Good input from everybody, thanks much.

In discussing this topic I try to think about what led me down my path. My parents were spiritually aware, and they taught me principles from A Course in Miracles. Around age 13 I had experiences that prompted me to start exploring Edgar Cayce, and everything kind of proceeded from there. These experiences, such as prayers being answered, ignited my curiosity, and since my parents were already down that path there was plenty of material in the house to explore.

What makes me wonder is that my two brothers grew up with the same conditions and yet did not turn on to spirituality. They were aware of it because of my parents' emphasis on it, but to them it seems like it was more church than substance.

This all leads me to believe that there is only so much you can do. Ra says that the important thing is to give the child a background framework with which they have the opportunity to explore spirituality (42.15). After that, it's up to the child him or herself. The downside is that you don't get to guarantee your child's spiritual progress. The upside is that whatever progress they make comes from within, is motivated by authentic experiences (instead of contrived ones), and is grounded in a way that nobody can actually teach.

In conclusion, I find this quote to be helpful in approaching otherselves in just about any context of service, and it definitely applies to parenting:

(17.2) It is impossible to help another being directly. It is only possible to make catalyst available in whatever form, the most important being the radiation of realization of oneness with the Creator from the self, less important being information such as we share with you.

[ChakRAmon]

Hi Jeremy!

Loved your comments on the frustration of being able to only do so much. I actually found it quite liberating to find that it isn't even my job (any more) to be overly concerned like that, just to Be, period. And I mean that in Love and Light of all that Ra taught us so well in those wonderful sessions. There is a place in the beginning sessions (cant think of which session at the moment) where I would swear Ra sounds like Ra is almost laughing pseudo mocking the prospect of attempting to teach anyone anything, but still felt it was "their" Ra's duty to make up for a few of the strategic mistakes they had made so many thousands of years ago.

I so loved and love Ra's apparent dry sense of humor during their time dealing with Don!!! Hey, on a different note (and I am technically breaking the rules, but not spiritually), I just finished reading a book that is so complimentary to what we have learned in the Law of One material. You will know exactly what I mean when and if you read it. It is James Twyman's "Emissary of Light". These Emissaries meditating 12 hours per day for peace that Jimmy got to actually meet over during a peace mission to Croatia and Bosnia a while back, well you get the point. Wonderful addition to the Law of One students growing library of complimentary works...

Love/Light, ChakRAmon

[fairyfarmgirl]

"My wife or I identify the transgression. Presumed guilty kid yells at us and runs to their room (backyard, dollhouse, etc.). Everyone calms down, we coax presumed presumed guilty kid into whatever room we are in. Everyone has their say about what happened (usually some amount of yelling is involved on kids part, occasionally on ours too). We discuss why what happened was wrong. Kid disagrees and feel persecuted. We work on it. Kid usually acquiesces, probably in order to just have this experience end, but it helps us feel better as parents to hear them say so, even if they don't really believe it. We ask what appropriate punishment would be. Eventually everyone agrees that "letting this one pass" won't allow us to fell good about ourselves as parents. Converge on a consensus, hug and part friends until the next such altercation.

Or something like that. Does this resonate with you?

3D Sunset "

Good Greetings 3D Sunset:

Yep! This resonates with me. very typical to parenting my kids as well. I laughed at loud when I read your discription above. For all my abilitites I still find I yell at my kids to get them to listen or to evoke a response... ie clean up this mess you have made... no response from kid: So it becomes CLEAN UP THIS MESS YOU HAVE MADE! and then there is a response. That goes something like this: "OKAY ! OKAY! You don't have to yell! I heard you the first time! I will clean up the mess I made." LOL
Kiddos aspire to make a royal mess just as the parent has finished cleaning. LOL and It still gets me everytime...
fairyfarmgirl

[Lorena Lucille]

How do you balance honoring their free will with necessary discipline? I never did figure that one out!

This was the exact question I asked for my 30 minute spot at the last Homecoming forum in 2008! I got 30 minutes of suggestions from almost everybody.

The most helpful suggestions came from two members Carla and Gerri (who ironically have only had indirect parenting experience). But it has helped me sooo immensely in my parenting.

Carla talked about her little brother, who was born when she was 15 and was under her care as a tot. When he would display inappropriate behavior in public, she would explain that whatever behavior he was displaying was inappropriate (in public) and that if he would like to continue with his yelling, crying, tantrum, etc. that he needed to do that at home. If he persisted, she dropped everything (left the theater after the tickets were bought, left the store and everything to be purchased on the counter) and just went home.

It takes some guts to do this when you're a harried mom, but the great thing is you only have to do it a couple of times and the message gets through! Saying, "if "A" does or does not happen, than "B" approach needs to be taken" and following through with "B" really works. But you HAVE to do "B" if you say you're going to.

In this situation, the child has the free will to carry out his/her feelings and desire to behave a certain way, and you are respecting your needs to have it happen in the appropriate place (car, home, outside, in his/her room, wherever).

The second advice was in the form of a book that you can get used for really cheap online called Parenting With Love and Logic by Foster W. Cline and Jim Fay. They have great advice, similar to Carla's above in nature, that allows the child to grow and learn in their own way with many freedoms and yet allows the parents to have their household guidelines followed.

It seems LOO inspired. I have used this book's methods with wonderful results (which are ageless and can even be applied to spouses, co-workers, people in general) because its basis of approach is respect for both the needs and best interest of the child and the parent, not just trying to control a child by force and exerting your will because you are the mom and that's why.

Thank you all for your great posts. This thread is very near to my heart as a parent traveling the STO LOO path.

[rva_jeremy]

I think Carla's advice on dealing with children is spot on.

But also keep in mind that even contentious or even bad parenting can serve as good catalyst to awaken somebody. It doesn't have to be all sweetness and light. I had really bad problems with one of my parents on control issues, and nothing was more catalytic to me. It must be difficult to be a parent and to understand that it is often through discomfort and even suffering that people grow.

I feel like when it comes to spirituality we're all in the dark, child and adult alike. "Parent" and "child" are earthly roles. There's nothing about being spiritually aware that is going to drastically affect those roles; they're going to essentially remain the same responsibilities no matter how you philosophize them. Growing up and raising kids have catalyst baked in - that's why we're here. The catalyst is not the problem, per se - either for the child or for the parent.

[ubergud]

Hi all,

I felt I needed to add my thoughts to this interesting question. I am 38, with no kids. My thoughts are from the perspective of someone who has always been extremely curious, sensitive, creative and analytical, and my childhood was no exception. Remember that to the mind, aging is illusion. My parents were not particularly religious, but at 6-7 I remember being brought to church on occasion. On the first occasion of hearing a 'hellfire and brimstone' sermon, I started asking questions ... lots of questions. As you grow up, you expect your parents to have the answers, and I know parents like to give them. However, kids *hear* *everything* ... they *remember* everything (at least during childhood :-) ... or at least I did) ... I even remember a moment where I told myself not to forget that I was not a child in my mind [at 6-7]. I still can't remember specifically why, but I know it was after feeling like I was being unjustly treated like a child ... and being unable to make them see that. From this perspective, I feel this is probably something important to consider as a parent.

I know my parents meant well, but even Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy were troublesome for me, as my parents were strict about honesty (from me), but told me these characters were real. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the spirit of the seasons of holidays, and to be honest with myself even wouldn't trade those many moments for the world. I will suggest this though, when your child asks a question, know they will hear other information, so make sure you are comfortable with what you tell them and that it is what you genuinely believe (including that you don't know).

I don't know how many relatives I asked (when I was young) about whether they believed Hell exists or not, but I remember long conversations with a grandmother about it, who was generally vague, but read the bible a lot. Perhaps this was part of me learning to think on my own, I don't know. One stop on this path was when engaging in discussions about Hell (or God for that matter) my sharing my own thoughts at the time:

1. if God is omnipotent (transcends time and space) and created both people and Hell, knowing in omnipotence that the people would 'sin', but does it anyway, doesn't that make him a sadist for having created us at all?
2. Isn't it better that I do the 'right' thing because I believe it is the right thing to do rather than because I am afraid to burn in Hell for eternity?

Mind you it has been a long time since those discussions were had, and LOO and much *much* seeking in the meantime has altered my philosophical perspective here in 3D. [It had always been before that I have an open mind, and know there must be something greater, but will not accept the dogma on faith]

The best lesson I ever learned in life and the one I remembered most which I actually heard in school (not knowing it's 'origin(s)' at the time) was The Golden Rule. This 'Do unto others as you would have done unto you' thought stuck with me, along with the Indian version of Do not judge another until you have walked a mile in their moccasins. [Lone Ranger? ... not sure where I heard it :-)]. I know I used it many times in dealing with and conteplating dealing with others and it has been a tool I used on my own it rang so true to me. I find in thinking about it now that it seems like the same thing Ra suggests in LOO in seeing the self when looking at others. I would suggest the Golden Rule not just as a great lesson, but as a tool to use yourself when teaching (and learning from) your children, remembering humility when you do not know the answer, rather than making something up. Teach them the way you would want to be taught. Tell them the truths you would tell yourself. Discipline them as you would wish yourself disciplined. I think attitude is everything ... and one of the things I remember positively on reflection about my relationship with my father was that he talked with me like a young adult growing up, not down to me. My teachers all saw this, but I think it bothered some because I considered myself equal to them [not disrespectful mind, just that my thoughts were as important as theirs in the absence of knowledge]. I think I have a Socratic philosophy (question authority) with regard to Authority, always have -- it's been one of my challenges in life [perhaps trying to balance love and wisdom].

Peace and Joy,

Jason

[Lorna]

what a lot of wisdom on this thread! i suspect i shall be revisiting it often

parenting has illustrated to me very much of the concept of teaching/learning - children are such mirrors and parenting is a fascinating journey

i also wanted to share - when my son was a little over 1 year old he kept going over to my bookcase and examining the Law of One books - no other books - he kept pulling them out of the bookcase, stacking them up, opening them up to 'read' them

i took some photos the first time he did it http://s100.photobucket.com/albums/m15/b...CF6717.jpg

he doesn't do it any more becasue i started storing the 'scary' vacumn cleaner there.... i wonder if he'd still be drawn to them

[fairyfarmgirl]

i also wanted to share - when my son was a little over 1 year old he kept going over to my bookcase and examining the Law of One books - no other books - he kept pulling them out of the bookcase, stacking them up, opening them up to 'read' them

i took some photos the first time he did it http://s100.photobucket.com/albums/m15/b...CF6717.jpg

he doesn't do it any more becasue i started storing the 'scary' vacumn cleaner there.... i wonder if he'd still be drawn to them

My twins do this as well. They recently pulled out the "Power of Now" and told me about it... most of what I got was "pretty Good!" So I sat down and began to reread it... and they nodded thier little heads yes and sat down in my lap... which meant I could not read the book... How is that for being in the Now.... LOL

fairyfarmgirl

[ayadew]

How lovely, little people reading the LOO books. ^^

[litllady]

Hey all!

Ive been trying to come back to threads that I have read and have been meaning to become a part of.

First I want to say that I am now encouraged to buy the Law of One books so that they are easily assessable to my children. I have always used the web for reading it but I can see now that it would be ok for me to have these books laying around the house. Coming from a home where the Bible was THE book, I am still untwisting a formed knot in my mind that certain things are unacceptable, one of those things was having other materials in my home. I have plenty of books that some I have slowly let find its way from its hiding place sense the children are full of questions these days. Im thinking I have a knew something on my x-mas list

My children are such a part of me. Im not sure if they are here for me more so then I am here for them! They have brought so many awakenings to me, I just hope I can offer the same for them. I love seeing them find love. For this, I somewhat am more of a friend when I need to be the leader. But it has balanced out well. Im not a stickler for much, but I do think a home is a foundation for growth, for whom ever dwells there (at least this is what I hope for). There are two words that are not allowed in my home that are common words for many homes....which is 'stupid' or 'shut up' (ok, that is 3 words). I dont allow belittling or someone watching someone else be busy. Alot of the values I have did not come into form until I had children in my home and become responsible for them. There are so many little things that can make big impressions.

I think children see 'what we live for'. They will see if you live for money, pride and power, kindness, or love....they will see. Teach them to stand up for themselves because they have reasons to be what they are. Set examples for them to learn how to do this in a loving way. Be kids with them! This is so important. My father was this role for me, he came to my level many times, free from adult bounds, it gave me so much love. My mother was the leader in the home, making choices...but always resolved everything with my father first. They were the greatest team I have ever known and am so blessed. My children see me help my parents, and love my brother unconditionally even though much strife has been caused there.

There are great movies out today that allow childrens fantasies to run and I think this is a great way for a parent to 'come to a child's level' and enjoy stillness with them in their wave of time. I have 2 children becoming adolescences now...and this is so new to me. The largest battle of today is they are always wanting to go stay the night with friends. I dont find this to be a great habit for every weekend but I also want them to have freedoms. I usually give in for the sleep over to be at our house, so I have my eye o things. When my children have to read books for school, I try to make time to also read the book so we have a common discussion. The balancing of being a parent to a child as well as being a self for another self....is tough but joyous

Anytime my kids ask me about spiritual things, I always include my thoughts as not a fact, but my own personal understandings. I think my family has been incarnating for a while together now. I believe this now more then ever.

Hope to add some actual thoughts here besides rambles soon....I am learning every day about how to incorporate the reflection to my children that we are all a part of a one, to harm another is to harm a self.

Ramblin on
Lynette

[litllady]

So I finished my earlier comment to the thread....and I had a nice surprise today from my daughter right after I posted, I must share.

My daughter has been asking for some money this weekend for a book fair at school this week. I am always tight on money and my children adjust nicely to being thankful for what they have. I really didnt have the extra money to give, but I went ahead and gave her 5 dollars (which is nothing these days I know) this morning which was 5 dollars out of my bill money put back. She came home today and had spent the entire 5 dollars, which was all the money she had....on her little brother. She bought him a giant sponge bob coloring activity book. She was so excited to give it to him and tell him that sissy got him something.

This same scenario has happened several times before, but with different outcomes. She has been given money before for similar situations...and then spent it all even if that meant buying 5 pencils a dollar a piece....or buying 20 pieces of gum cause that is how much money she had in her pocket and she felt the need for it to be spent. She is growing up so nicely....and the synch for my earlier posts, in this thread, and her making the choice she made today, was all golden for me. Will have to be sure her and I spend time tonight showing little brother his new book and how much we want to share it with him.

Love to all

[fairyfarmgirl]

My wild pack of Indigos are such a triggering force in my life. As a parent one has to be constantly posturing in order to get the kiddos not to do each other in. It is exhausting with all this conflict resolution continously going on.

Although since I have enacted behavioral positive reinforcement (essentially a bribe chart) things have improved. But the motivation for peaceful behavior is extrinsic instead of intrinsic. I fantasize what is it like to have introverted sitting all day and staring into space kids... I watch my neighbors kids across the road and all they do is sit all day and stare into space. No fence around their yard. Not boisterous yelling. No trying to take everything apart. No climbing the curtains to discover that the weight limit is beyond the curtains capacity... I envy people whose house is neat and tidy and without the wall paper torn down by kiddos that find a crack in the wall and pick, pick, pick at it... gosh... what would it be like to have complacent nearly comatose complient children?

The fine line is between Love and discipline. Talking about it does not work nor does any type of parental grumpiness. So it is an intense parenting experience for me at this time.

--fairyfarmgirl

[Lorna]

ah but where's the challenge in an introverted chid who sits staring into space all day
(i say having just breathed a sigh of relief that alexander has finally gone to bed...)

[Questioner]

Great thread. I'm not a parent so I'll only comment briefly.

irpsit, I think your questions, about whether to end unbalanced relationships, really deserve their own thread. There's a lot to discuss there, whether or not kids are involved.

As I say every chance I get, I love the Law of One's "universal disclaimer" - basically, by all means take and use what resonates with you as helpful to your spiritual journey, as constructive ways to understand life and to find the love in each moment. Meanwhile, if anything does not resonate with you, set it aside; trusting that Heaven is big enough for truth to reach your heart another way, if this message is not what you need today.

Any approach with this much respect does not need to be pushed, decreed or proselytized. It merely has to be offered so that others can, if they wish, get a taste and decide if they want to fill their plates for a second helping.

Some people will find some parts of it appealing. Some people will find it helps them decide that they want to escalate a life of spiritual evolution through increased polarity - some to be of more service to their fellow man, a few to be more haughty in their own close-hearted greed.

Either way, whatever we teach on a human level is merely a catalyst that interacts with their Higher Self's soul goals, with their own level of human interest and experience. It even interacts with whether they are in a bad mood, or have a happy tummy because of a nice peanut butter sandwich. So what we can do is to live by what we believe, and share the content of our faith when there is an opening.

I feel that all the examples on this thread show wonderfully respect for parental guidance, nurture, and love, along with respect for whatever the kids wish to learn at their own pace.

[fairyfarmgirl]

Well, I could live without the violent temper tantrums in the market, out walking, playing in the yard, before bed, upon waking up, before eating (chair wars). It is a bit much for me-- and rather embarrassing that people are now rated my parenting based on high stress situations-- even the neighbors are talking... "how come she can't control those kids." When I do assert myself I find I have to yell and posture to be heard and heeded. This is not my natural state and I would like it to cease! :

They refuse to sleep through the night... evedryone is up at odd hours and that means I am too! It is just getting to be a bit much! If I leave them in their rooms they scream as if being racked and all the neighbors lights go on. Someone is eventually going to call the cops... and more embarrassment--- not to mention a hassle! I remeber seeing a show called th "nanny" or somthing like that where the triplets were running the household as well. It has not gottne to that point yet--- but I just abhore yelling! I feel sad that I am unable to address this issues with compassionate speech---

Perhaps I need a vacation--- LOL as if any mother or primary caregiver gets a vacation--- ever! :@

--fairyfarmgirl

[Questioner]

ffg, this points out something that is truly screwed up big-time in our current society.

From an evolutionary point of view, humans should live in extended families that interlock into tribes or packs. Immediate group of about a dozen, next larger network of a hundred. This works so well for hunter-gatherers, and for agricultural villages. Because it is what we need and are "wired" for, it is why we are comfortable working in departments or teams of a dozen people, in companies of a hundred. (Larger than that and a smart business leader will split off a division where people can still feel that they belong.)

In historical context, your three would join a larger group of kids from throughout the tribe or village, maybe 30 or so kids with a dozen adults taking turns watching over them together. That way, you could get your nap, the kids would still have someone aware of what's going on. When you're back up your kids and some other kids could benefit from your loving guidance, happiness at their discoveries, and wisdom... and the next mom or dad with a stay at home day can get their break. By stay at home, I mean in the village rather than out on the farms, or in camp rather than out on the hunt.

This approach worked flawlessly from caves and plains, all the way up to the senoras with the pillow on the window while they looked out over stickball on the block, or the uncles chatting on the front porch and with passers-by. It is something we have lost in both isolated rural living, and in suburbia, as well as in anonymous cities. The segmentation has economic benefit for those who can hire cheap, mobile, disposable labor, but it doesn't serve any generation's highest and best growth.

I don't think Ra specifically discusses this, but thank you for letting me get in my rant of the day.