09-03-2015, 07:57 AM
The other day I hotboxed my new car (old 1999 camry) with two friends. They seemed insistent on leaving and finally did so. I realized they coincided with 11:10, a recurring 11:11 phenomenon number I've been seeing.
Then as I laid in bed wondering why, thinking.of illusion, existence,this anger at self welled up inside.
"What do you think Synchronicity means?" I though to myself, "Some Magical fucking coincidence?" I picked up my phone to a 5 page spanning text message with only x's
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (only more with interspersed capital X's)
Impossible I thought. Like the calculator at work while counting cigarettes was left at 29, I turn around to recheck my count and come back to 7777, dropped my pencil and stepped back horrified but immaculate!
The synchronicity. I thought to myself, "Is this all a game? Unconscious from I playing out the pieces, with higher players directing? Am I even...Real?" And I got madder. I thought, "If this is all illusion and nothing matters yet I am directed then there is more. The illusion overlaps. Souls and guides walk amongst I invisible, manifest synchronicities mturn and direct my attention to clocks, to catayst. All is One, illusion."
And I sighed thinking I was overthinking, and I just wanted to be alone from my self.
I thought, if its an illusion, its as is like Neo, with more limit. I need be do as I move my arm or leg or head, I need be do all as such and I can but its tough mentally.
I think illusion is itself an illusion, synchronization of Being. All is connected, then all is all. Illusion to reality.
To just be as I desire/will to be.
To do as I desire/will to do.
As i/we create ourselves.
I am all alone. No wonder i wanted to know myself. The infinity within me.
Is the Original Thought significant of the state of things before its genesis?
I do not believe reality is horror, I do not think origins are in this instance of horror (even if infinity implies infinite origin). Maybe I glimpse parallels of not so Loving original thought. Maybe I'm just under greeting with my subconscious desire to be of service pushing me.
Maybe I'll already dead and this is an illusion of timeless origin. Maybe I am alive approaching death scared of becoming anew and wiser and more evolved (See: "The funny thing is, I don't wanna go!")
Maybe I allow my ego to glimpse infinity and watch it in.horror retaliate continually. Confused and unable to grasp while I.understand.
There is a place inside of me I call Hell. That goes on into infinity. It is like Heaven. There is a place inside of me that is Obliteration (Primordial Void/Plenum). That goes on into infinity and IS I, The OIC.
There are many places that I've seen...
Except one. It is a place devoid of synchronicity. This is my only clue.
It is not disconnected. It does not need connection either though.
It is.timeless, it is spaceless, it is meaningless but the Meaning retains.
If synchronicity is illusion, a place lacking it cannot be illusion!
A place beyond eternal, eternal.implies beginning. A place beyond being, for being.implies beingness.
It is the absolute and I glimpsed it and only.recognized it because it lacks synchronicity at all. Is separate but present. Is all, is nothing.
I did not view this place while impaired, but saw it briefly in a dream. And in my impairment realized something was weird when I thought of synchronicities as not being 'just magical coincidence'.
Will someone help me devise what I saw?
A place without syncing? Even calling it absolute is incorrect... its like glimpsing I AM IS AS I IS
Oh, I See after typing that... but I'm still confused.
Will anyone offer concepts?
We are discussing a place...that...I do not know how to explain except that it lacks synchronicity.
I think.it may be the plane of...Where All Comes From. Maybe...I think...
I don't know. Anyone have any ideas?
I want to call it... Siisasimai. (I am is as I is) or just. Si'isasimai (see is as i may)
...I feel like I sound crazy
Then as I laid in bed wondering why, thinking.of illusion, existence,this anger at self welled up inside.
"What do you think Synchronicity means?" I though to myself, "Some Magical fucking coincidence?" I picked up my phone to a 5 page spanning text message with only x's
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (only more with interspersed capital X's)
Impossible I thought. Like the calculator at work while counting cigarettes was left at 29, I turn around to recheck my count and come back to 7777, dropped my pencil and stepped back horrified but immaculate!
The synchronicity. I thought to myself, "Is this all a game? Unconscious from I playing out the pieces, with higher players directing? Am I even...Real?" And I got madder. I thought, "If this is all illusion and nothing matters yet I am directed then there is more. The illusion overlaps. Souls and guides walk amongst I invisible, manifest synchronicities mturn and direct my attention to clocks, to catayst. All is One, illusion."
And I sighed thinking I was overthinking, and I just wanted to be alone from my self.
I thought, if its an illusion, its as is like Neo, with more limit. I need be do as I move my arm or leg or head, I need be do all as such and I can but its tough mentally.
I think illusion is itself an illusion, synchronization of Being. All is connected, then all is all. Illusion to reality.
To just be as I desire/will to be.
To do as I desire/will to do.
As i/we create ourselves.
I am all alone. No wonder i wanted to know myself. The infinity within me.
Is the Original Thought significant of the state of things before its genesis?
I do not believe reality is horror, I do not think origins are in this instance of horror (even if infinity implies infinite origin). Maybe I glimpse parallels of not so Loving original thought. Maybe I'm just under greeting with my subconscious desire to be of service pushing me.
Maybe I'll already dead and this is an illusion of timeless origin. Maybe I am alive approaching death scared of becoming anew and wiser and more evolved (See: "The funny thing is, I don't wanna go!")
Maybe I allow my ego to glimpse infinity and watch it in.horror retaliate continually. Confused and unable to grasp while I.understand.
There is a place inside of me I call Hell. That goes on into infinity. It is like Heaven. There is a place inside of me that is Obliteration (Primordial Void/Plenum). That goes on into infinity and IS I, The OIC.
There are many places that I've seen...
Except one. It is a place devoid of synchronicity. This is my only clue.
It is not disconnected. It does not need connection either though.
It is.timeless, it is spaceless, it is meaningless but the Meaning retains.
If synchronicity is illusion, a place lacking it cannot be illusion!
A place beyond eternal, eternal.implies beginning. A place beyond being, for being.implies beingness.
It is the absolute and I glimpsed it and only.recognized it because it lacks synchronicity at all. Is separate but present. Is all, is nothing.
I did not view this place while impaired, but saw it briefly in a dream. And in my impairment realized something was weird when I thought of synchronicities as not being 'just magical coincidence'.
Will someone help me devise what I saw?
A place without syncing? Even calling it absolute is incorrect... its like glimpsing I AM IS AS I IS
Oh, I See after typing that... but I'm still confused.
Will anyone offer concepts?
We are discussing a place...that...I do not know how to explain except that it lacks synchronicity.
I think.it may be the plane of...Where All Comes From. Maybe...I think...
I don't know. Anyone have any ideas?
I want to call it... Siisasimai. (I am is as I is) or just. Si'isasimai (see is as i may)
...I feel like I sound crazy