Self-esteem / Confidence

[JoshC]

Heya guys, how's it goin? Well, I hope! (If not, what's up?)

A series of events have unfolded this summer revealing to me that I'm quite insecure and unconfident and that I have low self-esteem. I've done some work on it in the past, and it's a bit better, but deep down I still have problems in these areas... At the moment I'm actively making a salad, but more importantly I'm searching via Google/Yahoo/etc methods on improving myself in these areas.

Literally just now something came up that also reminded me that I have built some hefty defenses to block out my insecurities - my dad and sister just left for two and a half weeks and I actually miss them and told them I miss them - not normal for me to come even remotely close to talking about my emotions openly. Actually it's not even normal for me to miss my family, but I digress!

Basically I was wondering two things:

• Have you guys any experience in these areas? What have you done in these areas for yourselves? Have any advice, or know of anything that anyone you know has done? Suggestions for me? Etc
  
• Do you guys know of any material in the LOO books or in the channellings library that addresses these points? I don't doubt there's stuff in the latter area, but I've yet to find it...
  

Much love

[Questioner]

At the risk of tooting my own horn, I suspect you might find my Enneagram series helpful - it's in this same subforum. The first few messages deal with my own situation and the extended Enneagram tutorial series (about halfway completed so far) starts at post 8. I am backlogged on making essays to continue the series but if you find anything useful to you there, I'd be happy to respond in that discussion thread to any comments or questions you might have.

[norral]

josh
i would recommend looking at flower essences. here is a link
http://www.spirit-in-nature.com/free-onl...ssence.php
check out their strawberry and also the orange and pineapple
all the best

norral

[Shemaya]

Hi Josh,

I have had to work with this issue quite a bit. From my experience, lack of confidence and self-esteem arises from your conditioning during childhood, and is constantly reinforced as you go through life.

We are taught by religion that we are a sinners, and God rejects you because of your sin. The truth is in our 3-d bodies we make many many mistakes, but the Creator never rejects us, the creator loves us unconditionally.

We are taught by our schools that we are worthy if we attain high grades by repeating information that we are taught by a system of education. We are not necessarily taught to think for ourselves or to trust our own guidance and intuition.

Our parents often have damaged our self-esteem by using methods of disclipline in which their heart energy was blocked. For me personally, this was the most damaging to my self-esteem. Because your relationship with your parents is so primary, this has a very deep programming affect on you. So in your subconscious there are many triggers that cause reactions that may be perceived as "unloving" and then feed your self-judgement.

One key to healing is self-acceptance and self-forgiveness and self-love. And a will to release and transform these reactive behaviors that may be binding you in a cycle of self-judgement and self-hate. This is the energy work of opening up blockages in your chakras. There are many L/L Research channelings that speak of chakra work. You may also search for "self-love" and "self-forgiveness".

The other key is being fully grounded in the knowing that you are loved fully, completely and totally as you are. God loves you unconditionally. There is NOTHING that you can do or say that will ever separate you from God's love. You are a divine spark of the one, a child of the One Creator.

Think about that and feel how it opens your heart and then have gratitude!

I hope this helps Josh!

[norral]

wonderful words Shemaya !!!

thanks for sharing

norral

[unity100]

there is nothing called 'self esteem' as far as i understand it. you either do things, or you dont. you do not contemplate 'can i'. if you want to do something, you just start doing it. you may fail in the way. but that is not relevant to your want, need, will. if you want to do something, you do it.

but there is also the important case of wisdom situations ; you want to make x manifest, happen. but, are the conditions susceptible for this ? are they suitable ? ie, like, can you move everest mountain on your back from tibet to peru with your 3d body ?

you cant. but, that is not something related to self esteem. that is wisdom - the way the rules and laws of universe is created, causes them to act as thus.

its not different with emotions, people, energies. things, may just not be suitable for a certain event in a certain point.

you may push hard like maniacs, and make it happen, overcoming great difficulties. but, that would then just be forcing something to happen despite the flow of life doesnt want it to happen at that particular point. consequences would naturally follow.

[Lorna]

hey josh, questionner's series of articles on the enneagram is fabulous - much to be learned there
i wonder whether your labeling of yourself as having self esteem / confidence issues is counter productive - how do you feel if you change your terminology to humble / meek

self esteem / confidence issues implies a lack, a weakness etc
humble / meek describes a state of being which is not weak, rather it is a quiet, unassuming manner and response to life and a perfectly normal response for a wanderer encountering the harshness of 3d life

remember that you are, right now, perfect

[Brittany]

I've struggled with extremely low self esteem pretty much my entire life. Probably because people were calling me crazy before I even knew what that word meant. I was never able to get on the train of what was considered "normal", or even "acceptable behavior" most of the time. After years of shrinks and uneasy glances I became convinced I was defective somehow. Most of the time I still feel that way. Yesterday my boss got really angry at me for spacing out and basically called me an idiot, and that stung all day. She wanted to know what on earth I was thinking about to make such a dumb mistake and I had no way of explaining my thought process to her. It still hurts really bad, even though it's something I should just be able to let go.

Basically, I feel the need to please everyone, to be acceptable to everyone, and that just isn't going to happen. For me it's a very intricate everyday process, trying to adjust my inner views of myself, because I know just hating myself and worrying there's something wrong with me is going to do nothing to make me feel better. It's hard to know when to sacrifice in order to serve others and when you need to be true to yourself and insist on doing something your way. I have little advice in this area, seeing how I struggle with it so badly, except to just keep working on it every day, a little at a time. Self esteem, like spiritual enlightenment, isn't something that just developes overnight. It is a constantly maintained state.

I wish us both luck in our quest to love ourselves and give respect to the valuable souls that we are.

[Questioner]

Self esteem, like spiritual enlightenment, isn't something that just developes overnight. It is a constantly maintained state.

I think that's a wise thing to say. Look at working in the kitchen, or the garden. We can't say, well I washed the dishes today, so that task is handled for the rest of my life! Or, I watered the plants and pulled the weeds today, so now I can sit back and the garden will take care of itself. Taking care of ourselves, just like taking care of our environment, is a daily, moment to moment activity.

This next point might not help you while you need your current job, but I'll say it anyway. Any boss that yells at a subordinate for being stupid, any boss who thinks that berating excuses their refusal to try to learn more about the situation and how to better design the workflow... is a bad boss.

The right way to manage and supervise is to make sure each person has a clear picture of what needs to be done, plus all the tools and teamwork necessary to do the job well.

If someone does thing the wrong way, the wrong question for the boss is "How can I criticize the person so they're humiliated enough to never make another mistake?" The right question is, "How can we fix our processes, systems and education around here, so that nobody will ever be tempted to make that kind of mistake again; so that it's easy to understand the right thing to do, and everything is ready to help the worker do the right thing?"

Unless the instructions and environment were fully supportive, blaming the worker rather than fixing the system is ineffective. Unfortunately, especially in Western nations, too many bosses are nowhere close to providing clear instructions and a supportive environment.

Maybe they don't know better, because they have only lived in worked in hostile environments.

Maybe they mean well, but have never taken a class or read a book to learn how to be skillful at managing other people. (This often happens with technical experts who got "kicked upstairs" to reward their hands-on talents, but lack people skills.)

Maybe they are living a service-to-self life and score points for their side if they can make you cry. Who knows? The important thing to see is that it's unfair, unjust, and does not say anything about your worth as a person.

It can be really hard to do - much easier said than done, I know - but necessary, to separate your boss's critical moment from how you've been treated unkindly in the past. There is not some hidden defect in you that's only visible to people loving, wise, gentle and spiritually advanced enough to scream at you, dismiss you, and not even tell you what you did wrong or how to make amends!

Same thing with those who objected to your unusual behavior, without ever telling you what their standards were, or confirming that you understood their needs, or agreed with their requests and were equipped to be of service. Their harshness comes more from their own lousy, miserable failures of basically decent communication, not from any inherent flaw in you.

The brain and mind work hard to connect the dots and form patterns. However, it's important to realize that the dots do not form a line of a dagger pointed at your character. The individual dots are just times that other people, who weren't very mature or helpful themselves, lashed out at you rather than seeing you as a worthy person they could help and love. The fault is probably not in you, but in those peoples' limited ability to be helpful and loving, at least in those moments.

These emotional hooks can go deep into us, when we are vulnerable, especially as children. Take some time to talk through, pray, or journal, about the ways that your mind sees these matters. Even though the feelings are vague, turn the concepts into specific logical cause-and-effect statements you can make as an adult. "It's important to... This person said... Therefore, the inevitable conclusion is..."

Pretty soon, you will come across something where your mind says, wait a minute, that does not add up, it does not make sense, it hurts me without helping anyone, and I don't want to believe it any more!

As soon as you have that discovery, use your prayer or meditation time to ask for divine help releasing the emotional hook. Pray for heaven to help you become free of the brainwashing indoctrination. Fairyfarmgirl has some excellent material about this.

About the nature of serving others... we should discuss that more! A couple of quick ideas for a start. If your service depletes you, then it should only be done because this is the highest cause of evolution you can possibly imagine, for you and for the other people who will be blessed by your sacrifice and only yours.

The Christian account of Jesus is this way. Although he would have preferred to avoid the suffering, his sacrifice created a memorable example of unconditional love and service that still resonates today. (And according to Christian theology, only he could have had the suffering that made the rest of humanity right with God.)

The Buddhist account is the same: after he was enlightened, the Buddha could well have simply left any further involvement with this plane of suffering. Out of compassion for those who did not yet understand how to become free, he stayed so that he could teach.

Now compare that to dealing with your boss. If you make yourself feel like a miserable, worthless worm, rather than speaking up for the need for clearer instructions at work; or if you let yourself be criticized and berated, far beyond anything necessary to fix the business issue at hand; how does that help enlighten all of humanity? How does that promote your own spiritual evolution? How does it help your boss, your colleagues, vendors and customers to experience the grace and beauty of love in each moment? Obviously, it doesn't.

In terms of a job, I believe the spiritual path is to love all the people and details we can make better in each moment of work... and then, to leave the day's work and be fully present with those who can love us at home.

I hope something in here is helpful to you. For anything that doesn't resonate at a loving and helpful level in your spirit, please feel free to set it aside. (Wouldn't it make work so much happier if our bosses would always say that?)

[unity100]

this seems to be a 5th, blue ray work issue.

ra says 5th work is a work of intensification, and focus. this coincides with this.

so basically it boils down to having an aim, target, focus in life and all activities. its about staying focused. self esteem becomes irrelevant after that -> you just walk towards your focus. even if you fall down, you get up and walk towards your focus. you dont think what you can. you just do whatever you can. and keep doing, trying.

[Peregrinus]

Self esteem is an orange ray issue, relationship with self and other-self.

15.12 Ra: ... The next energy complex, which may be blocked is the emotional, or personal complex, also known as the orange-ray complex. This blockage will often demonstrate itself as personal eccentricities or distortions with regard to self-conscious understanding or acceptance of self.

[βαθμιαίος]

It can also have to do with indigo ray. From the same quote (15.12): "The next center is the pineal or indigo-ray center. Those blocked in this center may experience a lessening of the influx of intelligent energy due to manifestations which appear as unworthiness."

[unity100]

Self esteem is an orange ray issue, relationship with self and other-self.

15.12 Ra: ... The next energy complex, which may be blocked is the emotional, or personal complex, also known as the orange-ray complex. This blockage will often demonstrate itself as personal eccentricities or distortions with regard to self-conscious understanding or acceptance of self.

as ba noted,

It can also have to do with indigo ray. From the same quote (15.12): "The next center is the pineal or indigo-ray center. Those blocked in this center may experience a lessening of the influx of intelligent energy due to manifestations which appear as unworthiness."

self worth, confidence are related to indigo.

self acceptance, shame etc are related with orange.

an entity may be a noticeable character (and therefore have a proper orange ray activity) but still may lack self esteem, or self worth.

[Peregrinus]

Thank you both for your help in gaining clarity on this point.

Would this color coding of the below chart then appear to be correct?

[Ali Quadir]

Confidence is something you will have to find in doing. Thinking about it in my humble opinion isn't going to make too much of a difference. The problem with confidence as it stands is that like cycling if you start to think about it or judge what you're doing while doing it you're going down.

It's a bio chemical balance. Like training your muscles visualizing doing it helps but in the end you're going to have to "just do it".

Changing it takes effort but can be done. I don't think it's done with charts or meditation. I think this one is done by learning about the nlp concept of state, learning about bio-social status, keep on pushing yourself outside your comfort zone going after goals based on the above concepts.

First things first, stand up straight, lean on your stomach muscles and the muscles in your ass in a proper pose not like a coat hanging around your curved spine.. This will strengthen the flow of energy upward and is a posture your subconscious and surroundings associate with confidence. If you're standing confident you must feel confident and the subconscious will supply those feelings within 20 minutes. Your environment will supply you with confidence stimulating acknowledgements. If you haven't done this often enough to at least note that your posture keeps reverting to it's base state you haven't been doing it long enough.

Find an example who has confidence. It doesn't have to be someone you like or look up too. It just has to be someone who is confident. A famous rapper, Robbie Williams. Whomever. Observe them, try to pick up their vibe. Project it as if it's your own. Then adjust it to to match your circumstances and desires. (If you picked a selfish guy, make yourself not selfish but equally confident)

You have to learn to see yourself as confident to become something that defaults to confidence, and the only way to do that is to experience that. So steal other peoples vibe, trick yourself into feeling confidence by posture and by going back into times where you were very confident. Anchor those into your daily experience. The more you feel it, the more natural it will be for you. Combine this by seeking out experiences that require that confidence. And after a while you will be genuinely confident it will have become your base vibe.

Here's another base exercise, never break eye contact first. Smile, communicate a friendly nature, you don't want to seem threatening, but don't break eye contact first. It's harder than it seems. And changing your current behavior will make an enormous difference.

[unity100]

that is a rather ambitious chart. do we have enough data to pinpoint enough to fill the spectrum.

i would place enlightenment just at the start of 6th spectrum.

reason doesnt fit in with green.

moreover, somehow orange seems to be totally affiliated with negative manifestations, it is absurd. it is related to self-progress, self's needs, body needs, and relevant stuff in the normal sense.

Thank you both for your help in gaining clarity on this point.

Would this color coding of the below chart then appear to be correct?

[Ali Quadir]

that is a rather ambitious chart. do we have enough data to pinpoint enough to fill the spectrum.

I would start with the question whether emotion is actually a spectrum...

[fairyfarmgirl]

I used to suffer from low self-esteem until I got tired of being stepped on. Then I decided to observe and find out why some people were esteemed and others were reviled and they were just standing there.

What I discovered is a confident person emits an odor that says, "right on" and others want to interact with that 'right on" type of stand up person. I noticed this because when I started to stand up straight and look people in the eye (a rather challenging exercise in courage as I was imprinted to be a "traditional" female in a patriarchal household)... I discovered people would look away first and based on their intentions either run for cover or want to be my friend.

I believe we are far more influenced by scent and tones (that we may not hear but feel in our bodies) than modern society recognizes.

The looking someone in the eye is essential for changing the body chemistry that created low self esteem... it happens very quickly with diligent and consistent effort. Consistency is a factor though. Half-a$$ed effort gets half-A$$ed results.

Ali Quadir--thank you so much for the way you described this--- I agree it is not something that can be charted.

Pere and all that are charting emotions--- the Sacral Chakra is essential to the energy system as well as the Root and feet chakras. Without these we would have no furnace or passion in which to ignite our Kundalini or have any motivation in which to accomplish anything.

The Sacral Chakra is a Sacred Chakra and the Orange Ray is equally sacred. Passion is an energy and as an energy it can be used for good or ill... the matter rests in the choices that are made.

Further without the orange ray there would be no way to open the HEART or even feel anything--- including LOVE. LOVE within itself contains Passion it is part of Unity Consciousness.

--fairyfarmgirl

[Questioner]

self worth, confidence are related to indigo.

self acceptance, shame etc are related with orange.

an entity may be a noticeable character (and therefore have a proper orange ray activity) but still may lack self esteem, or self worth.

That's a great distinction. In everyday language we tend to run these concepts together. Let me see if I understand what you are saying. Do you mean that a person could suffer or not suffer from shame; and could feel self worth or not; as two separate issues at the same time. If so there might be at least two areas of their life that require healing and balance, not just one thing to change. "As soon as I'm not ashamed I'll be confident" might be too simple. Is that what you're getting at?

---

Would this color coding of the below chart then appear to be correct?

Is that the David Hawkins chart from Power versus Force?

I see what you're trying to do there. I'm not sure that the color coding fits. As I see it, the Law of One and all compatible teachings about chakras say that each chakra is our focus for one aspect of healthy, balanced living. For instance red ray energy is about feeling grounded and able to sustain our own lives in this world, and blue ray is about open communication. Yet you don't have these mapped to any keywords on the chart.

It would be interesting to discuss Hawkins's work from a Law of One perspective. When we consider the chakras, there are some interesting comparisons to his levels of spirituality. But I'm not comfortable with just adding color stripes. On the other hand, if you want to use his chart on its own terms as a tool to break out of shame and rise to confident self-esteem, I think that's great. Shame is nearly dead on his chart, while confidence would be in 200's and a great step up to higher levels of consciousness.

Even with that, I'm wary that we make confidence into another hierarchy. The whole point of shame is the feeling that whatever someone is, it's not enough. Now if we tell a shamed person that their goal of confidence is itself not enough, where does that leave them?

Maybe it would be better to say that shame is like someone else's anchor and confidence is like a sail. In order to get somewhere, let's cut off the entangling line holding us down (or in fairy farm girl's lingo, release the cord), and raise the sail.

---

Ali and Fairy, I really like the direction you're taking this thread.

What if confidence is not a noun but a verb?
What if confidence is just a label on one frame of a motion picture, like a snapshot labeled "pole vault?" Obviously you can't just wind up in the middle of that arc. It makes so much sense to me that confidence is the evidence of a behavior pattern.
You both talk about emotional changes as something that comes from moving, not from theorizing. A new self-concept is nice, but until we picture ourselves doing something new, and then physically do it, how much really changes?

This is something taught by NLP. Some NLP concepts make me itchy but I think they are right on about this: change your state of mind by moving your body in a new way. If you were confident, where would your shoulders be? How far apart would your feet be? Where would your hands be moving? How fast would they be moving? How about moving that way now, even before you feel confident, and then your body can report back a feeling of confidence? But this is just a more formalized way to do exactly what you both described.

It's really helped me to watch the Dog Whisperer show. Two thirds of his work is on getting people to use effective body language. They learn it in order to control their dogs, but they wind up as more effective human beings.

[fairyfarmgirl]

Q-- I Love watching the Dog Whisperer as well. I find his techniques of working with the Humans benefit the dogs very much. It really should be called "The Human Whisperer" but I think most would find that offensive... LOL

In my experience, creation requires a mix of intention, passion-Love emotion, and action. Creation requires proactive interaction with the reality that you are choosing to create. Tom Kenyon calls this Time Lines, Alex Collier calls these Domains of Knowing.

That is my Salt since this is Josh C's Thread.

fairyfarmgirl

[Questioner]

It's funny that almost every episode, people start with all kinds of complaints about the dogs. By the end of his time with the client, Cesar says, "The dogs are doing fine of course, I knew they would once they got around a healthy pack, but I'm so proud of you!" and the client just can't get enough. Speak! Lead! Demonstrate calmness! Good human!

[Ali Quadir]

What I discovered is a confident person emits an odor that says, "right on" and others want to interact with that 'right on" type of stand up person. I noticed this because when I started to stand up straight and look people in the eye (a rather challenging exercise in courage as I was imprinted to be a "traditional" female in a patriarchal household)...

I was imprinted as a pup in a patriarchal household with a very strong alpha, there's only space for one alpha male. Not that anyone was "a bad person" it's just the way us mammals work.

I like your smell analogy... That's exactly how it is. Did you notice that as soon as people start acknowledging the smell it actually gets stronger? It's a dynamic process I think. The recognized alpha person is strengthened in his role by the response of those around him.

I find that it helped me tremendously to look at evolutionary sociology to solve this problem for me. There is a normal evolutionary reason for what we do. And we can look at evolution to learn what we need to do differently to escape our lot in life.

What if confidence is not a noun but a verb?

It most certainly is. It is subconscious behavior for most, but it still is behavior.

This is something taught by NLP. Some NLP concepts make me itchy but I think they are right on about this: change your state of mind by moving your body in a new way. If you were confident, where would your shoulders be? How far apart would your feet be? Where would your hands be moving? How fast would they be moving? How about moving that way now, even before you feel confident, and then your body can report back a feeling of confidence? But this is just a more formalized way to do exactly what you both described.

It is a perfect example. I recommend your formal way to anyone who wants to try to kick start his confidence... Your body posture influences your mind. If you are sad but smiling you'll be starting to release neuro transmitters associated with the smile. This knowledge is to our benefit. Stand up straight, broaden those shoulders. Move slightly slower, lower your voice. Look people straight in the eye.

Avoid expressing agression. Confidence and agression are close. I almost got in a fight the other day with a guy who mistook a confident smile with a staring match. He really started to posture, puffed up chest, staring me down... I wasn't interested in proving anything so I looked down, made myself small, scurried around a corner and laughed my ass off when I saw him wander of with his still puffed up gorilla chest and his head high in the air... My dog expresses the same vibe when she's warned off an invader.

It's much more fun when you know how it works. And smart people tend to be better at it, but only after they figure out how it works. Before that their tendency to be in their head only hinders their confidence. Confidence has nothing to do with logic what so ever. It's a primitive mammalian language.

It's really helped me to watch the Dog Whisperer show. Two thirds of his work is on getting people to use effective body language. They learn it in order to control their dogs, but they wind up as more effective human beings.

A great recommendation... Animals are extremely sensitive to what fairyfarmgirl calls this odor. Dogs always recognize the high status individuals in groups.

[fairyfarmgirl]

Ali Quadir and All:

The other day I went to the beach with my offspring and a dog that was walking its human came up to my children, puffed up and growled... tail position and "odor" of the dog indicated a bite scenario unfolding. I got inbetween the dog and the children and stared the dog in the eye and growled and deep barked like a German short hair. The dog submitted upon which I grapped it by the back of the neck and pinned it to the ground. Upon which the dog whined and began to lick my hand as if to say... "thank the Goddess you are in charge I have been dragging this human all over the place and I am just so confused!"

Then I spoke to the man who was apologizing profusely about how to be a good pack leader. Much can be learned from observing the alphas in a pack. I believe this is central to our basic programming-- I then insisted for the safety of others on the beach to practice being in charge with his dog while I guided him. In the end, he returned to his walk in better control of his dog and himself---

Ali Quadir-- thank you for pointing out that confidence and aggression are different things! This is often confused.

The kids all said "only doggies mommy knows can we talk to!" LOL

fairyfarmgirl


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[Peregrinus]

Yes that is Dr. David Hawkings "Map of Consciousness".

Doe this look better? I am simply trying to see what correspondence there is between the rays and consciousness, as it does appear to me to have a great correlation...

[Questioner]

P, I recommend a new thread on Hawkins and the chakras/rays. I want to make sure that Josh, Shemaya and Ahktu are getting the help they wanted with their own self-confidence issues. Hey guys, is this thread serving your needs?

[unity100]

That's a great distinction. In everyday language we tend to run these concepts together. Let me see if I understand what you are saying. Do you mean that a person could suffer or not suffer from shame; and could feel self worth or not; as two separate issues at the same time. If so there might be at least two areas of their life that require healing and balance, not just one thing to change. "As soon as I'm not ashamed I'll be confident" might be too simple. Is that what you're getting at?

---

im saying its possible for an entity to feel various self-acceptance issues related to orange ray.

and, an entity may still have self esteem issues, even if s/he doesnt have any issues accepting his/her own personality and manifesting it.

an entity who has orange ray issues in that regard, ie, lack of, should be more easily taken by self esteem issues, but, s/he actually may not be even caring for that because s/he would have problems with self acceptance, knowing first.

[Questioner]

Still not quite sure I follow all of this, unity. If what you mean is that there can be multiple levels of issues, within the whole category of self-esteem, confidence, shame, feelings of worth, etc. - that might each need their own healing - then I totally agree.

[unity100]

i say acceptance of self, things related to functioning and progression of self, various self related desires are related to orange.

and self confidence, self esteem, these are more related to indigo. worth/worthlessness and their derivatives.

[JoshC]

Hey guys, thanks for all the posts I'll write in-depth responses to each of the posts, series of posts, or overarching ideas as I find time.

Until then, Love and Light

Edit: The stuff that you guys are talking about that isn't strictly dealing with the topic in the OP is fascinating, but if it needs be that the posts are separated into a different thread, could a mod take care of it? I'm not terribly familiar with the distinctions and where the lines are drawn, but I have no preference either way as to whether or not the posts are moved.

[@ndy]

Ali Quadir and All:

The other day I went to the beach with my offspring and a dog that was walking its human came up to my children, puffed up and growled... tail position and "odor" of the dog indicated a bite scenario unfolding. I got inbetween the dog and the children and stared the dog in the eye and growled and deep barked like a German short hair. The dog submitted upon which I grapped it by the back of the neck and pinned it to the ground. Upon which the dog whined and began to lick my hand as if to say... "thank the Goddess you are in charge I have been dragging this human all over the place and I am just so confused!"

Then I spoke to the man who was apologizing profusely about how to be a good pack leader. Much can be learned from observing the alphas in a pack. I believe this is central to our basic programming-- I then insisted for the safety of others on the beach to practice being in charge with his dog while I guided him. In the end, he returned to his walk in better control of his dog and himself---

Ali Quadir-- thank you for pointing out that confidence and aggression are different things! This is often confused.

The kids all said "only doggies mommy knows can we talk to!" LOL

fairyfarmgirl

That's lovely! I absolutely understand what you are saying; my uncle is a dog behaviourist. I see it all the time at the vets too
I'm not so great with dogs - I get on fine with them and have never had issues with them. I've worked with colleagues like you who can walk into the kennel room were an huge dog is going bananas guarding it's cage and shut the door and come out with the dog on the lead. I know the reason I can't do that is confidence, but if I was protecting my children I've no doubt I might find it
I'm a cat person myself, I'd take a wild/feral cat over defensive dog any day. A totally different approach that fits better with me - which is handy anyway as most people in vet's are 'dog' people.