Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
10-22-2017, 05:25 AM,
#1
Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
I don't mean to complain or anything.

Just felt like writing about some of the difficulties I'm facing in my spiritual path. (yellow ray issues)

I've been let down by people around me time after time since I can remember. it started in my childhood. I still think most of my childhood friends were evil and mostly garbage.. even though it might be difficult to imagine a child being evil.

I'm nearly 28 Now and I've lost all hope in the majority of earth inhabitants.
Maybe it's just that my countrymen are terrible.. I really do hope foreigners are better. I've just never been anywhere else.. but I'm sure this is one of the worst countries with respect to morality.
Since the only kind of people I may like are on the internet and not from this country.

So these people.. I'm totally disgusted by their baseness, stupidity, prejudices, selfishness, treachery, judgement, lack of discernment, and .......the list goes on. and can't do anything about the way I feel.

The only thing that keeps me going now is the thought that only a very small portion of the creation including most of the people I interact with are this low.
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10-22-2017, 06:59 AM, (This post was last modified: 10-22-2017, 07:13 AM by Quan.)
#2
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(10-22-2017, 05:25 AM)Cainite Wrote:  I don't mean to complain or anything.

Just felt like writing about some of the difficulties I'm facing in my spiritual path. (yellow ray issues)

I've been let down by people around me time after time since I can remember. it started in my childhood. I still think most of my childhood friends were evil and mostly garbage.. even though it might be difficult to imagine a child being evil.

I'm nearly 28 Now and I've lost all hope in the majority of earth inhabitants.
Maybe it's just that my countrymen are terrible.. I really do hope foreigners are better. I've just never been anywhere else.. but I'm sure this is one of the worst countries with respect to morality.
Since the only kind of people I may like are on the internet and not from this country.

So these people.. I'm totally disgusted by their baseness, stupidity, prejudices, selfishness, treachery, judgement, lack of discernment, and .......the list goes on. and can't do anything about the way I feel.

The only thing that keeps me going now is the thought that only a very small portion of the creation including most of the people I interact with are this low.
Yes dont trust or like anyone, its not about the personality shell...  third density is built to do this, cause confusion.
Just trust inthe love that flows through and is us all.

80.11 Questioner: Could I say, then, that implicit in the process of becoming adept is the possible partial polarization towards service to self because simply the adept becomes disassociated with many of his kind or like in the particular density which he inhabits?

Ra: I am Ra. This is likely to occur. The apparent happening is disassociation whether the truth is service to self and thus true disassociation from other-selves or service to others and thus true association with the heart of all other-selves and disassociation only from the illusory husks which prevent the adept from correctly perceiving the self and other-self as one.


80.12 Questioner: Then you say that this effect of disassociation on the service-to-others adept is a stumbling block or slowing process in reaching that goal which he aspires to? Is this correct?

Ra: I am Ra. This is incorrect. This disassociation from the miasma of illusion and misrepresentation of each and every distortion is a quite necessary portion of an adept’s path. It may be seen by others to be unfortunate.

I find the last sentence funny. my parents especially my mum is very social she sees me not socialising so much says i should be. I sometimes explain when its bought up but usually i just laugh it off and go yes mum. Relating to the heart of others an not their personality shell doesnt make a lot of sense perhaps Wink

I recommend reading the next few quotes in that session from RA if you want more details, ties in to the archetypes..
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10-22-2017, 07:16 AM,
#3
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
I'm sorry that you incarnated into such a difficult society.

Some entities accept some very difficult assignments.  

Yours sounds like a case of that.

Angel
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10-22-2017, 08:09 AM,
#4
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
I think Plenum's suggestion shouldn't be understated.  Some people have truly taken up some extreme incarnations of isolation and suffering.  You obviously cared a great deal to have incarnated into such a rough surrounding, and cared enough to put yourself through all of this for a reason.

What that reason is, most would say is to find a way to provide love to such lowly people, to bring to their vibration higher energies.

Others might say that the reason is to simply experience new things, and to probably a lot of us as souls, Earth life is somewhat incomprehensible beyond the idea that it's a very sorrowful planet, so the vividness, the depth of experience that Earth brings is a powerful learning experience.

And still others may even say you're experiencing this all because it's how you think about everything, and you're experiencing the reflection of your own internal perceptions of external reality.

But overall I think the important thing is to remember this.
Right here, now, in this very moment, those people are as you are, for all of their faults and flaws, you admit to hating them, possibly because you perceive such in yourself, but the most important thing to remember throughout all of it is that they don't know, they don't mean to, were they properly informed I'm more than sure almost everyone would shape up, if only they just knew.  So try to find forgiveness of their ignorance, and try to forgive those things in yourself you hate in others, and just try, really, really try, to remember that unless things are in that very present moment not okay, you shouldn't worry about it.

It's a lesson I'm trying to uptake now, don't worry! Don't...Worry.  Don't worry about the apathy and greedy people ruining life for everyone, or the monsters whom kidnap or rob and murder, try to focus on the good and the good makes itself known.  All of that madness and evil, to focus on it attracts it, and while you've got a plethora of guides working to deflect those attractions (unless it is otherwise an appropriate catalyst to experience...), it is still hard on everyone when you pull darkness towards you then complain of it, then continue to do so still complaining.  I had to learn this lesson, and still am, that if you don't want to experience such horrible perceptions, you need to believe, deeply truly believe, that they are just that, perceptions, and you can change how you view it all.

You can see...Light, in place of darkness, if you just believed...That all the black, was really white, and all the wrong, was really right.

The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote:Wrong is in itself right, in that it's wrong.  Thus nothing is wrong except paradoxically the concept of wrong which is both simultaneously right/wrong.
Yet All is Right including Wrong.
Yay Paradoxes!
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour
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10-22-2017, 01:31 PM, (This post was last modified: 10-22-2017, 02:00 PM by Cainite.)
#5
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(10-22-2017, 08:09 AM)Coordinate_Apotheosis Wrote:  I think Plenum's suggestion shouldn't be understated.  Some people have truly taken up some extreme incarnations of isolation and suffering.  You obviously cared a great deal to have incarnated into such a rough surrounding, and cared enough to put yourself through all of this for a reason.

What that reason is, most would say is to find a way to provide love to such lowly people, to bring to their vibration higher energies.

I remember everyone telling others or even myself that I'm naive, innocent. I was frowned upon since childhood for having honor. what other kids lacked in school and now they lack the same honor that made me look dumb in their point of view as adults.

I was disgusted when my friend told me I'm naive right before he was caught stealing my bicycle for his dad to exchange it for a few grams of opium. first time he stole my first bicycle he wasn't caught. this happened at the age of 6-7. we were a very poor family and the bicycle was all I had.
then the first year of school the bully who was some years older than me, who took what I had to eat first thing every morning, he told me the same thing. that I'm naive.

This disgusts me, I never said I was angered by them.
Even if you are angered at someone who rapes for example your loved one, if you feel anger or disgust or any negative emotion, does that mean you haven't accepted the rapist inside you?

Now what these people seek is to harm me in anyway possible. and the love I provide won't be of much use to them.



Quote:It's a lesson I'm trying to uptake now, don't worry! Don't...Worry.  Don't worry about the apathy and greedy people ruining life for everyone, or the monsters whom kidnap or rob and murder, try to focus on the good and the good makes itself known.  All of that madness and evil, to focus on it attracts it, and while you've got a plethora of guides working to deflect those attractions (unless it is otherwise an appropriate catalyst to experience...), it is still hard on everyone when you pull darkness towards you then complain of it, then continue to do so still complaining.  I had to learn this lesson, and still am, that if you don't want to experience such horrible perceptions, you need to believe, deeply truly believe, that they are just that, perceptions, and you can change how you view it all.

Sorry bro, but that sounds more like ignoring the monster within, rather than accepting it.

Quote:The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote:
Wrong is in itself right, in that it's wrong.  Thus nothing is wrong except paradoxically the concept of wrong which is both simultaneously right/wrong.
Yet All is Right including Wrong.
Yay Paradoxes!

Now that's even beyond mine level of crazy. Big Grin


Btw I didn't know you were The_Tired_Philosopher. some time ago when I returned to this forum I  wanted to thank you for being there for me when I was very ill. we exchanged a few messages and posts I think.
So thanks, man. Heart  
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10-22-2017, 02:58 PM, (This post was last modified: 10-22-2017, 03:12 PM by xise.)
#6
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(10-22-2017, 05:25 AM)Cainite Wrote:  Just felt like writing about some of the difficulties I'm facing in my spiritual path. (yellow ray issues)

I've been let down by people around me time after time since I can remember. it started in my childhood. I still think most of my childhood friends were evil and mostly garbage.. even though it might be difficult to imagine a child being evil.

I'm nearly 28 Now and I've lost all hope in the majority of earth inhabitants.
Maybe it's just that my countrymen are terrible.. I really do hope foreigners are better. I've just never been anywhere else.. but I'm sure this is one of the worst countries with respect to morality.
Since the only kind of people I may like are on the internet and not from this country.

So these people.. I'm totally disgusted by their baseness, stupidity, prejudices, selfishness, treachery, judgement, lack of discernment, and .......the list goes on. and can't do anything about the way I feel.

The only thing that keeps me going now is the thought that only a very small portion of the creation including most of the people I interact with are this low.

If it's a repeating pattern from early age, there's probably a life lesson or even a pre-incarnative planned lesson there. Although I've always seen dealing with individuals you know as orange ray, and yellow ray to be about groups or views of society, so perhaps there are both orange and yellow aspects of this.

That being said, I think it is natural (but still a lesson) to feel some yellow ray discomfort since so many of us are so different than most of the society - global and often local - around us. I do feel a bit of what you feel, and there seems to be a pull to either think more like the society around us to feel accepted (which may be natural but I think is backward when it comes to orange/yellow evolution) or work on understanding and accepting the vast majority of society which still is 3D (green), and just accept that our path seems to be a relatively more lonely one when it comes to true friendship/intimacy...

That latter part is mainly orange/yellow; maybe not completely lonely, but when I venture into the dating scene on a yearly basis or so, I basically feel I have to put my wish for someone interesting in spiritual evolution to the side because it's hard enough as is to find someone compatible...almost feel like I have avoid talking about spiritual stuff on even third+ dates even though it's a non-trivial part of me with the vast majority of people...I know it's killing my blue ray. I've only been a slight bit better when it comes to true friendship, because I think I programmed a childhood best friend - my best friend through my life I've known since I was 5 years old - who is also spiritual. And I did find a very spiritual recently awakened friend at work at my last job.

I'll let you know when I have a good answer brother.

Service to Others means Service to All. That includes yourself.
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10-22-2017, 03:33 PM, (This post was last modified: 10-22-2017, 03:35 PM by Cainite.)
#7
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(10-22-2017, 02:58 PM)xise Wrote:  
(10-22-2017, 05:25 AM)Cainite Wrote:  Just felt like writing about some of the difficulties I'm facing in my spiritual path. (yellow ray issues)

I've been let down by people around me time after time since I can remember. it started in my childhood. I still think most of my childhood friends were evil and mostly garbage.. even though it might be difficult to imagine a child being evil.

I'm nearly 28 Now and I've lost all hope in the majority of earth inhabitants.
Maybe it's just that my countrymen are terrible.. I really do hope foreigners are better. I've just never been anywhere else.. but I'm sure this is one of the worst countries with respect to morality.
Since the only kind of people I may like are on the internet and not from this country.

So these people.. I'm totally disgusted by their baseness, stupidity, prejudices, selfishness, treachery, judgement, lack of discernment, and .......the list goes on. and can't do anything about the way I feel.

The only thing that keeps me going now is the thought that only a very small portion of the creation including most of the people I interact with are this low.

If it's a repeating pattern from early age, there's probably a life lesson or even a pre-incarnative planned lesson there. Although I've always seen dealing with individuals you know as orange ray, and yellow ray to be about groups or views of society, so perhaps there are both orange and yellow aspects of this.

That being said, I think it is natural (but still a lesson) to feel some yellow ray discomfort since so many of us are so different than most of the society - global and often local - around us. I do feel a bit of what you feel, and there seems to be a pull to either think more like the society around us to feel accepted (which may be natural but I think is backward when it comes to orange/yellow evolution) or work on understanding and accepting the vast majority of society which still is 3D (green), and just accept that our path seems to be a relatively more lonely one when it comes to true friendship/intimacy...

That latter part is mainly orange/yellow; maybe not completely lonely, but when I venture into the dating scene on a yearly basis or so, I basically feel I have to put my wish for someone interesting in spiritual evolution to the side because it's hard enough as is to find someone compatible...almost feel like I have avoid talking about spiritual stuff on even third+ dates even though it's a non-trivial part of me with the vast majority of people...I know it's killing my blue ray. I've only been a slight bit better when it comes to true friendship, because I think I programmed a childhood best friend - my best friend through my life I've known since I was 5 years old - who is also spiritual. And I did find a very spiritual recently awakened friend at work at my last job.

I'll let you know when I have a good answer brother.

Hey brother. I've always enjoyed the wisdom I find in your posts.

I agree with what you say. there must be a specific lesson to be learned here.

And about true friendship/intimacy, I do have one true friend. she means everything to me!
I'm very thankful for having her as my best friend forever.

I've given up on dating and have been celibate for some time now.

Some nights I dream about having true friends as well. I really love them in the dreams and they care for me then I awaken and still feel the beauty and harmony me and the dream friend had between us. it's just amazing.
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10-22-2017, 03:36 PM,
#8
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
Heeyy you understand how I feel rather accurately.

I had found that much of what is asked of me does not make much sense.  Believe it or not, I agree that it feels like ignoring the darkness within when I'm asked to not worry.

But, I have spent...  A lot of time with that darkness.  I've done everything involved with it from listening to letting it have his violent ways, and nothing works with that level of darkness.  It pulls you in and holds onto you, enslaved you, and then plays mind games with you just to pass the time and boredom.

Well, I'm still learning, but a lesson that recently re-reached me was to not worry, to not let the darkness occupy your mind and thoughts, but instead to release it, and in so doing you release its grip on you.

You see, I'm the darkness, no different of my shadow self.  I've felt the desire to kill, and I've had the fantasy of rape and torture before, I'm as violent and bellicose as my shadow self because I am a part of that darkness as much as it is a part of the light that I am.  The important thing is that i am not acting out those things, and that I work with them to better know myself.  That I forgive myself for being..Such a monster.

So when others do you wrong, try to see that they're the ones wronging themselves.  They call you naive because inside they know they're naive.  A kindhearted nature is not innately naive, but to devious minds it can appear so.  Rather I find that those naive are more sensitive to the actual reality, that they're here to be that way to give others a chance to polarize and learn.

Should they feel ashamed or guilty for wronging you, you've given them a lesson that they provided their self.  However for you it may also be taken as a lesson as well, perhaps to be more concerning with 'friends'.

But in many cases, if you wish to not attract such darkness as disgust, it's good not to judge others as such, or even yourself.

I choose not to react to the deviousness of my darkness now, to not let the projections of suffering it brings to my attention affect me so deeply, and to let go of those dark associated feelings.  I've dealt with them, now I need to let them be as their own and move on to be my own self.

It's different when such a horrible thing happens to someone close, but for now everyone is safe and sound whom I know and that is the least I could be grateful for.  That you and others that matter are not in immediate danger.  That no one I know is being raped or tortured or murdered, and that is important too.

So, it might be apathetic, but I just accept that too, and whether it appears as indifference or unconditional love is unimportant, what matters is I'm trying to be better for myself and others because deep down inside underneath the light and dark inside the void of my being and further, the one thing that is without a doubt to me is I care about others, and want to be better for them and myself, for myself and them.

I'm only human and can only do so well, so I must also do better in forgiveness and getting back to that groove of moving beyond my failures instead of being consumed by them.
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour
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10-22-2017, 04:10 PM,
#9
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
I don't have much time this moment but I wonder if what you feel is just a step along the path.
A few more steps and you might reach compassion for them.

I can't say "I like" as in enjoy everyone's company but "I love them" and understanding they are on a path learning far worse lessons than I am this time(having to learn about perpetuating acts against others) makes it easier to view them compassionately. Do I want to associate with them?.... not to much, a bit here and there since I feel that's part of my role but I used to also be very bothered by their behaviour. Now I'm just glad I don't have to go through the lessons they are.

Isolation sucks. We don't seek the same distraction of the masses so we are set apart.
I still think that is preferable than having to live like them, blind.

Never give up on finding kindred spirits if you've given up hope you might also have closed your eyes to them. We need each other. Smile
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11-17-2017, 01:03 AM, (This post was last modified: 11-17-2017, 01:04 AM by Steppingfeet.)
#10
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(10-22-2017, 05:25 AM)Cainite Wrote:  So these people.. I'm totally disgusted by their baseness, stupidity, prejudices, selfishness, treachery, judgement, lack of discernment, and .......the list goes on. and can't do anything about the way I feel.

The wanderer saw all that and felt not judgment but overwhelming sorrow and compassion.

Followed by a desire to serve. Followed by giving everything to fulfill that service.

Those qualities which you identify engender loss and suffering, not just for the recipients of those energies, but for those who generate such energies. In such a one the Creator is cutting itself off from peace, intimacy, connection, support, trust, love, and the beauty of creation.

The wanderer and, indeed, the open-hearted soul, feels called not to judgment but to service in such circumstances. Not to elevating the self in condescending scorn above those deemed inferior, but in serving as an example of the merciful, ever-kind and forgiving nature of universal love.

Explanation by the tongue makes most things clear, but love unexplained is clearer. - Rumi
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11-17-2017, 03:46 AM,
#11
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(11-17-2017, 01:03 AM)Steppingfeet Wrote:  
(10-22-2017, 05:25 AM)Cainite Wrote:  So these people.. I'm totally disgusted by their baseness, stupidity, prejudices, selfishness, treachery, judgement, lack of discernment, and .......the list goes on. and can't do anything about the way I feel.

The wanderer saw all that and felt not judgment but overwhelming sorrow and compassion.

Followed by a desire to serve. Followed by giving everything to fulfill that service.

Those qualities which you identify engender loss and suffering, not just for the recipients of those energies, but for those who generate such energies. In such a one the Creator is cutting itself off from peace, intimacy, connection, support, trust, love, and the beauty of creation.

The wanderer and, indeed, the open-hearted soul, feels called not to judgment but to service in such circumstances. Not to elevating the self in condescending scorn above those deemed inferior, but in serving as an example of the merciful, ever-kind and forgiving nature of universal love.

I'm not a wanderer. I'm just a bit more creative and a little smarter than the average person.. and that's because they don't think at all.
That's right! my own mother for example, she doesn't think about her actions. she just does what feels right. she will lie to you to make herself look good.. because it feels right to her.

I think part of being their equal means to expect more of them. Acting like a god is more condescending in my opinion, Accepting them as they are sounds like giving up on their potential to become decent men and women. after all you wanderers are here to help them graduate rather than letting them remain unconscious in this illusion.


This is the third time within the last two months, a so called friend who calls me her savior angel, is giving me her homework to do. she starts thanking me before I accept doing her project for her. And I'm too shy to tell her she's just using me like a tool. just cause I'm serving, I get to become her tool and selfish dumb guys get her affection. (I don't want her affection though! and I just ran away from her this time instead of doing her job for her)

BTW, I'm very chill and humble most of the time. if you found me to be judgmental it was because of my temporary anger at the time I posted those.

Thanks for the response.
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11-17-2017, 04:08 AM,
#12
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
Btw.. I see the bad breaks in their walls but I also see the other good breaks. I just have this tendency to focus on the bad breaks on my wall and theirs.
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11-17-2017, 01:39 PM,
#13
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(11-17-2017, 03:46 AM)Cainite Wrote:  I'm not a wanderer. I'm just a bit more creative and a little smarter than the average person.. and that's because they don't think at all.
That's right! my own mother for example, she doesn't think about her actions. she just does what feels right. she will lie to you to make herself look good.. because it feels right to her.

I think part of being their equal means to expect more of them. Acting like a god is more condescending in my opinion, Accepting them as they are sounds like giving up on their potential to become decent men and women. after all you wanderers are here to help them graduate rather than letting them remain unconscious in this illusion.


This is the third time within the last two months, a so called friend who calls me her savior angel, is giving me her homework to do. she starts thanking me before I accept doing her project for her. And I'm too shy to tell her she's just using me like a tool. just cause I'm serving, I get to become her tool and selfish dumb guys get her affection. (I don't want her affection though! and I just ran away from her this time instead of doing her job for her)

BTW, I'm very chill and humble most of the time. if you found me to be judgmental it was because of my temporary anger at the time I posted those.

Thanks for the response.

I'm sorry if my reply conveyed that one had to be a wanderer to see from this perspective. I was only invoking the wanderer as a sort of category. One that sees the same things that you describe, but has a different reaction. Instead of saying "F*ck these people," the desire is to serve.


Naturally one needn't be a wanderer to see this way. I only meant to invoke the wanderer as an example. Regardless of one soul's origin, we're all capable of seeing that way.

That is not to negate your feelings! I would be a liar if I said that I had never become embittered, or angry, or righteous when viewing the folly of others. There is a lot of shallowness in this world. Self-serving selfishness. Callousness. Greed. Cruelty. Seemingly willful ignorance. And so forth.

In general I just tend to think that a lot of these qualities stem from past pains and traumas, mistreatments and misunderstandings. In other words, moments where love was denied or squandered. The shape of others is formed so much around unrecognized or unhealed pain. Might even your own OP arise from being severed from love, connection, intimacy, community?

Each situation is unique of course. Maybe someone does need called on their BS. Maybe holding someone to an expectation or to accountability is what's needed. In general I think that the highest course of action is discovered on the road of empathy. We may need to flip two birds high to the world sometimes. I know, so please vent away.

And afterward I'll chill with you. : )

Explanation by the tongue makes most things clear, but love unexplained is clearer. - Rumi
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11-17-2017, 02:26 PM,
#14
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
I have already decided to not bring negativity here anymore. That was the last time. I promise
All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost
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11-17-2017, 03:04 PM,
#15
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
Quote:Might even your own OP arise from being severed from love, connection, intimacy, community?

Of course. I'm an outsider.. always been.
All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost
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11-17-2017, 03:36 PM,
#16
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
Btw I dont think it means you are not a wanderer that you feel these things.
A wanderer who has faced themselves to the point they see WHY these actions bother them will see with compassion but a partially sleeping one or one not ready to face the work will see their pain in the situation just like most people do.

I know I am a wanderer I remember to this day being 3 and feeling so bad I that didn't share my crackers with someone who asked. I can still see the scene and it was one of the worst act of exclusion I have perpetuated in this life because I shared with someone else but not them, so gross, as soon as it was done the remorse kicked in.
I was born gentle, giving yet I have had times where my patience ran thin with certain things.

I used to get so hurt/mad about young women being with old men, since I was a teen it disgusted me. Old men would throw away their wives thinking they were entitled to a newer model, and young women wanting their money or protection would basically continue the cycle of women being seen as throw aways by taking their place. I had no compassion about it being ingrained in our society for so long and the reasons people do these things. I was just angry and judgmental.

So I'm saying just because you are feeling angry/judgy about your situation don't let it lead you away from your identification as a wanderer. Just take it as a cue that you need to look deeper so you can rise above it and see what is driving all this.
Usually its fear, and separation from love. Either they need to do things to make them able to rationalize their worth or make others able to rationalize affection/respect/admiration(ego feeding) for them because they do not possess that deeply felt self love or love without conditions. It really is sad, especially since most people are not going to be ready to look at these things for several life times.
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11-17-2017, 04:33 PM,
#17
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(11-17-2017, 03:36 PM)Glow Wrote:  Btw I dont think it means you are not a wanderer that you feel these things.
A wanderer who has faced themselves to the point they see WHY these actions bother them will see with compassion but a partially sleeping one or one not ready to face the work will see their pain in the situation just like most people do.

I know I am a wanderer I remember to this day being 3 and feeling so bad I that didn't share my crackers with someone who asked. I can still see the scene and it was one of the worst act of exclusion I have perpetuated in this life because I shared with someone else but not them, so gross, as soon as it was done the remorse kicked in.
I was born gentle, giving yet I have had times where my patience ran thin with certain things.

I used to get so hurt/mad about young women being with old men, since I was a teen it disgusted me. Old men would throw away their wives thinking they were entitled to a newer model, and young women wanting their money or protection would basically continue the cycle of women being seen as throw aways by taking their place. I had no compassion about it being ingrained in our society for so long and the reasons people do these things. I was just angry and judgmental.

So I'm saying just because you are feeling angry/judgy about your situation don't let it lead you away from your identification as a wanderer. Just take it as a cue that you need to look deeper so you can rise above it and see what is driving all this.
Usually its fear, and separation from love. Either they need to do things to make them able to rationalize their worth or make others able to rationalize affection/respect/admiration(ego feeding) for them because they do not possess that deeply felt self love or love without conditions. It really is sad, especially since most people are not going to be ready to look at these things for several life times.

Why would I think I'm a wanderer? I've seen very few people who have read the Ra material and don't think they are wanderers.

I fell in love with LOO when I read it. The person who gave it to me said that many things that I always talk about are explained in detail in Ra Material. So I studied it feverishly for a few days until all volumes were finished. I just skipped the pyramid parts... they bored me.

Does liking the Ra Material make me a wanderer?
All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost
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11-17-2017, 08:17 PM,
#18
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
I really cant say, what anything means, even before I read the Law of One I sort of knew I didnt belong, as a kid I always would stare out the window and repeatedly say I wanted to go home. I knew it wasnt here on earth... pretty much the loo saved my sanity because it explained how and why i didn't fit, and it felt like information I already new it resonated so clear. Its likely very different for everyone. I think only you know or people you get to know intimately.

I just didn't want anyone to misinterpret that wanderers never feel dark stuff because it has been my experience that sometimes the very light go so deep into distraction trying not to feel anything of the 3d experience that their origins/polarity/ect really can not be known to those who haven't been given the gift of seeing their light. Sometimes they themselves don't even recognize their own light.
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11-18-2017, 12:19 AM,
#19
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(11-17-2017, 08:17 PM)Glow Wrote:  I really cant say, what anything means, even before I read the Law of One I sort of knew I didnt belong, as a kid I always would stare out the window and repeatedly say I wanted to go home. I knew it wasnt here on earth... pretty much the loo saved my sanity because it explained how and why i didn't fit, and it felt like information I already new it resonated so clear. Its likely very different for everyone. I think only you know or people you get to know intimately.

Before LOO, I used to think my spirit is not that of a typical human. although I was sure this wasn't my first human incarnation. when I was 10 I dreamt my last physical death as a human. I woke up and told everyone I was with my brothers in an european forest when I died last time. I didn't know about reincarnation at that time.

Quote:I just didn't want anyone to misinterpret that wanderers never feel dark stuff because it has been my experience that sometimes the very light go so deep into distraction trying not to feel anything of the 3d experience that their origins/polarity/ect really can not be known to those who haven't been given the gift of seeing their light. Sometimes they themselves don't even recognize their own light.
They actually feel both light and dark stuff more.
All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost
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11-18-2017, 04:16 AM,
#20
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(11-17-2017, 03:46 AM)Cainite Wrote:  I think part of being their equal means to expect more of them. Acting like a god is more condescending in my opinion, Accepting them as they are sounds like giving up on their potential to become decent men and women. after all you wanderers are here to help them graduate rather than letting them remain unconscious in this illusion.

In my own experience, when the heart opens and then the blue ray, and you know yourself and can stand there in the storm of mocking and whatever, and just be *yourself*, speaking about it - that really changes those around you. At least those who are ready and who want to change.

Where do you live?
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11-18-2017, 05:26 AM, (This post was last modified: 11-18-2017, 05:28 AM by xise.)
#21
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
I think some of what we may experience as service to others is that we find it a very fulfilling service to awaken others to the true nature of reality.

However, I think many of us are surrounded by those who are only interested in sleeping, and as Ra says we can only be of service by aiding them with the comforts of sleeping. Serving others who wish to only sleep may at first repulse us if we are judgemental, but even when we get past that I think we find it such a service just boring and not tapping our full potential...kind of just feels like going through the motions to aid others in sleeping..

Service to Others means Service to All. That includes yourself.
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11-18-2017, 06:20 AM, (This post was last modified: 11-18-2017, 07:13 AM by Cainite.)
#22
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(11-18-2017, 04:16 AM)Ankh Wrote:  
(11-17-2017, 03:46 AM)Cainite Wrote:  I think part of being their equal means to expect more of them. Acting like a god is more condescending in my opinion, Accepting them as they are sounds like giving up on their potential to become decent men and women. after all you wanderers are here to help them graduate rather than letting them remain unconscious in this illusion.

In my own experience, when the heart opens and then the blue ray, and you know yourself and can stand there in the storm of mocking and whatever, and just be *yourself*, speaking about it - that really changes those around you. At least those who are ready and who want to change.

Where do you live?

That is the best advice for anything, right? forget any other method.

I live in west of Tehran. I really don't like other parts of teh.

(11-18-2017, 04:16 AM)Xise Wrote:  I think some of what we may experience as service to others is that we find it a very fulfilling service to awaken others to the true nature of reality.

However, I think many of us are surrounded by those who are only interested in sleeping, and as Ra says we can only be of service by aiding them with the comforts of sleeping. Serving others who wish to only sleep may at first repulse us if we are judgemental, but even when we get past that I think we find it such a service just boring and not tapping our full potential...kind of just feels like going through the motions to aid others in sleeping..

Yeah I've read our mystics say ''Go back to sleep'' and things like that. I think sometimes hurting one's ego by showing him its folly, helps him think again.
All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost
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11-18-2017, 12:28 PM, (This post was last modified: 11-18-2017, 12:29 PM by Ankh.)
#23
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(11-18-2017, 06:20 AM)Cainite Wrote:  I live in west of Tehran.

Oh, dude, you live in Iran! That's a completely other story! I mean, it took me 40 years to somewhat open my green ray and have occasional blue ray openings, but that's in countries where there is freedom of speech! The worst thing that can happen to me is that people will mock me and think that I'm crazy, but in your case - you risk your very freedom and maybe even your life for speaking up, right? Correct me if I am wrong, but aren't you risking A LOT for just being a member here and write what you write? Aren't you risking jail, prison and even torture, and maybe even your life? Either way, it's just completely different to the experience from ours who are struggling with catalysts of just verbal and social kind... You? Wow...
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11-18-2017, 02:05 PM,
#24
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(11-18-2017, 12:28 PM)Ankh Wrote:  
(11-18-2017, 06:20 AM)Cainite Wrote:  I live in west of Tehran.

Oh, dude, you live in Iran! That's a completely other story! I mean, it took me 40 years to somewhat open my green ray and have occasional blue ray openings, but that's in countries where there is freedom of speech! The worst thing that can happen to me is that people will mock me and think that I'm crazy, but in your case - you risk your very freedom and maybe even your life for speaking up, right? Correct me if I am wrong, but aren't you risking A LOT for just being a member here and write what you write? Aren't you risking jail, prison and even torture, and maybe even your life? Either way, it's just completely different to the experience from ours who are struggling with catalysts of just verbal and social kind... You? Wow...

Yeah.. I'm pretty risky. But that torture and jail thing made me very paranoid for a while. one of the causes for my schizophrenia probably. but now I'm fearless because of faith and loving kindness that I've been working on. not completely fearless though. I get worried about my friend a lot and prey for her protection.


There's a guy who is a channel, he wrote a book similar to Law of One but with reference to Islam and Sufism. He's in jail now and has committed suicide twice without success. doesn't eat to protest. his name is Mohammad Taheri. his book mostly focuses on healing. they'll probably execute him, or let him rot in prison.

A few years ago government agents came for me and told me they have my pictures and info and suspect me to be a satanist. then hey asked me if I am a satanist or not and I said no.
I still speak up against the evil that's going on here in my poems which I've put in my blog. but no one sees my blog Big Grin so it's just for me.

And about opening my heart, you're right, it's a lot harder in a medieval society.. but I'm trying my best. and my friend has been a great help for seven years.
All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost
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11-18-2017, 06:43 PM,
#25
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(11-18-2017, 02:05 PM)Cainite Wrote:  Yeah.. I'm pretty risky. But that torture and jail thing made me very paranoid for a while. one of the causes for my schizophrenia probably. but now I'm fearless because of faith and loving kindness that I've been working on. not completely fearless though. I get worried about my friend a lot and prey for her protection.


There's a guy who is a channel, he wrote a book similar to Law of One but with reference to Islam and Sufism. He's in jail now and has committed suicide twice without success. doesn't eat to protest. his name is Mohammad Taheri. his book mostly focuses on healing. they'll probably execute him, or let him rot in prison.

A few years ago government agents came for me and told me they have my pictures and info and suspect me to be a satanist. then hey asked me if I am a satanist or not and I said no.
I still speak up against the evil that's going on here in my poems which I've put in my blog. but no one sees my blog Big Grin so it's just for me.

And about opening my heart, you're right, it's a lot harder in a medieval society.. but I'm trying my best. and my friend has been a great help for seven years.

OMG... Dude, if someone looks up in the intergalactic encyclopedia "Definition, Wanderer: foolhardy and brave", they will see your face there, and all the aliens will take off their hats for you. You and many with you with similar incarnations, are truly brave and foolhardy. My hat goes off for you, my brother.

Good luck with your extremely difficult incarnation and your mission! Of course, you have difficulties with other selves in the society you live! And you don't have to worry about "spreading your negativity" as you put it. This is completely understandable!

I am sending you lots of love, light and strength!  Heart
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Yesterday, 04:58 AM,
#26
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
(11-18-2017, 06:43 PM)Ankh Wrote:  
(11-18-2017, 02:05 PM)Cainite Wrote:  Yeah.. I'm pretty risky. But that torture and jail thing made me very paranoid for a while. one of the causes for my schizophrenia probably. but now I'm fearless because of faith and loving kindness that I've been working on. not completely fearless though. I get worried about my friend a lot and prey for her protection.


There's a guy who is a channel, he wrote a book similar to Law of One but with reference to Islam and Sufism. He's in jail now and has committed suicide twice without success. doesn't eat to protest. his name is Mohammad Taheri. his book mostly focuses on healing. they'll probably execute him, or let him rot in prison.

A few years ago government agents came for me and told me they have my pictures and info and suspect me to be a satanist. then hey asked me if I am a satanist or not and I said no.
I still speak up against the evil that's going on here in my poems which I've put in my blog. but no one sees my blog Big Grin so it's just for me.

And about opening my heart, you're right, it's a lot harder in a medieval society.. but I'm trying my best. and my friend has been a great help for seven years.

OMG... Dude, if someone looks up in the intergalactic encyclopedia "Definition, Wanderer: foolhardy and brave", they will see your face there, and all the aliens will take off their hats for you. You and many with you with similar incarnations, are truly brave and foolhardy. My hat goes off for you, my brother.

Good luck with your extremely difficult incarnation and your mission! Of course, you have difficulties with other selves in the society you live! And you don't have to worry about "spreading your negativity" as you put it. This is completely understandable!

I am sending you lots of love, light and strength!  Heart

Thank you! Heart
but I don't think I deserve to be called ''brave''
The political prisoners here do though. I've actually done nothing serious.
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9 hours ago,
#27
RE: Can't trust or like anyone anymore!
Taking upon your incarnation is brave enough!
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