10-12-2018, 02:19 PM
If you were to write to your future home density self, and they could look back to this moment as you write, what would you say?
I wrote this. Maybe it will help others think about such things.
To my future self in my home density,
Right now, I am behind the veil. I don't have a larger perspective, so I don't know if you can remember exactly how it was for me. My biggest catalyst in life is with my mom, but I am doing much better in the loving department. Learning to love was one of my biggest lessons. Well, that and compassion for those “weaker” than me. Though they are not weaker ultimately. I worked so hard to help Ra out in this life, and I do not know currently if it makes a difference. I have only heard the voice of my spirit guide once. At least I think it was him. Or whoever it was at the time. May have been my guardian angel telling me “I wouldn't” when I was about to make a bad choice.
I have a mild bliss. Probably not as much as you experience all the time, but it's enough for me to enjoy meditation. I still get upheaval during meditation though, which can make it uncomfortable. Still, I strive to sit through it, and allow these sensations to fade. It makes my forearms tired writing this. Probably something you do not face. In all, things aren't that difficult for me. But I worry about my finances in the future, like I won't have my disability past 2020 maybe. I'll see then whether I quality for longer term.
I am hoping to heal my schizophrenia though study of shamanism. If I can, I probably will need to work again. But the work can be in healing others. I only hope that either that or disability can support me.
I wonder about you, at this point in time. If you are outside of time or not. If you can experience this life as I do now. If you can know my troubles. Where I need to grow. And how tired I get sometimes. I have started to think about you more, because you are the apex of what I will become. You must have life so easy. But it must be a little frustrating how spiritual growth is so slow for you because of the ease of life and limited if any catalyst.
Catalyst has increased it seems since I started seeking, but it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. Maybe you wish you had the catalyst that I do. I don't feel I am growing spiritually much at all, because of the veil. I cannot see my vibration. I feel energy, but every day my chakras feel like balloons. The unending pressure gets tiring. I wonder if you constantly feel energy, and it so does it always feel pleasant?
Please send angels to help with my distortions. I want to return to my home density in a higher vibration than when I left. Help guide me when I seem lost. This life has been a challenge so far. It's getting easier I think. But it's been easy in some ways. I'm remembering my dreams a bit more. They are positive for the most part.
I will try to think of you in my meditations. I think mostly of my own spiritual growth, and how I can do so by helping others. My mom needs my help the most. So I give it to her. I think when this life is over I will smile. Maybe I'll glow with the light of a billion suns, as someone once remarked. I just thought I'd write a note to you at present time. I hope you can get it as I am writing it, and just remember what it was like. I'm not complaining. I just imagine it must be much easier for you. You nearly touch Infinity. Something I'm not sure if I'll do in this life. But I'm trying.
I wrote this. Maybe it will help others think about such things.
To my future self in my home density,
Right now, I am behind the veil. I don't have a larger perspective, so I don't know if you can remember exactly how it was for me. My biggest catalyst in life is with my mom, but I am doing much better in the loving department. Learning to love was one of my biggest lessons. Well, that and compassion for those “weaker” than me. Though they are not weaker ultimately. I worked so hard to help Ra out in this life, and I do not know currently if it makes a difference. I have only heard the voice of my spirit guide once. At least I think it was him. Or whoever it was at the time. May have been my guardian angel telling me “I wouldn't” when I was about to make a bad choice.
I have a mild bliss. Probably not as much as you experience all the time, but it's enough for me to enjoy meditation. I still get upheaval during meditation though, which can make it uncomfortable. Still, I strive to sit through it, and allow these sensations to fade. It makes my forearms tired writing this. Probably something you do not face. In all, things aren't that difficult for me. But I worry about my finances in the future, like I won't have my disability past 2020 maybe. I'll see then whether I quality for longer term.
I am hoping to heal my schizophrenia though study of shamanism. If I can, I probably will need to work again. But the work can be in healing others. I only hope that either that or disability can support me.
I wonder about you, at this point in time. If you are outside of time or not. If you can experience this life as I do now. If you can know my troubles. Where I need to grow. And how tired I get sometimes. I have started to think about you more, because you are the apex of what I will become. You must have life so easy. But it must be a little frustrating how spiritual growth is so slow for you because of the ease of life and limited if any catalyst.
Catalyst has increased it seems since I started seeking, but it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. Maybe you wish you had the catalyst that I do. I don't feel I am growing spiritually much at all, because of the veil. I cannot see my vibration. I feel energy, but every day my chakras feel like balloons. The unending pressure gets tiring. I wonder if you constantly feel energy, and it so does it always feel pleasant?
Please send angels to help with my distortions. I want to return to my home density in a higher vibration than when I left. Help guide me when I seem lost. This life has been a challenge so far. It's getting easier I think. But it's been easy in some ways. I'm remembering my dreams a bit more. They are positive for the most part.
I will try to think of you in my meditations. I think mostly of my own spiritual growth, and how I can do so by helping others. My mom needs my help the most. So I give it to her. I think when this life is over I will smile. Maybe I'll glow with the light of a billion suns, as someone once remarked. I just thought I'd write a note to you at present time. I hope you can get it as I am writing it, and just remember what it was like. I'm not complaining. I just imagine it must be much easier for you. You nearly touch Infinity. Something I'm not sure if I'll do in this life. But I'm trying.