10-08-2010, 03:44 PM
Lately I have just been very frustrated. For a while now I think I have been doing a very good job letting go of past issues and hurts and balancing myself out. For the most part, things are going great. However, it seems like no matter where I go, I find myself in the company of extremely negatively-minded people. For me to end up in this type of environment once could be pure chance, but the fact that it keeps happening must mean that there is a lesson I am just not learning, and it is driving me crazy, because all I want to do is live my life in peace.
I recently began taking fewer hours at my job at the grocery store in order to get a second job and hopefully make a full transition once I get enough hours at my new job to pay the bills. The grocery store has pretty much become a mass conglomerate of negative behavior that makes the Orion empire sound cozy...people fighting with one another on a constant basis, no teamwork whatsoever, complete disrespect, backstabbing, finger pointing, and the store is going under because of it...we've failed our past 3 audits simply because people refuse to help each other out and get simple, easy tasks done, and management turns a blind eye to the whole thing. I've done my best at shining a light into this black hole, but aside from averting some of the negative attention that was directed specifically toward my being things only seem to be getting worse. I spent a long time searching myself and asking Spirit what would be an appropriate action...to try to find a better atmosphere or to try to use the intense catalyst as a sort of spiritual boot camp to make myself stronger.
Eventually I was SURE that I was being guided to this new job...the way things all fell into place seemed a little unreal. Once again, I seriously searched myself and it seemed like this was the opportunity I had been looking for, so I took on a second job in hopes of eventually being able to leave the grocery store entirely. For about the first week everything seemed to be exactly as I was hoping, but shortly after my hiring I once again found myself amidst some seriously negative behavior. I did not do a single thing to these people except help them out, but there is a level of anger and completely disrespectful, hateful behavior directed toward me that is disturbing in its magnitude.
One of these people I even defended and kept them out of a sticky situation, but the reply was not exactly gratitude. I've barely even spoken to these individuals, but for some reason they seem to see me as a walking target to belittle and make look bad. I have done my very best to reflect their hatred with kindness and be an example of the love I would like to see in the world. When they insult me, I shrug it off. When they rudely order me to do something, I do it without complaining. I go out of my way to be polite to them and help them in any way I can, but it only gets worse. Today I left work in tears because I was seriously tempted to display some negative behavior of my own and tell them to #$%^ off.
So I find myself in the exact same situation as my other job, only now I'm making less money and have more stress. I REALLY felt like this is what I was being guided to, but I don't understand it at all. What part of myself am I just not managing to balance to keep getting stuck with these kind of people on a daily basis? All I want is to just go to work, do my job and be treated like a human being. What message is trying to be expressed here? I would really like to know because it is stressing me out to no end.
I recently began taking fewer hours at my job at the grocery store in order to get a second job and hopefully make a full transition once I get enough hours at my new job to pay the bills. The grocery store has pretty much become a mass conglomerate of negative behavior that makes the Orion empire sound cozy...people fighting with one another on a constant basis, no teamwork whatsoever, complete disrespect, backstabbing, finger pointing, and the store is going under because of it...we've failed our past 3 audits simply because people refuse to help each other out and get simple, easy tasks done, and management turns a blind eye to the whole thing. I've done my best at shining a light into this black hole, but aside from averting some of the negative attention that was directed specifically toward my being things only seem to be getting worse. I spent a long time searching myself and asking Spirit what would be an appropriate action...to try to find a better atmosphere or to try to use the intense catalyst as a sort of spiritual boot camp to make myself stronger.
Eventually I was SURE that I was being guided to this new job...the way things all fell into place seemed a little unreal. Once again, I seriously searched myself and it seemed like this was the opportunity I had been looking for, so I took on a second job in hopes of eventually being able to leave the grocery store entirely. For about the first week everything seemed to be exactly as I was hoping, but shortly after my hiring I once again found myself amidst some seriously negative behavior. I did not do a single thing to these people except help them out, but there is a level of anger and completely disrespectful, hateful behavior directed toward me that is disturbing in its magnitude.
One of these people I even defended and kept them out of a sticky situation, but the reply was not exactly gratitude. I've barely even spoken to these individuals, but for some reason they seem to see me as a walking target to belittle and make look bad. I have done my very best to reflect their hatred with kindness and be an example of the love I would like to see in the world. When they insult me, I shrug it off. When they rudely order me to do something, I do it without complaining. I go out of my way to be polite to them and help them in any way I can, but it only gets worse. Today I left work in tears because I was seriously tempted to display some negative behavior of my own and tell them to #$%^ off.
So I find myself in the exact same situation as my other job, only now I'm making less money and have more stress. I REALLY felt like this is what I was being guided to, but I don't understand it at all. What part of myself am I just not managing to balance to keep getting stuck with these kind of people on a daily basis? All I want is to just go to work, do my job and be treated like a human being. What message is trying to be expressed here? I would really like to know because it is stressing me out to no end.