(02-06-2013, 08:24 PM)Cyan Wrote: When i was super depressed i literally hallucinated my friends to be angry at me.
It is kind of like the call in your heart for communication is so strong and the bandwith allowed is so narrow that the guides are given two choices, use the bandwith in the way specificed with the intent of gaining a larger bandwith, or dont use it at all.
That is, go along with the "I only accept contact if it comes from a chicken" type depressed thought while trying to, at the same time, get the depressed person to drop the aformentioned only accepting chickens clause.
It is kind of like a call so strong that some gravitate towards it and since you are saying "hit me to make me feel better" they are seriously lacking options.
That causes "them" to "change" to "hostile" while still "friendly" for "real".
It is not strictly that you "hallucinate" them, but rather, that you force you rother selves to talk to you through such a narrow bandwith due to the self constricting effects of depression that it could, just as well, be hallucination. because if they dont play along with it and leave you alone you take it as a proof of your bad nature, if they play along and hurt you you take it as proof of your bad nature, if they dont play along and simply collapse your field by infringing you take it as proof of your bad nature. And a perfect catch 20 is ready.
I thank my lucky stars every day that my guides managed to show me a few glimpes of how this works in my case for real and while its not somethign to really feel thankful for, i at least have an idea on where roughly to point my "righteous improvement sense" and get to work.
I can relate to this. When I was really depressed I would go out and every conversation I heard sounded like people were criticizing me and I would just assume that people would see me and instantly gauge my "lack of worth" (which was all in my head anyhow) and so I would enter every social interaction with that assumption. I even had one instance where I was walking home and I heard two people behind me saying really nasty stuff about me and I was too scared to turn around and face them for a while and then when I finally did no one was there.