10-04-2011, 09:15 PM
The funny thing about projections is that you can recognize another person's act of projecting and be right about it, but it is likely that you are also projecting in your very act of recognizing that person's projection. Or, to put the matter another way, any imbalance you see in another is mirroring your own.
I'm reminded of when a friend of mine whom I had unintentionally hurt told me that she thought I expected perfection of her. At first I dismissed this as a projection of her own expectations of perfection about herself, but then I realized that I did expect perfection -- not of her but of myself. I had projected a confusion about myself upon her: I thought she was refusing to see that she expected perfection of herself, but it turned out that I was refusing to see that I expected perfection of myself. And I still think she was projecting, too.
My friends, opportunities for self-knowledge abound, especially when you find yourself interlocked in a conversation where there seems to be no end to disagreement and misunderstanding.
I'm reminded of when a friend of mine whom I had unintentionally hurt told me that she thought I expected perfection of her. At first I dismissed this as a projection of her own expectations of perfection about herself, but then I realized that I did expect perfection -- not of her but of myself. I had projected a confusion about myself upon her: I thought she was refusing to see that she expected perfection of herself, but it turned out that I was refusing to see that I expected perfection of myself. And I still think she was projecting, too.
My friends, opportunities for self-knowledge abound, especially when you find yourself interlocked in a conversation where there seems to be no end to disagreement and misunderstanding.