07-04-2012, 10:30 PM
(07-04-2012, 09:18 PM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: I appreciate your openness Confused. I've been more the quiet type when there are hostilities between my mother and I. She gets angry a lot, and in turn this makes me angry. She is often condescending to me, and I've pretty much put up with it for awhile. So it wears on me. When I open her up to this, it just makes her angrier. I'm not motivated to do chores or work to help her out because of our differences. So it is the perfect chance for me to show love. To her, I'm inadequate and she's called me incompetent to others.
Hi, GW, thank you for your post.
During my childhood, I used to read the comic series based on the fictional famous character, Tintin, created by Herge. I used to be fascinated by the series. Now, I have again rediscovered those comics after over two decades. As I read some of the books again, I realize that the essence of the character of Tintin is that he always behaves morally right, but with commonsense, in spite of grave misbehaviors or provocations from others. Tintin seems to epitomize the thought-form that -- "It is not within my power to change how an other behaves with me or in a given situation. What I can exercise control and will over is how I behave in any situation. I have power over only my behavior."
From re-reading Tintin books again, I have discovered the most simple truth that Free will = Personal responsibility over one's actions. I wish I had understood that most simple truth many years ago, thereby not committing some of the gross abuses that I have done. I would have spared myself unbearable guilt, shame and fear. At least, I would have been able to live with myself. Now, I find difficult to be in my own skin, for I fear my own self.
Each one has power over only our own actions, thoughts and attitudes, GW. If I had not committed some of the terrible abuses that I had, I would have enjoyed the world every moment because of inherent innocence. We owe it to ourselves to lead a life of justice and compassion, for it brings ultimate fulfillment. It is not a favor done to anybody. That said, some relationships are however so untenable that they just have to be disengaged. For example, my relationship with my father is a case in point. That disengagement too, is an act of compassion, for it brings peace and respite to all involved. All these are not easy and human behavior is unpredictable. Given the fact that we all carry various uncertainties and fears (like finances), many of our relationships turn poisonous and toxic due to lack of escape routes. Whatever the status of a relationship, I have understood that violence and abuses have no place, whether we direct it to others or it is directed to us.