End of Seeking
07-25-2014, 07:57 PM,
#1
End of Seeking
This has come after much pondering and continuous confusion in myself. I have decided to cease my spiritual seeking and indeed drop the vast majority of my philosophy. One, not one, perfect, imperfect, it doesn't really matter. I can only conclude the one truth I know - I don't know anything. After years of meditation, of following, exploring and dissecting numerous philosophies from the simple to the complex. I have realized high, continuous bliss, as well as experienced continuous torment. What have I to show for all this?

Nothing. I haven't truly learned anything or gained any capacity to teach. I've gained a myriad of ideas which do not fit together with no hope of fitting together.

So that being said, I have no purpose here or anywhere in regards to spirituality, and beyond spirituality I don't even really know, I don't know myself.

I have a lot of work to do in knowing myself, if that is even of any real purpose. I don't know where I'll start or where I'll go but I no longer feel connected to any sort of philosophy. I don't believe in pure materialism, but I don't believe in solipsism either, I'm not sure there is anything I definitely believe in. Perhaps if I empty my cup I will realize what is meant to fill it.

Thank you all for your experiences you have shared with me and the many ideas and support structures you hold here. I hope you all the best on whatever path you find yourself upon. It was nice to share the beauty of possibility with you for a time but now I head in to my confusion, the unknown and mysterious, to further confuse myself.

It was nice being One with you all for as long as I was able to see it. Now we are One, but that is meaningless. See you in death.
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07-25-2014, 08:21 PM,
#2
RE: End of Seeking
I suggest believing in everything.
...only one important statement...All things, all of life, all of the creation is part of one original thought.
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07-25-2014, 08:23 PM,
#3
RE: End of Seeking
There is no more incentive for me to believe everything than to believe nothing, what's the difference? There is no use for it.
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Adonai One
07-25-2014, 08:29 PM,
#4
RE: End of Seeking
Coming to the conclusion that one knows nothing is yet another chapter and actually graduation to the next level of Being. If you can eventually gather the energy in the future, you'll begin anew with this level of faith that simply accepting that you know nothing is one of the best and highest attributes towards graduation. So in that respect, I congratulate you
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07-25-2014, 08:31 PM,
#5
RE: End of Seeking
(07-25-2014, 07:57 PM)Tanner Wrote:  I can only conclude the one truth I know - I don't know anything.

And so it comes full circle.

I trust you will find what you need to know.

Peace.
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07-25-2014, 08:33 PM,
#6
RE: End of Seeking
I think you teach just fine, Tanner. And I would invite you, in the future, to share your ideas which you do not feel fit together, and see if this fine community of minds can help put things into perspective for you.

Oftentimes we, as spiritual teachers, fall into the trap of thinking we should be so wise that we need not ask for help, but we are all students here. The only stupid question is the one you don't ask.

Thank you for your contributions, I wish you the best of luck on your journey of knowing yourself.

The magic is recognized; the nature is often not.
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07-25-2014, 08:34 PM,
#7
RE: End of Seeking
(07-25-2014, 08:23 PM)Tanner Wrote:  There is no more incentive for me to believe everything than to believe nothing, what's the difference? There is no use for it.

A choice. The choice to believe in everything entails an acceptance of every possibility and becoming all things.

The choice to believe in nothing entails the rejection of every possibility and still becoming all things in complete realization of what one is not.
...only one important statement...All things, all of life, all of the creation is part of one original thought.
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07-25-2014, 08:38 PM,
#8
RE: End of Seeking
(07-25-2014, 08:34 PM)Adonai One Wrote:  
(07-25-2014, 08:23 PM)Tanner Wrote:  There is no more incentive for me to believe everything than to believe nothing, what's the difference? There is no use for it.

A choice. The choice to believe in everything entails an acceptance of every possibility and becoming all things.

The choice to believe in nothing entails the rejection of every possibility and still becoming all things in complete realization of what one is not.

Everything and Nothing are the same thing to me, it's a redundant simultaneous acceptance and rejection in a zero-sum equation. Belief is only useful if it is in something, otherwise it has no useful content.

The problem is the assumption that belief must be in this or that, when really there are gradients. I believe something which is inclusive of both everything and nothing. What that is, I do not know.

Also, thank you for your acknowledgements, my friends. Maybe I am reaching the next stage of the spiral, or perhaps tumbling back, I am not sure, but I don't know either way so there is only onwards.
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Adonai One
07-25-2014, 08:40 PM, (This post was last modified: 07-25-2014, 08:41 PM by Adonai One.)
#9
RE: End of Seeking
I can only assure you that true nothingness is a very agonizing experience and doubting the existence of something and attaching oneself to that doubt is the path to such agony; Doubt is the first step to saying something does not exist. Committing to that denial is a great responsibility.
...only one important statement...All things, all of life, all of the creation is part of one original thought.
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07-25-2014, 08:41 PM,
#10
RE: End of Seeking
I am well aware of the agony of total void and the absolute bliss of total unity. Indeed it is my recognition of both that leads me to adhere to neither.
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Adonai One
07-25-2014, 08:44 PM,
#11
RE: End of Seeking
I am sad to see you go my friend. I'll be perfectly honest and question if my own attachment played a part in this.

Either way, I wish you well on your journey.
-==-
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07-25-2014, 08:46 PM,
#12
RE: End of Seeking
(07-25-2014, 08:44 PM)Parsons Wrote:  I am sad to see you go my friend. I'll be perfectly honest and question if my own attachment played a part in this.

Either way, I wish you well on your journey.

I assure you you had no role in this decision and in fact moreso than most I find myself in resonance with you. I do hope that those who wish to keep in contact will do so. Anyone who wishes for my email can grab it from my profile or ask me for it, I am also on Facebook.
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07-25-2014, 08:46 PM, (This post was last modified: 07-25-2014, 08:49 PM by vervex.)
#13
RE: End of Seeking
I wish you the best on your new path, Tanner. In my experience, all of us at some point face a moments of doubt and uncertainty, either in regards to how we live our life or in relation to our place within the cosmos (or both!). I always found it most practical to hold no convictions and remain perpetually open minded as I attempt to navigate the tumultuous waters of this confusing world. There is one thing I always find myself called back to even in times of turmoil and that is love. Even in the greatest of confusion, it is an anchor for me. I suggest you begin your search there if you ever resume your seeking. If like most of us here you possess an incessantly curious mind, and you have demonstrated this attribute on this board many times, you most likely will seek again. Consider if you walk a similar path in the future asking yourself why you seek in the first place. There is no purpose other than the one we make for ourselves; significance, although important to most humans, is not the only center available for exploration.

If you ever need anything, including an ear to listen, feel free to write me any time. It's always a pleasure. Take care Smile
Love. Create. Share.
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07-25-2014, 08:50 PM,
#14
RE: End of Seeking
Quite simply, I no longer feel I am adding to the harmony of this community. It does hurt to leave, but I no longer feel integrated here, like I am standing just outside of the circle. More and more my own aloneness comes up within me and this solitude, this complete aloneness is something I finally cannot ignore any longer after trying to for most of my life.
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07-25-2014, 08:56 PM,
#15
RE: End of Seeking
Would you be alone if you saw yourself in reality and others?
...only one important statement...All things, all of life, all of the creation is part of one original thought.
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07-25-2014, 08:58 PM,
#16
RE: End of Seeking
To know the self as the One is to be Alone. I have no difficulties seeing myself in others, or others in myself, and I do not deny nor verify the existence of others or myself.

"Life is the flight of the alone to the alone." - Plotinus
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Adonai One
07-25-2014, 09:01 PM,
#17
RE: End of Seeking
all the best Tanner.

Ever since I first arrived on these forums here (back in Dec 2011) you've been one of the mainstay personalities here. You've undergone various transformations from Azrael, the TheEternal, and finally the personable and approachable Tanner that has been with us in recent times. You've definitely become more 'human' in my eyes, with a great capacity to share genuinely from the heart, and to connect and communicate authentically. That, of course, is just how one individual (myself) has experienced what you have offered these forums in the past 2.5 years plus.

It's definitely been a great ride, and most of the folks that started this marathon with me when I first joined have left for other shores. A rollcall of names will bring back some fond memories, some hilarious ones, and perhaps even some poignant ones: Britanny/Lynn, Cyan/Not Sure, godwide_void, 3DMonkey, Meerie, and many others. This is not the same place that it used to be - but that is not nolstalgia or lament speaking - these forums are like a university campus in my eyes; and people are just passing through, learning and sharing what they can, and then continuing on their journey once the service has been given and received. A forums is not meant to be a testament to permanency or staticness; it is an ever flowing river bringing in new personalities as the old ones move on.

That is not to say that one views this state of affairs with indifference; given a certain user base, with unique members, a unique set of interactions and participations follows. Each snapshot of the forums at a 3 month interval would reveal a prominent set of personalities 'doing their thing', and plying their trade and service. Each configuration and grouping of personalities is unique and special in its own way.

And so I can look at the past, and see a more 'junior' version of myself, participating in a certain way, and that was great. These are now shared memories between myself and the others who were present and active at that time.

And then there is the now, with the current configuration of self, and the people who are drawn to these forums by their seeking, and that is the present and abundant opportunities being offered right now. I won't lament the past or pine for the future; but only appreciate the gift and the beauty of the other-selves who collect in this space and share their collective time in trying to figure things out.

- -

Tanner, you may say that your path and your intense fervor has led to a state of confusion. And indeed, maybe according to some inner benchmark or barometer, the crystal-clear clarity of everyday awareness might be alluding you. But one thing that I have come to appreciate in my own path is that the questions are quite often more meaningful (and powerful) than the answers. That may belie the attraction of the Law of One Material, in which a very clear 6th Density Group was able to answer every one of Don's questions with a precise and chiselled answer, but without the questions there would not be the possibility of a given answer.

And as we continue to experience things, we find that the questions we pose also change as we age. They become less concerned about about things and 'facts', and more about the self, and 'why do I feel this', and 'why am I thinking that'. These are questions with no answer that could be sealed away, but rather are ongoing questions about the nature of experience and what is happening to us. These are truly the pertinent questions to a spiritualised life imo.

- -

and a spiritualised life is infused in reality, rather than being separate from it. It is being involved in experience and participating in this group reality with others; not on a message board, but in person, holding hands, sharing drinks, lighting up a joint even. It is rooted in the physical and the body, but being informed by the mind and the light of understanding.

And real life is endless confusion. There are no clear answers. The pathway rarely just 'opens up' before us, like the waves did for Moses. It's an effort and an application, and there is constant fluctuation of pain and joy, and pain and joy. Clarity is not something to be grasped like a branch from a tree, and then hidden under one's bed, safe forever. No, confusion is an integral part of this place we call earth.

- -

I thank you for all that you have offered here; and the thousands of posts that you have poured into the forums.

If I may speak freely here, I have seen that you gone as far as you could with your current approach in seeking. The image that has been in my mind has been unchanging for quite some time, and what you revealed here today is absolutely consonant with what I have 'seen'.

when it's time to move on, it's time to move on. I don't say that callously, but with a joyful glint in my typing, as new experiences await you.

Times change, and we all have to find the best and most appropriate environment for who we are.

All the best, and everlasting love,

Plenum
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07-25-2014, 09:08 PM,
#18
RE: End of Seeking
I think you hit the nail on the head, Plenum, that I simply have used all the catalyst in the approach I have been taking and now have been going in circles trying to find the next pathway but it simply isn't there on this path. For some time now, a couple months at least, I have felt ready for my next "initiation" but haven't taken the step until now to move towards it, I guess I haven't been ready. Now, I have stood at this threshold for so long, I have to cross it and I wager I do not know how I will look coming out the other side. I will probably be back, but who knows, depends what I discover within myself on the way.

Thanks for your presence, Plenum, you are a boon to the forum.
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07-25-2014, 09:08 PM,
#19
RE: End of Seeking
Don't cut yourself short. You've helped many people; I've seen it first hand at homecoming (on a massive scale) and I've seen it most recently with Gemini Wolf. You've found a means to help others and to also improve yourself to better do so. Regardless of whether your beliefs are true, there must be something to be said for what you've practiced in enabling you to help others in greater and more profound ways.

Tanner, I'm sad to see you go, but I think I understand. Sometimes the journey must be walked alone. There is also great merit to taking breaks from anything, including taking a break from intense seeking.

But don't think that means I'll let you get out of playing the 2nd half of Descent with Nate, Lynn, and Walker the next time we meet up Smile

Goodbye friend,
xise

Service to Others means Service to All. That includes yourself.
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07-25-2014, 09:10 PM,
#20
RE: End of Seeking
(07-25-2014, 09:01 PM)Bring4th_Plenum Wrote:  ...
And real life is endless confusion. There are no clear answers. The pathway rarely just 'opens up' before us, like the waves did for Moses. It's an effort and an application, and there is constant fluctuation of pain and joy, and pain and joy. Clarity is not something to be grasped like a branch from a tree, and then hidden under one's bed, safe forever. No, confusion is an integral part of this place we call earth.
...

Why?
...only one important statement...All things, all of life, all of the creation is part of one original thought.
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07-25-2014, 09:11 PM,
#21
RE: End of Seeking
We will definitely finish our game in due time. I am sure none of you have seen the last of me, however when next we meet I may be very different. I have a feeling that my next transformation will put me in step with sides of myself that I have not worked with for a very long time.
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07-25-2014, 09:20 PM,
#22
RE: End of Seeking
Good luck my friend.
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07-25-2014, 09:31 PM,
#23
RE: End of Seeking
plenum, godwide_void posted something this month

tanner, r u still master of the unbound? i'll hope u'll consider a b4th blog!

Heart Heart Heart Heart Heart Heart Heart

"I am all that has been, and is, and shall be..."
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07-25-2014, 09:42 PM,
#24
RE: End of Seeking
Sad to see you go, but I understand.

There is an anthro somewhere who needs me and I need them.
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Adonai One
07-26-2014, 06:18 AM,
#25
RE: End of Seeking
Fair enough dude, take care. Although i would say to know nothing is to know everything haha. Peace.



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07-26-2014, 07:33 AM,
#26
RE: End of Seeking
http://8ball.tridelphia.net

i have asked the magic ball if Tanner would return and answer was:*****************

see for yourself he he
there is nothing,that isn't a part of Me,One Infinite Reality.
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07-26-2014, 09:19 AM,
#27
RE: End of Seeking
Heart Heart Heart

"You are not here to fix it... You are here to love it." ~ Q'uo
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07-26-2014, 06:29 PM,
#28
RE: End of Seeking
(07-25-2014, 07:57 PM)Tanner Wrote:  This has come after much pondering and continuous confusion in myself. I have decided to cease my spiritual seeking and indeed drop the vast majority of my philosophy. One, not one, perfect, imperfect, it doesn't really matter. I can only conclude the one truth I know - I don't know anything. After years of meditation, of following, exploring and dissecting numerous philosophies from the simple to the complex. I have realized high, continuous bliss, as well as experienced continuous torment. What have I to show for all this?

Nothing. I haven't truly learned anything or gained any capacity to teach. I've gained a myriad of ideas which do not fit together with no hope of fitting together.

We are the nerve endings of God. You have learned much, and contributed much, but the process is too slow for you. You yearn for higher vibration, but it's a long hard road, and the light at the end of the tunnel is too hard to see.

A while back, I decided that I would just let it flow, and not yearn too much....the Universe has taken good care of me since then. That's why I don't post much anymore. I'm drifting along with the current, and it feels good....Big Grin
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07-26-2014, 09:23 PM,
#29
RE: End of Seeking
I've often wanted to stop seeking because I keep getting burned by the Light. I kept attracting Lucifer.

There is an anthro somewhere who needs me and I need them.
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07-26-2014, 10:17 PM, (This post was last modified: 07-26-2014, 10:17 PM by Adonai One.)
#30
RE: End of Seeking
All paths lead to the same inevitability: Oneness.
...only one important statement...All things, all of life, all of the creation is part of one original thought.
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