Well, my husband and I just got back from a wonderful vacation in South Carolina. I would like to document this fine escapade before it escapes my memory. It was so wonderful to have a break from everything, spending quality time with the one I love. Every moment was truly a treasure.

On Saturday, 5/29, we picked up the rental car. We were supposed to get an economy car, but they were out of that kind so they upgraded us to a very fancy model. I'm not used to cars with so many bells and whistles. It made me feel so very pampered. We swung by for a visit with Carla before heading out onto the road. It was wonderful to see her again and she seems to be doing very well.

We stopped by IHOP for lunch then set off on the approximate 500 mile journey. This was the farthest I've ever driven, our last vacation being only about half the distance. I was wary of being able to navigate the highway, but the new GPS system Walter bought helped tremendously. Thanks to it, we didn't get lost once! Since we left at midday, we did most of our driving at night. It was nice because there were few cars on the road and the construction littering the highway all the way down was stopped for the most part. We had fun stopping for snacks along the way, and we had good music and even better conversation. The last 100 miles were a bit tough for me, as I was getting fairly exhausted, but we finally made it into Charleston ahead of schedule and crashed at Walter's mom's house for the night.

On 5/30 we got up bright and early and spent some time talking with Walter's mom. Then we set off to the Market- a cluster of open-air shops in downtown Charleston. We had a fine meal at Wild Wing Cafe, and I found a gemstone and mineral store that I could have spent weeks in alone. I wish we had rock shops like that around here. I procured several very nice pieces, including a rather large chunk of aquamarine, an elestial quartz and some beautiful petrified wood specimens. Walter also bought me a piece of sodalite in the shape of a heart, which made me go all warm and fuzzy inside. After an hour or two of leisurely shopping we walked down to the waterfront and looked at all the old historical houses. There is a lot of fascinating architecture in Charleston. I wish we'd had the time to actually take a few tours. We walked through the park and eventually made it back to the car. We drove to the hotel we would be staying in and it turned out to be very nice. We had a cozy room on the top floor. It was very quiet the entire time. No one disturbed us once. After unpacking we went back to Walter's mom's house for a dinner of lobster ravioli. It was a wonderful evening.

Memorial Day happened to also be Walter's 28th birthday, so we headed over to his grandpa's house for a family get-together. A great deal of Walter's extended family lives in South Carolina, and I got to met his aunt and her husband and a couple of cousins. Walter's mom and brother also came. His grandpa grilled steaks and his mom brought a sinfully delicious chocolate cheesecake. Walter's brother took us to the movies to see Prince of Persia, which was okay but lacking in plot depth. We also stopped by the mall, though it wasn't as interesting as I had hoped. It's so hard to find a good mall these days. What happened to stores like Natural Wonders and Kaybee toys? We finished off the day with Taco Bell and a little TV before bed.

On 6/1 we ventured to the aquarium. This was my first time at an aquarium. I was more interested in the snakes, lizards and alligators than the fish, but all of it was interesting. I bought a small clay sea turtle and Walter got me an albino alligator plushie. We then had a fine meal at the Noisy Oyster, a seafood restaraunt with crab dip to die for. I also got my first taste of gator tail. It tastes a lot like chicken. After that we headed back to the hotel for a nap and then went on an evening ghost tour through a historical jail. The place didn't seem very haunted to me, but Walter insisted that he experienced several cold spots.

On Wednesday we headed to Isle of Palms beach. We had a wonderful time walking along the shore, playing in the sand and hunting for seashells. Walter is a total fish in the water and enjoyed swimming, but I didn't fare so well in the waves, so I spent most of my time on the shore. Walter got a sunburn of biblical proportions. I, fortunately, had slathered myself with sunscreen beforehand and only got a mild burn. We ate at a little seafood place called Jim's, which had amazing coconut shrimp. We went back to the hotel and I napped while Walter set off to the pool. We had a late dinner at Olive Garden, and experienced some of the best customer service of our lives. I'm usually known for being a stingy tipper, but I splurged on this one.

On Thursday we visited Walter's other grandpa and met a few more of his cousins and a very huge and loveable dog. We then headed back into downtown Charleston. We ate at a very fancy Italian restaraunt called Mercato, which had the most authentic Italian food I've tasted since coming back from Italy. The bill was surprisingly cheap as well. Later that evening we went back to Walter's moms house for one final dinner of spaghetti and meat sauce.

On Friday, 6/4, we got up very early and began the drive home. Traffic was somewhat tedious this time around but we still had a great time talking and listening to music, and the scenery was amazing.

Walter and I had such a great time together and everything seemed to go so perfectly. I thank God for the opportunity to experience times like these.

All my life I've found myself looking up at the stars and wondering when "they" were going to come and take me home. When could I return to my home planet and see all my old friends again?

Recently I've realized the planet I remember living on before this one isn't a place I'm keen on going back to. It was very negative. Yet I still feel this longing. I want to be in space, out with all the stars, not stuck on the ground. If my memories prove correct, the best years I experienced in my previous life were on board various craft, traveling all over the cosmos. I felt more at home on those ships than I've ever felt with my feet on the ground.

I just want to be up there, flying around, *seeing* things. I want to travel. I want to see everything there is. I remember how at peace I felt among the stars, where it was quiet and everything was basked in a glow of mystery. I didn't know enough to actually be a member of the crew, but I was allowed to help out with chores and such and I loved it so much, quietly working up there, surrounded by the stars, contemplating the love of the universe. There wasn't all the clutter and chatter and business and craziness that I experience here. I wasn't alone...there were plenty of beings I spent much time with whom I love with all my heart, but no one was in my face day in and day out. There was no bombarding of stimuli, no irritable boss breathing down my neck, no people yelling in my face over trivial issues. There was no pollution or excess or histrionics.

It was in this "home" that I began sorting out the meaning of love in my own heart. It was amongst the stars that I first began to open my heart to the universe.

I'm not trying to complain. I know that being here is a huge gift, and I am so thankful I get to be on this planet at this time. But still, I find myself wondering if I'll ever be back up there, with the stars, truly at home...

I recently asked my guides to help me translate some automatic writing I've been doing that has come out as a set of symbols. Though the symbols themselves are apparently more of a soul expression on my part, a message came through, perhaps interpreted from my final understanding of why I made the symbols in the first place. This message was sent by 'Many in One' - presumably the collective spark that resides in all souls. Whether any certain entity gave special assistance in sending the message or it was a simple expression of the love of the universe I do not know, but the message in itself was incredibly comforting to me and I would like to share it here. 

The Message:

"Know that a time is coming when you shall fall. Thousands shall cry out to you and their pain will pierce your heart like spears. You will be brought low, and crawl in the darkness, for this is what you have chosen for yourself- to know their suffering as your own. You will hear their cries in your ears and witness their tortures as pictures across your mind, and you will weep bitterly at the fate that has befallen the beloved.

But know this: that you shall rise, a beacon in the darkness, and their pain shall push you forward and lift you above the depths. That pain will be your weapon, your brush, your healing. You are not meant to crawl but to guide, and those that cling to you will find peace as the light grows around you.

You must know that you are not alone, though your will flickers in the void of suffering. Many shall come to you, many shall rally to your side in your time of need. As you lift others up they shall lift you up and heal your wounds and open your eyes. One in many and many in one, this you must remember. Call us and we will listen, we will answer and we will help, as familiar faces and as faces you have forgotten but will remember. Look to the stars, to your heart, to your God, and your pain will no longer bring you down."

Before I really get into this post, I want to let people know it involves material I seem to have channeled from a specific source. I am volunteering this information to be taken at face value, and am not claiming it to be a way of life all must follow. It has simply brought me great comfort and I have wondered if it could do the same for others. This is not a dogma I am trying to establish, I'm just passing on something that has helped me in my own journey.

For a good while I‘ve been debating how to lay out this information I‘ve been getting. I’d like to say that the words I am writing are simply divine wisdom that I’ve channeled from higher realms, but it’s more complicated than that.

Recently I’ve met a spiritual guide named Amun (possibly Atmun or Ame- he doesn’t seem concerned about specific syllables). He has shown me much, but I cannot say that I’ve actually sat down and had a conversation with him. I seem to have a much different way of receiving information from these beings. Instead of me asking him a question and then him answering the question in a literal sense, in English, in a voice that I can actually perceive, he simply implants the knowledge into my mind and heart. I automatically *know* what he’s telling me, feeling it inside of me next to my own thoughts but not quite the same. It comes in a huge rush that makes me feel very full inside. Sometimes he doesn’t even wait for me to finish my questions before the answer bursts into my head. He then leaves it up to me to translate this knowledge into words that others might understand.

To further complicate things, it is sometimes hard to tell when the actual guidance ends and my own applications of it begin. It is hard to tell if what I’m relating actually came from Amun or was simply something I deducted from his teachings. Still, in the end I don’t think it matters much. Information is what it is, no matter where it comes from. Still, I wanted to try to explain this somewhat bizarre arrangement before actually sharing what I've learned.

I have felt *very* compelled to share these things. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed at how much knowledge and understanding is just flowing into my head. I have to carry a notebook with me at all times in case something just pops up. A lot of it seems like basic common sense, and its so simple now that I see it from this side, but when the realizations came to me it made an enormous impact on my life. These simple teachings I’ve received have caused me to turn my life around completely, so I can’t discount them as redundant and would just like to share them in case anyone else could benefit as well.

In spite of the way I receive information, I’ll still post the results in question-and-answer format, simply because it makes it much less confusing. After all, I asked these questions to the stars many times. I just wasn’t expecting an answer!

LESSON ONE - GOOD AND EVIL

Question: There is so much evil in the world. Why do bad things happen to good people? Doesn’t God care about us? Why does He let us suffer this way?

Answer: The problem here is that you are giving two natural forces very stereotyped attributes. Good and evil. You think everything that happens in life has to be either welcomed or shunned, feared or rejoiced upon- taken in singular context, loped into one category or the other. In reality you are merely perceiving light and shadow, positive and negative forces- things that simply are, with no implications soiling the meaning of their existence.

Ask yourself: without the presence of what you deem to be ‘evil’ in the world, would you have any concept of what constitutes ‘good’? Without darkness how would you know the meaning of light? Without sorrow how would you appreciate the joys of life? You cannot have one without the other. Without pain and sorrow and rage and fear you could never be happy in realizing what you had, and you would never be able to grow from your experiences. Pain, though it brings distress and discomfort, is the most potent contributor to growth, evolution, and ultimately complete understanding and a true happiness that embraces every event, positive or negative, as a cause for joy because of the opportunities it can bring.

Though it is not pleasant, pain should be welcomed to those who would wish to know how to rise above it. When you have learned of its importance and accepted it as a worthy key to enlightenment, you will realize how quickly the discomfort fades and a new joy grows in its wake. The ‘bad stuff’ will be quickly forgotten as you realize what knowledge and light has been reaped from the experience.

To put it simply: God allows suffering because He cares about you. He wants you to have every opportunity, every window open. He would never deprive you by leaving you deluded in a world of pleasure that lacked true joy and understanding- that lacked the means to grow, transcend and reach true enlightenment. Therefore the negative is not ‘evil’ as you deem it, but simply an opposite of pleasure that will ultimately lead you to the same end. 'Evil' as you deem it is important. It is necessary. The amount of it that exists is based solely on the perceptions of the souls who experience these cosmic forces in action.

Know that this does not mean that you should pursue negative actions, lose hope and feel as if nothing that you do matters. Spreading the Light benefits both your own soul and all those that come in contact with it. Negativity was created to be broken down, triumphed over- this is the lesson, you see. This is its purpose. The negative will always exist, but by rising in the Light you are ascending the staircase of evolution that it was created to guide you toward. In the end, one and all are the same, so you should not trouble yourself with the state of the world, only seek to do your own part in perpetuating this evolution. In time you will see your perspective shift, and when this new perspective is reached the foundation for a new glory has been laid to build upon.