ayadew
03-06-2010, 04:48 PM
Hello friends.
This thread is a sort of follow-up from my "please help" thread. I've come to a more fuller understanding of what my mental plague was.
Whatever reason it was.. negative entities, entheogen induced energy body overload/explosion, pre-incarnate decision or just something that happened - it doesn't really matter.
Basically, I saw what I've concluded to be true freedom. The fundamental realization that everything can be contradicted, that nothing is static, that everything is exactly what you make it to be.
For a month I was mentally locked in fractal paradoxes. Infinity never ends y'know. It just goes on and on and it's impossible to understand. Paradoxes are impossible to understand.
For some reason or another I found myself unable to accept that some things are impossible to understand. I looped paradoxes in my head all day long, it almost drove me insane.
Today I am more stable. I find myself thinking: it's OK if I don't understand everything as long as there are good things in the world. And the good things are made possible through the bad things, the polarity. And they exist together in some paradoxical order which I can't understand, but that's the only way to make good things possible. Without polarity, paradoxes, you'd not have much freedom to chose.
Today I find myself thinking that it's just a total waste of time to think about paradoxes. I try to simply be in the moment instead, and not let this rational brain engulf all my attention in things it can't understand anyway.
Freedom is a strange thing. It can drive a man to madness. It can give him total power. But none of them are entirely true, for they contradict each other. Always. The divine mystery goes on.
The more I know about the world the less I understand. Ra said that it's absolutely necessary for an entity to realize that it does not understand in order to be harvestable. Well, that's one hindrance less I guess...
This thread is a sort of follow-up from my "please help" thread. I've come to a more fuller understanding of what my mental plague was.
Whatever reason it was.. negative entities, entheogen induced energy body overload/explosion, pre-incarnate decision or just something that happened - it doesn't really matter.
Basically, I saw what I've concluded to be true freedom. The fundamental realization that everything can be contradicted, that nothing is static, that everything is exactly what you make it to be.
For a month I was mentally locked in fractal paradoxes. Infinity never ends y'know. It just goes on and on and it's impossible to understand. Paradoxes are impossible to understand.
For some reason or another I found myself unable to accept that some things are impossible to understand. I looped paradoxes in my head all day long, it almost drove me insane.
Today I am more stable. I find myself thinking: it's OK if I don't understand everything as long as there are good things in the world. And the good things are made possible through the bad things, the polarity. And they exist together in some paradoxical order which I can't understand, but that's the only way to make good things possible. Without polarity, paradoxes, you'd not have much freedom to chose.
Today I find myself thinking that it's just a total waste of time to think about paradoxes. I try to simply be in the moment instead, and not let this rational brain engulf all my attention in things it can't understand anyway.
Freedom is a strange thing. It can drive a man to madness. It can give him total power. But none of them are entirely true, for they contradict each other. Always. The divine mystery goes on.
The more I know about the world the less I understand. Ra said that it's absolutely necessary for an entity to realize that it does not understand in order to be harvestable. Well, that's one hindrance less I guess...
