12-04-2014, 06:59 PM
It's winter, and we feel introspective. I had this insight.
When I convey an idea or a feeling to someone, I have the *motivation*, often non-conscious, or seducing the other of my idea or feeling. For me, this is the backbone of STS. And it shows how much STS I am, and we all are.
Even if subtle, and I am happy, and the other is happy, there is a degree of control, a degree of manipulation, a degree of free will infringement, unless the idea or feeling I convey enpowers the other, and not me.
(remember STS is about self, and it is about empowering self as original motivation; I want to convey my creation to another)
When we do love, the desire to link to someone might be again STS because it is often a feeling of a need waiting to be fulfilled. Not saying it is always. That's why people who fell in love become tormented. Or perhaps I am exhibiting a great degree of confusion.
If a old lady wants to cross the street and I offer my hand, then it is a clear STO action. To me it seems STO is desireless. A bit like the Buddists and the Wu Wei philosophies.
A cat is unpolarized. Doesn't think.
A human is polarized and always polarizing. It thinks, it feels, it has motivations, and desires/aspirations.
If I say one more word, I feel I am getting too much STS.
Also trying to help another out of motivation is distorted. It can be STS. I think true STO is genuine, it is not planned and self-motivated. You know it. It is spontaneous.
Finally, it's not necessarely STS to express ourselves, if we do not have a self-motivation to assert ourselves and our ideas or feelings (our ego).
I am currently mostly STS, perhaps 75%. But mostly of undecided direction.
I try not to strive towards STS or STO. If I strive, then I quickly polarize STS. Even if I try to polarize STO. Because it ends up being forced.
If I let it go, flow, then I might depolarize or polarize slightly STO, especially as I encounter other human beings, especially strangers.
Yet often mind spontaneously polarizes STS, as I sit down home, doing stuff, or interacting with people that I already know..
Both directions are well imprinted in my lifetime.
Also, one always polarizes slightly STS in our society. We need to make money, we need to feed ourselves. If you need to work for your boss, that's not STO either, that's part of the STS hierarchy, yet you depolarize yourself. I feel strongly that nearly everyone around is also strongly STS, doesn't matter the country.
I tried to join a project that I thought of strongly STO, a charity, but it turned out to be strongly STS hierarchical, still with the low end of the pyramid with some strongly STO individuals. But the place was not allowing me to flourish in that direction, so both me and my partner end up quitting our jobs. I now seek living without creating too much time of STS activities to feed myself, or making income, but still I end up going STS nevertheless. Gosh, even this act is not serving others, though it depolarizes myself, and gives a change to you guys of doing some polarization in either way.
But yeah, if we help the lady crossing the street, then that's a STO moment. One of those rare moments.
Hope I haven't bothered you guys that much. Above most, do not feed my STS ego in your replies if possible, be egoless in your replies
Main question is: how do I, now, allow to attract situations that will not either demand me something like working for someone (STS), force me to go my own way of making a living (STS), but instead be of pure STO quality like the example I stated above.
Kindly,
When I convey an idea or a feeling to someone, I have the *motivation*, often non-conscious, or seducing the other of my idea or feeling. For me, this is the backbone of STS. And it shows how much STS I am, and we all are.
Even if subtle, and I am happy, and the other is happy, there is a degree of control, a degree of manipulation, a degree of free will infringement, unless the idea or feeling I convey enpowers the other, and not me.
(remember STS is about self, and it is about empowering self as original motivation; I want to convey my creation to another)
When we do love, the desire to link to someone might be again STS because it is often a feeling of a need waiting to be fulfilled. Not saying it is always. That's why people who fell in love become tormented. Or perhaps I am exhibiting a great degree of confusion.
If a old lady wants to cross the street and I offer my hand, then it is a clear STO action. To me it seems STO is desireless. A bit like the Buddists and the Wu Wei philosophies.
A cat is unpolarized. Doesn't think.
A human is polarized and always polarizing. It thinks, it feels, it has motivations, and desires/aspirations.
If I say one more word, I feel I am getting too much STS.
Also trying to help another out of motivation is distorted. It can be STS. I think true STO is genuine, it is not planned and self-motivated. You know it. It is spontaneous.
Finally, it's not necessarely STS to express ourselves, if we do not have a self-motivation to assert ourselves and our ideas or feelings (our ego).
I am currently mostly STS, perhaps 75%. But mostly of undecided direction.
I try not to strive towards STS or STO. If I strive, then I quickly polarize STS. Even if I try to polarize STO. Because it ends up being forced.
If I let it go, flow, then I might depolarize or polarize slightly STO, especially as I encounter other human beings, especially strangers.
Yet often mind spontaneously polarizes STS, as I sit down home, doing stuff, or interacting with people that I already know..
Both directions are well imprinted in my lifetime.
Also, one always polarizes slightly STS in our society. We need to make money, we need to feed ourselves. If you need to work for your boss, that's not STO either, that's part of the STS hierarchy, yet you depolarize yourself. I feel strongly that nearly everyone around is also strongly STS, doesn't matter the country.
I tried to join a project that I thought of strongly STO, a charity, but it turned out to be strongly STS hierarchical, still with the low end of the pyramid with some strongly STO individuals. But the place was not allowing me to flourish in that direction, so both me and my partner end up quitting our jobs. I now seek living without creating too much time of STS activities to feed myself, or making income, but still I end up going STS nevertheless. Gosh, even this act is not serving others, though it depolarizes myself, and gives a change to you guys of doing some polarization in either way.
But yeah, if we help the lady crossing the street, then that's a STO moment. One of those rare moments.
Hope I haven't bothered you guys that much. Above most, do not feed my STS ego in your replies if possible, be egoless in your replies
Main question is: how do I, now, allow to attract situations that will not either demand me something like working for someone (STS), force me to go my own way of making a living (STS), but instead be of pure STO quality like the example I stated above.
Kindly,