Bring4th

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Hi!

Thanks L&L staff for creating this site and sharing all the wonderful material you have in books and online.

I’m currently 61 and trying to work out what to do with the rest of my life now that I have a pension.  The Law of One viewpoint of trying to develop more toward positive polarity is helpful.

Growing up in the San Fernando Valley, my childhood was probably typical of suburban experience of the 1950s and 60s.  In my high school graduating class of 1,000, we had about four African Americans.

At various times as a youth, I was surprised that people would deteriorate physically, as if I had come from a place where that didn’t happen.

Adulthood started out happily when I joined an Army Band in Monterey, CA in 1972, near the end of the Vietnam war era.  I was blessed to be doing something I enjoyed as my daily work (playing trombone).  I was grateful to be in a situation where I would not be expected to shoot people.  After the term of enlistment ended, I decided to use the GI Bill to study music at a university in San Jose, CA.

The following year, after taking an introductory course in scientology, I decided to become a staff member with them, forsaking my enjoyable musical pursuits.  It took me three years before I could gain enough rationality to recognize what kind of group I was in and then I resigned.  Cults and cult leaders have an ability to suspend rationality in followers.

I posted online a summary of my scientology experiences at a website for ex-scientologists.  Here is an edited version of it, with a glossary of scientology slang terms at the end.

Began reading Edgar Cayce books around 1980 and felt at home with his ideas, as I already accepted reincarnation.

The post-cult 1980s period was difficult for me:  various menial jobs, went through an emotional divorce, stayed briefly at homeless shelters.  What brought some stability back into my life was getting vocational training on word processing and spreadsheets (1987).  This was before the general population was computer literate.  I had a fairly easy time finding work as a word processor for about 15 years.  

Around 2002 I had a realization that much of what I had learned about history and politics from public schools and the mainstream media was not true or distorted.  I felt impelled to start a personal re-education program.  I describe some of this process in an essay titled Repairing a Pre-Internet Education.

I began exploring channeled literature:
  • Laura Knight-Jadczyk
  • Barbara Marciniak, Bringers of the Dawn – an introduction to STS and STO in easily understood language
  • Law of One books, Wanderers Handbook, messages from Q’uo
  • Jane Roberts and Seth
  • Esther Hicks and Abraham


In 2011 I was fortunate to qualify for a pension.  A very welcome event, since job prospects were not good for men in their late 50s without professional training; I had been living in homeless shelters most of 2010 and 2011.

I don’t see current STS institutions being dissolved.  It seems that STS and STO are both being empowered at the same time.  However, we have an increased freedom to create and switch participation to organizations and systems based on higher values.

The heightened modern connectivity and Internet access to infinite information feels like a precursor to 4th D living.

I am grateful to be on earth during this special time.

Jerry
Welcome Jerry! Thanks for sharing your story, seems like quite a journey!
Quote:At various times as a youth, I was surprised that people would deteriorate physically, as if I had come from a place where that didn’t happen.

Welcome to B4, Jerry.

Regarding your above statement. I felt the same. I remember being extremely saddened and not understanding when I would see "old" people. In addition to that, I don't seem to age as my contemporaries do. I look much younger and always have.

I was wondering if now you are exploring music at all, as you did when playing trombone in the military band?

I agree that the Internet has awakened in the global population a sense that all is connected, all is one.
(03-23-2015, 01:29 PM)JerryF Wrote: [ -> ]I don’t see current STS institutions being dissolved.  It seems that STS and STO are both being empowered at the same time.  However, we have an increased freedom to create and switch participation to organizations and systems based on higher values.

The heightened modern connectivity and Internet access to infinite information feels like a precursor to 4th D living.

Hi Jerry,

I love these two paragraphs here. I totally agree with you. It would seem to make sense to me, too, that as our cycle is nearing its end, we have more and more people approaching harvestability in both positive and negative polarities. If we are a planet undergoing a mixed harvest, as seems to be the case, we'd then have very self-oriented and very other self-oriented people here on Earth (as well as a bunch of undecideds), and life/society here would look quite confused as the two camps separate and vie to accomplish their last-minute tasks prior to harvest. With all the good and bad things currently happening on Earth, it's easy to see this potentially being the case.

As for the second quoted paragraph, great take, and again I agree. I've used the internet/data sharing as a metaphor for 4D, as my opinion/subjective experience have led me to believe that 4D is all about information being shared at the speed of love/light.

Welcome to bring4th!
Thanks for sharing your story, Jerry! Far too often cults prey upon and manipulate people's good intentions. Creating willing slaves is a big way to start polarizing STS. Who knows, Hubbard may think he's truly doing what's best for humanity - it's so easy for people to get confused. I'm SO happy to hear that you and your wife made it out almost unscathed. Welcome to the forums!!!

Quote:I am grateful to be on earth during this special time.

That's the stuff!
You are a perfect soul and in that, find comfort, empowerment, and peace. Your time is now.
Hello JerryF,

Thanks for posting! I hope you find a home here where you feel comfortable sharing your seeking and reflections on your self and the world.

Your journey has had some ups and downs it seems, and difficult downs at that. But you've stayed faithful to your heart and not relinquished your desire for truth.

If it's okay to ask, would you elaborate on your experience in homeless shelters and what, if any, learning you gained from your time there? If you would prefer not to share, please ignore the request.

My under-informed impression of shelters is that they are not a place of generosity and mutual support so much as they are places where one must always be on guard against theft and personal harm.

At any rate, thank you for being here and welcome!

Smile GLB
(03-24-2015, 11:12 AM)Bring4th_GLB Wrote: [ -> ]. . .
If it's okay to ask, would you elaborate on your experience in homeless shelters and what, if any, learning you gained from your time there? If you would prefer not to share, please ignore the request.

My under-informed impression of shelters is that they are not a place of generosity and mutual support so much as they are places where one must always be on guard against theft and personal harm.

At any rate, thank you for being here and welcome!

Smile GLB

I typically felt safe when staying at homeless housing.  Reasonable attentiveness was needed to keep possessions from being stolen.  

One in Florida had mandatory Bible study.

Salvation Army facilities offered a limit of a few nights free housing in a clean, safe dorm setting.

Food was usually free and plentiful (although some unhealthy – processed, starchy).  It was possible to get 2 or 3 free meals a day if you were willing to stand in line and associate with other homeless people.

At the largest shelter (60+ in the room), the hardest part was getting a good night’s sleep with other people coughing or talking at night.  After a few nights of not being able to get enough sleep there, my mental alertness dropped way down.  

I was touched by the generosity of Christian churches with one homeless program in Central California.  The program did not have a building for us to sleep in.  Instead, each night of the week a different church would provide us with dinner and a place to sleep.  Many of us had our own sleeping bags.

Let’s put this in perspective.  Being homeless in California is a more affluent lifestyle than what the average standard of living is in some poor countries.  We had ample food, running water, protection from the cold and felt generally safe.  

The best financed programs were the ones for veterans.  I qualified by having an honorable discharge.

There can sometimes be personality conflicts when required to share a room with someone incompatible.  And there were restrictions on freedom (signing in and out when leaving the facility, group meetings, weekly meetings with your case worker to discuss your progress).  The discomfort of all that provides motivation to move on to something better in life.

One thing you learn when you are broke financially is who your friends are.  

I learned how people will sometimes lie to qualify for aid.

The biggest lesson was that if this is the condition my life was in, I need to make some changes in what I am doing and how I am thinking.  There was time to reflect on how my choices brought me to this point and how I can make better choices in the future.

Some of the other homeless people I encountered were into blaming others for their condition in life:  “My life is screwed up because of what my boss or ex-wife did to me.”

With the availability of abundant homeless aid comes the temptation to be a habitual taker who does not give back; focusing on “working the system” to see how much you can get for yourself.  To combat that tendency, some programs require residents to do weekly volunteer work in their community.  My volunteer work included working at local libraries and doing data entry for Habitat for Humanity.

I'm glad that phase is over.  I'm doing much better in life nowadays.  Doing a lot of trombone playing in community bands and even some trombone teaching.  There's a lot to be grateful for in my life.  Every day is a gift to be appreciated.

For an inspirational account of homeless living, I recommend Liz Murray’s book/movie, Homeless to Harvard.  She’s an amazing woman who was able to excel in high school and graduate from Harvard despite coming from a severely dysfunctional family and being homeless as a teenager.

Jerry
Quite an inspiring story, Jerry. Welcome.
Welcome.
(03-24-2015, 12:56 PM)JerryF Wrote: [ -> ]I'm glad that phase is over.  I'm doing much better in life nowadays.  Doing a lot of trombone playing in community bands and even some trombone teaching.  There's a lot to be grateful for in my life.  Every day is a gift to be appreciated.

Thank you, Jerry, for sharing your experience in shelters. It is a world very foreign to me, and I appreciate the window into it. I'm glad to know that there was aid and comfort available to you in those circumstances. Thank you for the book recommendation as well. I've been drawn to stories of people overcoming impossible odds through dogged use of the will, and have added it to my To Read list.