Bring4th

-----

-----

I'd try listening to some binaural beats to help meditate.
You can google for Binaural Beats. There are free programs that help you generate them.
They can help you relax.

There's a free program called Brainwave Generator that creates binaural beats.

Do you have the means to *leave* Turkey? Maybe head north into the EU or someplace else not quite so religiously-focused? I suspect a change of scene might do you a lot of good.

One of the hardest things, I've found, is discovering that you've changed while nothing else around you has. In my case, at least, heading out and going someplace NEW was a good solution.

Hope this helps!

[deleted]

-----

[deleted]

Greetings brother, 

My heart goes out to you and I can completely relate as I have been close to suicide more times than I can recall.

I'm not going to lecture you on the karmic ramifications of suicide, but please realise that this horrible state of being WILL pass! 

With all of your personal preferences, I would say, do whatever you have to do to get the hell out of Turkey as soon as you possibly can.

I can see how scary a prospect that may be, but surely suicide is even scarier?

Please be aware that even though you don't have a support group in your personal life, we at bring4th can be that support group if you let us...

We Do Love you, we Do care and we DO want you to be happy and well! 

I sincerely hope that this helps in some small way!

Hang in there brother! 

L & L 

Jim 

Oh gosh, Earth_Spirit, please stay with us! I cannot begin to imagine how very difficult it has been for you. You have a triple whammy, with the sexual orientation plus the fundamentalist religion background, plus the social anxiety. Any ONE of those things could be enough to make someone want to give up.

But, you are stronger than you realize! You just took the time to reach out to us, and that counts a LOT! That is the first step towards finding solutions! I don't know right now what those solutions are, but I do know that everything is catalyst, to help us grow, learn, and evolve.

It might seem really bleak right now, like you have no options, but you do. There are always options. The first step in finding those options is to make the choice to learn whatever it is you are supposed to learn from this situation. Then the doors will start opening!

Also, just being 21 is difficult too. It can be scary to think about becoming an independent adult. That is difficult for every young person, and I assure you, it DOES get better! Feeling additional anxiety around this age is absolutely normal. I realize it's even harder for you because of the other issues you're dealing with, but keep in mind that a big part of what you're feeling right now WILL pass as you pass through this phase of your life.

What I'm saying is that some of your anxiety is from your circumstances, but some of it is just from being your age! and that part will pass!

Even though you don't know us, we are here for you! Many of us are part of the same soul families and are reconnecting via the internet. So even though you might not have friends or support in your everyday life, you DO have friends and support!

In answer to your question, my understanding is that suicide isn't really a solution, because the issues just follow the soul into the next life. All it does is postpone it, at best, plus it probably adds additional trauma that must then be healed.

As to how to meditate for guidance, the simplest way I would suggest is:

1. State your intention. Reach out to the Creator, or to any beings of the Light that can hear your call for help. Since you are in a state of transition in terms of your beliefs, I realize that this might be difficult for you, since you aren't quite sure what you think about God, etc. anymore. That's ok. You don't need to have a belief right now. Just seek whatever is the highest, most loving, most powerful, source of LOVE/LIGHT and that could be your Higher Self, or it could be angelic beings, or any beings of the Light, or just 'The Creator.' I don't really think it matters, as long as you specify that you are in need of guidance from your highest source of Love and Light.

2. Focus on your breath. Just relax, and BREATHE. Anxiety and deep breathing cannot coexist! So the simplest way to clear anxiety is to take deep breaths. This will also help get you into a meditative state and open your mind to higher guidance. As any thoughts pop into your head, just let them float by, like clouds, but don't chase after them. The objective is to clear you mind of the noise, the chatter, and focus on the stillness within. Focus on the point between your eyes and a little further back inside your head - the site of the '3rd eye' while breathing deeply and calmly.

3. You might consider paying attention to your dreams. Sometimes I get guidance in my dreams. If they are dark and murky, they are just my subconscious working through the day's events. But, sometimes, they are brightly colored and lit up, and crystal clear. It is that type of dream that may have new ideas. I never take them literally though! They are symbolic! That is a whole topic unto itself. I am suggesting it as a source of inspiration for you. Your Higher Self might communicate with you that way. But it's important to remember NOT to take each dream literally. In other words, if you dream about something negative, that doesn't mean it's going to happen in 'real life' or that it's supposed to happen. It might just be subconscious fears that you are working through in your dreams. Focus on the symbolism in the dreams, rather than taking them literally.

Here are some hotlines that you can call, to get some immediate help! It doesn't matter that you are in another country, except that you might have to pay for the calls. But please do call them! They are trained to help people in your situation!


National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
TTY 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889)
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
For individuals & family

Suicide Hotline
1-800-442-HOPE
http://www.http://hopeline.com/

National Adolescent Suicide Hotline
1-800-621-4000
More resources for teens: http://www.pbs.org/wnet/cryforhelp/episo...-teens/11/

Please stay with us! You are a beautiful soul and surely there are solutions. We are here for you!
             

I understand totally. 

I agree with Jim Kent that all things pass. Life isn't static and always changes. Things always shift and it will get better. 

The thing I find most helpful in hopeless-feeling times is to have a plan. I agree with others here that getting out of Turkey, where your sexuality isn't accepted, would be a priority. 

Could you go to college in England or the U.S.? If you think you might want to do that, you can start exploring how to make it happen.

As far as being an illustrator or web designer: you definitely CAN do these things. (I was an illustrator for many years and still do some now.) Have you ever tried designing a website? You could play with that by going to Wordpress and putting together a website for yourself with a template. It's free. You could learn code later. And as far as illustration goes, have you ever played with Photoshop, Corel Painter, Flash, or Illustrator? You can probably download free trial versions, but you'll want to get a tutorial so you have some idea what to do. Youtube has many teaching videos from people sharing what they know.

It might be helpful to make a list of possibilities. What if you lived in a country where you could be yourself? How would that change your life? What are some ways you could make that happen? 

Hey my friend A fellow being here, also a programmer in the web design business. I feel you in that this world is a bit crazy, you just have to rise above that and put your focus on where you are right now. You say you are procrastinating your goals, what are they? There's no need to set forth goals that you feel bad about, try to focus on things that make you filled with joy. What do you love doing most in the world? This is something I've made conscious in my life, and it has reference from the Ra material as well. 

Quote:18.5 Ra: I am Ra. The proper role of the entity is in this density to experience all things desired, to then analyze, understand, and accept these experiences, distilling from them the love/light within them. Nothing shall be overcome. That which is not needed falls away.

Give this quote a thought. From your experiences, what is it that fills you with joy and life? Not just in the moment but that which extends in time. Drugs or masturbation are examples of experiences that might feel good in the moment, but leaves you with less energy than you began with when the moment has passed. So find the opposites of that, for me it is painting, playing music, hanging out with people I love and that gives love to me, skateboarding, coding, walking in the woods... the list goes on. You have these things in you as well, find them! Small and big things, it doesn't matter as long as it gives you energy instead of taking. Then just try to put as much focus as you can on that. 

Follow your heart, do what you love to the fullest. It will gain momentum in time and some day you will not only swim in those waves but be able to surf them
A little exercise I do when I have dark clouds hanging in my head, is that I breathe deeply and focus all my energy in the top of my head, then I send a wave down to my feet on exhaling. Feel the energy move through you. This is a cleansing technique that I learned from the writings of Thoth. 

Also, try searching in the quo material for concerns in your life (depression, sexuality, religion, family etc) it can be very uplifting and practical in its exemplification. Just google "site:llresearch.org keywords" and you might find something

Peace          

[deleted]

Earth_spirit, please check your pm box. I just sent you a private message. (Click on Dashboard, upper right, then scroll down to inbox.)

-----

There is no escaping our problems by ending an incarnation short, only an infinite amount of time to work through them. You have the strength to carry through or else your higher self would have you elsewhere. With much struggle come much reward. Be patient with yourself as you awaken and remember to meditate often and relax in the present moment. When we find the love in every circumstance it all becomes much easier.

You can do anything you believe in! Whatever you believe, you're right! This is your dream, live it as you please! I came from a hellfire and damnation religious background and now I see that heaven and hell are here and now, and are a point of view. What you perceive is up to you, it is all you. Love and accept yourselves back into unity.

Im sending much love your way and may you rest in the love/light of the one infinite creator. Namaste.

It took me 10 years to completely let go of Christianity. So I'd say you're doing really good, to have figured it out at such a young age! Indoctrination can be difficult to let go of. Even after I left, people would threaten me with the fear of 'hell'. It all seems so silly now...to live in such fear, all based on books written by humans.

You are wise to not tell any of your family that you've left Islam. Keep in mind that they probably love you very much, but are just so deep in the indoctrination that their behavior is based on fear.

You might consider moving to a country that offers free college education. I know there are a couple of countries that offer it to even residents of other countries. I forgot which ones though. It could be something to work towards.

I'm sure suicide must be extremely traumatic, so doing that would just add more issues to carry over into your next life, and that need to be healed. It seems to me that it would just compound your problems, NOT solve anything.

Also, think of the people who love you. It would be extremely traumatic for them!

There are solutions. You do have people who care about you. Suicide isn't a solution; it's just adding more problems.

Suicide is like dying in a game when you haven't got any save points. The real danger of suicide is that you may very likely end up right back where you are and having to make this whole choice all over again. Very time-consuming and redundant and I imagine after a few times traumatizing to the soul. The issue is that the conflict that is currently in your consciousness will not be resolved, so you will just end up creating a new experience to resolve it. It may not be the same, but it will likely include many of the same catalysts.

There are even some theories that suicide just transfers you to another time-line where your suicide was unsuccessful and instead just the people of this time-line have to deal with your death. There are all sorts of theories, but in general it's not really recommended spiritually. There is maybe one exception and I'd say that is in an act of Hara Kiri - that is, if you were about to die or be killed by someone else and you instead take your own life before they can. Since death is coming at that point anyways, it's less of an unconscious decision.

In the end, that is the real 'issue' with suicide is that it is largely driven by unconsciousness and separation. Thus, it does not take you forward in to unity but rather exemplifies the separation you feel.

If you do it, the entire life would be a waste and you'll end up repeating the incarnation because of lessons not learned.

Therefore this backdoor out is actually nothing but a door that leads you right back to where you are now.

So why start over instead of having the perseverance to figure this out? You're 21 freaking years old man. You're not even a third of the way through you life and youre already ready to give up?

The main illusion that you picked up is procrastination. And do your friends know about your goals?

Dear earth spirit,

''Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?'' (quote taken from Pinterest)

All life is sacred, yours included. Problems will come and go. Remove from your thinking the 'option of suicide'. In actuality it is NOT a viable option because it solves nothing.
You can work through this and in the working become more resilient. I'm feeling you, we've all been there at some point. Reaching out is wonderful in and of itself. Never give up! (especially not at 21) 

Have no fear of living, my friend, for the worst that can happen is that you will die.

(03-27-2015, 10:42 AM)APeacefulWarrior Wrote: [ -> ]Do you have the means to *leave* Turkey?  Maybe head north into the EU or someplace else not quite so religiously-focused?  I suspect a change of scene might do you a lot of good.

One of the hardest things, I've found, is discovering that you've changed while nothing else around you has.  In my case, at least, heading out and going someplace NEW was a good solution.

Hope this helps!

I really agree. That seems like the best possible solution if you have the means, as stated. That was my instinctive reaction. This is one of the first replies I've seen. I'm looking forward to reading whether this is a viable option for you.

(03-27-2015, 10:55 AM)earth_spirit Wrote: [ -> ]@Gemini Wolf

Thanks for your suggestion. I'll try it out and post feedback here.


@APeacefulWarrior

I wish that were possible... I'm sick of this religious backwater country. I'm afraid I can't leave this place unless I manage to become skilled enough for freelance work, or get hired by a company abroad. That can not happen anytime soon.


@michael430

Thank you very much. If you don't mind, I would like your analysis to be focused on things like intelligence / mental abilities because I want to know whether I could become a digital illustrator. Or a programmer / web designer at least. Please note that some planets' houses change when using Placidus system.

I don't mind if your analysis is public.

There are some types of certifications that don't require THAT much skill. It's well worth researching. Because of a mental illness that I have, it's hard for me to get the motivation to work. But I'm looking on getting my insurance license eventually. I've heard that it's not that hard. I realize that it seems like there are a lot of steps to take, but desperation finds a way out. And I don't think that ending your life is a good long-term solution. You'll eventually have to face your problem, as you mentioned.

-----

We are all afraid, it is part of being human. However, think about why you are afraid. What is really important and valuable to you? I get the sense that you don't really want death, but you perhaps have not yet found your reason to live. That can create a very dissonant conundrum within oneself.

-----

(03-27-2015, 04:51 PM)earth_spirit Wrote: [ -> ]@Marc

I hope I do have the strength to get past this... Sometimes I feel chest tightness because of how much I must do in a few months and free myself from my judgemental family at least.

Thanks for your support.


@isis

              to you as well!


@Monica

I wish I had figured it out younger. Then I would have more time to learn drawing because it is considered a horrible sin by Sunni Muslims (in afterlife artists will have to give life to the bodies they've drawn, and if they fail those characters they've drawn will torment them). Now I must somehow manage to get reasonably good by the end of this summer (that is partly my fault).. I'm not sure if that is humanly possible unless I awaken some dormant talent for drawing or something.

My parents don't believe this drawing business at all. If I can't manage to get some results before long, they could force me to work at the grand bazaar or become a waiter at a restaurant.


@AngelofDeath

I suppose you're right.. I just feel extremely afraid sometimes. Though I respectfully disagree with "for the worst that can happen is that you will die. "


@Jeremy

Thanks for the.. admonisment


@Blunt Force

You're exactly right. Only two of my online friends know about my desire to learn drawing, one of whom helped me a bit.


@Enyiah

Thanks for the encouraging post.


@Lighthead

To get out of this country, I must either learn to draw or get some programming / web design skills. I can not think of any other way. Even if I do that, I'm not sure how I can settle permanently abroad as I heard it can be pretty difficult to expat into a Western country.

Unless my plans work out.. I fear my future is dark.

I was going to ask you more about that, but to be honest, I don't really know all of your circumstances. Especially the ones that involve your country. I would say to just keep on trying, and don't limit yourself to just a few options. It's always darkest before the dawn.