03-29-2015, 04:19 PM
Wanderer : a person who travels around rather than settling in one place
I'm not especially fond of travelling and would prefer settling in one place. It is surprising that I chose to come to earth as the challenges in this lifetime/place can be daunting.
I am an introvert spending most of my free time alone. I am a learner. This world has been a classroom and I've always had a desire to 'evolve'.
I have faint memories of my pre-incarnative state. It was a state of bliss and Oneness and before coming into this human vehicle I recall saying to myself «I must remember this». Never really 'enjoying' life in the 'world', to me it was boring and I could never bring myself to truly invest in it.
My childhood was not particularly happy. I never bonded with my father who abandonned his family at some point. He did not provide for my sister and I leaving my mother the burden of raising 2 girls on her own. Emotionally I was unable to survive in this chaos and basically felt totally LOST.
I met my ex-husband when I was 14 years old. It felt like I already knew him. He was my first love and we were married 2 weeks before my 18[sup]th[/sup] birthday. Looking back of course I would say that was way too young for a serious commitment! He was a good husband for the most part but for some reason I cannot understand, the relationship did not work out. On some level we may not have been meant for each other, but I always felt that ''he'' was the love of my life. I invested in the marraige with everything I had but it was never enough and I was not happy. I had tried everything and it did not work. I relunctantly felt I had to leave him and go my own way. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.
He eventually re-married with someone whom was introduced to him by my sister. I felt very betrayed and hurt. Deep down in my heart I still loved him so very much and wanted nothing more than to be able to 'work things out'. He meant everything to me. I still love him even though, mostly, I wish I did not because it feels like the un-requited love where all one gets out of it is pain and suffering and the desire for true and deep union is either not permitted or possible. I've always felt too broken by the whole thing that I would not consider re-marraige an option under any circumstance...even if by some miracle ''he'' would come into my life again. The answer would be «no».
I know I am mostly of the STO polarity. It was a conscious choice on my part at some point, mostly because it's ''who'' I am (in this lifetime?). I do STO oriented work as a caregiver for the sick and elderly. It has been challenging in many ways, psychologically and physically. I come into contact with people and situations that make up the sadder part of life; death and dying. I feel blessed to have had the privilege to be of 'service' in this way. I constantly seek to balance the underlying current of giving and receiving part of this type of service. I am looking forward to the day I can retire and have more room for playful leisure time without the responsibilities.
I invested my life energy in the spiritual by reading books and mostly looking within and «feeling» my way through. The following passage is an affirmation of my perceptive viewpoint :
''You, yourselves are meant to discover reality from the inside and to direct your life in this way.'' (page 44) Bringers of the Dawn - Barbara Marciniak
Numerous times I have felt on the verge of physical and psychological collapse. C'mon life is not easy. Little by little now I feel I am gaining solid ground. At times, I can actually feel the «joy» within which I am taking as a very good sign.:-)
The heart chakra is the most developped within me.
I began to take interest in extraterrestrial life only a couple of years ago. This attraction was seeded by a sense of exasperation with regards to life on this planet Earth. Desperate for answers/understanding I began to look into the far-out otherwordly information from whence comes my rendez-vous with the Ra material via the Hidden-Hand dialogues.
As a first-time reader, I cannot attempt to give any kind of review of what I gained/understood.
The Ra material may be helpful in bringing humanity closer to their star origins
Once, in the twinkling of a nano-second the word Pleiades was written in my inner vision. The letters had a fiery look to them but it all happened so fast! I am guessing there is a possibility that they are my 'star' family?!
I do not understand why life has to be so difficult and wearisome for people. It is a formidable task to believe ''we are loved'' when everything points the other way! To know and understand sums up where I am at at the moment. I came here for a reason, the purpose of my being here. My intention is to find that out and grow/learn in every moment.
Namaste
I'm not especially fond of travelling and would prefer settling in one place. It is surprising that I chose to come to earth as the challenges in this lifetime/place can be daunting.
I am an introvert spending most of my free time alone. I am a learner. This world has been a classroom and I've always had a desire to 'evolve'.
I have faint memories of my pre-incarnative state. It was a state of bliss and Oneness and before coming into this human vehicle I recall saying to myself «I must remember this». Never really 'enjoying' life in the 'world', to me it was boring and I could never bring myself to truly invest in it.
My childhood was not particularly happy. I never bonded with my father who abandonned his family at some point. He did not provide for my sister and I leaving my mother the burden of raising 2 girls on her own. Emotionally I was unable to survive in this chaos and basically felt totally LOST.
I met my ex-husband when I was 14 years old. It felt like I already knew him. He was my first love and we were married 2 weeks before my 18[sup]th[/sup] birthday. Looking back of course I would say that was way too young for a serious commitment! He was a good husband for the most part but for some reason I cannot understand, the relationship did not work out. On some level we may not have been meant for each other, but I always felt that ''he'' was the love of my life. I invested in the marraige with everything I had but it was never enough and I was not happy. I had tried everything and it did not work. I relunctantly felt I had to leave him and go my own way. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.
He eventually re-married with someone whom was introduced to him by my sister. I felt very betrayed and hurt. Deep down in my heart I still loved him so very much and wanted nothing more than to be able to 'work things out'. He meant everything to me. I still love him even though, mostly, I wish I did not because it feels like the un-requited love where all one gets out of it is pain and suffering and the desire for true and deep union is either not permitted or possible. I've always felt too broken by the whole thing that I would not consider re-marraige an option under any circumstance...even if by some miracle ''he'' would come into my life again. The answer would be «no».
I know I am mostly of the STO polarity. It was a conscious choice on my part at some point, mostly because it's ''who'' I am (in this lifetime?). I do STO oriented work as a caregiver for the sick and elderly. It has been challenging in many ways, psychologically and physically. I come into contact with people and situations that make up the sadder part of life; death and dying. I feel blessed to have had the privilege to be of 'service' in this way. I constantly seek to balance the underlying current of giving and receiving part of this type of service. I am looking forward to the day I can retire and have more room for playful leisure time without the responsibilities.
I invested my life energy in the spiritual by reading books and mostly looking within and «feeling» my way through. The following passage is an affirmation of my perceptive viewpoint :
''You, yourselves are meant to discover reality from the inside and to direct your life in this way.'' (page 44) Bringers of the Dawn - Barbara Marciniak
Numerous times I have felt on the verge of physical and psychological collapse. C'mon life is not easy. Little by little now I feel I am gaining solid ground. At times, I can actually feel the «joy» within which I am taking as a very good sign.:-)
The heart chakra is the most developped within me.
I began to take interest in extraterrestrial life only a couple of years ago. This attraction was seeded by a sense of exasperation with regards to life on this planet Earth. Desperate for answers/understanding I began to look into the far-out otherwordly information from whence comes my rendez-vous with the Ra material via the Hidden-Hand dialogues.
As a first-time reader, I cannot attempt to give any kind of review of what I gained/understood.
The Ra material may be helpful in bringing humanity closer to their star origins
Once, in the twinkling of a nano-second the word Pleiades was written in my inner vision. The letters had a fiery look to them but it all happened so fast! I am guessing there is a possibility that they are my 'star' family?!
I do not understand why life has to be so difficult and wearisome for people. It is a formidable task to believe ''we are loved'' when everything points the other way! To know and understand sums up where I am at at the moment. I came here for a reason, the purpose of my being here. My intention is to find that out and grow/learn in every moment.
Namaste