Bring4th

Full Version: Conflicted Interest and Conflict of Self
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.
I have so much to say I am not sure where to begin and I need to get this out.....

I stand at a fork in the road, I look both ways, I know what the answer would be if I asked someone of a specific point of view which way I should go.

I was born with christian values, and christian heritage, I was raised in a pentecostal church. I know what their view would be on what my choice should be.

But during that time growing up, I never really 'felt' what everyone else seem to 'feel' from it. I never got the same thing from it. My real issue started with the analysis of "The love of money is the root of all evil". I started taking that apart and realized there was a deeper principle. Those who are selfish and those who help others. And then later, I realized other emotions reflected this nature of self vs. other. I didn't realize I was examining the basics of Service to Self, Service to Others. I had the concept even without the phrasing and before I ever read anything that describes it.

I also always had issues with the concept of how creation took place. The whole idea of how Adam and Eve started out seemed to break all the rules established later, which violated the idea of "God is the same, yesterday, today, and tomorrow", which also seemed to be conflicted in many other places as well.

Going down this road to it's logical conclusion lead me to study more on the creation of the bible its self. Everything of the ideas about christianity rooted its self there, so that's were I took my limited studies.

What I discovered really didn't help me any, because not only did many things not mesh, there are even more conflicts that arose. A basic principle of this was Free Will. Scholars have been going in circles over this issue for centuries. Does such a thing exist? According to everything in the bible, I have to conclude, No. (re: Romans 9 is the best example)

Outside of that, with all the outside world, Yes, Free Will does indeed exist, and in fact, is paramount it seems.

What disturbs me the most, is how the bible its self came about. It has been translated over and over, some of it passed down word of mouth for hundreds of years, by word of mouth until penned, then split, then remerged, then joined by other material, then the new testament writers, and then finally how the final version was assembled.

Inside the religion, you just accept these things and the work of God. Without religious glasses, it can be a religious text that has some good values, but written by man, and also re-written for political reasons. And mans nature of the educated to lead around the uneducated or the rich to rule the poor is no secret. Those who wish to serve self find a way to control those who wish to serve others. etc.

My conflict arises from within in so much that because I was raised a certain way, it now is impossible to tell what really is "That little voice in your ear" only being your upbringing. The human mind is a fascinating thing for sure. It can be trained to believe what ever you want it to be trained. There are experiments that show you can force it to accept things it knows otherwise is true.

What I am trying to understand is: Is my feelings about things and my conflict just programming, or an "inner voice" to say what is right or wrong?

Inside the religion, you have no free will, and you are warned not to go outside the box, or to question, just to accept and believe, and trust God is knowing what he is doing, in contrast, outside the religion, you have free will, to explore your self, to have self respect, and to value the diversity of the world, things of which the religion, at its true core, shuns.

I can't live in both worlds, that's not really possible for me now. Some might be able to resolve it, I can not. So, I stand at a fork in the road of my life. If I ask someone in the religion, and I can almost tell you what they would say. If I ask someone outside the religion, and I can take a few good guesses what they would say.

So, I have waked this out full circle. And I begin again, and around I go. There is a lot more then this. The basics of it being, and I it seems mathematically impossible, that we are not alone in existence. Those who think the world is only 6,000 years old need to visit a natural history museum a few times to see some Dinosaurs. Those are just the facts.

I also find the scientists funny sometimes, pretending they are not religious when they too, have their own creation myths that they do not treat as theory but treat as fact, something you can not prove, but desperately cling to and believe in.

And to fuel this fire a little more, all the esoteric material delivered by means of channeling. Much of it conflicts, some agrees. It all depends on the listener to what they choose to accept. (which is interesting you are told to accept what you will and not what you will not to, at least that bit is different then the rest) Some of this material attempts to resolve the differences between the religious and the scientific, and in some cases, even is partly being proven by science. Also of upmost importances is the value of free will.

And finally, the synchronicity of events in my life that have lead me to this point. little happenings that add more to the puzzle, or expand on previous knowledge. I'd hear one thing, that would stir a thought, then another, that would add to those thoughts, and another, then a burst of information that would be another piece, and then a rest, and then another burst of information that would expand the previous, and so forth, and so on. Never to much at a time, and always advancement in concept or idea, until now that there is enough to challenge everything I thought I knew. Sometime, I would evaluate a thought before it was spelled out. (like the concept of service to self, service to others.). One puzzle piece at a time.

So, what's the conflict? What I feel I need to study now is in conflict with how I was raised. I either need to abandon many of the old beliefs to move forward, or abandon my forward search. The reason for this is because of the general fundamentalism of a pentecostal upbringing. Some of it I don't accept as is now, but there is a core element set that needs to be dealt with.

Honestly, I look at the world and I see a polarity shifting, politics is an easy target of examination of polarization, just listening to the news and you see the shift in the world. The service to self vs. service to others polarization. I see the fundamentalism of the christian world and it seriously disturbs me now. I feel I want to move a certain direction, …. but….. then comes in that old feeling of "Warning, Warning, Danger Will Robinson"

"Is it live, or is it memorex". Truly, bad quote, but is it a live sense of "God" telling me what not to do, or just upbringing programming? And thus, why I said, I already know what answer I would get depending on who I ask.

Do I want to explore these things?, yes, I do want to examine them, I have been really following this path most of my life anyway. But now, I am at a stage were I need to truly follow the path, or go back, and I am torn over this. My family would freak out if I did, they wouldn't understand it, I am not comfortable with it only because of the 'feelings'.

What path is it I am looking at besides going back?, What is it that is so incompatible with my upbringing? The basics of this are life, how life came to this world, reincarnation, the idea that we have lived many lives, the power of thought and consciousness, the nature of creation, study of the Law of One material, changes in the world in regards to polarity, I guess you could say all the "New Ager" stuff. These ideas put the religious in a tussle real fast. Not only that, but I seem to be drawn to the idea of channeling for some reason. Out of all this stuff, it seems to interest me the most, though I am not fully certain why yet, which is also one of the things I am interested in exploring.

So, there you have it, in a nutshell. There is no easier way to explain it. Sorry for the wall of text, but I needed to get this mess out in some form. I guess this turned into more rant then anything, not sure how better to fix or state it.

One last item, I don't hate those who are religious, I value that they have values, I am just having issues with certain aspects of the religion its self applied to my own life. I don't mean to denigrate anyone, at least, that's not my intent, so please don't take it personally.

fairyfarmgirl

The Search for Truth begins with an open HEART... If you are looking for a sort of structure in which to explore your values I like the Unitarian Universalists.

It is unlikely you will be able to buch and chuck all of the imprinting that you have encoded... the best guide is the guidance of the HEART--- Does this fill me with Joy or do I feel Dread and like I am going to vomit? Do I break out in a cold sweat and begin to hyperventilate or do I feel Empowered? Only you can answer those questions in your search for the truth.

The truth with a lowercase t is the truth until it is no longer the truth. These are little truths subject to change. The Truth with a capital T is the Truth always: Love is all there is.

Have you read the Law of One? A great read full of Empowering Ideas based in Universal Truths...

Have you read Peace Pilgrim, Peace Pilgrim (www.peacepilgrim.com)? I find this is a good place to start when you reach a place of searching for the TRUTH.

I wish you well!

Fairyfarmgirl
Hi Quade Smile

I firstly would like to welcome you to the forum, and thank you for being a participant Smile Here you will find non-judgment and the open arms of love.

I think most here have come to the point you are at. I found myself there when I was about 14 years of age. I questioned too much and found that the belief system which I was born into did not satisfy what I believed. I too had thoughts that, when I read the Law of One, I found to resonate with the Law of One, to such an extent it is like I could have been part of writing it. I sure never felt such a thing from the Bible.

I also do not weigh judgment on anyone else for their beliefs, as do religions. If a person is what I would say "a good person", then that is all that matters to me.

This mind is that of the bipedal ape, and as such comes with limits. The heart however, has no limits. Follow your heart, for your heart knows better than the mind. Only you can know what to do, and you have the choice to do so.

Love and light Smile
Welcome Quade! Our hearts and arms are open to you Smile

You have come a long way on your search for truths and seem to have reached something that in your mind seems to be a point of no return. Maybe you should not yet make it into one? Perhaps you should? Logic will probably do you no good in finding the answer to this question, you should perhaps follow your heart, your feelings. Would you like to stay "asleep" with the members of your church, following a doctrine that you already question? Some people might. But you are not some people Quade. This is your story and you get to decide where you go from here. Even if you don't physically do anything about it today, even in a month or two, know that you are always on track. Exactly where you should be.

Every time we learn something new about this world, something really exciting, there is a moment of doubt. We question ourselves, is this good? Our left brain wants us to ask ourselves if this really seems like a bright idea. That's when some of us let go of the doubt and have faith in that, in the end, everything will be just fine.

You might want to be radical about how you will proceed from here, tell everyone you know, and you might not. Every action will have a consequence, and it might not always be what you expect. My personal advice is to simply be the change you wish to see in the world. Live as an example of your beliefs instead of preaching them. Love and feel love.

Love and light! Smile
Quade,

I think we, as humans, try to force our beliefs into a box and nail the lid down. So we can say to ourselves..this is how it works. Except, none of us can really understand the system much less the reasoning behind the system. Ra says this is not the density of understanding. On earth alone, there are upwards of 10,000 recognized religions, not including fringe beliefs. Couple that with the infinite universe and an omnipotent Creator. I figure the Creator has seen it all. Every single metaphor or belief system ever devised to explain the unexplainable.

Perhap, where you are on your path is where you are supposed be. The choice of STO doesn’t have to be a gigantic fanfare and total disavowal of everything or those you love. It can be an inner decision walk that path. And maybe, the beginning acceptance of the innate innaccuracy of most human belief systems. And faith that the Creator knows the difference.

Richard
First here is a session which there is much explaining about the nature of religion and spirituality. The question they posed in this session was..

Quote:Group question: The question today has to do with the contrast between religion and spirituality, seeking from without and seeking from within. We are asking if Q’uo could give us some ideas as to the direction that is appropriate for each person, how each can be helpful, what the hindrances might be for each, and how a person can determine what is right for him or her. And is there really a precise answer or direction for each of us, or is there a certain amount of uncertainty that we need to be able to accept?

http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._0106.aspx

Religion is not all that bad if you are able to peer into it's teachings with an open mind. Many will you find the sessions explaining the hidden and mystery filled teachings and meanings of the various religions. It is only the dogma and those which seek power over others who will demand total obedience in a religious environment.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Onwards I'm glad you've mentioned the story of Adam and Eve for there is a secret if one looks hard enough. The extension of free will with the introduction of the veil is key to grasping the situation of third density.

Ra Session 77 of the Law of One February 10, 1982
Quote:Let us illustrate by observing the relative harmony and unchanging quality of existence in one of your, as you call it, primitive tribes. The entities have the concepts of lawful and taboo, but the law is inexorable and all events occur as predestined. There is no concept of right and wrong, good or bad. It is a culture in monochrome. In this context you may see the one you call Lucifer as the true light-bringer in that the knowledge of good and evil both precipitated the mind/body/spirits of this Logos from the Edenic conditions of constant contentment and also provided the impetus to move, to work and to learn.

Those Logoi whose creations have been set up without free will have not, in the feeling of those Logoi, given the Creator the quality and variety of experience of Itself as have those Logoi which have incorporated free will as paramount. Thusly you find those Logoi moving through the timeless states at what you would see as a later space/time to choose the free will character when elucidating the foundations of each Logos.

Q'uo Homecoming Meditation September 23, 2001
Quote:Those who bring light are, shall we say, a way or a symbol of the same thing as saying those who bring polarity. It is not precisely knowledge that the tree involved in the Garden of Eden story was bearing as its fruit. That is not it, precisely. It is not simply a body of knowledge that was forbidden. Rather, it is the essence of third density that is being talked about in this story. The creatures of Eden were basically second-density entities. They did not have free will. They did not have self-awareness. They were the created opportunities for spirit growth without the indwelling spirit. The story of the one known as Satan offering this fruit of good and evil to the one known as Eve is, as the one known as Eric points out, a delightful way of shifting the blame for the entire fall of human nature to women and that, shall we say, incorrect solution has entranced and delighted men in many different religious systems of those of your planet and has led many into sweeping generalizations concerning biases towards the feminine gender and their unworthiness which have been quite stubborn in balances within your peoples as a race.

As for the beliefs which are clung unto, there will be great transformations when and if it is chosen to un-limit one's self when it comes to the nature god.

Q'uo Homecoming Meditation September 23, 2001
Quote:The darkness of the spirit is like unto the darkness, the apparent darkness, of the starry heavens. As you gaze from the side of your planet out into your outer space, that thick velvet of infinite space is as are you in your spiritual aspect: an undiscovered country of hills and valleys unknown. And every place is sacred. And every place is full of information. And every place looks to be that which it is not. There is thick darkness and great depth of unknowingness to the spirit within third density. The veil of forgetting is very deep. And the life-giving light, when it falls, yet does it not always disclose truth. And so there is a great peering into what light there is to see beyond the falsity of the complex and intricate patterns of spirit.

Q'uo Homecoming Meditation September 23, 2001
Quote:We find great beauty in this pattern. We do not understand it completely. As each of you works with your own spiritual journey we ask simply that you not fear the light-bringer who brings seeming destruction. For there must be that taken down as a preparation for that which is builded anew. There needs to be the removal of false concepts before the building of a fresh and vital concept.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We come to choice which you wish to make. The student of the mysteries moves from all directions to seek that which he wishes to find, I had found that once seeking I developed a hunger which lead to many transformations throughout many days. It still is going on as we all study either by plan or unknowingly.

Ra Session 10 of the Law of One January 27, 1981
Quote:Questioner: While an entity is incarnate in this third density at this time he may either learn unconsciously without knowing what he is learning, or he may learn after he is consciously aware that he is learning in the ways of the Law of One. By the second way of learning consciously, it is possible for the entity to greatly accelerate his growth. Is this correct?

Ra: I am Ra. This is correct.

Ra Session 10 of the Law of One January 27, 1981
Quote:Questioner: Then although many entities are not consciously aware of it, what they really desire is to accelerate their growth, and it is their job to discover this while they are incarnate. Is it correct that they can accelerate their growth much more while in the third density than in between incarnations of this density?

Ra: I am Ra. This is correct. We shall attempt to speak upon this concept.

The Law of One has as one of its primal distortions the free will distortion, thus each entity is free to accept, reject, or ignore the mind/body/spirit complexes about it and ignore the creation itself. There are many among your social memory complex distortion who, at this time/space, engage daily, as you would put it, in the working upon the Law of One in one of its primal distortions; that is, the ways of love. However, if this same entity, being biased from the depths of its mind/body/spirit complex towards love/light, were then to accept the responsibility for each moment of the time/space accumulation of present moments available to it, such an entity can empower its progress in much the same way as we described the empowering of the call of your social complex distortion to the Confederation.

Everyone here is experiencing themselves, each one has the infinite one within.

Ra Session 13 of the Law of One January 29, 1981
Quote:The intelligent infinity discerned a concept. This concept was discerned to be freedom of will of awareness. This concept was finity. This was the first and primal paradox or distortion of the Law of One. Thus the one intelligent infinity invested itself in an exploration of many-ness. Due to the infinite possibilities of intelligent infinity there is no ending to many-ness. The exploration, thus, is free to continue infinitely in an eternal present.

Free will does not measure which way is greatest and all paths lead back to the one, which ever choice you make is yours truly and is sacred.

Ra Session 16 of the Law of One January 31, 1981
Quote:Questioner: It would be wholly unlike an entity fully aware of the knowledge of the Law of One to ever say “Thou shalt not.” Is this correct?

Ra: I am Ra. This is correct.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And finally a kind of treasure trove I tripped over while searching the vast library of channelings, oh how there is so much to think about. One just needs to see he is infinite and then nothing can ever stop him or the hunger for truth.

Q'uo Saturday Meditation March 22, 2008
Quote:The question this evening has to do with the proper relationship of the seeker to the various things that he might hear or read coming from all of the different sources which offer philosophical, metaphysical, spiritual or religious systems of thought and, shall we say, systems of proposed belief. You may well guess from what we have just suggested about your using discrimination that we do not feel that it is appropriate for an entity to embrace any system of thought to the extent that the process of seeking the truth stops. The reasons for this are several and we shall be going in a few different directions as we talk about this interesting subject.

Q'uo Saturday Meditation March 22, 2008
Quote:As a basic premise we would state that each of you has what you may loosely call the truth safely preserved and carefully stored within your being. You are a creature which is a part of the godhead principle and within every cell of your body lies the truth. The creation within you and without you is full of the truth. You dwell within an environment which is inherently and fundamentally instinct with the truth.

At the same time, from the very beginning of your incarnation the energies of your culture have been busy instilling within you a series of outer truths of the conventional type; that is, the truths of your culture. You have learned how to think of yourself by listening to parents and teachers who offer you a laundry list of standards to which you may aspire and because of which you may feel normal.

We do not deprecate this level of outer truth. Learning the conventions of any society is helpful for one who wishes to move through an incarnation without disturbing the sensibilities of those around him. Yet, these outer conventions of truth do not begin to address the deeper questions of identity, essence and purpose.

The seeker who wishes to move beyond conventions, then, is drawn by those same conventional assumptions to study and read those wise words which have been set down by sages of the past. Again, we do not criticize or demean the study of metaphysics or spiritual subjects—as the questioner has pointed out, there is a vast array of interesting and provocative thought to consider in attempting to move beyond the conventions of work, leisure and family in order to find a deeper purpose, a deeper essence of self, and a deeper knowledge of self-identity.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q'uo Saturday Meditation March 22, 2008
Quote:The use of the intellect is necessary in order to pursue such study and the intellect and intellectual food make a nice, tidy set for the mind. There is the horse to ride, that horse of intellectual thought, and there are places to go on that horse, visits to make at the various interesting thoughts of various entities. We have said through this instrument many times that the intellect is a useful tool given to you to use, not to be ignored or left behind. However, the general run of entities who are involved in intellectual pursuits have a tendency to allow the horse to ride them rather their being the master of that horse. Perhaps it is more helpful to think of modern-day equivalents of horses, like a car. One would not wish the car to choose the place where you wish to go in the car. One would be wise to be the master of the car and to steer that car where one wishes to go at the speed which is most appropriate to the journey.

Therefore, we suggest strongly that the process of intellectual ratiocination be one of which the seeker is quite conscious so that the seeker does not get swept up in the play of words and ideas to the point that the truth is no longer the focus of the seeking.

The seeker has tools of which it may not be aware and we would look at those tools for a bit now. We often suggest that entities follow the path of resonance as they seek. Whether it is our words of any other writer or speaker to which the seeker is listening or from which the seeker is reading, we encourage seekers to follow that path of resonance.

Your path of resonance is unique. No matter how wise your teacher or how inspired the writing, there is almost no chance that everything a given teacher or writer offers to you as food for thought will resonate to you. Ideally, those concepts which you follow will be those concepts which, when first read or heard, awaken within a seeker a kind of recollection as though he already knew that but was happy to be reminded of it once again.

There are so much more concepts which I had seen which I am not even going to post here to expand on the nature of your questions because it would take up so much space. What I don't understand sometimes is why remain in a fixed and small view when it is infinity one is trying to grasp? only you will be able to take that which you find acceptable and use it. The open mind is key when looking for answers and as you continue seeking if chosen so then you will begin to learn and un-distort through time various ideas/meanings/concepts.

Q'uo Saturday Meditation March 22, 2008
Quote:The seeker’s journey is a sacred one, a beautiful one, and often a difficult one. There are many seasons of light and shadow, growth and awaiting, and all are equally profitable. Trust yourself, trust your sense of resonance and then enjoy your seeking, your questions, your answers, and all that goes into a life lived by spiritual means and interests.

Brittany

My dearest brother, I know exactly how you feel on this. I was a devout member of a strict sect of Christianity for 21 years. Not only did I go to church, but I was willing to fight and die for what I believed in. It crushed me so completely when my beliefs began falling apart and I was faced with the fact that everything I had known up until then had been, at least in my eyes, wrong.

Perhaps telling you a bit of my story will offer you some comfort or insight.

I was always a spiritual person, and since I was raised a Christian, I thought Christianity was the only spiritual outlet available to me. I was taught not to question the scriptures by my parents and many other adults that I looked up to, so naturally I listened to them and simply accepted everything that I was fed. When the inevitable questions about inconsistencies did occasionally pop up, I was told I just wasn’t supposed to think about it. I needed to have faith.

I lived in this sheltered little bubble all the way until college, where it suddenly popped with a terrible force. My world suddenly expanded, and I was presented with a whole host of new viewpoints. A torrent of new information was suddenly available, and I didn’t know what to do with it. All I knew was that, in light of this information, the faith I had held so dear suddenly seemed very flawed. All the “evidence” I had been presented with over the years suddenly seemed silly and nonsensical. And the deeper I dug into why I believed what I believed, the more I realized that I didn’t know.

I began to learn what really went into the making of the Bible, and I was flabbergasted that people could call this the word of God. Sure, some of it was likely inspired, but the level of corruption that men had worked into its pages was astounding. WHY did I believe in this? The holes in those sacred pages were enormous. My heart was starting to tell me that there was definitely something MORE out there. It was that little nudge we all end up getting…that little voice telling me it was time.

Bit by bit my faith in the doctrine I had been raised with was crumbling away. Peg after peg was knocked over as I began to trust my own reasoning over blind faith. Now I realize why that church was so swift to squash out questioning and using the intellect to verify what was presented. As soon as you realized you weren’t going to burn in hell for thinking for yourself, the entire system burned up instead.

But then there was fear. The people in that church were the best friends I had, and if I left I would literally be excommunicated. None of them would come to my wedding. They wouldn’t even be allowed to eat with me. And at the time I had no idea what I DID want to believe in. I’d experimented with Wicca and some Eastern religions, but nothing seemed entirely right and I was afraid that I’d end up some sort of atheist…that my connection with God was going to be cut.

Now we get down to that point that you’re at. That moment of decision. I will tell you, my brother, that it isn’t my place to advice you on one path or the other, because if you don’t listen to your own heart you’re going to be absolutely miserable. I would tell you to look deep within and listen for that still, small voice, and see what it says to you. Because, believe it or not, either choice is valid as long as you know why you believe in it and you choose to actively pursue it. The worst thing you can do is linger in indecision. I’ve been there, and it was one of the worst feelings ever.

Some people even manage to balance Christian and new age beliefs. I, personally, could not. There was a lot of pain when I let go of organized religion, but in the end it has been worth it for me. I am much happier now. Eventually the letters from concerned church members telling me I needed to repent or I was going to burn in hell stopped coming. My parents didn’t disown me, though there were some “tense” discussions. And once I simply opened myself up and asked to know the truth, I have entered into a world that I never imagined existed…a world so much more blissful and, well, sane.

That would be my one small piece of advice. Ask your higher self to know the truth as it applies to you on your journey. Ask your soul to reveal its true nature to you. As the Bible says, “Ask, and it shall be given unto you. Seek and ye shall find. Knock, and the door shall be opened.” The answers will come quicker than you imagine. You just have to start asking.

I hope this helps in some small way. I was nearly moved to tears reading your post because it was like reading a chapter from my own life. I know this is a difficult time for anyone experiencing this type of conflict, and if I can be of any further service, please, let me know.

Love and Light,
Lynn
I would like to thank everyone for their kind words, I really do appreciate it, and in some cases, even moved to tears. It is late, but I did want to say that something struck out at me really loud, and I really felt I needed to hear this:

from the following link:
http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._0106.aspx

"This instrument said earlier that faith is not faith in anything. Faith is the trust, without any proof or supporting evidence, that all is well and that all will be well. And this is the surrender that is demanded on the inner path. It is faith stripped of dogma. It is faith not in, but simple faith. It is that faith that leads one to leap into mid-air as the Fool, not seeing the safety net, not seeing the next step, not knowing the answers, and yet being willing to act as if all were well by faith. It is a frightening concept when thought about without the activity of the self as a living being. And if thought about it will often bring that living self to a state of paralysis."

The above highlighted portion just reached out and grabbed me, and I knew this is what I needed, just one of those things one knows one needs. I just feel this sits as the arbiter between me and my self, as Q'uo put it, the inner and outer paths.

I don't expect any magic bullets, but this gives me an arrow, a direction, a starting point. I would also like to say thank you for pointing out the Unitarian Universalists. There is a congregation not far from where I live. I would like to continue exploring spiritual values with out the need of the outer path necessities, and from what I have read, they appear to provide the environment in which to do so. The interesting thing they have listed for this Sunday's service is their intent to state their purpose and mission, so a wonderful time to try something new there.

Thank you from my heart.
A bit of an update.

I tried out the Unitarian Universities church we have near here. I intend to go back. It did feel a little awkward, some of the terminology was unusual coming from a pentecostal background and going to a new type of church. I will get used to it over time, but it is good to know there is a way to explore my spirituality freely without need to contend with a religious system is what I was looking for, and this will provide that means.

I have also decided to put aside my religious upbringing. This decision didn't come about lightly. I did pray and ask for guidance, I reminded God, it says "seek, and you shall find, ask, and you shall receive." And I asked for the truth. As of late, I have been studying how the Bible was assembled, and noticed the order in which the books were written, (as much as can be known) I had noticed a certain trend in the development of the order. After the prayer, I discovered an article that summarized well what it was I was seeing.

What I found provided the final notch that I needed to let go. Ironically, this morning, when my friend was dropping me off at the shopping center to get a haircut, the Christian radio station he listens to was playing a song that had the lines "This is the beginning of the rest of your life". After the haircut, I decided to go down to the Wendy's to get a bite to eat. I did something unexpected at this point, I decided to stop in at the book store.

Not sure what I wanted, I started browsing around. I found the "New Age" section, but it had mostly occult stuff in it. I am not really interested in that. (sounds ironic, doesn't it?) On the back side of that shelf was the "Self Help" section. I saw a number of titles like "How to be happy" and the like. Then I did something else unexpected. I just reached up and grabbed a book.

"The Power of Intention" by Dr. Wayne Dyer. So far, from what I have read, it has the Law of One written all over it, even though it does not state that, and how to deal with Ego, and how to manage and use your intention, Stuff that's all in the Law of One, Q'uo's words, and Bashar's messages. All from someone who doesn't write as if he in into these types of works, but understands the message none the less.

So, I have multiple works that describe Love, Life, Intention, Peace, and the Law of One, Some in the bible, Ra/Q'uo/Bashar, independent writers, even star trek has a snippet of it, (see ep: TNG:Haven), and yet, only once real source for Jesus the Divine. (as opposed to Jesus the man)

I don't mean to step on anyone's toes, and I'd like to think anyone reading this post is more open minded then is typical. but I can no longer give my life to any religion. Hindu, Islam, Budda, or even Christianity. They are not for me any longer. I am still guided and guarded by my guardian angels, God, or as some call him the Creator still loves me, and I can still have Faith, and not be part of an organized religion.

I think I understand why these religions warn you not to look out side of them, because if you did, you'd realized you didn't need them to be Spiritual, and they'd loose control over you. They have their purpose, as a means to the inner path, but many times they have a "Do Not Enter" sign to the inner path. And that's the unfortunate part. I am thankful I decided to cross the line, Do the unthinkable, take the Red Pill, and wake up.

I was telling my friend, I do feel like Neo in a way, waking up and realizing the world is entirely different then you had once thought, and just like him, the idea does make you a little sick to your tummy initially, and for some, it would be impossible. I am thankful I can make this journey.

So, yes, today is the first day of the rest of my life. BigSmile
I couldn't figure out how to add it to my above post, So I will add it here.

I would like to say a very big "Thank You" to the people here. I would not have gotten past this road block had it not been for the very kind and loving words I found here. And if anyone from LL reads this, Give Q'uo a big Thank You from me as well.

Heart
I am happy for you, brother, that you have found a path that is right for you.

"The Power of Intention"; a very good book. He has so many good works. I do believe that Wayne Dyer is a man who holds onto two faiths, Christian and Buddhist? You may also find Deepak Chopra to be worthwhile, as well as the Dalai Lama. Whatever your choices are, they are right for you, and that is what matters. I find wisdom in Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, and Muslim faiths, picking and choosing what resonates with me. If it is good and resonates with love and light, then it resonates with me. If it is dark and reeks of fear and control, I let it fall away like water off a ducks back.

One thing you might wish to consider at this point, now you are awake, is meditation. It need not be very long each day to begin. Five minutes is sufficient. The value in it is much greater than one could imagine, and will lead to further development. You might also begin with, any place you are at, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, imagining beautiful white light entering you body in that breath, and then exhaling darkness out. When you open your eyes, you will be living in the moment and notice things that you might normally not see. That is a beginning to living in the moment.

To add to a previous post, there is a button underneath it that says "Edit". When you press that button, you have two options; quick or full. Quick is like the Quick Reply Box" at the bottom of a post page, whereas full is like when you press the "New Reply" button and have the complete editor.

You may give Q'uo a big mental hug yourself. Mentally talk to them by name and they will hear you. I do each day in morning prayers as part of the large of those I give thanks to, and usually each time prior to meditating, asking them to deepen my consciousness.

Enjoy each first day brother, they are each a gift from the Creator Smile

Love and Light

fairyfarmgirl

I wish you well as you journey forth back to yourSelf ever spiraling and expanding inward and outward reaching higher and higher...

As you embark on this journey and it takes root... you will let go of that which no longer serves you discarding the little truths that are no longer true for you as you coalesce into the Big Truth: Love is All there IS.

fairyfarmgirl