Bring4th

Hi Everyone,

I have just newly registered but feel compelled to tell you my story as to how i have got here, however, the answer as to why i have got here alludes me.

I think it would be best if i could descride to you a brief description of my life, which hopefully will be able to shed some light on how i have reached the stage i am at in my spirituality. Am i a wanderer??? I have no idea, one thing i can honestly say though is that i do not feel at home here, i have always questioned everything about why people do the things they do and why everything here is so different to how i expect them to be.

I'm a 26 yr old father of 1. I grew up in a small fishing port in Scotland with a mother, father and 3 siblings. My parents seperated when i was 4, my father worked offshore and was a heavy drinker and abusive father when he returned home, my mother was becoming an alcoholic/drug addicter. At 4 years old i was run over by a drink driver and was left pretty hurt and unconcious for a while. i finally recovered to find i was now living with my alcoholic grandmother. My siblings were also living with us. My mother then took us away to a city quite far from our home town to live with a stranger that we had never met. This stranger would turn out to be my abuser of 2 years between the ages of 7-9. He was a drug addict. We eventually moved back up to our own home town after the social services became involved. My siblings and i were eventually moved in foster care where i have been since the age of 9. I have lived with 4 different families, have not been in contact with my mother and father except for very rarely. I was advertised in a newspaper until the family i now call my real family fostered my in 1995. I now regard my foster parents as my real mother and father. I then settled down and have lived a pretty stable life since then.

I believe that these events have happened for a reason and that i had to live through those events to have the personality that i have today and have the ability to question my existance and the purpose of existence alltogether.

Since i can remember i have always looked at the stars and begged to be amongst them, why i have done this i dont know and i have never really questioned why i have done this until about 1 year ago. I feel like i can connect with the stars to a certain degree, almost like i already know what is there but cant really remember what it is but there is also a greaer part of me that is telling me to stay here and help people. i have been a support worker since i was 17, i gave up the opportunity of university, then later a £30,000 per year job, still to e a support worker. I get a sense of belonging from making people less fortunate than myself feel better, no matter how difficult their situation. I get a sense of completeness from making people smile.

Until about 2 years ago i was quite a settled person but almost over night i awoke to being a very anxious person, always on edge about something that is impending, its not something i can tell what it is. Until i found the LOO material, i still felt uneasy about everything. Now though i feel so much more content, almost like it is comforting me in ways i dont know of.

The LOO and its writing make 100% sense to me and such are my beliefs that i feel i have no choice but to meditate on it as much as possible, and i have developed and addiction to it that i cannot shake, i feel uneasy at shaking it, almost like i have to know it all.

Whether i am a wanderer or not i have no idea but one thing is for sure, the more people that believe in the LOO the better and the more people who are beginning to awake or are awaiting to be awakened should read it. I hope i am on the way to complete awkening, if there is such a thing as completely awake.

Many Thanks,

Jamie

Welcome to this home away from home Jamie. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I look forward to your further participation in the forum.

Your story of abuse is one many here have had. My parents too were alcoholics and abusive, and it is in this that there were lessons for me, as there were for you. The hardest road travelled sometimes reaps the most beautiful view.

Again, welcome

Oh, here is something to look at to help you determine if you are a wanderer. I would think you are, being here, but that is for you to determine

Link ---> Wanderer Awakening

welcome to bring 4th jamie and thanks for sharing your story
you have indeed been through much, and you sound as though you are using those experiences in a positive way to aid other people. what a wonderful thing it is to help people smile
i live in scotland too btw

James--

I suspect that, like many here, before your current incarnation, you arranged for an extra dose of catalyst, so that you could work on Forgiveness. Forgiveness is the hardest hurdle to jump.

Keep working at it. You have arrived at the best support group in the world We're all striving for the same goals.

Remember that you are perfect and whole, and having a learning experience (however wild it may be). You are where you are supposed to be, learning the lesson you most need to learn.

For extra support and inspiration, check out the podcasts at the Sons of the Law of One podcast page. Just left-click once on the one you want to hear.

Sons of LOO Podcast Page

Alternatively, you can go to the archive page, and download the podcasts as .mp3 files, to save and listen to at your convenience....

Sons of LOO Podcast Archive Page

Podcasts #40 and #41 are, in my estimation, rather weak, but most of the remainder are great. I listen to them over and over, and they are very inspiring to me. They give me strength and energy when I am weak.

Welcome, Jamie. Your story brings tears to my eyes. I think it's great that you learned to bring beauty into the chaos of your life in choosing to serve others. I feel your awakening is well under way.

Hi Jamie. Thanks for sharing. Although we all have to travel our own paths and make our own choices we are most certainly not alone in the quest.
Your story is a beautiful one, how you managed to deal with adversity and become STO. Very heartwarming.
You'll find good advice and much love on this forum.
I'm also a scot by the way.

Love & Light

Hey Jamie, welcome here. You've had a rough path. I hope you can leave some of the roughness behind and find a little peace.

Namaste

It seems Dear One, you have [b]landed[b] in the right place at the right time with all these Scots here--as well as all of the rest of us... LOL

Your story although painful has similar tendrils to my own...

Connecting with Nature and likeminded individuals that provide ground support ( people who have expanded in their awareness and are currently embodied, I consider to be the ground crew, you are the pilot and the sky is Ascension in this analogy). Since you are a Scot perhaps you could visit this place and share with us the beauty found there... (on another thread) http://www.findhorn.org/index.php?tz=240

For I am across the big salt pond and have just not quite mastered walking on water, yet... LOL Although the Guides tell me it is simply Heart and mind over matter.:-/

Thank you for being here now. Bless Your HEART.

Love--

fairyfarmgirl

Welcome Jamie! Your story was interesting, and the way you dealt with it pretty amazing. To be able to focus on helping others despite ones personal "dark" story of growing up is a sign of someone very STO. I have no doubt that you are a wanderer, or at least you seem very polarized towards the light.

In any case, i welcome you and thank you for being here!

Love & Light!

Thank you all so much for your wonderful comments. It truelu is amazing how much positivity i have recieved.

There is so much things that we have all gone through or will go through to help us ascend and find the light, its the reaction to those actions that are important.

One question i have though is, what does 'STO' mean as i've read it a few times now?

Jamie

STO = Service to other-self
This is thoughts or actions to better the "other", helping other people.

STS = service to self
When one has thoughts and actions for the self, with almost total exclusion of thoughts or action in service to other selves, then this is called STS.

Note on the illusion:
Being that all of creation is one thing, The One Infinite Creator, there really is no "other", and as thus when one helps an "other" self, they are truly helping the self. The same goes for service to self. When the self hurts the other self, it hurts the self. If this seems complex for you, do not worry about it. In time it will make sense.

Harvestibility
In order to become harvestable (to ascend to 4D), the choice must be made and polarity gained to either:
49% Service to self, 51% service to other-selves
95% service to self, 5% service to other-selves.
Those that have not attained either underlined required polarity percentage will not be harvestable and will begin another 75,000 year cycle, where they will have another try at becoming harvestable. Ra called those entities that are unharvestable "in the sinkhole of indifference".

These numbers also apply to wanderers desiring to go back to their "home" density, though conditions depend on the pre-incarnate contract.

Welcome to the forum. Your life story is inspiring

Service to Others and Service to Self are the two options that 3d incarnates have to polarize to in order to graduate in the impending harvest (one or the other, that is). All (I think?) of us on the forum are polarizing to STO, which is based in love and acceptance of all. STS is based in fear, desire to control/manipulate people, and love of only the self.

Edit: Looks like Peregrinus beat me to it!

Ah i see, thank you both for clearing that up for me. This has led me onto a further 2 questions, well one is really a statement than a question.

Statement: I cannot for any part of me understand why people would do service to self and not think about someone else first, i actually cant comprehend that action. Dint get me wrong there are times when people try my patients etc but i would rather not eat if it meant someone else could, i'd rather have no money if someone else needed it and i'd rather die for someone else who deserved to live or the choice had to be made (anyways rant over).

Question: When it comes to polarity (percentages), i am assuming that knowing where you are respectively in those percentages is an unknown factor? Also, do you mean i need to have both 49% STS and 51% STO to progress posively as a minimum? And 95% STS and 5% STO to progress negatively or am i picking it up wrong?

Minimum is 51% STO or 95% STS. The other numbers are just the result of being at least that high.

STO will not understand why STS make that choice, but STS don't understand the STO choice either. Both choices end up to be STO in the sixth, for the path of STS cannot go any further than that.

You are correct in that at no time is one of the knowing what their polarity is, though it is not something to worry about. 75,000 years is a very short period of time in terms of creation, and repeating it is not something which should be looked at in disdain. Choices are all made at the spirit level anyway, and one always chooses what is correct.

The wanderer, however, upon understanding this, can choose and then polarize very quickly because of this understanding. For most of the population, this information does not resonate, and as such they will not understand or put this information to use.

For a time, I felt the draw of STS myself. It kinda reminds me of how those two wanderers on Ra's 3d planet polarized to negative accidentally and had to evolve through the negative densities. I'm a wanderer myself, and the draw of exploiting others was, for a time, incredibly powerful and mouth-watering. I had quite the amount of negative material to learn off of considering I was "asleep". Now, however, I know myself to be fairly STO. Not to disagree too much, Peregrinus, but I feel I've met the minimum for graduating already :p

For clarification's sake, yes the minimums are 51% and 95%. People who are trying to make it to 4d positive/negative (or higher for wanderers) in 3d would focus on their respective numbers if they were to know about them. Most of us here are choosing to try to attain a minimum of 51% STO, though the numbers aren't kept in the forefront of our minds because one can't expect to know where one is number-wise (lol... "Omg I'm at 49.35%! Just a bit more...). In order to graduate into 4d negative, one has to be amazingly well disciplined and goal oriented.

Hello Everyone,

I found this post interesting and thought I would share a viewpoint on the subject of the percentiles of service necessary for harvest. Please disregard if it does not ring true to your ears

It seemed to me, while reading session 17 that Ra may have been trying to illustrate a principle, but had to respond specifically with percentages since they were questioned in that way. We have a way of over-complicating things with numbers.

Peregrinus is quite correct in stating that both types of service are ultimately serving the One Infinite Creator. Both serve the Creator, and the polarization increases as the amount of service provided increases. To simplify the idea as it pertains to harvestability, lets say an STO individual does a deed which helps 10 other-selves. A STS individual must perform service to help his/her self, but must put 10x the effort into it to equal the polarization that the STO individual gained. That may be the reason why the percentages given seem to be more difficult in the so-called negative path.

Maybe the point is that simply the majority of service has to be towards your choice of polarization, but a certain level of polarization must be met before harvest. STS just has to be more deliberate in serving the self as it is less efficient (just an observation, not saying that it is right or wrong in the scheme of things)

If being good with numbers is something that you are gifted with, by all means use it and have fun! But if you find the percentages hard to deal with, or feel stressed that you may be one percentage point off from your goal, perhaps it would be more suitable to just concentrate on your area of service and enjoy it

(04-09-2010, 08:28 PM)JoshC Wrote: [ -> ]For a time, I felt the draw of STS myself. It kinda reminds me of how those two wanderers on Ra's 3d planet polarized to negative accidentally and had to evolve through the negative densities. I'm a wanderer myself, and the draw of exploiting others was, for a time, incredibly powerful and mouth-watering. I had quite the amount of negative material to learn off of considering I was "asleep". Now, however, I know myself to be fairly STO. Not to disagree too much, Peregrinus, but I feel I've met the minimum for graduating already :p

For clarification's sake, yes the minimums are 51% and 95%. People who are trying to make it to 4d positive/negative (or higher for wanderers) in 3d would focus on their respective numbers if they were to know about them. Most of us here are choosing to try to attain a minimum of 51% STO, though the numbers aren't kept in the forefront of our minds because one can't expect to know where one is number-wise (lol... "Omg I'm at 49.35%! Just a bit more...). In order to graduate into 4d negative, one has to be amazingly well disciplined and goal oriented.

Being-ness can be just as powerful as actually doing. If your being-ness is 51% service to others than you may be STO.

dear Jamie
welcome to the board . thanks for sharing your inspiring story.
you are loved and welcomed here brother. your story inspires me
to be more loving and kinder in my relations with my fellow man.

norral