Bring4th

My meditations help out.  Excuse me if I'm a bit disgruntled, very upset at the moment.

I have realized I can feel people around me, I realized I pick up on them and that's all I've noticed today but Its starting to. Or has BEEN driving me maaad.

Perhaps its intolerance on my part, maybe I can't handle everyone's emotions, I personally have begunto think I'm weak.  Just weak.  I've done what I can, I have a job where I see less than 50 people a day sometimes...  I'm still losing my mind some days from how people feel.  Its like I can hear their mood in my body and not through my ears...  And so many people are so cruelly apathetic.  Its like a digging black light of 'THIS IS THE DARKEST PART OF ME' specially cultivated socially.

I find indifference hard to stomach in large amounts...

How do I stop this??  How do I tone it down?  How do I not lose my mind from all of this?

I mean I knew I was an introvert butnever knew why until recently.  But...  so few people still screw me up emotionally, like throwing me RIGHT INTO a stormy mind of messed up emotions, then my own anger flies into the mix because I can't figure out what to do...  I can't find a more secluded job...  I can't even socialize or go out into public for more than a few hours.  How do I deal with this?  Should I just lose my mind and ride the chaos down the rabbit hole orrr???!!!

I have no idea and I can barely stand it anymore.  I don't even know for certain if its Empathy or JUST ME.

And I'm starting to blur into desperate, I literally can't live this way, I haven't gone shopping, I haven't figured out my thyroid meds or whatever the doctors and pharmacy can't communicate, I haven't showered in 4 days or brushed my teeth because I'm so uncalm usually.  Been going to sleep either furious or depressed And just been going mad at home alone failing at calming myself down.I'm so frustrated with myself and how everything feels painful.

Can anyone please explain if there's some kind of way for an Empath to stop taking in other's...energy?

I need to mediate with ear phones, its never quiet around me.  I'm going crazy here...  Can anyone help make it calm down or even stop but temporarily?  Or coping mechanisms or anything???

it sounds like you really need a long break from nights.  But not sure your work arrangements can accomodate that.

There is a role for rest and recuperation.  Especially when 3d physical reality has overloaded us beyond the ability to continue integrating it.

How have your dreams been?  Without that kind of 'reset and escape', life takes on a repetitive, unchanging pattern that becomes quite unbearable.  One loses the ability to bring 'magic' to it anymore; and it becomes (to the person) uninfluencible and non-responsive.

-----

TTP, sounds like it's time you learned some shielding techniques. You can google and read endlessly to find out what does you best.

What I usually do for maintenance:
-Surround myself with white light
-Check for and remove any cords
-Acknowledge that I feel/recognize others' emotions and feel no need to take them on

These are things you'll want to do many times a day (the white light shield is pretty effective, it just needs to be rebuffed )

As our veils thin, our telepathy and empathy increase. Most people get bogged down by the emotions of others and don't realize it. Now that you realize it, you can protect yourself. Tuning into the emotions of others is a normal function. Taking them on and letting them mess you up energetically is not the best service.

Here's something I told a friend at work that helped him a lot (whoa, as soon as I mention him I got a flashback of him being in my dream last night) - You can empathize with people, but you don't have to sympathize. The way I mean that is, you can recognize that others feel sad, and even offer them assistance, but you don't have to take on their sadness and feel it with them. It's your choice, now that you are aware there is one.

My dreams have been pretty serene, sleep has been very, very, very, very needed -_-
I can barely handle 40 hour work weeks, I just worked 16 days straight minus halloween night when I got drunk in front of a fire and slept my entire day away like that.  However, recuperation, I have not gotten at all.

But it's like today, I'd say it's more like I literally get hurt by being around people because I feel and see their character's without having any control over it.  And most people in my area aren't the brightest, kindest, or most spiritually aware types.  Life is still magical, it's just that it also feels intensely like a dream just before a nightmare starts.  I feel a kind of fear for the future that is based on actual worries I have...  Such as being homeless, having to live in a very crappy place, and such realities that always feel a few bad days between me and my mom away from becoming true.

I love nights!  I actually enjoy most of my customers, it's just I can't control when a bad person's feelings get stuck on me, and I start unconsciously screwing things up in my job towards customers because I'm hearing judgments that I normally wouldn't have skewing my feelings towards the person.  It's all still me failing to control myself, but I, I mean I.  Ugh.  This might make more sense if I explain what happened today at work that caused me to make this thread.

I work overnights at a gas station, my work also sells donuts, so every night, usually before 1am a Donut Guy comes in and replaces our donuts in the donut case.  Well one of those vendors is a major jerk-off in terms of attitude, he's mean and cruel and finds humor in it, and he likes me cause I just treat him professionally with kindness.  His personality usually gets stuck on me, and usually it's tame but sometimes he's a real ass towards me in his mind, and it just latches his thoughts and criticism into me and suddenly I'm feeling it coming through and out of me.  So he shows up at 3am today, cause he doesn't really care about doing his job in a timely manner because he's salaried, no big deal to me, until he was there in front of me talking to me replacing donuts, then I was suddenly extremely annoyed.  After he left, as a rule of thumb for the sake of not needing to be redundant, I never mop before the donut guy comes, cause their carts will undo the entire mop job with black streaking wheel lines.
Well I'm mopping at 3am and these two guys come in, who look a bit more punkish style, but also act somewhat punkish and a bit arrogant, one of them walks onto the mopped floor and pretends to slip.  Normally it's funny, no big deal, but this time it was like I took it completely personally and it really angered me.  Yet I like my job, so I maintain professionalism.  So the guy walks up to me with a 20 in his hand and begins with, "oh, uhhhhhh.  mmmm..  hmmmaybe split the difference of...uhhherr, well...urhmmuh, maybe uhhhhh." and it was driving me mad!  Like I was growing infuriated with the guy so much so I even had a bit of a tone just like, "Dude, how much on (pump) 1?" and he continues his erms and uhms then finally goes, "uhh, 9.  Wait. yeah 9." and hands me the 20, so I punch in 9 dollars on pump 1 and begins tendering his change when he mumbles up, "Wait, I mean 5."  Normally, okay whatev, a bit non-present, whatev, not the first time.  I concur and say I'll refund the pump.

I don't know how to refund the money on the pump though (still learning all the kinks of the register being the very inactive night shift guy) and along my exploration of refunding the pump I wanted to make sure the guy who was outside (unaware that he shouldn't begin pumping as far as I knew) didn't start pumping the gas, so there's a big red STOP button on the register, so I went and hit it.

Then all the pumps 1 - 12 went down, and my night got bad right there
Then along the way in my terrified fury because I had no idea how to get the pumps back online and had these two guys now in front of me wondering why they can't pump the 9 dollars or put 5 on the pump, and suddenly it's like I'm in a fire in my mind, and all I can do is be like that one comic strip with the dog in the burning home, who's holding his cup of coffee sitting on a chair at his table like, "this is fine."

Except it wasn't fine, I was seriously freaking out, and all because in my annoyance I wasn't thinking straight (I knew how to properly stop a pump but was blanking on the process, hint: Enter the pump number first, then hit STOP) because I was being annoyed and in a jerky bad mood because I let it rub off on me, or maybe it was just my portion of myself manifesting in response to that guy.  I don't want to feign responsibility, it was clearly me, but I was getting annoyed at things I normally never would have.  In my looking back at the memories, it was like the guy's attitude shed upon me and I began enacting it through myself.

I don't want that, Plenum.  I had to send those guys to Circle k across the street, and they had literally no gas, had to push their car across the street.  I really screwed them over.

I really don't want that.  It's why I say, I think I am an Empath, and I have no control over it.  It's like I peer into people, and sometimes I accidentally let them peer into me, and sometimes I absorb parts of them, and I think maybe sometimes they experience what I feel when they're interacting with me, but I don't think they usually know what's going on.  I usually see it because if they're physically low on energy, or I am, if I'm peering, I'll get sweaty and hot and a bit flushed, and I notice it happens to my customers exactly the same way, just out of nowhere they'll start sweating within 10-20 seconds, their face will get a bit flushed and they'll seem more calm or docile (sort of like me when I'm around people I don't know) or if I get it sometimes I'll feel different, like my mood shifts slightly more to theirs, which usually is a bit more casual or businesslike (usually ride the businesslike moods for professionalism   ) but some people you can feel anger or anxiety or irrational feelings or some manner of something that pulls and churns me on the inside in some way as to produce pain.  Like an unconscious pain just in the background, maybe because the empathic ability is passively done in the background???

I don't know anything that I can actually believe is factual about empaths, just theories and beliefs, but nothing for certain, I've never seen someone explain it in a way that makes sense to me, so I wonder if I have a certain type of sensitivity or.  I don't know! I just don't know but if it's going to drive my mind insane, hurt me, and cause me to be bad at my job so catastrophically that I take down my entire gas lot's gas pumps then I need to make sense of this and get a handle on it.

So.  I really do attribute meditation to becoming aware and conscious of these things happening.  I just, wasn't expecting it all to be put into such sheer focus though.  But I do feel somewhat energized enough to handle it all, which is good, even if my physical body is...Hurting and sore but hearty and willing (lol...)

I thought Hands of Light explained something but I haven't felt calm enough to look at it with a clear mind yet, I was thinking of doing it tomorrow in front of a fire with a glass of wine.

But I really do need some advice on how to handle emotions that boot you out of a self-aware or mindful perspective.  I had no realization of how out of character I was being until I had long made all the mistakes and corrected them in sheer terror of my boss's boss calling the store like, "y da gas no wrk JOe?!" (not literally, but a terrified thought indeed).

E_S, I mean, I have a pretty...Addicted gaming personality, I could play an online game with friends for...ever.  It's why I stay away from them, I mean, I might gift myself a Ps4 and Fallout 4 to basically shut myself away and uber-recharge on my Me-Time (have I mentioned I have over 200+ hours on Skyrim on just one save profile?) And Battlefield 4 already have 200 hours logged on it too just on online play (where you run around killing each other, yaaay)

I'd say I already unconsciously did all of that, I guess now I know that who I was as a teenager, was basically how I should be to be happy, much me time, much much alone time.

It's interesting it mentions low energy.  I imagine if I relocated up to Sedona or Flagstaff I'd have a much better time with the people probably, maybe.

Miss Jade, I honestly don't want to stop others from it happening.  I mean to say, even though the link or whatever it is causes me pain, it also connects me to people in ways that make me understand them.  I don't want to stop that, I just want to learn how to be more...Mindful or Conscientious of the negative emotions that might boot us out of a proper self-aware mentality.

Is there anyway to shield from only certain types of links?

What exactly is a cord, and what does it do and such?

thank you everyone O:

Ugh what a terrible no good day... I think it's totally possible a bit of your friend the donut man's neg energy rubbed off on you. You say usually he likes you because you deal with him professionally - my best advice is to just keep that up. I've learned over the years that my biggest "fans" at work are usually the people I like the least - the ones who snap at me and others and have little patience. But, for whatever reason, over time they soften towards me and I think that helps them in turn, soften towards others. The great work!

Quote:But I really do need some advice on how to handle emotions that boot you out of a self-aware or mindful perspective.

This is the other great work. The best advice I have for this is, to try to welcome catalyst as joyfully as possible, and to use each experience as a learning experience. This helps distill all the catalyst in a more regular manner so that one doesn't become too energetically messed up at any given time, and that each little "jolt" is more manageable to deal with.

Also, being extremely regular with meditation is probably the best thing you can do for mood stabilization.

Quote:What exactly is a cord, and what does it do and such?

Etheric cords are attachments that two entities make that are energetic in nature, but on a somewhat constant basis. It's usual for say, a parent to have a cord attached to their younger children, or a caregiver having a cord attached to a sick loved one. It allows a give/take exchange between two entities of energy. What happens is sometimes we get negative cords attached from people we don't want - energy vampires, typically - negative bosses or coworkers or family members, where one person is draining the other person of energy (seemingly) without their permission. If one leaves themselves open energetically for all to use, anyone can attach a negative cord and siphon.

I'm pretty sure Tanner is adept at seeing and removing these if you feel like this might be something that is happening/has happened to you. I think I mentioned the possibility of a cord between you and your mother - likely since you live together, utilize each other's resources, yet don't get along often. You are entirely capable of removing them yourself, too - but sometimes with long-term cords, it takes multiple removals because they just come back.

-----

Picture that others energy rubbing off on you as an energy transfer, and as such you need to either work with the energy or release it. You can create yourself your own rituals for releasing the energy back to the earth for it to be distilled.

You can focus on a state you wish to channel within yourself too.

I had found these a while back and thought they were well made.

http://thespiritscience.net/2014/11/25/a...path-pt-1/
http://thespiritscience.net/2014/12/28/a...path-pt-2/
http://thespiritscience.net/2015/02/22/a...t-3-reiki/

(11-10-2015, 04:06 PM)earth_spirit Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-10-2015, 11:04 AM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote: [ -> ]E_S, I mean, I have a pretty...Addicted gaming personality, I could play an online game with friends for...ever.  It's why I stay away from them, I mean, I might gift myself a Ps4 and Fallout 4 to basically shut myself away and uber-recharge on my Me-Time (have I mentioned I have over 200+ hours on Skyrim on just one save profile?) And Battlefield 4 already have 200 hours logged on it too just on online play (where you run around killing each other, yaaay)

I'd say I already unconsciously did all of that, I guess now I know that who I was as a teenager, was basically how I should be to be happy, much me time, much much alone time.

I am also addicted to gaming. Especially Team Fortress 2, even though my 32 MB video ram can barely run it. I am too poor to upgrade, but thankfully most of my favourite games are old ones.. such as Civilization II and Alpha Centauri.

Your 200 hours Skyrim save reminds me of this guy:

https://www.reddit.com/comments/uxpil/iv...zation_ii/

I used to play Battlefield Bad Company 2 on my old computer. Maybe one day I can slaughter you in B4, but you'll have to wait until I get a new gaming rig.


About "alone time".. that is basically the same as my life. I don't seem to miss company, but it is nice when I can actually relate to someone.

Sigh.  Why must everyone slaughter me?  I'm perfectly capable, if not more so as a wing man.  Why can't we work together, and slaughter ery'one else??

I miss TF2, I only played its cut down console version on The Orange Box.
Was fun enough, I had so many offshoot variants of game ideas like it though.

I'm not particularly fond of spirit science as they are often not correct in my personal experience but I'll still give those a look at, Min.

(11-11-2015, 12:06 AM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote: [ -> ]I'm not particularly fond of spirit science as they are often not correct in my personal experience but I'll still give those a look at, Min.

I do fully get what you mean.

Actually after reading a bit more the parts I really wanted to share were in that one : http://thespiritscience.net/2014/09/16/a...inel-pt-1/

Speaks of grounding, shielding and clearing your field. Part 2 speaks mainly of using crystals and part 3 speaks mainly of astral war if you are interested.

Astral war.

Oh yes, just my cup of t-- oh, REAL astral war? -drops tea cup shattering it-

I thought you meant virtual.  Gonna have to PAHAHAHAAASSSSS!!

Every energy you experience through empathy will pass through every center in your body, thus adding to or taking from each energy and thus emotion and sensation tied to each center. Thus, the only real way to work with the emotions of others is to take a good, thorough look at your own because the emotions that will become dominant from others are those emotions you hold charges towards within yourself.

Thus, the key is to discover the root and cause of your own emotional triggers and charges and see where they are similar to the ones you are picking up. Then is to release them which is the same as expressing them, this can be done either internally or externally.

-----

Aion, thank you.  Will try harder!
I hope for decent solitude in time.  I'm refraining from catalyst only because I am not in a position to provide extra-positive aid in the form it is often asked of me, I try to just be calm and often fail with anger.  I need to try harder to figure out why such things still trigger parts of this life experience to manifest the powerful emotions inside of me...  the advice is very useful, thank you.

E_S, no steam account
Ps3 though.  I play lone wolf -Mvp/survivalist- who can team up with random groups to aid them so I'm usually a wingman, I take the turret, I drive if I Have to, I play the Objective (capture, kill, survive, etc...) and would like an actual 'team' player -_-
My style is mid-long range recon, medic or engineer (heavy armor, or AA), not big on running face first to my death.

In those games engineers actually do things physically (like building)? Not like the real world where they just design things?

In battlefield 4 engineers can repair vehicles and destroy them with rockets or mines or a plasma torch.  So not quite but, in other games, yes!

Like Halo 3's Forge mode and Halo: Reach's Forge mode. Halo 4's Forge Mode.

Map Editors basically. But same premise as a builder.

So you just play one character the whole game, or do you switch from engineer to another title depending on situation?

(11-11-2015, 07:17 PM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote: [ -> ]Like Halo 3's Forge mode and Halo: Reach's Forge mode.  Halo 4's Forge Mode.

Map Editors basically.  But same premise as a builder.

Moment of silence for the non-existent forge mode in halo 5.

(11-11-2015, 08:50 PM)Elros Tar-Minyatur Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-11-2015, 07:17 PM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote: [ -> ]Like Halo 3's Forge mode and Halo: Reach's Forge mode.  Halo 4's Forge Mode.

Map Editors basically.  But same premise as a builder.

Moment of silence for the non-existent forge mode in halo 5.

It is being released in December 

(11-11-2015, 09:36 PM)Sabou Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-11-2015, 08:50 PM)Elros Tar-Minyatur Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-11-2015, 07:17 PM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote: [ -> ]Like Halo 3's Forge mode and Halo: Reach's Forge mode.  Halo 4's Forge Mode.

Map Editors basically.  But same premise as a builder.

Moment of silence for the non-existent forge mode in halo 5.

It is being released in December 

Will just be missing split-screen, and being able to view your medals after a game...

(11-10-2015, 11:04 AM)The_Tired_Philosopher Wrote: [ -> ]My dreams have been pretty serene, sleep has been very, very, very, very needed -_-
I can barely handle 40 hour work weeks, I just worked 16 days straight minus halloween night when I got drunk in front of a fire and slept my entire day away like that.  However, recuperation, I have not gotten at all.

But it's like today, I'd say it's more like I literally get hurt by being around people because I feel and see their character's without having any control over it.  And most people in my area aren't the brightest, kindest, or most spiritually aware types.  Life is still magical, it's just that it also feels intensely like a dream just before a nightmare starts.  I feel a kind of fear for the future that is based on actual worries I have...  Such as being homeless, having to live in a very crappy place, and such realities that always feel a few bad days between me and my mom away from becoming true.

I love nights!  I actually enjoy most of my customers, it's just I can't control when a bad person's feelings get stuck on me, and I start unconsciously screwing things up in my job towards customers because I'm hearing judgments that I normally wouldn't have skewing my feelings towards the person.  It's all still me failing to control myself, but I, I mean I.  Ugh.  This might make more sense if I explain what happened today at work that caused me to make this thread.

I work overnights at a gas station, my work also sells donuts, so every night, usually before 1am a Donut Guy comes in and replaces our donuts in the donut case.  Well one of those vendors is a major jerk-off in terms of attitude, he's mean and cruel and finds humor in it, and he likes me cause I just treat him professionally with kindness.  His personality usually gets stuck on me, and usually it's tame but sometimes he's a real ass towards me in his mind, and it just latches his thoughts and criticism into me and suddenly I'm feeling it coming through and out of me.  So he shows up at 3am today, cause he doesn't really care about doing his job in a timely manner because he's salaried, no big deal to me, until he was there in front of me talking to me replacing donuts, then I was suddenly extremely annoyed.  After he left, as a rule of thumb for the sake of not needing to be redundant, I never mop before the donut guy comes, cause their carts will undo the entire mop job with black streaking wheel lines.
Well I'm mopping at 3am and these two guys come in, who look a bit more punkish style, but also act somewhat punkish and a bit arrogant, one of them walks onto the mopped floor and pretends to slip.  Normally it's funny, no big deal, but this time it was like I took it completely personally and it really angered me.  Yet I like my job, so I maintain professionalism.  So the guy walks up to me with a 20 in his hand and begins with, "oh, uhhhhhh.  mmmm..  hmmmaybe split the difference of...uhhherr, well...urhmmuh, maybe uhhhhh." and it was driving me mad!  Like I was growing infuriated with the guy so much so I even had a bit of a tone just like, "Dude, how much on (pump) 1?" and he continues his erms and uhms then finally goes, "uhh, 9.  Wait. yeah 9." and hands me the 20, so I punch in 9 dollars on pump 1 and begins tendering his change when he mumbles up, "Wait, I mean 5."  Normally, okay whatev, a bit non-present, whatev, not the first time.  I concur and say I'll refund the pump.

I don't know how to refund the money on the pump though (still learning all the kinks of the register being the very inactive night shift guy) and along my exploration of refunding the pump I wanted to make sure the guy who was outside (unaware that he shouldn't begin pumping as far as I knew) didn't start pumping the gas, so there's a big red STOP button on the register, so I went and hit it.

Then all the pumps 1 - 12 went down, and my night got bad right there
Then along the way in my terrified fury because I had no idea how to get the pumps back online and had these two guys now in front of me wondering why they can't pump the 9 dollars or put 5 on the pump, and suddenly it's like I'm in a fire in my mind, and all I can do is be like that one comic strip with the dog in the burning home, who's holding his cup of coffee sitting on a chair at his table like, "this is fine."

Except it wasn't fine, I was seriously freaking out, and all because in my annoyance I wasn't thinking straight (I knew how to properly stop a pump but was blanking on the process, hint: Enter the pump number first, then hit STOP) because I was being annoyed and in a jerky bad mood because I let it rub off on me, or maybe it was just my portion of myself manifesting in response to that guy.  I don't want to feign responsibility, it was clearly me, but I was getting annoyed at things I normally never would have.  In my looking back at the memories, it was like the guy's attitude shed upon me and I began enacting it through myself.

I don't want that, Plenum.  I had to send those guys to Circle k across the street, and they had literally no gas, had to push their car across the street.  I really screwed them over.

I really don't want that.  It's why I say, I think I am an Empath, and I have no control over it.  It's like I peer into people, and sometimes I accidentally let them peer into me, and sometimes I absorb parts of them, and I think maybe sometimes they experience what I feel when they're interacting with me, but I don't think they usually know what's going on.  I usually see it because if they're physically low on energy, or I am, if I'm peering, I'll get sweaty and hot and a bit flushed, and I notice it happens to my customers exactly the same way, just out of nowhere they'll start sweating within 10-20 seconds, their face will get a bit flushed and they'll seem more calm or docile (sort of like me when I'm around people I don't know) or if I get it sometimes I'll feel different, like my mood shifts slightly more to theirs, which usually is a bit more casual or businesslike (usually ride the businesslike moods for professionalism   ) but some people you can feel anger or anxiety or irrational feelings or some manner of something that pulls and churns me on the inside in some way as to produce pain.  Like an unconscious pain just in the background, maybe because the empathic ability is passively done in the background???

I don't know anything that I can actually believe is factual about empaths, just theories and beliefs, but nothing for certain, I've never seen someone explain it in a way that makes sense to me, so I wonder if I have a certain type of sensitivity or.  I don't know! I just don't know but if it's going to drive my mind insane, hurt me, and cause me to be bad at my job so catastrophically that I take down my entire gas lot's gas pumps then I need to make sense of this and get a handle on it.

So.  I really do attribute meditation to becoming aware and conscious of these things happening.  I just, wasn't expecting it all to be put into such sheer focus though.  But I do feel somewhat energized enough to handle it all, which is good, even if my physical body is...Hurting and sore but hearty and willing (lol...)

I thought Hands of Light explained something but I haven't felt calm enough to look at it with a clear mind yet, I was thinking of doing it tomorrow in front of a fire with a glass of wine.

But I really do need some advice on how to handle emotions that boot you out of a self-aware or mindful perspective.  I had no realization of how out of character I was being until I had long made all the mistakes and corrected them in sheer terror of my boss's boss calling the store like, "y da gas no wrk JOe?!" (not literally, but a terrified thought indeed).

E_S, I mean, I have a pretty...Addicted gaming personality, I could play an online game with friends for...ever.  It's why I stay away from them, I mean, I might gift myself a Ps4 and Fallout 4 to basically shut myself away and uber-recharge on my Me-Time (have I mentioned I have over 200+ hours on Skyrim on just one save profile?) And Battlefield 4 already have 200 hours logged on it too just on online play (where you run around killing each other, yaaay)

I'd say I already unconsciously did all of that, I guess now I know that who I was as a teenager, was basically how I should be to be happy, much me time, much much alone time.

It's interesting it mentions low energy.  I imagine if I relocated up to Sedona or Flagstaff I'd have a much better time with the people probably, maybe.

Miss Jade, I honestly don't want to stop others from it happening.  I mean to say, even though the link or whatever it is causes me pain, it also connects me to people in ways that make me understand them.  I don't want to stop that, I just want to learn how to be more...Mindful or Conscientious of the negative emotions that might boot us out of a proper self-aware mentality.

Is there anyway to shield from only certain types of links?

What exactly is a cord, and what does it do and such?

thank you everyone O:

Hey TTP, I can relate to a lot of your feelings here. Usually I can handle such experiences as you describe, but seemingly not so much lately... 

similar thoughts/feelings as you describe and reactions in myself were festering ... and festering ... and festering, and finally led to a small emotional breakdown this past weekend. Fortunately, It helped to clear my mind and my emotional body a bit.

I realized It was a loss of power and vital energy I was sacrificing unknowingly in my attempt at staying "balanced" in a distorted way. I was sacrificing the energy and power that polarization offers
in order to stay shielded/protected like Jade was saying and to do the work in consciousness that Aion was recommending. I falsely thought that being in that place of "balance" that I could find some rest and relaxation and some me time, but little did I know I was straying too far away from the positive polarity which gives me strength to face every day challenges such as you described. 

The longer I was trying to stay in this balanced frame of mind, the worst things were getting. I was getting more annoyed, more angry, more impatient. When I finally had my breakdown and cried it out I realized I was treading dangerously close to the depression I had years ago. I had to see that i was not balanced at all, but simply just giving away my strength in my moment of weakness, that moment being the point I decided i needed a break from polarity, when in actuality the perseverance is what gives you strength. 

Maybe something above you can relate to, but i don't know if what I was experiencing (still am) was/is truly similar to the thoughts/feelings/reactions that you had. 
 
But, if you can't relate to anything above, I definitely think a strong sense of humility and patience towards yourself can help you right now, heck even some SUPER loving patience and humility, for there is always time, so much time and so much love and the tactics that Aion and Jade gave.