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Nearly 2 years ago I made an intent to see as many past lives as possible. This intent was coupled with a very loud hallucination of ringing in my right ear, inspired by the Ra material.

My mental health has since grown gradually unstable in this regard.

The results are as follows in the GREATEST SKEPTICISM, under the possibility of delusion:

- A constant growing subconcious yearning for wealth, servants, rooms larger than any home on the market; A great feeling of dissatisfaction with most of what is offered by society as subpar yet having never having experienced anything of such wealth in this life.

- A constant irrational, unlinkable subconscious desire to own large factories with many female workers despite no current practical reason to hold such; A constant crying, fear of harming workers under my care; A great feeling of trauma of not paying workers enough.

- A constant desire to become respected as a woman while being respected as a man in just as much.

- A constant feeling that I should be fatter while retaining a desire to be slim.

- Ambiguous flashbacks of struggling in warzones, especially trenches with a constant sense of doom; Especially occurring during night terrors.

- Growing desire for more land ownership.

- Constant subconscious calls to "serve my country" and a fear "of not serving my country enough" especially in a battlefield setting.

- Desires for pinker furniture, feminine perfumes, hairsprayed hair that I cannot possible satisfy.

The list goes on and on and on.

I can't explain it: I say this to only give you this warning; BE CAREFUL. The night terrors have gotten worse regarding the war stuff. If I am deluded, I somehow deluded myself into some weird occultist form of PTSD.

I f***** up, kiddos. I put too many chemicals together in the occultist chemistry set and now I am healing the burns.
Good luck, man. Ra cautions about becoming "overstimulated with the true nature of things". The veil is there to protect our fragile little mind complexes as much as it is there to confuse them.

I wish you much luck and healing! I don't think you're delusional. I think it's perfectly rational that you are experiencing past lives, if this was your intention. Knowing many of them through the 3D lens has got to be a bit confounding.
This is a question that comes up a lot regards QHHT Therapy.  Are they really past lives being tapped into - or are they just canvases on which to map out the closest matching emotional trauma?

The desire to integrate also opens up the wounds more so that they can be seen for what they are.
There are so many ways to remember and just as many ways to forget. I called my lives together to become One and now I must accept each and every one of them.

Your warning is fair and good for many, but to it I would also offer the glimmer of hope that there is indeed a system which can be build from all the pieces of yourself. It just takes the time and intention to do so.

You're at the 'awkward middle stage', I feel, like hair you are growing out which goes through that awkward middle stage or the middle phases of art where what you are creating may only slightly resemble what your intended creation is because your process will always require doing some thing before or after some other things.

So, the key, in my experience, is to be aware of your priorities.
Occult Alchemy Gone Wrong, The A1 Story.

A1 are you a guy or girl?  I don't want to touch upon more than one or two past lives personally, not unless many past lives were expected to be integrated this time around.  Otherwise, for what I see is literally the reason why I don't want to.

If every regret were added on as the focus of a past life, it'd be potentially terrifying as past life issues begin coming into my current life.

I have...Feelings, vague silent ones in the far backdrop of my mind when.I think about past lives.  I feel like survival was always a factor.  That I lose myself more than expected or underplan or even overestimate a life causing trouble during the life.  I think there's a lot of sexuality change this time around, I mean twisting the energies together.  I don't like male or female societal stigmas or standards.  I'm very much both energies but I think this is uncommon for me.  Its usually one or the other, not one that feels like both.

Then there's societal attachments.  I feel like I have betrayed or manipulated or been betrayed/manipulated.  I desire gradiosity just to squander it.  I want wealth to waste it.  Probably because I was obsessive in the past (This is actually assumption, I'm obsessive with possessiveness now so obsession or freaking out over small/big things or overfocusing is another issue.

I mean, this is all not skeptical, it could be purely subconscious, but sometimes they make me feel like I remember, its literally the 'feeling of remembering' only slight and vague.  And its in contemplation so far only.

I'm busy enough with this life.  I dont need to take away my own time with additional catalyst belonging to a now not so present me...
The Art of Remembrance is an art, indeed.
I notice that many of those feelings skew heavily towards things which are either very masculine or very feminine, or yin-yang if you prefer. Do you think that perhaps this extreme duality indicates you're attempting to reconcile/unify these contrasting forces? It seems to me that being pulled so strongly in "opposite" directions could easily create a sort of crisis point that inspires higher integration.

Just a thought.